or are you one of those people who can't deal with dating a person who has children whether the person is divorced, never married, widowed?

I might, if the kids were young enough, or had left home...especially if her Ex wasnt part of her life ( ok, i know, a lot of "ifs" :P )

I have thought about this scenario before. Honestly, I don't think I could. Personally, it's just a little difficult situation if I dated a father with children and for me as well. It's kinda touchy on both sides. For one thing, I can empathize what he's going through, but I couldn't relate because I myself don't have kids. There are just various ties that goes with the parent and child.

Yes, but not at my tender age. :p

I usually tried to stay away from men with children after I had a bad experience involving a man with 2 kids. The kids themselves were great, we all got along and everything. The problem was the ex-wife and the fact that the guy rarely had time to spend with me because when he got off work it seems he always had to go to one of his kids sports/school events and i could never accompany him because his ex was always there. I also discovered that most men with kids don't want to settle down/get married because they've been through that already.

I usually tried to stay away from men with children after I had a bad experience involving a man with 2 kids. The kids themselves were great, we all got along and everything. The problem was the ex-wife and the fact that the guy rarely had time to spend with me because when he got off work it seems he always had to go to one of his kids sports/school events and i could never accompany him because his ex was always there. I also discovered that most men with kids don't want to settle down/get married because they've been through that already.
^ Yep, this is what I meant by "things getting too involved and too touchy." There is just so much happening already. These kinds of strings make it feel like being a "third wheel." Unless, one doesn't mind getting involved.

I have children and getting a date is twice as hard when you do. I also wouldn't like to date someone with young children, I'm not a babysitter.:p It's more than likely that an 'ex' would be lurking around on the other side and I'm not comfortable with that since I know how it feels to have your ex doing the same thing.

or are you one of those people who can't deal with dating a person who has children whether the person is divorced, never married, widowed?


Maybe in about 10 years

My message to women with small children is if you are going to talk to a guy on the phone make sure your kids are sleep-lol

My message to women with small children is if you are going to talk to a guy on the phone make sure your kids are sleep-lol


Awww, but WHY???(JK) Talking when the kids are awake gives you a real sense of what you really are in for.:p :lol:

Awww, but WHY???(JK) Talking when the kids are awake gives you a real sense of what you really are in for.:p :lol:


I rather not thear the kids at all. I was glad to see that someone created a SINGLE PARENT Dating service.

I rather not thear the kids at all. I was glad to see that someone created a SINGLE PARENT Dating service.

:rolleyes: The kids come with the whole package, she's not going to leave them behind to run away with you.

:rolleyes: The kids come with the whole package, she's not going to leave them behind to run away with you.


My point is I don;t need to know about them UPFRONT, i want to know about her so I can see if I"M WASTING MY TIME. Recently I just rejected a female with a son because when I asked her to send me a picture, she send me one with her son iit and I didn;t want to see that right away. Seems like women with kids are a little desperate

My point is I don;t need to know about them UPFRONT, i want to know about her so I can see if I"M WASTING MY TIME. Recently I just rejected a female with a son because when I asked her to send me a picture, she send me one with her son iit and I didn;t want to see that right away. Seems like women with kids are a little desperate

The kid is part of her life and as a mom we can't just hide them under rocks.She was being upfront with you and you took it the wrong way. One of the first things that I would love someone to tell me is if they have kids and seeing a pic first hand would make me either run away faster or stay. Waiting for her to tell you and then you getting dissapointed and leaving is breaking her heart. It's a two way street. The first thing I tell someone is 'I have kids'; if they don't like it there's the door.

The kid is part of her life and as a mom we can't just hide them under rocks.She was being upfront with you and you took it the wrong way. One of the first things that I would love someone to tell me is if they have kids and seeing a pic first hand would make me either run away faster or stay. Waiting for her to tell you and then you getting dissapointed and leaving is breaking her heart. It's a two way street. The first thing I tell someone is 'I have kids'; if they don't like it there's the door.



Yeah you can let me know you are a SINGLE MOM but I don;t need to know about your kid right away such as what he likes and the stuff he likes to watch. My focus in the beginning is on the mom so we can see if there is any point in me knowing more about her child.

Yeah you can let me know you are a SINGLE MOM but I don;t need to know about your kid right away such as what he likes and the stuff he likes to watch. My focus in the beginning is on the mom so we can see if there is any point in me knowing more about her child.


You are judging her too much; she was probably trying to do small talk. All moms talk about what the kids like or not like. We can see if there's a connection with the prospect and the family that way too.
I have an 8yr old who is very outspoken without being disrespectful; I bet you don't like that.

You are judging her too much; she was probably trying to do small talk. All moms talk about what the kids like or not like. We can see if there's a connection with the prospect and the family that way too.
I have an 8yr old who is very outspoken without being disrespectful; I bet you don't like that.



I don't think Single moms should talk about their kids when they first meet a guy. Defintely not the thing to do. Not if a Single mom meets someone on the Single parent dating service then I guess it would be ok.

I don't think Single moms should talk about their kids when they first meet a guy. Defintely not the thing to do. Not if a Single mom meets someone on the Single parent dating service then I guess it would be ok.


Why not?It turns you off? :p . Of course we should talk about our kids; most single parents are very proud of their work and deserve great credit for it.We don't need to go to a single parent dating service just because we have children. There are understanding people out there and you are def not one of them.

Why not?It turns you off? :p . Of course we should talk about our kids; most single parents are very proud of their work and deserve great credit for it.We don't need to go to a single parent dating service just because we have children. There are understanding people out there and you are def not one of them.


What is wrong with a single parent dating service if you are a parent? I thought that would be a good thing. Just like they have a dating site for Big Men and Big Women. By joing that site you already know that the guys on their will ACCEPT you and your kids

What is wrong with a single parent dating service if you are a parent? I thought that would be a good thing. Just like they have a dating site for Big Men and Big Women. By joing that site you already know that the guys on their will ACCEPT you and your kids

I don't need to go to a 'special' dating service just because of my status. Put yourself in her shoes and think if you were the parent and go on a date you would probably be carrying his baby pics around showing them off. What's wrong with a dating service for everyone alike? Having children or being overweight/underweight doesn't make one different or extra special.

I married a man with teens who are all adults now with kids of their own. There have been a lot of ups and downs. Would I do it again if I could turn back the clock? Not so sure sometimes.

There's the financial obligation (support, college, weddings, etc), time restraints, jealousy on both sides, etc, etc. It's a huge pain in the neck.

Dating or marrying someone with kids is not for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's better to have someone be upfront about it from the start than to back out down the road when you and your kids have fallen for the person.

I have a 23 year old niece. I advise her all the time to run for the hills from guys with kids. The pool of childless men is full now. If she's single in her 30s and beyond, then her choices get more narrow.

I'm with Solomon as far as anyone talking about their kids too much in the beginning. The person has to fall for you first, and many people, especially men, don't want to hear a lot about the kids in the early stage.

I'm with Solomon as far as anyone talking about their kids too much in the beginning. The person has to fall for you first, and many people, especially men, don't want to hear a lot about the kids in the early stage.


I don't mean to spend the whole 30 minutes talking about them BUT at least mention that you have kids so there are no surprises. Just like the original Yours< Mine and Ours..If they are more interested in the kids they'll prolly ask more questions about them, it can also break a potential relationship right there but at least it didn't go into any further damage.

I don't mean to spend the whole 30 minutes talking about them BUT at least mention that you have kids so there are no surprises. Just like the original Yours< Mine and Ours..If they are more interested in the kids they'll prolly ask more questions about them, it can also break a potential relationship right there but at least it didn't go into any further damage.
I agree with you there. The person should definitely tell the person that she has children and even spend a little time talking about them. I just don't think most men want to hear a lot about the kids if they don't have feelings for the woman yet.

Heck, I don't want to hear a lot about my girlfriend's kids, lol. I have one friend who's like a broken record. Never shuts up about her kids.

I also think it's a bad idea to whip out the pictures too early. If they met through Parents Without Partners or a dating service that caters to people with children, then it's different.

Gotta get the guy on the hook before you can reel him in, lol.

I don't need to go to a 'special' dating service just because of my status. Put yourself in her shoes and think if you were the parent and go on a date you would probably be carrying his baby pics around showing them off. What's wrong with a dating service for everyone alike? Having children or being overweight/underweight doesn't make one different or extra special.



You never know maybe it's a good guy on there. But I'm not saying you should just go there and that's it.

I once dated an older woman who had three kids. The oldest was a few years younger than me. We hated each other. It wasn't the best situation. I wound up doing a lot of things with both the woman and her kids. If you are young and single, I suggest you do NOT get involved with a woman and kids.

I married a man with teens who are all adults now with kids of their own. There have been a lot of ups and downs. Would I do it again if I could turn back the clock? Not so sure sometimes.

There's the financial obligation (support, college, weddings, etc), time restraints, jealousy on both sides, etc, etc. It's a huge pain in the neck.

Dating or marrying someone with kids is not for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's better to have someone be upfront about it from the start than to back out down the road when you and your kids have fallen for the person.

I have a 23 year old niece. I advise her all the time to run for the hills from guys with kids. The pool of childless men is full now. If she's single in her 30s and beyond, then her choices get more narrow.

I'm with Solomon as far as anyone talking about their kids too much in the beginning. The person has to fall for you first, and many people, especially men, don't want to hear a lot about the kids in the early stage.


THAN YOU JANICE, well said. The man has to fall for the women first before hearing about her kids

Ideally, no.

Way back, before I met my husband. I went on a date with a guy who did nothing but talk about his ex-wife. They were recently divorced. He wasn't saying nice things about her, but still. It told me he was either still hung up on her, still reeling from the divorce or they did hate each other. That's something I didn't want any part of. It was our last date.

THAN YOU JANICE, well said. The man has to fall for the women first before hearing about her kids
And my advice to you Mr. Solomon is to get busy finding a childless woman now. You're not getting any younger yourself, and the available childless women will dwindle as you get older.

The kid is part of her life and as a mom we can't just hide them under rocks.She was being upfront with you and you took it the wrong way. One of the first things that I would love someone to tell me is if they have kids and seeing a pic first hand would make me either run away faster or stay. Waiting for her to tell you and then you getting dissapointed and leaving is breaking her heart. It's a two way street. The first thing I tell someone is 'I have kids'; if they don't like it there's the door.
I think that's why my boyfriend and I hit it off right away...aside for other reasons...was because within an hour of meeting each other he would talk abt his teen daughters with pride. It felt good to hear a man speak of his children rather than "hide them under rocks (LMAO)" as you so stated. I too felt comfortable talking abt my kids. I mean, they are an extension of us.

I can see a little of what Solomon is saying. Let me get to know YOU first, before I deal with kids. And that is good because why expose your children to a potential boyfriend/girlfriend over and over and over again. I have a girlfriend with a son and he has been thru two "boyfriends". It's not my child, but I feel that she shouldn't allow him to see a "revolving door" of men. My boyfriend was the only man I had in my house "way after we started dating". I had talked to other guys, but I never introduced them to my girls or let the guys see them. They never even set foot in my house. I had the control as to when, what, etc.

I can see a little of what Solomon is saying. Let me get to know YOU first, before I deal with kids. And that is good because why expose your children to a potential boyfriend/girlfriend over and over and over again. I have a girlfriend with a son and he has been thru two "boyfriends". It's not my child, but I feel that she shouldn't allow him to see a "revolving door" of men. My boyfriend was the only man I had in my house "way after we started dating". I had talked to other guys, but I never introduced them to my girls or let the guys see them. They never even set foot in my house. I had the control as to when, what, etc.

I agree there. Every time a new friend comes around I don't subject my kids to that.I don't bring them to the house, they don't know him ect. I don't want them confused or having feelings for someone I have no clue is going to stick around or not.
I also think that this other girl Solomon went out with was just trying to make small talk or plainly using her child as a defense mechanism to keep the guys away.

And my advice to you Mr. Solomon is to get busy finding a childless woman now. You're not getting any younger yourself, and the available childless women will dwindle as you get older.


Well i will just have to continue to date younger woman-lol

No, I wouldn't.

If I were single and childless it wouldn't bother me if a guy had kids. Now if his kids were in their teens, I don't know how I would handle that situation. Little kids are much easier to win over then teenagers lol.

Nope. I wouldn't date a guy with kids.

when I met my boyfriend his girls were 13 and 18...my girls were 10 and 15. So we had alot in common as far as having two girls each and them being pre-teens and teens. Of course they are all adults now and me and him have a 4 year old son together. We would do things with his girls and mine and then we had our "alone" time. I never really had to deal with their mother because she had her own issues and wasn't really seen. I only once had a bad run-in with her, but nothing else.

For me, it depends. A guy at church and I thought about dating and he has a 3 year old daughter. I think I could handle that, but I wouldn't feel comfortable if the kids were older.

If I were single and childless it wouldn't bother me if a guy had kids. Now if his kids were in their teens, I don't know how I would handle that situation. Little kids are much easier to win over then teenagers lol.


Well the female I was going to talk to recently until she turned me off had a 12 year old son and I didn;t think that was too bad

Well the female I was going to talk to recently until she turned me off had a 12 year old son and I didn;t think that was too bad
i can't speak for all men, but i think the majority of men who don't mind dating women with kids, prefer that they are older because they know the kids will be moving out soon, going to college, something like that. A little kid, a man pretty much is the step-father taking on more responsibility.

i can't speak for all men, but i think the majority of men who don't mind dating women with kids, prefer that they are older because they know the kids will be moving out soon, going to college, something like that. A little kid, a man pretty much is the step-father taking on more responsibility.


Irene when the women called me and said-Hi Solomon just wanted to say hi? And I said-"where are you? and then she said-"Me and my son is getting our feet done" I was like HUH?????? Haven't returned her calls since-lol

If the relationship with his ex was good and his child was young maybe. I think it would be much easier with a toddler than a teenager. It also depends on how well parented the kids are. I couldn't date someone who just let their kid do whatever they wanted. I see enough screaming and bratty kids at work.

well, i'm 13. so no.

but if i was over around 18+ or so, i don't know, if they really are a good person

I honestly don't think I could. First off, I'm wayyy too young to be dealing with children right now. I know myself well enough to know I couldn't handle it. Secondly, yeah, the whole ex thing. Just seems too awkward for me. Plus, I wouldn't want the responsibility of 'baby-sitting' if my boyfriend has to work and needs a convenient place to drop off the kids when I'm on my off days from college. No way, no how!

If she's a obviously responsible and decent person, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

One of my cousin's married someone who had kids (one 8 and one 10) and they are really happy now. They have been married a year come this August. It may be working for him but it would be nothing I would want to ever deal with so no.

Irene when the women called me and said-Hi Solomon just wanted to say hi? And I said-"where are you? and then she said-"Me and my son is getting our feet done" I was like HUH?????? Haven't returned her calls since-lol
:lol:

I rather not thear the kids at all. I was glad to see that someone created a SINGLE PARENT Dating service.

This is why you will never have kids. :p

As for me, I'm not dating yet, so I don't know, but I think it would depend on how much I like the person and whether the kids are well-behaved or not.

or are you one of those people who can't deal with dating a person who has children whether the person is divorced, never married, widowed?

Right now, no. I'm too young and I don't feel like raising someone else's child.

Maybe.....if his wife died, I would, but if he got a divorce in the past it'd depend on the reason of the divorce