Sorry to all but here's my explanation of my absence...During that absence I am told I was called a bad trader, probably deservedly, but I am back now and would love a second chance with some of you. Most know I've been reliable for the past almost 4 years as a trader, so this run of bad luck....well, hopefully it has passed.

It's been such a tough year for me. I will NOT be sad to see 2005 end soon. I feel awful for not getting back to anyone and I KNOW that people must be pretty steamed at me from the groups etc. I figured I would stay off the boards for a bit until i cleared my head. Im much better now though. Long story short, my husband's mom had a heart attack and we flew to Bolivia to be with her. Then that escalated to an extended stay where since it was so close to the end of the school year we just left them be until the new school year started. We had to settle a ****load of affairs and all. I had no access to my gmail since i couldnt remember my passwords (i store them on this pc at home so as to not have to remember anything usually). We got back recently and im just settling in and emailing everyone who was worried and/or I owe something to. I hope to be all caught up by the end of the year. I apologize for disappearing but it was truly unavoidable. Anyways, if we could start over that would be awesome.

if u want to make things right, then email me please, i will try to resolve between us before i go to next step, rsvp please

First off, I would like to state. When user is banned, it is under the direction and choice, after all information is give- to the owner or the moderators.
You choosing to come back, after over half a year- would have been recieved a lot more honest had you come to one of us first.

In both posts, Lamont specifically has stated you owe him material from previous posts, and as of this evening you had not emailed him to work something out.


I

I have contacted you personally, and privately to discuss this matter- as well as mkaing a post in the ofrum of all whom are under the impression you still own them, and I will email you that list.
But you won't be trading on this board, with loose ends.

Savage~

I actually did contact Lamont. been exchanging emails all afternoon. But i didnt change accounts or whatnot. I had this account set up previously. i needed my password reset. I never made claims to want to start new trades. Perhaps my intent wasnt clear. Im not looking for new trades. All i want is to make right what went wrong. I hope no one should go through tough times. Seems no one understands that life isnt always fair. Had i known i would be gone this amount of time I would have arranged better. But i didnt know. And on one more note, IF LIFE throws anyone hard times, please remember this is first a hobby, and not to be taken too seriously. Life is short. Ive seen that it gives people cold turns. Whatever, I returned because i was told i was labeled a bad trader. I have had MANY MANY good trades until my life was swept into turmoil.

Nonetheless, if i WAS banned I wasnt told. I shall leave. Please contact me privately anyone who I owe stuff to. I will not be here where clearly people have happy shiny lives and no one has problems and *I* for one would understand people havign real life problems. However, no one has dealt with leaving a country to be somewhere they have never been for what was supposed to be 2 weeks or so. It turned into a mass snowball effect of 4 months PLUS. So yes, if i handled it badly, I am wrong. I am adult enough to admit it. I tried to email people personally and then wanted to make right what went wrong

WOULD A TRUE BAD TRADER REMATERIALIZE OFFERING TO FIX WHAT WENT WRONG? I DID REMATERIALIZE...
No i think not. Most disappear with new names, aliases. I returned with my last known email. Granted I used others at some time or another,but as with us all, we all found better than limiting email accounts. Gmail has been my email for the last i dont know how long. I hadnt converted everything over
i can name all my email accounts but none are working. The other emails have limits to what is stored, which explains emails bouncing.


you can reachme at cyn4ever@gmail.com....to all my friends online that have always known i am a good trader and kept the faith in me i thank you. for the others, I am sorry for your being burned and being cynical. But this is my final post. I will not start new trades regardless. All i wanted was to fix what went wrong. Seems traders take it all too seriously and tend to overreact...

I have no new list. what list did i allegedly post for a new trade?

I think this is getting off on the wrong foot.

Yes, I do think it is commendable you wanting to make right.

But, in the past, believe it or not, bad traders who come back wanting to make ammends, are acutally trusted VERY highly because the exact thought IS, well if they were a bad trader still they be around.

I don't want to misjudge you. And I appreciate you responding, and not flying off the handle.
Its a hard situation, on either end.

If you want to make right, I suggest making a post stating for them to contact you, and the email addres. And allow 30 days to make ammends.

Because I don't want people to take advantage of you either- which is a problem as well.
People feel vengful and they feel resentful and try to manipulate the person trying hard to make ammends, and that frustrates them more.
so believe it or not, I am protective FOR you as well as the group.

I edited my post, the list was previous- I emailed a personal apology for that - but will state it here as well.
I was wrong, I read through the posts too quickly and saw the February listing.

I was also wrong about the older user handle, there are 2, very similar names, so they both popped up under a search.

As far as things go- You were a very good trader, and things went bad- I understand that.
And your right, by using the same name, and posting what you did- comes acorss as very repsonsible and mature- and I apologize if I have come across as not acknowleding that.

As I stated, I have contacted everyone before posting. It was the people I truly lost track of like Lamont that i am glad contacted ME

and yes, I do understand that people arent always trustworthy, but believe me, in most the emails from the people i have regularly traded with in the past, they have all welcomed me back. I do intend to make amends before anything else. I have been nothing but honest in that. I asked for forgiveness and explained my absence. Those not so fogiving or willing to let me make right, I agree with them to be angry. In the hours since my rematerializing, I have already made amends with three people who i owed to. As I was gone, and i had family house sitting, they moved things around so they could house sit with their kids. I just need to locate the things that needed to be sent before my disappearance and send them out. Problem is i have a need for people's addresses so yes, this is a necessity for me. My online trading family has been great to me for years. I would hate to lose them over something like life challenges. But again, I blame myself. I didnt know the extent of my time gone would be this long or I would have planned better. Things are still in turmoil but I need to make this right for ME. I doubt cynical people will understand. It's just how I am. I make things right when I can....And believe me, I understand people wanting to manipulate but again, ive been at this for years, and most the people I owe i have traded with previously.
But really, this is getting out of hand. From this point on UNLESS i am attacked, it will remain private. Between the person I owe and if they so choose the moderator. So don't attack me publicly and we are good.

As I said I think I am being TOO cautious on this one.

Your right, you used the same name, and posted to make ammends. And yes there are people who take advantage of both those making ammends, as well as the bad traders.

Things spin out of our control, I just didn't and don't want this to become one of those.

Not all bad trades, make bad traders. And I of all people need to set the example that a second chance isn't always a bad thing, nor one to be suspicious of.
So please accept my apology for that.
As well, as I stated, I read the have post too quickly, and all lined up- they looked to be posted the same day.

I wish you good luck on the ammendments, and hope that the bad luck is all behind you and the future only brings good luck and good trades.

Okay. Just sitting from the peanut gallery I figured that I'd offer
a 3rd person point of view.

First of all, Cynnamin, Hopefully all of your personal issues and
needing to take time off is better now. As far as returning, welcome back
even if it is to make amends. Hopefully those that have had difficulties
previously will be able to resolve they're issues as a whole.

The one thing that it's apparant is that Savage is trying to protect the board
and the many things that occur. Yes, situations happen that cause people
to have to back out of deals. And that's the hard thing to deal with. But
also there have been so many people in the past that have said "Give me
one more chance" and then messed over other people. That it's difficult

It's easier to error on the side of caution than to accept people at face value. unfortunately that's the normal price to pay even when a situation
happens that's out of someones control.

Hopefully things will be able to be resolved in the future and then you'll
be able to make a decision as far as whether you're able to continue
trading. But for now, I do believe that SA had the right idea with being
very cautious and open with your "return"

Well I just want to say....it is HARD moderating ok.

It is really hard- I get reported posts every day, countless of them.
From small sitations like can I change my email and user ID.
To can I have so and so banned.
Bad traders like outlaw and like maples try really hard to get back on - Just out of spite. So there is IP checking.
There are simple rules like 3 new threads a day, that some users ignore.

There are no less than 15 emails a day asking me my advice on quality, a trade, a person.
And people who try to abuse that and snoop and try to weasle info out of me.

In this case I was too cautious, but in the lsat 4 months I have had legal problems with 2 users in particular. One whom was booted, and not to my choice or decision, who literally every day sends me 15 emails telling me off- And has restarted on accounts, after account to lure ME persoanlly into a trade.

I have had a user who was mad at another user, and therefore sent him a nasty postal package- and another user who seemed close to suicide after realizing a 100 disc trade he sent out, was all of coasters- and the other trader wouldn't cut him any slack.

And that is beside mediating situations and helping 2 people eith a quality check, as they were at each others throats, to which I chose, and at my cost send them both blank media, to wipe their slate clean.

And yeah I have things to do like running a house and a family to raise.
So it isn't that I mean to be judgemental or even too strict- It is just I get cautious - especially around the holidays. Some people act greedier at this time of year, just as much as some act regretful.

I have made my apologies, several times now to Cindy, but I won't apologize for being protective or cautious- because that is what caught a bad trader for the 7th time last Tueday. What banned 2 really bad traders last Friday- and what keeps the board up and going.

I promised to do my best, and my best isn't perfect.

In the spirit of just telling my side of my return, I failed to mention that while I messed up, there were those that took advantage of my absence as well. As a trading community, and being a trader for four years, we know that with time, it affords us a kind of a repore with someone when then feel comfortable and we send back and forth without asking for anything in return immediately. A kind of a credit system. We know we can count on them. I mentioned I messed up. That is apparent from yesterday's comments. It's not all on my side to be called a bad trader. Some so called good traders left me in the lurch and they and they alone know if they did wrong by me during my absence too. I won't be petty and post about the so called good traders who *I* have had experience with that were not so great. This is not the person I am. I prefer to think of all the good trades I have had and not overthing the bad trades. They must have kept their side of other obligations to maintain good trader status right?

I just wish the people that *I* traded with for years would speak up on my behalf. I mean, quite honestly, especially those that wronged me at the very least should. I won't "out" them as being unreliable. Quite the opposite. To me , a bad trader is one who receives your discs and doesnt intend to make good. I've only truly had three bad trades then. The rest have been slow on their end and I wound up compromising many discs to save MY OWN sanity. Packages that were supposedly sent with no tracking numbers never showing up. Or my sitting patiently as people take on new trades and completely leave me in the lurch until I remind them they owed me many many discs. I compromised all those times with all those trades. Discs that were bad that they refused to or made excuses why they couldnt fix it.

My personal favorite though is the ones that will call you a bad trader because they burned off discs and didnt send them and I didnt send my part so nothing exchanged and I am still the bad trader in all this. Unreliable perhaps. But we've all burned things that nothing exchanged hands and it went south. I have stacks of things (as of when i last traded months ago) that I burned off and they flaked. It is a risk we take as traders. That doesnt make us bad traders in my opinion unless they consistently do that. But it's apparent to me that they didnt do that to other traders. Quite the opposite. I didnt label them bad traders for my burning discs and they flaked on me. I just rolled with it.

I try to keep it fun. In honesty, I returned because I thought I needed my online trading community. Liek with life, we burn bridges and we need to mend them first. I know this. My life is still in turmoil and this has always been fun. What was it one trader said? It's like Christmas when I get my side of the trade in the mail.... I need glimmers of good days to keep my sane. I thought this would help....but it is apparent that more people will, as in life, step over a bleeding bosy than to offer to dial 911 for help. Maybe I'm cynical. Maybe all the people who would defend me havent materialized online. We all don;t live our lives by the computer. Apparent and driven home by my being gone for half a year. Maybe I will be welcomed back.

As of this writing, I've tried to make good on any trades that I thought I owed and of those that owed me, only ONE admitted to OWING ME, and really I don't care to dredge it up. I told her I am not actively trading and she still insists on sending me something. I told her it's her choice. I ask for nothing until my obligations to the people I owed in the past are fulfilled. Another claims to not remember and to want to start over after I was out many many discs from his discs not working and we go from there. I am all for that. *I* would rather keep a friend in the trading community than to make him make good on the whole series I got from him that went bad and needed redo's.
Another trader, I was his first trade ever. He remains the only person who made me feel welcome back. He knew something bad happened and kept his faith in me. If only more people can.

In all the people complaining, I'm betting not the many that owe me spoke up anyways. That would incriminate them as unreliable or set them up in most people's eyes as bad traders. Something we all don't want to face. But once again, I won't "out" someone. Coming from me, and my history with some of these people it would just look petty. That I am trying to make others look bad to make me look good.

No, I just ask that if we traded before and if we had a good repore, that you post. If I owed you stuff, and you still know I am reliable, please post that too. So far all people heard is in 4 years of trading I screwed up. How about the people who still believe in me speak up a bit?

Well I will say for the record, that Cindy has contacted me and offered to make things right. This situation goes back almost a year, and I have been able to contact her until now, b/c emails and letters came back. She has offered to send me an equal # of discs that she owed me. She states it will take about a week to get it done, So I am willing to give her that time to make it right. If I do receive the discs and they are all inworking order, I will gladly post that all is well. TRUST ME, i would MUCH MUCH MUCH rather have the discs and have it resolved nicely as I hate more than anything to post about another trader when its not nice.

Thanks, and keep your eyes open for an update next week.

I will agree with many things that you have said. And take nothing that
I have said as a personal attack. I am all for 2nd chances myself. As long
as the wronged parties previously have started to get fixed.

As far as some of the trades that you have been "blamed" for, I will agree
that someone getting bent out of shape after burning discs and then
not truly losing them is not truly misconduct on your part. To me if money
has changed hands or one side of the discs has changed hands. Then it
becomes a problem.

There really is no need for me personally to see people who have traded
with you start to sing your praises. mostly because as I've said, I'm
for second chances in my life as well as others. The defense I offered
was that not everyone will have an open mind as far as 2nd chances and
it is they're right to do that without personal attacks that they "should be
forgiving".

There is a very old addage that I truly believe in. Forgive but never
forget.

The banned list isn't something that is easily to be put on. It isn't a one strike and you're out type of list. it's a continual listing that says
that there has been more than wrong problem. The powers that be make
the decision on who gets put on and who gets taken off. And it is they're
right to be put people on there. The same as the good trader list.

On a personal note

I have seen Savage at work. And she is one of the hardest working moderators on this board as well as others. And I know that she has a
lot of people that trust her and her judgement. She has never said that
you are not being geniuine in your hopes to get back into the good graces
of the trading group. She has asked that people be cautious and that
you continue to work on fixing the errors from previously before you
consider starting to trade again. Regardless of whether there have been
1000 good trades. 5 bad trades make they're mark. (I do not know if it's 5 or 2 or 10 or however many).

As far as other who owe you. Your right that some would find that petty
but to me, but the odds are that if the bad trader list is scanned they
are already listed on there in one way or the other. 1/2 of a year brings
about a lot of people to get caught with they're hand in the cookie jar.

For me, I give you the benefit of the doubt but also try to be vigilant.
When you're prepared to trade again. I will be the one of the first to
look at your want list and have list and see if there is a match. And if
things go well, I will be on of your supporters for your repairing of the bridge.
But it will take time and patience in your part. And it will be aggrivating
at times when that trust is not automatically offered.

All families have they're problems, but many times they can be fixed in
due time. And this is no different as long as there is a true attempt to
change and to try to fix what has happened previously

--------------------

Be Good, Be Bad, never Be boring

As I posted in another thread. I believe Cyn is genuine in her attempts to make good. I first heard that she was back when she replied to and email I sent out many months ago. She explained why she had not been able to reply and that she wanted to make good. At no time did I ever threaten her with any type of recourse that would have made it necessary for her to contact me. I think the fact that she returned and is making efforts to catch up is good enough for me.

On a Yahoo forum about 4 weeks ago a post was sent asking about Cyn and the overwhelming responses to the posts were ... she was a great trader but all of a sudden just dissapeared ... there were no flame attacks or people claiming to be ripped off... it seemed people were more interested in what happened to her and if anyone had heard from her.

I know Cyn will come through for the people that she owes replacements to. I for one am glad she is back because she was/will be a great trader.

Welcome back Cyn

party:

Cheers
Jay:lol:

your words of confidence make me very happy. When i returned to the yahoo forums it was rather touching. I started on the yahoo groups and I guess with the bittersweet welcome here, I didnt know what to expect with the return to yahoo. I am glad some people still believe in me and others are willing to give me a chance. I don't know if others have just not checked in on this forum, but I am relatively sure that others will be posting either good or bad. It just makes me happy that someone believes in me. :)

This is SO great to hear.

As well I have seen her post on another board of mine as well as some popualr Yahoo groups.

When there are SO many bad traders out there, and people who skulk back here for bad reasons, I am delighted to say I was way too cautious- and give my full respect for comign back to make ammends.
Lamont, thank you for the update.

And Cindy, let me know if I can be of any help- I don't want anyone taking advantage of your valiant effort.

~Savage

I am puttering along and have mailed a couple of packages out as of Monday so hopefully the recipients will receive their discs soon and will post something on here...whether good or bad.
I am not trying to hide my actions. Quite the opposite. I have sent out Lamont and Melodee's discs on Monday. They should (I hope) get the discs soon and be able to post something (again, I hope)

I have quite a few more people to catch up with since as of when i disappeared, we had arranged for different things to be traded and since life doesn't stand still just because *I* went away, the people asked for something different in place of stuff I had burned off. I also have yet to locate some of the discs from some previous trades (when I left, long boring story short, my family packed up anything they deemed un-kid-friendly like my WHOLE trade area so their kids could use the pc while I was away), so if that doesnt happen for me by the time I finish the next person up, Steve C (which I burned off a bunch of stuff previously and he wants all dif things since time does not stand still and he has what I had previously burned).... I will reburn the discs I owe Hank P. and Jay D.

If I forgot anyone from previous trades, please let me know. These are just the people that have contacted me...

If no one else contacts me, then I will assume all my previous obligations are met but, still, will be around for anyone I forgot.

I should have Steve's discs out next week, and will continue to search for Hank and Jay's discs. If not I will just go ahead and reburn them and mail them out with Steve's discs.

...that's my update for the gang. Didn't want the non-activity to be an implication I disappeared again.

So great to hear this-

Thank you for being an example, that even if thigns go awry resolutions can be made.

Happy Holidays