"There's nothing to tell. He's just some guy I work with." "Oh good, Lenny and Squiggy are here." "Feet on the floor, or come over no more."

[No one knows about Monica and Chandler yet.]
Monica: Chandler loves my massages.
Chandler: No, actually, he doesn't.
Monica: What happened to us being honest?
[Pause, everyone looks at Monica]
Monica: And, by us, I mean everyone.


[Phoebe is cutting Monica's hair]
Phoebe: Relax, I know what I'm doing, this is how HE wears it.
Monica: How who wears it?
Phoebe: Demi Moore
Monica: Demi Moore is not a he.
Phoebe: Well, he was HE in ARTHUR and in 10 eh,
Monica: THAT'S DUDLEY MOORE!, I said I wanted it like Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Oh, OH!
Monica: OH MY GOD!
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'M SORRY! Which one is Demi Moore?
Monica: SHE'S the ACTRESS, who was in DISCLOSURE, INDECENT PROPOSAL, and GHOST!
Phoebe: OH! Oh she's got gorgeous hair.
Monica: I KNOW!

Monica and Chandlers Wedding-
Monica: Can you believe Phoebe's pregnant? This is big!
Rachel: Sure, but as big as your wedding?
Monica: Of course not, nothing is!

Rachel: The nights are the hardest, and then the day comes and that's just as hard as the night and then the night comes again.
Monica: (Clapping) The days and nights are hard, I get it!

Confessing the jelly fish story-
Monica: We swore we'd never tell!
Chandler: We have to tell them
Monica: Alright!!! I got stung... stung bad.

Monica is my favorite character and she has millions of quotes. The ones above aren't the best and they aren't that funny written down on paper. But they are hysterical the way Courtney delivers the lines!

"Welcome to the real world! It s***s! You're gonna love it." "Oh my God! What were you doing in a library?" "Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress." "Put the plates back in the box!! Put the plates back in the box!!!"

Forget the bubble wrap, there isn't time!

"Oh my god, my ass is sweating."

"I am so good at lightening rounds!!" That line is so dorky, it's funny.

This is not so much a quote but a scene, when she's showing Chandler the 7 female erogenous zones, and she starts getting herself turned on, as are Rachel & Chandler. Seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven....and then she whispers seven, and puts seven fingers in the air.

Still so funny.

I forgot one more--

When Rachel says that Chandler is a "transponster", then Monica says "That's not even a word!!"

I was in the store one night and I heard that on a nearby TV, and I couldn't help but chuckle because I knew exactly which episode it was.