Family Ties Forever!
03-12-2005, 12:45 AM
I Know Jennifer's Boyfriend
Scene I:
Kitchen: Alex is sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. Jennifer and her friend Justin enter the kitchen through the swinging door. They're carrying newspapers. They sit the newspapers down on a tall stack of newspapers. Jennifer takes the newspaper Alex was reading away from him and adds it to the stack.
Alex: Hey what are you doing? Where are you going with my paper?
Jennifer: I need it Alex. We're going to recycle it.
Alex picks his newspaper back up.
Alex: Wait until it's been cycled first.
Alex sits back down at the kitchen table with his paper.
Alex: This is the kind of Milton behavior that leaves you environmentalists a bad name.
Justin: Environmentalists don't have bad names.
Jennifer: They do with Alex.
Alex: The whole idea of recycling is ridiculous. It's a waste of time.
Jennifer: Listen Alex, this planet's in real danger. There's a limitation to the Earth's resources useless we all do our share. The entire life support structure is in danger of collapsing and destroying life on Earth as we know it.
Alex: Grow up, will you Jennifer?
Mallory and Elyse enter through the front door with grocery bags.
Mallory: Bad news kids, no sweets, no treats, no meats, lots of yogurts, some stuff from Bulgaria.
Elyse: It's not from Bulgaria Mallory. It's Bulgur. It's a fine grain and it's rich in vitamins, minerals and iron.
Alex: It looks like cattle food.
Elyse: Hi Justin.
Justin: Hi.
Elyse: Can you stay for dinner?
Justin: Gee, I wish I could. Maybe some other time.
The phone rings. Elyse answers it.
Elyse: Hello? Mrs. Perkins? Justin your mother isn't here?
Jennifer takes the phone.
Jennifer: Why don't you guys just stop calling ok? Ha ha ha, I saw you two laughing. I Am not. Am not. So are you.
Jennifer hangs up the phone. Elyse looks at her.
Jennifer: Wrong number.
Elyse: I thought so.
Justin: Actually, it's these kids from school. They're making fun of us because Jennifer and I like to play together.
Jennifer: They call me Mrs. Perkins and they say I Know Jennifer's Boyfriend. Stupid heads.
Elyse: I know that kind of teasing can really hurt. How you holding up Justin?
Justin: Frankly I'm above it. I know the other kids find it strange that me and Jennifer are such great friends, but we'd be friends no matter what. The fact that Jennifer is a girl just makes it more exciting to me.
Elyse: You're going to do real well in high school you know.
Mallory: Well, this will cheer you up anyway. I have a terrific idea for your birthday party.
Jennifer: If it's your idea, it's going to involve boys.
Mallory: Of course involves boys. I mean a bunch of girls sitting around isn't a party its a wake.
Elyse: Now where'd you get an attitude like that? I have a great time when I'm just with my women friends.
Mallory: Well, that's different Mom. Your married. It's over for you.
Elyse: Do me a favor and don't tell your father.
Mallory: Anyway, my idea is to have a '50's party. Funny music and funny skirts. You put grease in your hair and you look really silly. It's neato.
Jennifer: I don't know. I never heard of the '50's.
Steven enters the kitchen through the front door.
Steven: Hello. Hi Justin. Great you got Bulgur.
Steven and Elyse kiss.
Mallory: You guys really stick together don't you?
The phone rings. Steven answers it.
Steven: Hello? Mrs. Perkins? Is your mother here Justin?
Jennifer goes and takes the phone.
Jennifer: Just for your information we happen to be above this you baby. Says you. Am not.
Jennifer hangs up the phone and runs out of the kitchen. Justin runs after her.
Steven: I have a feeling I missed something.
Elyse: The other kids have been teasing Jennifer because she plays with Justin.
Alex: Yeah, they've been calling here all afternoon.
Steven: They're just jealous that's all.
Alex: Well you do have to admit though that it is a little unusual. I mean an intersexual relationship at that age.
Steven: Sounds unusual at any age.
The phone rings.
Steven: Let me get it.
Steven picks up the phone.
Steven: Now listen. This is going to have to stop. This is our home and you calling here is childish, it's annoying, and we really don't appreciate the intrusion in our lives. It's your mother.
Elyse takes the phone.
Scene 2:
Kitchen: Elyse is sitting at the desk by the phone. Steven enters through the swinging door.
Steven: Well, Jennifer's feeling a little better.
Elyse: Oh that's good. At least the phone stopped ringing anyway.
Steven: Great.
Elyse: I think it's going to be quite a while before my mother calls again.
Steven: Apparently something good has come out of this. But, it's a little sad. After all that has happened in the last fifteen years or so eliminating sexual stereotypes, approved communication between men and women and still fourth grade boys and girls don't get along very well.
Elyse: I don't know. Did you play with girls when you were ten?
Steven: Of course not. What do I look like a sissy? That was different. That was before Sesame Street. Before consciousness raising. Before Ms. Magazine. What we men like to refer to as the good old days.
Elyse stands up.
Elyse: Is that so?
Steven and Elyse hug.
Steven: Actually no. These are the good days.
They kiss.
Mallory and Jennifer enter the kitchen. Jennifer is carrying a stack of newspapers.
Mallory: Would you guys cut it out? There are young children in the house.
Jennifer: I've seen worse.
Elyse: Why does this bother you so much?
Mallory: Well, you guys are old. It's just not something parents should be doing.
Jennifer: At least those are normal kisses. Unlike when your friends are here.
Mallory: (whispers) Jennifer!
Jennifer: You should see it. They try to bite each other's tongues off.
Mallory: Jennifer!
Mallory: It's called Dutch kissing. I thought I'd barf.
Alex enters the kitchen through the swinging door.
Alex: I'm going out to get a hamburger.
Mallory: I'll come with you.
Steven: Where you going? You just had dinner.
Alex: No, I just had Bulgur, Lindol, and mixed greens. That's only a meal for a heffer or a gerbil.
Mallory: You coming Jen?
Jennifer: No, I got to get these papers wrapped. We're going to recycle them tomorrow.
Steven: What are you going to do with the money you raise?
Jennifer: We're going to donate it to the wildlife preservation fund.
Alex: This is your influence. You realize that I hope.
Steven: I gather you're against recycling?
Alex: It's just interfering with the natural order of things that's all. Look a man goes and he buys something. He keeps it for a while, uses it, he enjoys it and then he gets tired of it, he throws it away and he buys a new one. I mean that's nature.
Steven: Thank you Ranger Rick.
Alex: See ya.
Alex and Mallory leave through the front door. Steven leaves through the swinging door. Jennifer is sitting on the stack of newspapers.
Elyse: So you excited about your birthday?
Jennifer: I guess.
Elyse: Oh come on, I've seen you more excited on the way to the dentist.
Jennifer: Mom, when you were in fourth grade, where there boys?
Elyse: Yeah. Boys were invented when I was in Kindergarten.
Jennifer: They sure make things complicated. Do you think we really need them?
Elyse: Come on boys are ok. What about your Daddy? He was a boy once.
Jennifer: I find that hard to believe.
Elyse: What about Justin? He's a boy and he's awfully nice.
Elyse sits down on the stack of newspapers.
Jennifer: That's two in the whole history of boys.
Elyse: What about Alex?
Jennifer: Give me a break.
Jennifer gets up from the newspapers.
Jennifer: Chrissy says if I'm going to play with Justin all the time she doesn't want to be my friend. That's what Dana and Marie say too.
Elyse gets up from the newspapers.
Elyse: You can't let other people decide who your friends are going to be.
Jennifer: I know it, but I don't want to lose them, and I still want to be Justin's friend too.
Elyse: Well, hang in there. A good friend's hard to find. A good man's even harder.
Elyse hugs Jennifer.
Scene 3:
Livingroom: Steven is on the phone.
Steven: Yeah, those all sound like good choices. Elvis? Right. Chuck Berry? Good, Snooky Lansin. I don't think so. It's nothing against Snooky, it's just that I don't think we need anymore records. He'll perform live? No, let's just go with what we've got. All right. Thanks.
Steven hangs up the phone. Elyse is sitting at the table by the door and Alex and Mallory are sitting on the couch.
Steven: We're all set. The jukebox will have fifty of the biggest hits of the '50's. Earth Angels by the Penguins, Heart Break Hotel Elvis Presley, Twilight Time the Platters, Madeline by Chuck Berry, and if you call now we'll include Eddie My Love by the fabulous Teen Queen.
Elyse gets up from the table.
Elyse: Eddie My Love?!
Elyse and Steven sing Eddie My Love. Alex and Mallory are embarrassed. They stand up after Elyse and Steven finish singeing.
Elyse: I guess you don't want to hear Da Do Run Run, or da do ya?
Jennifer comes in the front door.
Mallory: You're two minutes to late kid, Mom and Dad we're really being silly. You missed it.
Jennifer: I'm sure I'll get another chance.
Mallory goes upstairs.
Elyse: How'd it go at the recycling center?
Jennifer: We unloaded a whole truck full of newspapers and (puts change down on the table) that's what they gave us.
Alex: Seventy-seven cents.
Jennifer: A lot of good seventy-seven cents is going to do the bald eagle. It won't even by him a cheap cap.
Steven: You know I desperately need some loose change. If you would let me take those coins for this dollar bill instead, you'd be doing me a very big favor.
Jennifer: Ok.
Elyse: You know I don't have any one's at all. And if you would give me that one for this five I'd really appreciate it.
Jennifer: Ok.
Alex: I think I can get you your seventy-seven cents back.
Elyse: Hey.
Alex: Just kidding. (To Jennifer): I'll talk to you about it later.
Elyse: Hey, wasn't just coming home with you?
Jennifer: No, they dropped me off.
Jennifer: Didn't you say he was going to be here for dinner?
Jennifer: No. Yes, I mean, I said it, but I didn't.
Elyse: I don't understand.
Jennifer: Ok, here's the story. Justin's history. Yesterday's news. Adios Amigo. Good Night Irene.
Steven: What are you talking about? Justin was your bestfriend this morning.
Jennifer: That was a long time ago, before I knew he was a boy.
Elyse: Oh, I get it.
Steven: Jennifer, this doesn't seem like--
Jennifer: Look, I think I know who my friend's are and he's a boy. He just won't be around anymore ok? Leave me alone!
Jennifer runs upstairs.
Elyse: Score one for peer pressure.
Scene 4:
Livingroom: Mallory comes in the front door carrying a grocery bag. Elyse is sitting at the table and Jennifer is leaning up against the wall by the stairs.
Mallory: Everything's set for the party tomorrow. Records, posters, PEZ. I can't think of anything else we need.
Jennifer: I can think of something we don't need.
Steven: What?
Jennifer: Boys!
Elyse: Now, does this have anything to do with the teasing and the phone calls.
Jennifer: No. I just think we'd have more fun if it there were only girls.
Mallory: When's that line of thinking going to change?
Jennifer sits down at the table.
Elyse: Even if you wanted to, it's too late. All the invitations are out and some of the boys have accepted.
Jennifer: We could move.
Elyse: Jennifer.
The doorbell rings and Jennifer gets up and answers it.
Justin: Hello Jennifer.
Jennifer: Hi Justin. Bye Justin.
Jennifer tries to leave through the front door.
Justin: Wait a minute. I'd like to talk to you.
Jennifer: I can't. I can't talk. I'll see you later. Bye.
Jennifer leaves through the front door.
Scene 5:
Jennifer's bedroom. Jennifer is laying in her bed reading Sports Illustrated For Kids. Elyse comes in.
Elyse: Can we talk?
Jennifer: Sure, but not about how dirty my room is ok?
Elyse: Can we talk about when you're going to clean it up?
Jennifer: There are so many more interesting things to talk about. Don't you think?
Elyse: Don't you think at least some of this should be put away?
Elyse hands Jennifer a stuffed elephant.
Jennifer: Simba and I believe that all animals even stuffed ones should be allowed to roam free.
Elyse: Well, I'm going to talk to her after I finish talking to you. I don't think you wer're very nice to Justin this afternoon. I think you own him an apology.
Jennifer: Ok. I'll apologize because it wasn't very nice, but that doesn't mean I have to be his friend. I have the right to pick my own friends don't I?
Elyse: But, you did pick Justin as your friend and for a really good reason. He's thoughtful. He's sweet. He's--
Jennifer: Don't get carried away ok Mom? He's not Ellen Alda. I don't like being teased. People laughing, pointing fingers, putting signs on my back. A frown return to Justin Perkins.
Elyse: I know that's hard, but you have to learn to stand up to stuff like that. It's particularly important for women to be strong in areas like that.
Jennifer: You're not going to put the pressure of the whole women's movement on me are you?
Elyse: No dear, but I do think it's important for boys and girls to be friends.
Jennifer gets up off of the bed.
Elyse: That way, maybe when they grow up they will know how to be friends as men and women.
Jennifer: That doesn't happen now?
Elyse: Not a lot. Not enough.
Jennifer: How come?
Elyse: There's a lot of role playing going on. Women playing at being cute and helpless. Men playing at being tough and always in control.
Jennifer: That's crazy.
They move off the stuff animals that were on Jennifer's bed. Jennifer gets into bed.
Elyse: But, see that's what we were taught. I remember when I was fifteen and my mother telling me the definition of a young lady. A young lady always says please and thank you. She always laughs at a young man's jokes and a young lady never beats a boy in sports.
Jennifer: Good thing, we don't have any young ladies on our soccer team. This boy/girl stuff is pretty complicated business huh?
Elyse: You ain't seen nothing yet. Wait until you get to be a teenager.
Jennifer: Am I going to be like Mallory and get crazy for clothes and movie stars?
Elyse: I think you're going to be like Jennifer.
Jennifer: What's that?
Elyse: Warm, sweet, funny.
Jennifer: Doesn't sound like any teenager I know.
Elyse: See, you and Justin are friends. You like each other. You have fun together. That's what should matter.
Jennifer: I want to do it Mom. I do, but I don't know if I can.
Elyse: Well, sleep on it.
Elyse gives Jennifer a kiss on the cheek.
Scene 6:
Livingroom: Alex comes down the stairs. He's wearing '50's clothing. He goes and looks at himself in the mirror. He sees Steven. Steven's also dressed up '50's style.
Steven: Hey Fonzie. Can you give me a hand here?
Alex: I don't know how to break it to you Dad, but the last wave left about an hour again.
Alex: I can't believe people actually dressed like this.
Steven: In those days, a jacket like that was a symbol of rebellion. An emblem of an entire generation. It meant you were tough and that you could hold your own in a rumble.
Alex: You have one like this?
Steven: No, my mother wouldn't let me.
Elyse enters the livingroom from the kitchen.
Steven: Am I dreaming or did Sandra Dee just walk in?
Elyse; Moon Doggy! Is that you?
Steven: Surfs up!
Alex is sitting at the table.
Alex: I hope you two get this out of your system before the guests arrive.
Elyse: Where's the birthday girl?
Steven: She's upstairs. Mallory's putting the final touches on her.
Elyse: She better hurry because they'll be.here any minute.
Steven: Everything's all set.
Elyse walks over to the jukebox.
Elyse: Ain't this a beauty?
Steven walks over to where Elyse is.
Steven: This is exactly like the one they had at the Paradise Hotel in Atlantic City when I worked there in 1959.
Elyse: 1959. That was a great summer.
Steven: Yeah, hey wait a minute, I didn't know you in 1959.
Elyse: It would have been a better summer if I had known you.
Steven: Better than great?
Elyse and Steven start to dance to the music.
Jennifer and Mallory come running down the stairs.
Mallory: Jennifer! You can't go out with only one lip done.
Jennifer: I don't like it. It feels like I've got jelly on me.
Mallory: Well, you're supposed to look '50's not punk.
Jennifer: Ok.
Mallory puts lipstick on Jennifer. The door bell rings.
Steven: All right, all right.
Elyse: Come on.
Steven: You have time.
Alex answers the door. There are a group of kids outside.
Alex: Can I see your invitations please?
Elyse: Alex!
Alex: I don't know these guys. They could be crashers.
Steven; Come on in.
Elyse: Come on in guys. Welcome to the 1950's.
The kids come inside.
Elyse: Hope you have as much fun as I did.
Steven; All right. You guys look great. All right fantastic.
The boys go to one side of the livingrom and the girls go to the other side.
Steven: Hey ladies. How are you? I think I detect a trend here.
Elyse: Jennifer.
Steven: Fellas. I have an idea. How about we saunter over there to the other side of the room and meet some of your friends. Come on, come on, you all know each other. You're in the same class. Right? This is fantastic.
The boys head to the other side of the room as the girls head to the other side of the room.
Elyse: It's going to be a long night.
Alex talks to the boys and Mallory talks to the girls.
Alex goes over to Elyse and Steven and so does Mallory.
Alex: Well, eight out of the ten boys I interviewed will dance with a girl if asked. Nine out of ten of them think we should give Reaganomics a chance.
Elyse: Alex!
Alex: You know, I was just thinking, it's interesting. There more politically then socially.
Steven: Can you get them to dance or can't you?
Alex: Maybe, but no of them is going to be the first one out there.
Mallory: Of the girls I polled, they're willing to dance with boys, if asked, and if the boy's taller.
Elyse: The Salt Talks couldn't of been this complicated.
Alex: I bet they were a lot more fun. Lets face it. This party is dying.
Jennifer: Well, Mommy, I hope you're satisfied!
Elyse: Don't get sarcastic with me Jennifer. I don't like that.
Jennifer: Tough!
Elyse: I don't talk that way to you. if something's bothering you just come right out and tell me what it is.
Jennifer: Ok! You ruined my party by inviting the boys here!
Steven: Jennifer, that's not fair.
Jennifer: You always take her side don't you Daddy? It's gain up on the kid time again huh?
Jennifer goes and sits down on the couch. Elyse goes and sits by her.
Elyse: Now Jennifer I know you're upset with me right now and to tell you the truth I'm not all that thrilled with you. But if there's going to be a way out of this tonight, it's going to come from you.
Jennifer: How?
Elyse: I think you should ask Justin to dance.
Jennifer; Be serious!
Elyse: I am and I think there are a lot of kids here who would be very happy if someone else makes the first move.
Jennifer: I'm afraid to Mom.
Steven: What are you afraid of?
Jennifer: People laugh.
Elyse: I won't.
Steven: I won't.
Mallory: I won't.
Alex: I might.
Elyse, Steven, Mallory, and Jennifer look at Alex.
Alex: Just being honest.
Elyse: Lets say that's the worst thing that happens. People will laugh. The best thing that's gonna happen is that you'll dance with Justin, the other kids will dance and you'll wind up having a terrific party.
Jennifer: I want to Mom. I really do, but I don't know if I have the guts.
Elyse gets up and goes over and puts a song on.
Elyse: All right everybody. This next one's going to be a lady's choice.
The kids all groan. Jennifer gets up and walks over to Justin as the girls and boys look on.
Jennifer: Will you dance with me Justin?
Justin: I thought you'd never ask.
Jennifer and Justin start to dance. The other kids pick partners and start dancing.
Steven: Wanna dance?
Elyse: It's lady's choice.
Steven: I'm cool.
Elyse: Care to dance sailor?
Elyse and Steven start dancing. Mallory looks over at Alex.
Alex: Oh what the hell.
Alex and Mallory start to dance.
Elyse and Steven and Jennifer and Justin are dancing close together.
Elyse: Happy birthday.
The End.
Scene I:
Kitchen: Alex is sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. Jennifer and her friend Justin enter the kitchen through the swinging door. They're carrying newspapers. They sit the newspapers down on a tall stack of newspapers. Jennifer takes the newspaper Alex was reading away from him and adds it to the stack.
Alex: Hey what are you doing? Where are you going with my paper?
Jennifer: I need it Alex. We're going to recycle it.
Alex picks his newspaper back up.
Alex: Wait until it's been cycled first.
Alex sits back down at the kitchen table with his paper.
Alex: This is the kind of Milton behavior that leaves you environmentalists a bad name.
Justin: Environmentalists don't have bad names.
Jennifer: They do with Alex.
Alex: The whole idea of recycling is ridiculous. It's a waste of time.
Jennifer: Listen Alex, this planet's in real danger. There's a limitation to the Earth's resources useless we all do our share. The entire life support structure is in danger of collapsing and destroying life on Earth as we know it.
Alex: Grow up, will you Jennifer?
Mallory and Elyse enter through the front door with grocery bags.
Mallory: Bad news kids, no sweets, no treats, no meats, lots of yogurts, some stuff from Bulgaria.
Elyse: It's not from Bulgaria Mallory. It's Bulgur. It's a fine grain and it's rich in vitamins, minerals and iron.
Alex: It looks like cattle food.
Elyse: Hi Justin.
Justin: Hi.
Elyse: Can you stay for dinner?
Justin: Gee, I wish I could. Maybe some other time.
The phone rings. Elyse answers it.
Elyse: Hello? Mrs. Perkins? Justin your mother isn't here?
Jennifer takes the phone.
Jennifer: Why don't you guys just stop calling ok? Ha ha ha, I saw you two laughing. I Am not. Am not. So are you.
Jennifer hangs up the phone. Elyse looks at her.
Jennifer: Wrong number.
Elyse: I thought so.
Justin: Actually, it's these kids from school. They're making fun of us because Jennifer and I like to play together.
Jennifer: They call me Mrs. Perkins and they say I Know Jennifer's Boyfriend. Stupid heads.
Elyse: I know that kind of teasing can really hurt. How you holding up Justin?
Justin: Frankly I'm above it. I know the other kids find it strange that me and Jennifer are such great friends, but we'd be friends no matter what. The fact that Jennifer is a girl just makes it more exciting to me.
Elyse: You're going to do real well in high school you know.
Mallory: Well, this will cheer you up anyway. I have a terrific idea for your birthday party.
Jennifer: If it's your idea, it's going to involve boys.
Mallory: Of course involves boys. I mean a bunch of girls sitting around isn't a party its a wake.
Elyse: Now where'd you get an attitude like that? I have a great time when I'm just with my women friends.
Mallory: Well, that's different Mom. Your married. It's over for you.
Elyse: Do me a favor and don't tell your father.
Mallory: Anyway, my idea is to have a '50's party. Funny music and funny skirts. You put grease in your hair and you look really silly. It's neato.
Jennifer: I don't know. I never heard of the '50's.
Steven enters the kitchen through the front door.
Steven: Hello. Hi Justin. Great you got Bulgur.
Steven and Elyse kiss.
Mallory: You guys really stick together don't you?
The phone rings. Steven answers it.
Steven: Hello? Mrs. Perkins? Is your mother here Justin?
Jennifer goes and takes the phone.
Jennifer: Just for your information we happen to be above this you baby. Says you. Am not.
Jennifer hangs up the phone and runs out of the kitchen. Justin runs after her.
Steven: I have a feeling I missed something.
Elyse: The other kids have been teasing Jennifer because she plays with Justin.
Alex: Yeah, they've been calling here all afternoon.
Steven: They're just jealous that's all.
Alex: Well you do have to admit though that it is a little unusual. I mean an intersexual relationship at that age.
Steven: Sounds unusual at any age.
The phone rings.
Steven: Let me get it.
Steven picks up the phone.
Steven: Now listen. This is going to have to stop. This is our home and you calling here is childish, it's annoying, and we really don't appreciate the intrusion in our lives. It's your mother.
Elyse takes the phone.
Scene 2:
Kitchen: Elyse is sitting at the desk by the phone. Steven enters through the swinging door.
Steven: Well, Jennifer's feeling a little better.
Elyse: Oh that's good. At least the phone stopped ringing anyway.
Steven: Great.
Elyse: I think it's going to be quite a while before my mother calls again.
Steven: Apparently something good has come out of this. But, it's a little sad. After all that has happened in the last fifteen years or so eliminating sexual stereotypes, approved communication between men and women and still fourth grade boys and girls don't get along very well.
Elyse: I don't know. Did you play with girls when you were ten?
Steven: Of course not. What do I look like a sissy? That was different. That was before Sesame Street. Before consciousness raising. Before Ms. Magazine. What we men like to refer to as the good old days.
Elyse stands up.
Elyse: Is that so?
Steven and Elyse hug.
Steven: Actually no. These are the good days.
They kiss.
Mallory and Jennifer enter the kitchen. Jennifer is carrying a stack of newspapers.
Mallory: Would you guys cut it out? There are young children in the house.
Jennifer: I've seen worse.
Elyse: Why does this bother you so much?
Mallory: Well, you guys are old. It's just not something parents should be doing.
Jennifer: At least those are normal kisses. Unlike when your friends are here.
Mallory: (whispers) Jennifer!
Jennifer: You should see it. They try to bite each other's tongues off.
Mallory: Jennifer!
Mallory: It's called Dutch kissing. I thought I'd barf.
Alex enters the kitchen through the swinging door.
Alex: I'm going out to get a hamburger.
Mallory: I'll come with you.
Steven: Where you going? You just had dinner.
Alex: No, I just had Bulgur, Lindol, and mixed greens. That's only a meal for a heffer or a gerbil.
Mallory: You coming Jen?
Jennifer: No, I got to get these papers wrapped. We're going to recycle them tomorrow.
Steven: What are you going to do with the money you raise?
Jennifer: We're going to donate it to the wildlife preservation fund.
Alex: This is your influence. You realize that I hope.
Steven: I gather you're against recycling?
Alex: It's just interfering with the natural order of things that's all. Look a man goes and he buys something. He keeps it for a while, uses it, he enjoys it and then he gets tired of it, he throws it away and he buys a new one. I mean that's nature.
Steven: Thank you Ranger Rick.
Alex: See ya.
Alex and Mallory leave through the front door. Steven leaves through the swinging door. Jennifer is sitting on the stack of newspapers.
Elyse: So you excited about your birthday?
Jennifer: I guess.
Elyse: Oh come on, I've seen you more excited on the way to the dentist.
Jennifer: Mom, when you were in fourth grade, where there boys?
Elyse: Yeah. Boys were invented when I was in Kindergarten.
Jennifer: They sure make things complicated. Do you think we really need them?
Elyse: Come on boys are ok. What about your Daddy? He was a boy once.
Jennifer: I find that hard to believe.
Elyse: What about Justin? He's a boy and he's awfully nice.
Elyse sits down on the stack of newspapers.
Jennifer: That's two in the whole history of boys.
Elyse: What about Alex?
Jennifer: Give me a break.
Jennifer gets up from the newspapers.
Jennifer: Chrissy says if I'm going to play with Justin all the time she doesn't want to be my friend. That's what Dana and Marie say too.
Elyse gets up from the newspapers.
Elyse: You can't let other people decide who your friends are going to be.
Jennifer: I know it, but I don't want to lose them, and I still want to be Justin's friend too.
Elyse: Well, hang in there. A good friend's hard to find. A good man's even harder.
Elyse hugs Jennifer.
Scene 3:
Livingroom: Steven is on the phone.
Steven: Yeah, those all sound like good choices. Elvis? Right. Chuck Berry? Good, Snooky Lansin. I don't think so. It's nothing against Snooky, it's just that I don't think we need anymore records. He'll perform live? No, let's just go with what we've got. All right. Thanks.
Steven hangs up the phone. Elyse is sitting at the table by the door and Alex and Mallory are sitting on the couch.
Steven: We're all set. The jukebox will have fifty of the biggest hits of the '50's. Earth Angels by the Penguins, Heart Break Hotel Elvis Presley, Twilight Time the Platters, Madeline by Chuck Berry, and if you call now we'll include Eddie My Love by the fabulous Teen Queen.
Elyse gets up from the table.
Elyse: Eddie My Love?!
Elyse and Steven sing Eddie My Love. Alex and Mallory are embarrassed. They stand up after Elyse and Steven finish singeing.
Elyse: I guess you don't want to hear Da Do Run Run, or da do ya?
Jennifer comes in the front door.
Mallory: You're two minutes to late kid, Mom and Dad we're really being silly. You missed it.
Jennifer: I'm sure I'll get another chance.
Mallory goes upstairs.
Elyse: How'd it go at the recycling center?
Jennifer: We unloaded a whole truck full of newspapers and (puts change down on the table) that's what they gave us.
Alex: Seventy-seven cents.
Jennifer: A lot of good seventy-seven cents is going to do the bald eagle. It won't even by him a cheap cap.
Steven: You know I desperately need some loose change. If you would let me take those coins for this dollar bill instead, you'd be doing me a very big favor.
Jennifer: Ok.
Elyse: You know I don't have any one's at all. And if you would give me that one for this five I'd really appreciate it.
Jennifer: Ok.
Alex: I think I can get you your seventy-seven cents back.
Elyse: Hey.
Alex: Just kidding. (To Jennifer): I'll talk to you about it later.
Elyse: Hey, wasn't just coming home with you?
Jennifer: No, they dropped me off.
Jennifer: Didn't you say he was going to be here for dinner?
Jennifer: No. Yes, I mean, I said it, but I didn't.
Elyse: I don't understand.
Jennifer: Ok, here's the story. Justin's history. Yesterday's news. Adios Amigo. Good Night Irene.
Steven: What are you talking about? Justin was your bestfriend this morning.
Jennifer: That was a long time ago, before I knew he was a boy.
Elyse: Oh, I get it.
Steven: Jennifer, this doesn't seem like--
Jennifer: Look, I think I know who my friend's are and he's a boy. He just won't be around anymore ok? Leave me alone!
Jennifer runs upstairs.
Elyse: Score one for peer pressure.
Scene 4:
Livingroom: Mallory comes in the front door carrying a grocery bag. Elyse is sitting at the table and Jennifer is leaning up against the wall by the stairs.
Mallory: Everything's set for the party tomorrow. Records, posters, PEZ. I can't think of anything else we need.
Jennifer: I can think of something we don't need.
Steven: What?
Jennifer: Boys!
Elyse: Now, does this have anything to do with the teasing and the phone calls.
Jennifer: No. I just think we'd have more fun if it there were only girls.
Mallory: When's that line of thinking going to change?
Jennifer sits down at the table.
Elyse: Even if you wanted to, it's too late. All the invitations are out and some of the boys have accepted.
Jennifer: We could move.
Elyse: Jennifer.
The doorbell rings and Jennifer gets up and answers it.
Justin: Hello Jennifer.
Jennifer: Hi Justin. Bye Justin.
Jennifer tries to leave through the front door.
Justin: Wait a minute. I'd like to talk to you.
Jennifer: I can't. I can't talk. I'll see you later. Bye.
Jennifer leaves through the front door.
Scene 5:
Jennifer's bedroom. Jennifer is laying in her bed reading Sports Illustrated For Kids. Elyse comes in.
Elyse: Can we talk?
Jennifer: Sure, but not about how dirty my room is ok?
Elyse: Can we talk about when you're going to clean it up?
Jennifer: There are so many more interesting things to talk about. Don't you think?
Elyse: Don't you think at least some of this should be put away?
Elyse hands Jennifer a stuffed elephant.
Jennifer: Simba and I believe that all animals even stuffed ones should be allowed to roam free.
Elyse: Well, I'm going to talk to her after I finish talking to you. I don't think you wer're very nice to Justin this afternoon. I think you own him an apology.
Jennifer: Ok. I'll apologize because it wasn't very nice, but that doesn't mean I have to be his friend. I have the right to pick my own friends don't I?
Elyse: But, you did pick Justin as your friend and for a really good reason. He's thoughtful. He's sweet. He's--
Jennifer: Don't get carried away ok Mom? He's not Ellen Alda. I don't like being teased. People laughing, pointing fingers, putting signs on my back. A frown return to Justin Perkins.
Elyse: I know that's hard, but you have to learn to stand up to stuff like that. It's particularly important for women to be strong in areas like that.
Jennifer: You're not going to put the pressure of the whole women's movement on me are you?
Elyse: No dear, but I do think it's important for boys and girls to be friends.
Jennifer gets up off of the bed.
Elyse: That way, maybe when they grow up they will know how to be friends as men and women.
Jennifer: That doesn't happen now?
Elyse: Not a lot. Not enough.
Jennifer: How come?
Elyse: There's a lot of role playing going on. Women playing at being cute and helpless. Men playing at being tough and always in control.
Jennifer: That's crazy.
They move off the stuff animals that were on Jennifer's bed. Jennifer gets into bed.
Elyse: But, see that's what we were taught. I remember when I was fifteen and my mother telling me the definition of a young lady. A young lady always says please and thank you. She always laughs at a young man's jokes and a young lady never beats a boy in sports.
Jennifer: Good thing, we don't have any young ladies on our soccer team. This boy/girl stuff is pretty complicated business huh?
Elyse: You ain't seen nothing yet. Wait until you get to be a teenager.
Jennifer: Am I going to be like Mallory and get crazy for clothes and movie stars?
Elyse: I think you're going to be like Jennifer.
Jennifer: What's that?
Elyse: Warm, sweet, funny.
Jennifer: Doesn't sound like any teenager I know.
Elyse: See, you and Justin are friends. You like each other. You have fun together. That's what should matter.
Jennifer: I want to do it Mom. I do, but I don't know if I can.
Elyse: Well, sleep on it.
Elyse gives Jennifer a kiss on the cheek.
Scene 6:
Livingroom: Alex comes down the stairs. He's wearing '50's clothing. He goes and looks at himself in the mirror. He sees Steven. Steven's also dressed up '50's style.
Steven: Hey Fonzie. Can you give me a hand here?
Alex: I don't know how to break it to you Dad, but the last wave left about an hour again.
Alex: I can't believe people actually dressed like this.
Steven: In those days, a jacket like that was a symbol of rebellion. An emblem of an entire generation. It meant you were tough and that you could hold your own in a rumble.
Alex: You have one like this?
Steven: No, my mother wouldn't let me.
Elyse enters the livingroom from the kitchen.
Steven: Am I dreaming or did Sandra Dee just walk in?
Elyse; Moon Doggy! Is that you?
Steven: Surfs up!
Alex is sitting at the table.
Alex: I hope you two get this out of your system before the guests arrive.
Elyse: Where's the birthday girl?
Steven: She's upstairs. Mallory's putting the final touches on her.
Elyse: She better hurry because they'll be.here any minute.
Steven: Everything's all set.
Elyse walks over to the jukebox.
Elyse: Ain't this a beauty?
Steven walks over to where Elyse is.
Steven: This is exactly like the one they had at the Paradise Hotel in Atlantic City when I worked there in 1959.
Elyse: 1959. That was a great summer.
Steven: Yeah, hey wait a minute, I didn't know you in 1959.
Elyse: It would have been a better summer if I had known you.
Steven: Better than great?
Elyse and Steven start to dance to the music.
Jennifer and Mallory come running down the stairs.
Mallory: Jennifer! You can't go out with only one lip done.
Jennifer: I don't like it. It feels like I've got jelly on me.
Mallory: Well, you're supposed to look '50's not punk.
Jennifer: Ok.
Mallory puts lipstick on Jennifer. The door bell rings.
Steven: All right, all right.
Elyse: Come on.
Steven: You have time.
Alex answers the door. There are a group of kids outside.
Alex: Can I see your invitations please?
Elyse: Alex!
Alex: I don't know these guys. They could be crashers.
Steven; Come on in.
Elyse: Come on in guys. Welcome to the 1950's.
The kids come inside.
Elyse: Hope you have as much fun as I did.
Steven; All right. You guys look great. All right fantastic.
The boys go to one side of the livingrom and the girls go to the other side.
Steven: Hey ladies. How are you? I think I detect a trend here.
Elyse: Jennifer.
Steven: Fellas. I have an idea. How about we saunter over there to the other side of the room and meet some of your friends. Come on, come on, you all know each other. You're in the same class. Right? This is fantastic.
The boys head to the other side of the room as the girls head to the other side of the room.
Elyse: It's going to be a long night.
Alex talks to the boys and Mallory talks to the girls.
Alex goes over to Elyse and Steven and so does Mallory.
Alex: Well, eight out of the ten boys I interviewed will dance with a girl if asked. Nine out of ten of them think we should give Reaganomics a chance.
Elyse: Alex!
Alex: You know, I was just thinking, it's interesting. There more politically then socially.
Steven: Can you get them to dance or can't you?
Alex: Maybe, but no of them is going to be the first one out there.
Mallory: Of the girls I polled, they're willing to dance with boys, if asked, and if the boy's taller.
Elyse: The Salt Talks couldn't of been this complicated.
Alex: I bet they were a lot more fun. Lets face it. This party is dying.
Jennifer: Well, Mommy, I hope you're satisfied!
Elyse: Don't get sarcastic with me Jennifer. I don't like that.
Jennifer: Tough!
Elyse: I don't talk that way to you. if something's bothering you just come right out and tell me what it is.
Jennifer: Ok! You ruined my party by inviting the boys here!
Steven: Jennifer, that's not fair.
Jennifer: You always take her side don't you Daddy? It's gain up on the kid time again huh?
Jennifer goes and sits down on the couch. Elyse goes and sits by her.
Elyse: Now Jennifer I know you're upset with me right now and to tell you the truth I'm not all that thrilled with you. But if there's going to be a way out of this tonight, it's going to come from you.
Jennifer: How?
Elyse: I think you should ask Justin to dance.
Jennifer; Be serious!
Elyse: I am and I think there are a lot of kids here who would be very happy if someone else makes the first move.
Jennifer: I'm afraid to Mom.
Steven: What are you afraid of?
Jennifer: People laugh.
Elyse: I won't.
Steven: I won't.
Mallory: I won't.
Alex: I might.
Elyse, Steven, Mallory, and Jennifer look at Alex.
Alex: Just being honest.
Elyse: Lets say that's the worst thing that happens. People will laugh. The best thing that's gonna happen is that you'll dance with Justin, the other kids will dance and you'll wind up having a terrific party.
Jennifer: I want to Mom. I really do, but I don't know if I have the guts.
Elyse gets up and goes over and puts a song on.
Elyse: All right everybody. This next one's going to be a lady's choice.
The kids all groan. Jennifer gets up and walks over to Justin as the girls and boys look on.
Jennifer: Will you dance with me Justin?
Justin: I thought you'd never ask.
Jennifer and Justin start to dance. The other kids pick partners and start dancing.
Steven: Wanna dance?
Elyse: It's lady's choice.
Steven: I'm cool.
Elyse: Care to dance sailor?
Elyse and Steven start dancing. Mallory looks over at Alex.
Alex: Oh what the hell.
Alex and Mallory start to dance.
Elyse and Steven and Jennifer and Justin are dancing close together.
Elyse: Happy birthday.
The End.