Mine is when ross found out that chandler kissed rachel before him,
Monica: whats up with you guys
Ross: chandler kissed Rachel the same night as me
Chandler:it was nothin
Ross" i remember she was sleepin on my bed under those jackets and then we had our first kiss
Chandler: why would i put rachel on your bed. she was on my bed
Ross: No she was under all the jackets
Chandler: no Monica was on your bed
monica+ross:huuh!
Ross: you were my first kiss with rachel!
Monica: you were my first kiss EVER!
Chandler:what did i marry into?!?!?!?!?:lol: :lol:

A man duh

Joey: Come on, Monica's dating him! There's gotta be sómething wrong about him!
Chandler: Now, be nice Joey.. (to Monica) Does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?

Monica : It's not a date; it's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
Chandler : Sounds like a date to me.

Chandler : Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian... Did I say that out loud?

Ross: I just want to be married again
(Rachel walks in, wearing a wedding dress)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars!

(Monica's apartment, The buzzer goes off)
Chandler: Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound.

Chandler: 'You're such a nice guy' means: 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complain about them... to yóu!'

Chandler : You know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed. They were very nice boobies.
Rachel : 'Nice?' They were 'nice'? I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are 'nice'.
Chandler : Okay. Rock . . hard place . . me..

Ross : Since you saw her boobies, I think you're going to have to show her your pee-pee.
Chandler : You know, I don't see that happening.
Rachel : Come on. He's right. Tit for tat.
Chandler : Well, I'm not showing you my tat.

Joey : How do I look?
Chandler ( taking an intent look ): Oh, uh....I don't care.

Chandler : I'll show you to my room... That sounds so weird when it isn't followed by 'no thanks, it's late.'

Monica : So great! He showed me where the restaurant's going to be. It's this cute little place on 10th Street. Not too big, not too small. Just right.
Chandler : Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?

Chandler : Hey Rach, we've gotta settle.
Rachel : Settle what?
Chandler : The ..ah.. Jamestown colony in Virginia. You see King George is giving us the land and ...

Phoebe ( after losing at poker ): I want you to know that this money is cursed. Uh huh, I cursed it. So now, bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Chandler : I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way, I can break them up with a movie.

Ross : I figured after work, I'd pick up a bottle of wine, go over there, and try to...woo her.
Chandler : Hey, you know what you should do? Take her back to the 1890s when that phrase was last used.

Phoebe : Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!
Chandler : Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat.
( He calls her then hurriedly hangs up )
Chandler ( on phone ): I got her machine.
Joey : Her answering machine?
Chandler : No, interesting enough, her leaf blower picked up.

Chandler : Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...
Ross : ...desperate, needy, pathetic?
Chandler : Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.

Ross [ imitating Chandler]: The hills are alive with the sound...OF music!
Joey : My scone!
Ross, Joey, and Phoebe : MY scone!
Chandler : Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so NOT true...that is SO not... that is so NOT...that is so...oh, shut up!

Joey : How young is Young Ethan?
Monica : He's our age.
Chandler : When we were....?

Joey : I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars.
Chandler : Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's.

Ross : There was always this little voice inside that said, 'It's never gonna happen. Move on.' And you know whose voice that was?
Chandler : God?
Ross : It was you, pal.
Chandler : Well maybe it was just God doing me.

Chandler : ( about his similarity to Mr Heckles ) Our trains are on the same track, ok? Yeah, sure, I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. Bitter Town. Aloneville. Hermit Junction.

Rachel: Chandler, Monica just broke my seashell lamp!
Chandler: Neat. I'm gonna die alone!
Rachel: ...okay, you win.

Chandler : If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm going to need a thing, you know -- a hook. Like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, you know? Crazy Snake Man. Then I'll get more snakes, call them my babies; kids won't walk by my place , they will run! 'Run away from Crazy Snake Man!' they'll shout!

Chandler : Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.

Joey : The Ice Capades?
Chandler : No, no, the Gravel Capades. The turns are a little slower, but when Snoopy falls, FUNNY!!

Ross : Oh my God, you are pure evil.
Chandler : Okay, pure evil... horny and alone. I've done this.

Chandler ( in reference to Monica ): Hey Joey, be a pal. Lift my arm and smack her with it.

Monica : Come on. Five more push-ups.
Chandler : I can't do it.
Monica : Five more and I'll flash you.
Chandler : One...two...two and a half. Alright, show me one.

Joey : Well, I guess I could sleep with her... I mean, how could I do that?
Chandler :Well, I... I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know.

Chandler : ( telling Joey ) You know maybe this isn't such a big deal you know. Umm... the way I see it is, you get a great job and you get to have sex. You know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas!

Monica : Alright, people, we're in trouble here. We've only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left. Move, move, move!
Chandler : Monica, I feel like you should have German subtitles.

Joey ( at Carol and Susan's wedding ): It just seems so futile, ya know. All these women and...nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, ya know. I have the cape and yet cannot fly.
Chandler : Well, now you understand how I feel every single day, OK. The world is my lesbian wedding.

Chandler : ( on how to deal with Joey's stalker ) Yes, hitting her with a frying pan is a good idea. We might want to have a back-up plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon!

Susie : OK, who was the guy that got caught masturbating?
Chandler : He wasn't masturbating. He was looking for his bus money.

Chandler : What? ( looks around and realizes the woman walked away because of the bracelet Joey gave him )
Oh this is excellent. You know, he could've gotten me a VCR, he could've gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no. He has to get me the woman repeller. The eyesore from the Liberace House of Crap!!
Phoebe : It's not that bad.
Chandler : Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection.

Monica : Oh, ummm, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was, uh, a little bigger then.
Chandler : Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.

Joey : (watching Monica's prom video) Hey! Some girl ate Monica.
Monica : Oh, shut up! The camera adds ten pounds.
Chandler : Ahhh...so how many cameras are actually on you?

Rachel : (still watching Monica's prom video) Oh my God!
Joey : What is with your nose?
Rachel : They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
Chandler : OK. I was wrong. That's what they used to cover Connecticut.

Chandler : Hey, big guy. Game time!
Richard : Be right there.
Monica : There's a game?
Chandler : Uh, yeah. I just got my pick-up sticks back from the shop. Bring your nerves of steel!

man you love chandler!!!!!!!!

man you love chandler!!!!!!!!
Chandler definately delivers the best lines! :cool:

Ross (while attempting to move a couch up the stairs): "PIVOT!!!... PIVOT!!!... PIVOT!!!"

"So I guess it's true what Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine said, 'the rhythm is gonna get ya." - Miss Chanandler Bong

From the ninth season:

Chandler (to Monica): "You tricked me to get me into bed?" Monica (smiles): "That's right;-I got mine." Chandler: "I feel so used."

On the Thanksgiving episode when Rachel makes the Trifle and she put peas and ground beef in it. And when Ross and Joey was eating it Ross's line cracks me up

Ross: It taste like feet! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

From the ninth season:

Chandler (to Monica): "You tricked me to get me into bed?" Monica (smiles): "That's right;-I got mine." Chandler: "I feel so used."
Love that episode! Another great quote from the same episode is when Phoebe starts shouting at Judy - "Pick up the sock Judy! PICK UP THE SOCK!!!" :lol:

I have alot of favorites, but here are some of them.

on TOW The Embryos where they are playing that game.
Ross: Every week the tv guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment, What name appears on the address label?
Rachel: Chandler gets it, its Chandler Bing!
Monica: NO!
Ross: I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to Chanandler Bong.
LOL.

Janice: You love me Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Oh, No I don't!

Ross: PIVOT PIVOT PIVOT!!!!!
Chandler: Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!!!!

I have alot of favorites, but here are some of them.

on TOW The Embryos where they are playing that game.
Ross: Every week the tv guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment, What name appears on the address label?
Rachel: Chandler gets it, its Chandler Bing!
Monica: NO!
Ross: I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to Chanandler Bong.
LOL.

From the same episode:
Ross:What does Chandler say scares the bejesus out of him?
Monica:Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance.
Joey(to Chandler):the Irish Jig guy?
Chandler:His legs flail about as if independent from his body!!

Makes me laugh every time.

Rachel:Who does she think she is, Princess Caroline?
Monica:You're jealous of Princess Caroline?
Rachel Do I have my own castle?

Joey:She kissed better than my mom......cooks.
Monica:I am so glad you said cooks.

Chandler(after witnessing Phoebe & Monica 'catfighting'):Was it wrong that I was totally aroused by that?

I have alot of favorites, but here are some of them.

on TOW The Embryos where they are playing that game.
Ross: Every week the tv guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment, What name appears on the address label?
Rachel: Chandler gets it, its Chandler Bing!
Monica: NO!
Ross: I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to Chanandler Bong.
LOL.

Janice: You love me Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Oh, No I don't!

Ross: PIVOT PIVOT PIVOT!!!!!
Chandler: Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!!!!


That cracks me up everytime

Yeah Me 2. I love it.

On the Thanksgiving episode when Rachel makes the Trifle and she put peas and ground beef in it. And when Ross and Joey was eating it Ross's line cracks me up

Ross: It taste like feet! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
_________________________________________________________________

That one was funny; I liked it a lot but of course there are others. :lol: :lol:

On the Thanksgiving episode when Rachel makes the Trifle and she put peas and ground beef in it. And when Ross and Joey was eating it Ross's line cracks me up

Ross: It taste like feet! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

That's one of my favorites.

Another favorite:

Phoebe: If we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches! :lol:

Ross: I just bamboozled Chandler! [...] Which has nothing to do with sex.

In my opinion the sole best line off all.