Sargent Stewie
01-16-2005, 04:51 PM
88 Ways to Know Whether You Are Chinese My responses are between the ()
1. You look like you are 18. (lol, yea right)
2. You like to eat chicken feet. (yeah!!!)
3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins. (My mom does though...ewww
4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror. (yea)
5. You sing Karaoke. (never)
6. Your house is covered with tile. (nope)
7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease. (no)
8. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. (no)
9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote control. (my grandma does...)
10. You've never kissed your mom or dad. (tru)
11. You've never hugged your mom or dad. (tru)
12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500. (wha?)
13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses". (no)
14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade. (i don't wear glasses)
15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up. (my hair always sticks up...)
16. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable. (yep)
17. You love to use coupons. (nope)
18. You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol. (whats a petrol?)
19. You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space. (my mom does)
20. You take showers at night. (yep yep)
21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms. (yeah, they really get you with the paying ones)
22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room. (well it depends, :winkey:
23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you are male. (yeah, whatever
24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you. (yes)
25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently. (only aie ya)
26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable. (no, that's plain stoopid)
27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack. (if i could gamble...) 28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can reuse the paper. (no)
29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off. (not me)
30. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table. (nope...)
31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (My mom does
32. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time. (i don't even wanna look in there)
33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack. (who doesn't?)
34. You have never used your dishwasher. (my mom does once a while)
35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times. (wha?)
36. You eat all meals in the kitchen. (i guess u can say dat...)
37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. (no)
38. You have a piano in your living room (nope nope)
39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (i use toothpicks)
40. You twirl your pen around your fingers. (hehe)
41. You hate to waste food. (yep)
42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing. (around 1 plate)
43. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars. (ummm, what?)
44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses. (what is a jam jar?)
45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel. (no, how chinkey though)
46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These snacks are always dried and include dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid. (fruits)
47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it. (who wants to eat drrrrty rice?)
48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself. (dunno)
49. The dashboard of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small toys. (shutup! hehe)
50. You don't use measuring cups. (yea, for rice)
51. You beat eggs with chopsticks. (wha?)
52. You have a teacup with a cover on it. (no)
53. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling information costs 50 cents. (i only did it 3 times cuz i was lazy)
54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm. (actaully, after 7 pm )
55. If you are male, you clap at something funny and if you are female, you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth. (I agree on the boy thing)
56. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions. (of course)
57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films. (right again!)
58. You've learnt some form of martial arts. (no, i'm too lazy for that discipline crap)
59. Shaolin actually means something to you. (Shaolin Soccer? LOL)
60. You like congee with thousand-year-old eggs. (whatcha talkin bout? those eggs with black spots on em?
62. You never call your parents just to say hi. (why would i?)
63. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight. (I guess,)
65. You know what yeet hay is. (not in that dialect)
66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only 10 feet apart. [more like instant message, but yah]
67. You use a face cloth. (yup)
68. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat places. (no)
70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again. (no)
72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin. [definitely, i smash them with the side of my toothbrush]
73. You know what moon cakes are. (for the moon festival, duh)
75. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles. (umm...ewww)
76. You iron your own shirts.[mom does it for me]
77. You play a musical instrument. (used to)
79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle. (hell no)
81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill. (damn straight, well, at least my aunts and my mom does :P)
83. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood. (neither of the above)
84. You don't tip more than 0% at a restaurant, and if you do, you tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more. (that's just plain mean, everyone deserves a 14% tip, unless they are a real ass)
85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.[uh no]
86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table. (i eat the last everything)
87. You know why there are 88 reasons. (of course, ba ba)
88. You see the truth in this and then send it to all your Chinese friends. (screw u, :P)
1. You look like you are 18. (lol, yea right)
2. You like to eat chicken feet. (yeah!!!)
3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins. (My mom does though...ewww
4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror. (yea)
5. You sing Karaoke. (never)
6. Your house is covered with tile. (nope)
7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease. (no)
8. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. (no)
9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote control. (my grandma does...)
10. You've never kissed your mom or dad. (tru)
11. You've never hugged your mom or dad. (tru)
12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500. (wha?)
13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses". (no)
14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade. (i don't wear glasses)
15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up. (my hair always sticks up...)
16. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable. (yep)
17. You love to use coupons. (nope)
18. You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol. (whats a petrol?)
19. You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space. (my mom does)
20. You take showers at night. (yep yep)
21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms. (yeah, they really get you with the paying ones)
22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room. (well it depends, :winkey:
23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you are male. (yeah, whatever
24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you. (yes)
25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently. (only aie ya)
26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable. (no, that's plain stoopid)
27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack. (if i could gamble...) 28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can reuse the paper. (no)
29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off. (not me)
30. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table. (nope...)
31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (My mom does
32. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time. (i don't even wanna look in there)
33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack. (who doesn't?)
34. You have never used your dishwasher. (my mom does once a while)
35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times. (wha?)
36. You eat all meals in the kitchen. (i guess u can say dat...)
37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. (no)
38. You have a piano in your living room (nope nope)
39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (i use toothpicks)
40. You twirl your pen around your fingers. (hehe)
41. You hate to waste food. (yep)
42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing. (around 1 plate)
43. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars. (ummm, what?)
44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses. (what is a jam jar?)
45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel. (no, how chinkey though)
46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These snacks are always dried and include dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid. (fruits)
47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it. (who wants to eat drrrrty rice?)
48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself. (dunno)
49. The dashboard of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small toys. (shutup! hehe)
50. You don't use measuring cups. (yea, for rice)
51. You beat eggs with chopsticks. (wha?)
52. You have a teacup with a cover on it. (no)
53. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling information costs 50 cents. (i only did it 3 times cuz i was lazy)
54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm. (actaully, after 7 pm )
55. If you are male, you clap at something funny and if you are female, you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth. (I agree on the boy thing)
56. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions. (of course)
57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films. (right again!)
58. You've learnt some form of martial arts. (no, i'm too lazy for that discipline crap)
59. Shaolin actually means something to you. (Shaolin Soccer? LOL)
60. You like congee with thousand-year-old eggs. (whatcha talkin bout? those eggs with black spots on em?
62. You never call your parents just to say hi. (why would i?)
63. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight. (I guess,)
65. You know what yeet hay is. (not in that dialect)
66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only 10 feet apart. [more like instant message, but yah]
67. You use a face cloth. (yup)
68. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat places. (no)
70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again. (no)
72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin. [definitely, i smash them with the side of my toothbrush]
73. You know what moon cakes are. (for the moon festival, duh)
75. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles. (umm...ewww)
76. You iron your own shirts.[mom does it for me]
77. You play a musical instrument. (used to)
79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle. (hell no)
81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill. (damn straight, well, at least my aunts and my mom does :P)
83. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood. (neither of the above)
84. You don't tip more than 0% at a restaurant, and if you do, you tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more. (that's just plain mean, everyone deserves a 14% tip, unless they are a real ass)
85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.[uh no]
86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table. (i eat the last everything)
87. You know why there are 88 reasons. (of course, ba ba)
88. You see the truth in this and then send it to all your Chinese friends. (screw u, :P)