Is Brit and K. Fed's 'Chaotic' Idiotic?

Has Britney committed 'career suicide'? Plus, oodles of romance news, Kylie's man stands by her side, and more ...


May 19, 2005

Is your skin raw from repeated attempts to scrub yourself out of the shame spiral brought on by watching "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic"? Well, take comfort, y'all -- you're not alone.

Critics, apparently unable to handle the truth according to the Federlines, have delivered an evisceration of the shaky, flaky reality series not seen since the debut of "Hello, Larry."

Seems they were unimpressed by Britney's unparalleled talent for making goofy pig faces and tossing off such bon mots as, "Our sex is so good -- ecstasy, ecstasy, ecstasy," and, "They look like boobs, but they're not. They're my knees."

Not even Kevin's deep thoughts on marriage ("I don't believe in it") or the video evidence that the greasy ex-dancer does, in fact, bathe could win them over.

Here are some of the critical lowlights:

Variety: "A self-indulgent, mindless piece of drivel ... a visual assault of nauseating camera angles, likely to upset even the most desensitized TV viewer ... It makes Jessica and Nick look like Mensa candidates."

The Washington Post: "There's no danger of anyone ever dumbing it down. A dumber downer would potentially be lethal. It would have to be buried in lead for 10,000 years, like nuclear waste ... An execrable mess by absolutely any standard, though of course these days the idea of standards is just all too uncool. It was America's crummiest home video."

Entertainment Weekly: "Career suicide by videocam ... The truth is not only that she's vapid, but that she's self-obsessed to a dangerous degree."

The Hollywood Reporter: "Spears comes across like a party-hearty college girl with her shaky-cam, finger-up-her-nose, close-up-of-her-pores, leering video snippets."

The Boston Globe: "It's just a tedious public exercise in self-importance and striptease."

Television Without Pity: "The show is like an extremely boring car crash: It sucks and really nothing at all happens in the end, but nevertheless you can't look away -- the only true entertainment value being the constant and very real threat that at any minute either of Britney's gigantic bodyguards might kick the [bleep] out of K. Fed, whom they obviously hate."

Yee-ouch. Viewers seemed to agree with the brutal assessments: "Chaotic" finished dead last in its time slot.

In addition to hitting a new low for primetime programming this week, Britney also posted a new Letter of Truth in which she raves about their "amazing trip" to Las Vegas ("It's like Disney World for adults").

She says she's now "glad to be back home," even if home is her under-renovation Malibu mansion. "Kevin thinks everyone will work faster if we stay at the house," Spears writes on her Web site. "All the construction is really loud in the morning, but I feel he may be right." (And really, is there anything more soothing to a pregnant woman than being woken up by some gentle hammering?)

The Kabbalah-loving pop tartlet also reveals she's "thinking of different ideas for the prayer and meditation room," none of which we're betting involve its ultimate use -- storage.

Concludes Britney, "Everything is going so well lately -- it literally brings me to my knees." And no, we're not going anywhere near that one.

** hanging head in complete shame ***

I actually tuned in to this piece of s*%& for about 20 minutes the other night. I had the exact same thoughts as the critics, and wondered aloud whether it was some sort of sick joke! It makes Paris Hilton's video and camera phone boob shots look professional.

For anyone thinking that Britney was ready to have a baby of her own, just tune into this thing for even 5 minutes. I dare - I double dog dare you to come back and honestly be able to post that you still believe she should be reproducing at this point in her life - and especially with the greaseball, gold digging, sperm-machine she married!

It wouldn't surprise me if they film the delivery and she'll have a Marlboro dangling out of her mouth! :rolleyes:

I use to be a fan of Britney's when she first starting making albums. But now..ugh! I cannot stand her or her what's-his-face husband. Why would she even marry him? She would be better of with Justin. I don't even like Kevin. Guys like him who think that they're black and stuff like that just make me so mad. I'm glad I never watched that show, and I never will!

I knew it would suck, and therefore didn't watch it.

I knew it would suck, and therefore didn't watch it.


Same here. I didn't even bother watching.

me too it looked boring

I just hope Britney and Kevin will get the message and move to Iceland, where we will never hear of them again.

I won't give up Britney! I promised! I love her, and she's still a great singer. I understand. I have all of her albums, a DVD of "Crossroads" and three of her specials on VHS like "Time Out With Britney Spears", "Britney Live & More" and "Britney: The Videos" along with two specials I copied off of cable. One from Las Vergas, the other concert from Miami and finally a concert with Joey MacIntyre from Disney/MGM Studios. I remember Britney when she was guest starred on the "Famous Jett Jackson" in a Halloween episode. Low and behold, I :heart: Britney!

Yes... they are both idiots. :p Perfect show for them. :lol:

I won't give up Britney! I promised! I love her, and she's still a great singer. I understand. I have all of her albums, a DVD of "Crossroads" and three of her specials on VHS like "Time Out With Britney Spears", "Britney Live & More" and "Britney: The Videos" along with two specials I copied off of cable. One from Las Vergas, the other concert from Miami and finally a concert with Joey MacIntyre from Disney/MGM Studios. I remember Britney when she was guest starred on the "Famous Jett Jackson" in a Halloween episode. Low and behold, I :heart: Britney!

You need help. ;)

I won't give up Britney! I promised! I love her, and she's still a great singer. I understand. I have all of her albums, a DVD of "Crossroads" and three of her specials on VHS like "Time Out With Britney Spears", "Britney Live & More" and "Britney: The Videos" along with two specials I copied off of cable. One from Las Vergas, the other concert from Miami and finally a concert with Joey MacIntyre from Disney/MGM Studios. I remember Britney when she was guest starred on the "Famous Jett Jackson" in a Halloween episode. Low and behold, I :heart: Britney!

It's not that serious.

I think no one will watch these two anyway.
BTW: Forget Chaotic because this show is like serving a burnt chicken-fried steak at a dinner party. Get this show out of here, please and...http://www.lighthousestore.org/stamp_images/stock_stamps/168.jpg
NO MORE FAKE REALITY SHOWS:
Return To Sender

I never realized until the past year how badly this girl needs help. She was at one time someone who looked like she had some kind of class and chose your companions that worth something (and I dont mean money) and had potential. Now she looks like crazy southern trash that rednecks jokes are made about. I am a southern and from Louisiana, and most people here that are out of the tween stage think she is an embaressment.
Her dress, character, style, and image have all deteriated since she hooked up with a bum. Glad she is the bread winner, since this man is probably going to leave her with the kid(s) when the (I believe) 3 years of marriage are reached and he does not have a stiff pre-nup hanging over his head and can get his hands on her money. Doesnt he have children from that chic on the Moesha show that he doesnt care or pay for?
Chaotic what a great name for a show, her career is chaotic, as well as her choice of men. She wants so badly to be the next Madonna but no one can be as shocking since its already been done before. She cannot even get her religious views correct, she chose study Kabala (?) cause her "idol" Madonna is heavily into it. Nothing she does is a shocker but a pathetic cry for her attempt to stay in the spotlight since her singing career is obviously fading out from under her, her true love Justin has moved on to bigger and better things in his life, and her lies about her innocence are catching up to her.
She is the real life Beverly Hillbilly!

That show gives me a headache. Who gives Britney Spears a video camera?

I never realized until the past year how badly this girl needs help. She was at one time someone who looked like she had some kind of class and chose your companions that worth something (and I dont mean money) and had potential. Now she looks like crazy southern trash that rednecks jokes are made about. I am a southern and from Louisiana, and most people here that are out of the tween stage think she is an embaressment.
Her dress, character, style, and image have all deteriated since she hooked up with a bum. Glad she is the bread winner, since this man is probably going to leave her with the kid(s) when the (I believe) 3 years of marriage are reached and he does not have a stiff pre-nup hanging over his head and can get his hands on her money. Doesnt he have children from that chic on the Moesha show that he doesnt care or pay for?
Chaotic what a great name for a show, her career is chaotic, as well as her choice of men. She wants so badly to be the next Madonna but no one can be as shocking since its already been done before. She cannot even get her religious views correct, she chose study Kabala (?) cause her "idol" Madonna is heavily into it. Nothing she does is a shocker but a pathetic cry for her attempt to stay in the spotlight since her singing career is obviously fading out from under her, her true love Justin has moved on to bigger and better things in his life, and her lies about her innocence are catching up to her.
She is the real life Beverly Hillbilly!

You've got that right! Any of the concert clips in the show that I saw, she's pathetically trying to copy everything Madonna ever did. Hasn't she just heard about Madonna even admitting that she went too far with the sexy image? They think those videos will be great for their children to see. That kid (or kids should they breed more, and with his track record, I won't be surprised if they're back to back), is going to be having so much trouble at school with kids teasing him/her.
She's gone right off her rocker.
And she isn't all that talented anyway - she couldn't even win Star Search for God sakes! :rolleyes:
Trailer trash and nothing more......