Who has them?

I most likely have depression. I hide it from my family and friends. Every night i find myself crying myself to sleep while thinking of painful memories.


My heart is so heavy

Oh, I am a complete basket case. My life is such a mess. Lately I haven't been doing anything except laying around and listening to music all of the time.

But my new resolution is not to complain and try to deal with it by myself. Whenever I try to talk to people about things, they seem to get worse.

I took some online tests last night about depression and anxiety. It pretty much told me to get help...which is sad, because I already do.

But yes, I do. Anxiety, depression, the whole thing.

I've suffered from depression, last yr wasn't a great yr. My bestfriend was murdered and then I had a baby (the baby was a great thing). But as women with children know, that after you have a baby your emotions are all over the place, but things are better now. You have to talk to someone, you can't hold it in forever, it will tear you up

Anxiety,

depression has played a huge role in my family, even though only my mom and i had it. she had it as an adolescent and was hospitalized for it when she was a little older than i am now. my dad made her cry and hurt her feelings a lot, sometimes to the point where she just walked out of the house and came back the next day, which i didn't and still don't blame her for. to fully elaborate on all that i'd have to go way into my family's miserable history, but what i mean is that i know the way she reacted to things like that is related to depression. i have exactly the same basic way of thinking, and i inherited depression from her in the first place. she was worried that i had it when i was twelve, and although i didn't consciously feel sad a lot, i'd be watching those zoloft commercials and thinking "yeah, maybe she's right"; i was diagnosed with it in february 2002. i could make this post about four and a half times longer by talking about my experiences with it all, but briefly, i have it from both genetic and environmental factors, i've wanted to die off and on since i was eight (though not seriously until december 2002), i don't even know whether my antidepressants work because i've taken so many kinds and for so long, and i'm too stupid, lazy and careless to handle it all properly and instead use physical pain to feel better at hard times. the end.

oh, and OCD. let's not get started with that..i diagnosed MYSELF with it; there CAN NOT be a person out there as compulsive as i without a disorder. i could literally list hundreds of compulsions that i've dealt with every day for the past ten years of my life. but i think like 75% i don't even realize that i'm obeying them because i'm so damn used to it. i've thought about going a day tally marking every time i had a compulsive urge, but there are just so damn many i'd be forgetting to mark a lot of them. and the thing is my dad frankly doesn't give a damn; he thinks it's flat out MY fault for obeying them. physically, yes, i CAN ignore it; mentally..it's merely impossible. i have to find a way to hide it when i'm around him because he will actually yell at me if i don't, claiming it "creeps him out", and has made fun of me for it a few times.

Iv'e been suffering with severe depression since I was 13. I'm talking about the debilitating kind, where you're so full of sorrow, that the very thought of getting out of bed is unbearable. I'm so sorry that you're going through this too. :( You might want to tell someone about this so you can get the proper help. Medication has helped me a great deal, and it might be able to help you too. Anyways, I sincerely hope you start feeling better real soon. If you ever need someone to talk to about it, I, and I'm sure many others here, are here for you!! :)

I am also a nutcase haha I have depression and have since I was really young, but has gotten worse with other medical problems. I also have severe anxiety and need to get my stress down a lot! I wish I knew of a way to make all this stuff go away. Meds unfortunately don't work with me (these probs anyway) so I'm stuck atm. Hopefully it will get better:wave:

I was diagnosed with dysthymic depression a few years ago. It's a milder, yet more chronic form of depression (characterized by low self-esteem, anxiety, suicidal thoughts/tendencies, eating disorders, and a general apathy and lack of motivation... all symptoms I had) which I think sucks because I'll never be rid of it. I used to take medication and go to therapy for it, but due to the high costs of treatment, had to quit going. It really sucks, but somehow I've managed to cope with it on my own. I don't think I'll ever feel truly happy, though.

Me. Diagnosed with depression in 8th grade. Been on medication ever since. It's a mystery to me how long I've actually had it, though. Maybe all my life...

Anxiety is another one too. I've always been deathly afraid of even the littlest things such as just talking to people, or managing what's going on with upcoming events and just feeling far more comfortable if I don't have to do anything. It's far beyond normal.

I also think I have a milk form of OCD. I've gotten a lot better with it, but when I was little it was almost rediculous. I'd get to the point of tears because I had to do something just right or I thought something bad was going to happen.

It's a mystery to me how long I've actually had it, though. Maybe all my life...

Looking back, I think I've had anxiety all my life, but didn't really know what it was or how serious it was.

oh, and OCD. let's not get started with that..i diagnosed MYSELF with it; there CAN NOT be a person out there as compulsive as i without a disorder. i could literally list hundreds of compulsions that i've dealt with every day for the past ten years of my life. but i think like 75% i don't even realize that i'm obeying them because i'm so damn used to it. i've thought about going a day tally marking every time i had a compulsive urge, but there are just so damn many i'd be forgetting to mark a lot of them. and the thing is my dad frankly doesn't give a damn; he thinks it's flat out MY fault for obeying them. physically, yes, i CAN ignore it; mentally..it's merely impossible. i have to find a way to hide it when i'm around him because he will actually yell at me if i don't, claiming it "creeps him out", and has made fun of me for it a few times.

Oh yeah, I definetly know how OCD is. I've never been diagnosed with it, but it's so obvious I have it it's crazy. Just about everything I do in daily living is effected in some way by it, some not so much and some greatly, and it changes just about every action I take in some way shape or form. I've had it for as long as I can remember and when I was younger it was extremely obvious there was something wrong with me at times. Everyone in my family just thinks I'm a freak who can stop, always been that way...But it's impossible.

Atleast I'm getting over randomly feeling the need to wash my hands for no reason at all. There was a time when I did it over 40 times a day, and if I didnt do it atleast that many times it would drive me insane all day.

I'd get to the point of tears because I had to do something just right or I thought something bad was going to happen.
I have many haunting memories of days when I'd feel like that. One of the oddest things was that when I was little and I said I was sorry about something to someone, I'd have to say it like 5 times at different points in the day for fear the person was going to be killed and they wouldn't have heard me or whatever.

And then I would feel like I had to do some certain thing to make sure they didnt die....Which would make me feel bad because I was always afraid they would die and it would be my fault somehow because I didnt do everything to make sure it didnt happen.

Thankfully I grew out of that fairly quickly.

As a child, I was constantly bullied by my classmates and put down by people. I had a few friends who either backstabbed me or left me for another group of friends. I still have a very difficult time trusting people. It stinks because, deep down, I want to have positive relationships with people, but I'm so paraniod that I'll be hurt or abandoned again that I just don't bother trying to get to know people anymore. I'm lonely, but I'm afraid of further rejection. I just can't take it anymore. Some days, I feel like just ending it all because of my constant inner pain.