This may sound kind of strange, but does anyone know the words to all the verses of the song that the MASH personnel sing in the episode where they are all in the tent watching the gungfight at the OK Corral movie?

Klinger's verse says something about "if the army is so terrific, howcome I wear a dress?"
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and Frank stands up and says "I'd like to take a scalpel and stab them in the heart."

Any help would be appreciated.

Isn't it " gee,mom i wanna go home' i think its a real song that the characters ad -libbed to.

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CCRYDER1968

Charybdis,
I'm not 100% sure of every word here, but this is pretty darn close:

[Not necessarily in this exact order.]

Fr. Mulcahy: "A chaplain in the army wears a collar on his neck; if you don't listen to him, you'll all wind up in Heck."
All: "Oh, I don't want no more of army life; Gee mom, I wanna go home."

Hawkeye & BJ: "Surgeons in the army -- they say are really bright; we work on soldiers through the day and nurses through the night."
All: "Oh, I don't want no more of army life; Gee mom, I wanna go home."

[I'm not 100% sure of the following verse]:

Visiting nurses in dress uniforms near the rear of the tent: "The surgeons in the army -- they think they are profound; but, we'll take chopper pilots -- they'll get you off the ground."
All: "Oh, I don't want no more of army life; Gee mom, I wanna go home."

Radar: "Corporals in the army -- they say we're pretty green; but, if it weren't for us guys, you'd be in the latrine."
All: "Oh, I don't want no more of army life; Gee mom, I wanna go home."

Margaret: Some nurses in the army -- they haven't tied the knot; but, this one's gonna try it with Donald Penobscot."
All: "Oh, I don't want no more of army life; Gee mom, I wanna go home."

Col. Potter: "Friendships in the army -- they say are mighty rare; so, I spend all my free time carousing with my mare."
All: "Oh, I don't want no more of army life; Gee mom, I wanna go home."

Klinger: "Oh, some guys like the army, I think that it's a mess; if it's so damned terrific, how come I wear a dress?"
All: "Oh, I don't want no more of army life; Gee mom, I wanna go . . . but they won't let me go . . . gee mom, I wanna go home."

Then, after the song concludes, Frank Burns stands up and chimes in with: "Old Hawkeye and old BJ -- they think they're pretty smart; I'd like to take a scalpel and stab them in the heart. Oh, I don't want no more of army life; (slowly realizing that no one else is singing and sitting back down) "Gee mom . . . "

Later,
Art

Charybdis,
This song, apparently entitled "Gee, Mom, I Wanna Go Home," seems to have originated during World War II, and has been sung through the years by countless armies, girl scout camps, boy scout camps, etc., who made up their own verses to fit their particular situations.
The original lyrics, which can be found on the internet, are quite amusing!

Later,
Art