NDAlum2003
05-22-2006, 01:44 AM
Very little about this case is on the Net, but I found this one at http://www.tcfatlanta.org/daily111205.html.
This Long Journey called Grief
This joumey called grief is definitely a long one, full of twists and turns.
Our only child --- Chad Maurer, age 19 --- mysteriously died on May 21, 1990. The case is UNSOLVED. We have had three different profilers involved in Chad's death, each with his own theory and facts to back up what they felt happened ... accidental, murder, and suicide.
Last month I received a card from a couple in Wisconsin whose son was also found murdered in Chicago. They paid for a billboard on the interstate with his picture and asked for information about his death. Someone was arrested a year ago and they hope to have a trial next summer.
Then I received a call from Gillian regarding NPR - a new organization founded to help people in Cold Cases such as Chad's, The drawback is that the police dept. has to ask for their help. We have jurisdiction problems in Chad's death. He was found in Chicago, but the Dane County Sheriff's Dept. has done all the investigating. So after 13 year --- my mind and body is still whirling and I am back to not being able the `think straight.' I worked on Chad's case, writing letters, interviews and documenting every phone call and anything said regarding Chad. I did this for four years, until it wore me down. I could not work and make money plus work on Chad's case too.
As Barb Seth said in the last newsletter, time helps to heal. In my case walking, working onChad's case, writing articles about Chad, corresponding with other Alive Alone (a TCF newsletter for parents who have lost their only child or all their children) parents, sending cards to bereaved people on the loved ones anniversary death and birth day helped heal me. I feel Chad is always with me and also watching over my husband John when he BMX races.
Last week we were invited to a wedding. I do not know how it is for you bereaved parents; but going to 'happy events' (especially ones we will never have the chance to do with Chad), is one of the hardest things to endure. I decided I would try the wedding, if I felt ok, I would then go to the reception. Well I ended up having a really good time --- first wedding I enjoyed and didn't feel depressed after.
Today is a different story, another wedding and reception and my heart and soul tells me I cannot do it. I have found I need to listen to my heart even more since Chad's death. John calls us the `Walking Wounded". Chad paid the ultimate price --- his life. This is how I feel today. I sit here and watch it rain and the birds and squirrels feeding. In nature I can get lost along with my beautiful memories of Chad.
Then I did something to help me through the day. I wrote my clients to quit buying me gifts and donate to the three organizations, which have helped us through Chad's death. It felt good to verbalize what is important to me and helps --- objects do not help. I also sent Chad's story to Alive Alone along with his photo and $100 to be put in their May 2004 newsletter (some newsletter .'sell 'pages).
It is doing things `In Memory of Chad' that keeps me going. Sometime in the first year, we put a mayonnaise jar at Chad's grave with a pen and paper inside. The day after Chad's first anniversary, we found over 25 notes and personals to Chad in the jar. Ever since then, there has been a mayo jar at his grave from March through November. After 13 years his friends still visit and leave notes. Last week there were three notes to Chad. These young people had their best friend killed by her boyfriend. It makes no difference whether they knew Chad; they found comfort leaving notes at his grave.
We have heard that some people stop at Chad's grave just to read the notes, to know they are not alone in their grief feelings. How this helps John and I, I cannot even begin to explain. We heard that when Chad was alive, he was one of the teen other teens turned to --- now in death, too Chad helps.
Dolly Maurer, T'CF Madison, WI
~reprinted from Madison Area TCF Newsletter Nov/Dec 2003
This Long Journey called Grief
This joumey called grief is definitely a long one, full of twists and turns.
Our only child --- Chad Maurer, age 19 --- mysteriously died on May 21, 1990. The case is UNSOLVED. We have had three different profilers involved in Chad's death, each with his own theory and facts to back up what they felt happened ... accidental, murder, and suicide.
Last month I received a card from a couple in Wisconsin whose son was also found murdered in Chicago. They paid for a billboard on the interstate with his picture and asked for information about his death. Someone was arrested a year ago and they hope to have a trial next summer.
Then I received a call from Gillian regarding NPR - a new organization founded to help people in Cold Cases such as Chad's, The drawback is that the police dept. has to ask for their help. We have jurisdiction problems in Chad's death. He was found in Chicago, but the Dane County Sheriff's Dept. has done all the investigating. So after 13 year --- my mind and body is still whirling and I am back to not being able the `think straight.' I worked on Chad's case, writing letters, interviews and documenting every phone call and anything said regarding Chad. I did this for four years, until it wore me down. I could not work and make money plus work on Chad's case too.
As Barb Seth said in the last newsletter, time helps to heal. In my case walking, working onChad's case, writing articles about Chad, corresponding with other Alive Alone (a TCF newsletter for parents who have lost their only child or all their children) parents, sending cards to bereaved people on the loved ones anniversary death and birth day helped heal me. I feel Chad is always with me and also watching over my husband John when he BMX races.
Last week we were invited to a wedding. I do not know how it is for you bereaved parents; but going to 'happy events' (especially ones we will never have the chance to do with Chad), is one of the hardest things to endure. I decided I would try the wedding, if I felt ok, I would then go to the reception. Well I ended up having a really good time --- first wedding I enjoyed and didn't feel depressed after.
Today is a different story, another wedding and reception and my heart and soul tells me I cannot do it. I have found I need to listen to my heart even more since Chad's death. John calls us the `Walking Wounded". Chad paid the ultimate price --- his life. This is how I feel today. I sit here and watch it rain and the birds and squirrels feeding. In nature I can get lost along with my beautiful memories of Chad.
Then I did something to help me through the day. I wrote my clients to quit buying me gifts and donate to the three organizations, which have helped us through Chad's death. It felt good to verbalize what is important to me and helps --- objects do not help. I also sent Chad's story to Alive Alone along with his photo and $100 to be put in their May 2004 newsletter (some newsletter .'sell 'pages).
It is doing things `In Memory of Chad' that keeps me going. Sometime in the first year, we put a mayonnaise jar at Chad's grave with a pen and paper inside. The day after Chad's first anniversary, we found over 25 notes and personals to Chad in the jar. Ever since then, there has been a mayo jar at his grave from March through November. After 13 years his friends still visit and leave notes. Last week there were three notes to Chad. These young people had their best friend killed by her boyfriend. It makes no difference whether they knew Chad; they found comfort leaving notes at his grave.
We have heard that some people stop at Chad's grave just to read the notes, to know they are not alone in their grief feelings. How this helps John and I, I cannot even begin to explain. We heard that when Chad was alive, he was one of the teen other teens turned to --- now in death, too Chad helps.
Dolly Maurer, T'CF Madison, WI
~reprinted from Madison Area TCF Newsletter Nov/Dec 2003