Hi All:
My wife is named Vera (unfortunately, my name is not Norm) and we are great Cheers fans. We watch reruns all the time.

I am making a gift for her 42nd birthday. I am trying to get a list of all the times Norm described what Vera looked like. Once, for example, he said, "She looks like Ed Asner." I am going to frame a picture of the two of us, and then write below, "Vera, you are..." and then fill in Norm's quotes on her appearance, to make it seem like he is talking about her!

I was a rich man I would buy her a Jaguar! But she will find this funny. I will get her some other gifts too, but she'll like this a lot.

I was looking for the scripts of episodes on the internet, but struck out. If anyone has any scripts, or remembers great lines where Norm describes her, that would be amazing! And we both will thank you much.

Wearing milk bone underwear,
Marc (a/k/a Highways Jammed)(that's from Born to Run!)

haha sounds like a great plan.


This is all I could find:


[Norm comes in with an attractive woman.]
Coach: Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?
Norm: With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.


Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?
Norm: See you later, Vera, I'll be at Cheers.


Not sure if that's quite what you're looking for, though. I'll keep trying.

Heh. Cute idea.

I'd suggest going to TV Tome's Cheers site (http://www.tvtome.com/Cheers) and looking through the quotes posted for each episode. It would take up a lot of time, but it's probably the next best thing to finding actual transcripts.

Man - you guys are great! Thanks for the tips. I can definitely use these ones, and I can also go to that site you are mentioning. I can do things that take time, that is no problem. Seriously, I really appreciate this.

Best to you guys,
Marc

Good Luck

In S3 DVD extras there's one called "Virtual Vera" containing Norm's funniest remarks on his wife. The jokes included are obviously narrowed to that season but they're hilarous! I'll try to send some transcripts over the weekend.

-------------------------------------------------------

Cliff (referring to Carla): She's more than sore. She's hurt, offended and resentful.

Norm: Yeah... If she were wearing dirty bunny slippers she could be Vera.

As promised, here's the complete transcript of Virtual Vera.
Only two of these remarks refer to Vera's appearance ("Charles Bronson" and "dirty bunny slippers") but all of them are so funny I've decided to post them anyway. Enjoy!


Coach: Normie, how did you propose to Vera?
Norm: Well, I... You know something? I don’t think I did. Is there a loophole in this terrible tragedy?
Cliff: Not if you consummated it.
Norm: Egad! Why couldn’t we have this conversation yesterday?


Sam: I don’t mess around with married women.
Norm: Me neither.


Cliff (referring to Carla): She's more than sore. She's hurt, offended and resentful.
Norm: Yeah... If she were wearing dirty bunny slippers she could be Vera.


Larry: So, Norm, any luck impregnating Vera?
Norm: I miss the good old days when people used to ask me things like: “How are those Red Sox doing?”


Cliff: Poor Norm has been shooting blanks the last couple of months.
Norm: A little louder, we’ll dance to it.


Cliff: You’ve been trying for quite a few weeks and you’ve yet to strike. Can I ask you a personal question?
Norm: Heaven forbid this conversation gets personal now.


Cliff: What’s going on here, Norm? It’s been a few months now. I’m getting a little disappointed here.
Norm: Cliffie, I’m doing my darnedest, all right? Anything to get Vera off my back.
Cliff: Y our back? I think I see a little problem with your technique. Coach, can I have a pencil and a large piece of paper, please?


Norm: Doc says if something doesn’t happen soon, we may have to take a drastic step.
Cliff: You mean...?
Norm: (nods) Sleep together.


Cliff: Norm will be OK.
Carla: Hey, Norm isn’t at some party, you know? I mean, by now, he’s had all his valuables taken, been strip-searched, deloused and thrown into some dark cold cell with a sex-starved pervert.
Cliff: So? That’s how he describes a typical evening at home.


Larry: Hey, Norm, what’s the matter? Don’t you like having sex with your wife?
Norm: We’re not exactly what each other wants in a sexual partner, you know? For example, she wishes I looked a little more like... Charles Bronson. And I wish she looked a little... less like Charles Bronson.


Coach: Norm, it’s Vera. She says to hurry home, her cycle is at its peak.
Norm: Again? Her cycle has more peaks than the Adirondacks.
Cliff: All systems are go there, big fella.


Norm (at home, v.o.): Hi, sweetheart. Don’t look at me like that. I know we haven’t spent much time together lately, but a lot’s been happening at Cheers. (...) I can finish this story tomorrow. Come on, let’s you and me turn in. (Dog barks) No! You’ll wake up Vera!
Vera (upstairs): Norm?
Norm: Be right up, dear... Stupid dog.

Unreal. You guys are amazing. This is insane!

I wish I could thank you all personally, obviously that is impossible, but I would like to let you know that I am truly appreciative.

Its funny, things like elections happen and everybody get suspicious of everyone else and thinks that the red state people are bad, or the blue state people are bad. And that is just garbage, its just political views. But once you get past that political stuff, I do believe most people are good! And this reinforces it.

Thanks gang. If you should stumble upon any others, keep 'em coming! This is so fantastic.

best, M

did you ever find what episode this was on?