I like this one!

dorothy: Shady Pines Ma...

Sophia: Coming

(Rose goes to talk to Blance)

Dorothy: Shady Pines Rose.

Rose: This shouln't really work on me.

LOL Theres ton more cool quoteswhats your fav?

I don;t have a favorite qoute, but i do have a favorite scene. Here is teh bedroom talk that the girls have about Jean falling in love with Rose (approximate wording)

DOROTHY: Ma, How would you react if you were told that one of your kids was gay?
SOPHIA: I know you don't get that much dates, but stick with what you know. At your age, it's hard to try something new
DOROTHY: No Ma, I'm not gay. I just wanted to get your reaction
SOPHIA: Well, if one of my kids was gay, I wouldn't love him one bit less. I would wish him all the happiness in the world
DOROTHY: Because you're the greatest mother in the world
SOPHIA: Thank you. Now shut your big fat lip so I can get some sleep!
DOROTHY: Jean thinks she's in love with Rose
(Sophia Starts cracking up) Ma, that is not funny!
SOPHIA: The hell it's not. Jean in love with Little Miss Muffet? Come on!
(They both start laughing. Blanche walks in)
BLANCHE: What's going on in here?
SOPHIA and DOROTHY: Nothing
BLANCHE: I heard you two laughing. What's up?
SOPHIA: Well, for starters, Jean is a lesbian
BLANCHE: What's so funny about that?
SOPHIA: Aren't you surprised?
BLANCHE: No, why shouldn't I be? Isn't Danny Thomas one?
DOROTHY: Not LEBANESE, Blanche. LESBIAN
BLANCHE: Lesbian...Lesbian....LESBIAN! Isn;t that where one woman goes with...
DOROTHY: WE already know what it means
BLANCHE: But, Jean's a very attractive woman, she could have any man she wants
DOROTHY: But she doesn't want them
BLANCHE: But, a man has so much more to offer, you know what I mean?
DOROTHY: You know, that was the case with Mark Purper (or someone) when he was running for class president back in the third grade
BLANCHE: What does that have to do with anything?
DOROTHY: His slogan was "vote for me and I'll show you my wee-wee". He won by a landslide!
BLANCHE: I'll say if Jean like someone of the smae sex than it's alright by me...
DOROTHY: There's one more thing
SOPHIA: Jean thinks she's in love with Rose!
BLANCHE: YOu mean, Jean has the hots for ROSE! I don't Believe it! I just don't believe it!
DOROTHY: WE were surprised also
BLANCHE: I'll bet! To think she picked Rose over Me? Come on!
DOROTHY: BLanche, Please!
BLANCHE: THink about it, if you were gay, who would you choose, huh?!
DOROTHY: Blanche, pull yourself together!
BLANCHE: Oh, I'm so sorry. Does Rose know?
DOROTHY: No she doesn't
BLANCHE: Good, I don;t think we oughta tell her. After all, she's not as worldly and sophisticated about these things as I am.
SOPHIA: You tell her Danny Thomas is a lesbian, It'll break her heart.

Oh, there's just so many. Here's one I've been liking lately:
DOROTHY: Ma, did you sleep with Tony DelVeccio?
SOPHIA: A little.
DOROTHY: Why would you do that?
SOPHIA: Blanche told me to.
DOROTHY: If Gladys Golfine told you to drink a whole bottle of Kayopectate, would you?
SOPHIA: Who blabbed?

I love when Blanche comes in as Dorothy & Sophia are dressed as Sonny and Cher and says:
"Oh you two could be celebrity lookalikes! So which one's Cheech and which one's Chong?"

In the same episode, after returning from the Shady Pines talent contest:
SOPHIA: The important thing is that we beat Gladys Golfine.
DOROTHY: Yeah, old age is finally starting to take its toll on her. For the talent section she wanted to sing a medley from "The Fantastiks". She started with "Try to Remember" and...she couldn't.

There are so many:

Excerpt from: The Housekeeper (10/17/87)

Sophia: So what's all this crap about you putting a curse on my daughter?
Blanche: Sophia!
Dorothy: We're all gonna be turned into cumquats.
Marguerite: What is she talking about?
Sophia: Don't play dumb with me, I've been known to cast a curse myself. Do you think Shelley Long was really tired of playing in Cheers? Wrong baby, I was tired of her!
Marguerite: Is that what this is all about. You think I put a curse on you.
Blanche: Well it's true, You got mad at us for firing you so you reversed that love potion you gave me.
Marguerite: Honey, that wasn't love potion, that was Chanelle Number 5.
Rose: I'm not buying that, Dorothy uses Chanelle No. 5 all the time and she never attracts men.

One of my other favorites is a story that Sophia tells in the episode Before and After:

Sophia: 90-year old twins, (I forgot their names), sitting on a park bench. One of them asks the other, What ever happened to that streaking craze? and the other asks, What streaking craze? and the other says you know where you take off you clothes and run down the street. The other says, hey that sounds like fun, I think I'll do that right know. So 90 years old he takes off his clothes and takes off down the street running right past these two old ladies, Carlotta and Maria. Maria turns to Carlotta and says, What the hell was that? and Carlotta says, I don't know but whatever it was, it sure needs ironing.

The bad thing is Lifetime cuts this out of Before and After.

Eh, any number of them crack me up...I'll just leave my siggie.

**Gracie**

------------------
Delivery guy: "Blanche Deverux?"
Dorothy: "That's Devereaux...it's only pronounced the other way in limericks."
~~~~~~~~~~
Sophia: "Let me tell you girls the three most important things I learned about life: number one, hold fast to your friends; number two, there's no such thing as security; and number three, don't go see "Ishtar." Woof!"
~~~~~~~~~~
Dorothy: "You'll have to excuse my mother, she recently had a stroke rendering her totally annoying."
~~~~~~~~~~
Sophia: "Sticks and stones may brake your bones, but cement pays homage to tradition!"
~~~~~~~~~~
Sophia: "I think im pregnant."
Dorothy: "What happened, the rabbit died laughing?"
~~~~~~~~~~
Rose: "Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?"
Sophia: "Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and its starting to get on my nerves."

I really love this schene between Dorothy and Sophia!

(Doorbell rings)

Sophia: Hello, is this 5161 Richmond Street?
Dorothy: Ma!
Sophia: Oh Dorothy, it's you! I lost my glasses at the mall and coudn't find my way home!
Dorothy: Well why didn't you just call?
Sophia: I tried, but whenever i put in a dime into the phone, a condom popped out!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
There are so many more I can name, but not enough time. Gotta go!!!

oh there are bunches..one I particualarly like that I saw today is this scene:
Sohpia: This could be my shot at getting into the Bible!
Dorothy: Ma, the Bible is a DONE DEAL!


I also like Dorothy: I'm sorry Stanley but there are other vetetables I'd rather go out with.

Oh there are so many.

I like Dorothy's discription of the Pope's ring as "A ring so steeped in history and tradition it makes even you [Sophia] look middle-aged!"

I also like:
Sophia:I'm in pain!
Dorothy:What kind?
Sophia:The kind that hurts!

I could keep going LOL there are SO many!

Kristen

o! I forgot one that I REALLY like!
Sohpia: Dorothy, I can't breathe!
Dorothy: not now Ma......Alright, but this better be good!

I've been liking this one lately

Sophia starts to cough really badly.

Sophia: (coughing)
Rose: Do you me to get you a glass of water Sophia?
Dorothy: No Rose, I want you to sit there and watch my mother hack herself to death.
Rose: Are you sure?
Dorothy: GET THE WATER ROSE!!!

CharlotteRaeFan, your quote reminded me of this one! Thanks!:clap:

I don't remember it exactly, but here it goes....


Sophia: "Hey PaPfieffer, how would you like a punch in your paface!!!"