The Cast: DE DE as Donna
Tracy Prinze as Aunt Esther
Jennylee as Willa
ED Brown Jr. as Fred G. Sanford
JunkDealer as Bubba

The rest will be added later this is open door casting "calling all actors and actresses" Please join us!!

Now the show begins




[This message has been edited by DeDe (edited 05-29-2001).]

Donna: hello esther, will you be staying for dinner? I cooked a lot of food and I will be happy to set another plate.

Aunt Esther: I don't mind having dinner with you and my favorite nephew Lamont, but I refuse to sit at the table with that sinner
Fred Sanford.

Lord help this sinner,
HAVE MERCY

JennyLee will be playing Willa (A neighbor) - Willa: (Knocking on the door) Hi Esther can I come in?

Aunt Esther: Hi Willa, are you here to see fred or lamont?

Willa: I'm here to see Lamont. Cough Cough - Hey theres alot of dust here. How can you 2 eat here?

Aunt Esther: I've been telling that heathen Fred to dust this place. Well Willa, you come on in baby.

Donna: Willa come on in honey and join us, the dust is not that bad, once you taste my fried chicken and apple pie, you will forget all about the dust.

Willa: I came to see lucious Lamont (even though he has bird legs - LOL) I miss him terribly. Is he with his father again? Those 2 never seem to separate.

Aunt Esther: It isn't Lamont's fault honey,
it's his fish eye fool father's fault,

Lamont took after my side of the family, my sister Elizabeth was a Saint.

Halleglory, Lord bless that sinner Fred.

Let me hold on to my good book in this house.

Willa: Aunt Esther will you take Fred Sanford to church with you? He needs alot of prayers...... By the way the chicken is delicious (cough cough). Who cooked it?

I wont go to church you old hag so why dont you make like a tree and leave. Oh Elizabeth, Elizabeth i comin to join you cause these people wont give me peace.

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GET OUT OF MY GARAGE!!!

Aunt Esther: (swinging her purse) Who you calling an old hag, you beedie eyed fool. Fred, don't act ugly in front of our guest Willa. I'll take my purse and knock you into the middle of next year.

Donna: Stop it you two,show our guest some respect. Willa honey I cooked the chicken with special seasoning and thank you. Willa, do you have any room for dessert?

Willa: I always (cough) leave room for (achoo) dessert..... Fred - Where's your son Lamont? He didn't come for dinner.... http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/frown.gif

Aunt Esther: Lamont is out somewhere with that no good Rollo.

Willa honey, I hope you know if you and Lamont get married, you will have a stubborn ole' fool for a father-in-law.

Halleglory

Willa: Aunt Esther I could never marry Lamont. He's too close to his father. Fred would try anything for me not to get married to Lamont. (sniff). Hey what's this? (Willa is pointing to an old toilet bowl) Is Fred Sanford using that? What a disgusting pig he is? He has it right smack in the middle of the living room. Aunt Esther I'm ready to throw up! SPLAT!! http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/tongue.gif http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/tongue.gif http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/tongue.gif

Aunt Esther: Fred, you have this toilet bowl in the middle of the floor and It is making Willa sick. you are a lazy heathen. My sister Elizabeth is probably crying her heart out over you. why don't you clean up this mess, you fish-eyed fool.

Willa, let Donna check you out because she's a nurse but I don't know if she's any good or not but it beats nothing.

Willa: Aunt Esther I can't breath I think I'm getting an asthma attack right in the middle of the (cough) living room. "HELP".

JennyLee will play the role of Lamont until a man steps into the role.

Lamont: Aunt Esther What is happening here? Willa is on the floor having trouble breathing. Pop where are you?

Aunt Esther: Willa that is not dust making you sick, that is ALL the sin in this house,
that's the evil work of Fred G. Sanford.

The "G" stands for going down below.

I'm going to call the sisters from the church to come over and pray over this house.

Yes Lord!

Lamont: POP Do something! Aunt Esther says there's too much sin in this house. We're going to have to clean up all this dust. (Lamont puts Willa on the sofa)

Lamont: Willa lie down here (A big cloud of dust looms overhead)

Willa: Cough......Cough....... Sneeze...... Oh La La Lamont. Thank you for helping me. You're so good to me.

Lamont: Oh Willa you know I'll do anything for you........

Willa: Aunt Esther when are the sisters coming?

Hey lady stop sneezing allover everyone you old hag.

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GET OUT OF MY GARAGE!!!

{There is a knock on the door and the door opens. Bubba walks in and the crowd cheers}

Bubba: Hey Fred!

Donna: Hello Bubba, come on in, are you hungry dear? I cooked so much food but as you can see no one is really eating. Poor Willa is not feeling well. Would you like for me to fix you a plate?

Aunt Esther: Don't you worry Willa because I just called the sisters from the church and they'll be over here in a little while to pray over the sin in this house. Fred, I have an extra Bible for YOU, so you can help us pray, you ole' heathen. Lord knows you need all the prayers you can get. Praise the Lord!

Aunt Esther: Lamont and Willa, you make such a lovely couple. I never seen my favorite nephew so happy. Willa, has Lamont showed you any pictures of my beloved sister Elizabeth?

Willa: No Aunt Esther I've never seen pictures of Elizabeth. Was she purdy?

Lamont: Yes she was Willa....... She looked alot like you.

Willa: Oh Lamont you like me. You really really like me!

Lamont: Aunt Esther! Show Willa the pictures. Bubba sit down here in the toilet bowl. That's all the chairs we have right at the moment. Would you like a Pina Colada?

Willa: Fred! If you don't want me here I'll just leave! I can't help it if I cough. If you would clean up this place I wouldn't get so sick.

Yes Bubba???

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GET OUT OF MY GARAGE!!!

Donna: Where's Woodrow tonight Esther? Will you like for me to wrap up a plate for him?

Lamont: You can wrap a plate around my Pops head.. He deserves it. - Bubba Here's your Pina Colada. - Willa baby Do you need a hankie?

Willa: ACHOO! Yes La La Lamont. Achoo......

Lamont: Pops we've got to do something.... People are getting sick. Look at Aunt Esther she fainted!

Aunt Esther: Thank ya Lamont for fanning me, I fainted because ALL of the evil in this house. Oh Lord! Help me Lord to pray over this house, the sisters are on their way.

Aunt Esther: Fred, what was that you just called me?

I called you an old hag you old bat!!! Shut up dummy!!!

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GET OUT OF MY GARAGE!!!

Lamont: Pops! I've had enough! Our guest don't deserve the cruelty that you are imposing on them! They're not animals! They're not in cages trapped in a zoo! Enough is enough........

Lamont is grabbing a suitcase.........

Willa: Lamont What are you doing?

Lamont: I'm packing! I'm out of here.....

Willa: Fred Sanford! Do somthing....... Your only son is leaving. He's leaving this grand, dusty home.... Cough!

Aunt Esther: Fred, watch it sucka.

Aunt Esther: (a knock at the door and Donna answered the door) Oh Praise the Lord the sisters are here.

(Five women walks in and singing "Glory Glory Hallelujah)

Aunt Esther: Fred takes your hands off your ears because you are gonna hear what the Lord has to say, come sisters let's sing it louder.

Aunt Esther: Lamont everything is all right now, your just upset because Fred is got all this evil in this house and working my blood pressure. Willa Just kneel down and pray.

Willa: Glory be Hallelujah....... Ave Maria........... Glory be Hallelujah...

Lamont: "Pops" Listen to the choir. They sound wonderful... Hallelujah, Hallelujah!

The Choir: Glory be Hallelujah, Glory be Hallelujah! Cough! Cough! Ha Ha Hachoo! http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/frown.gif Hallelujah!

Lamont: "Pops" The choir is getting sick.......... Do something!

Donna: Oh, Lamont dear they are not getting sick, that's just the spirit of goodness flowning, after all I am a nurse, and I know sickness when I sick.

(whispers to willa)

Donna: Thanks right keep praying dear, so that way you will be on Esther's good side.

Bubba: Fred I'm leaving! There too much religion in this house......

Lamont: You can go Bubba....... No one wants you here anyway! While you're there take Pops with you.

Willa: Oh Lordy be...... Oh Lordy be.......

Lamont: Anyone want a Pina Colada? http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

Bubba: Whats Lemonts problem Fred?

Lamont: The problem is apparent isn't it Bubba?

Lamont maybe my son but he is a dummy he cant think straight.

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GET OUT OF MY GARAGE!!!

Aunt Esther: Fred, don't call my favorite nephew a dummy, you ole' beedie-eyed fool. I am so glad that I called the sisters from the church to come and pray over this house, you have poor Willa over here, scared straight, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Come on sisters let's pray some more. Hallelujah!

Aunt Esther: Lamont, do you want to move with me and your Uncle Woodrow?

Lamont: I can't move Aunt Esther. Someone has to take care of my Pop. No woman will have him.

Willa: Sisters Pray for me because I will be leaving Lamont!!! He can stay with his POP!

Lamont: Willa..... Please stay! Pop needs me.

Willa: Hmmph!

Lamont: Pop! Look what you've done now! You are to blame for everything that goes on in this house.

Donna: Okay now this is enough, I have cooked a nice dinner here, and we have guest, folks singing and praying all over the place, can't we just sit here and eat, and enjoy each others company? Esther can you tell your sisters to either join us for dinner, shut up, or just leave. I am tired of you picking on my poor Fred.

Lamont: Donna! You sure cook good too! Whats for dinner?

While Lamont is talking to Donna - Willa opens the door and leaves.......

Donna: Thank you Lamont sweetie for the compliment, that's the nicest thing I have heard all night. I'm so upset, I can't remember what I cooked just eat. See what you have done Esther, you ran Willa away.

Lamont: Don't worry Aunt Esther, Willa is just so sensitive. She'll be back. Pops! Sit down at the dinner table and eat the food that Donna has cooked. Bubba have a seat. The food sure smells good. Aunt Esther! sit here. I'll just sit in the toilet bowl. There that's good. We have enough seats for everybody. Right Pop! Hey wait a minute let me help Donna serve the food. http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

Donna: You know what we need is a vacation away from here. I was thinking Fred, I have some time off from the Hospital, so how about a trip to Las Vegas?

Aunt Esther: Las Vegas??? sin city??? Oh Lord that place is no good, all that gambling. I could use that money for my church it don't make no sense to throw away money like that. Sisters thank you for coming over here, I have to stay and pray for these sinners. (sisters are leaving)

Aunt Esther: I have to go to Las Vegas and watch over and pray for you sinners. Lamont baby and Willa, I'm holy and cannot gamble, so I'm going to give you some money to place a bet for me because mama needs a new pair of shoes. (LOL)

Lamont: Aunt Esther (Lamont grabs the money from underneath the table) You say #7 is lucky? Pops are we going gambling or what? Ummmmm. Donna this fried chicken is delicious and this corn bread can't be beat!

Fred: Look dummy!!!!! You aint swift enough to do any gambling. And who said that you were going anyway. It is just gonna be me and my beloved Donna. You aint going 2 steps with me. And Esther don't you say a word to me. You old bag of .....ohhhhh oooh !!!!

i'm sorry. i don't mean to be too depressing, but honestly, i wish i had died back when this series was originally aired. it was a great show, full of happiness and love. although fred and lamont argued, you could tell they really loved each other. if you are reading this, maybe your life has been much better / happier than mine. i hope it really has. i dedicated my life to trying to help others, being as nice as possible to everyone. doing whatever good i could, trying to help make the world just a little better / little happier place. i thought if i could just help one persons day to be happy, or influence anyone in a posiitive manner, life would be meaningful -
"god" would "smile on me" or bless me in some small way. maybe if i helped enough people, even i could have a happy life. i guess not. oh well. i wish i had died back then.

Me to. Alot of times I wish I was'nt alive too ! http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/smile.gif Between work and my idiot "relatives" the insaine asylum looks like a nice, relaxing place ! http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/smile.gif Being sedated with few worries would be GREAT ! http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/dizzy.gif Hope things get better for ya' "Just-mem" ! http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/smile.gif

It'll be ok Just-Mem ! Just watch Sanford and Son on video, drink much chocolate milk, and take plenty of naps. http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/smile.gif