TJL
10-29-2004, 08:16 PM
Controversy erupted like Mount St. Helens with acid reflux this weekend when recording artist TJL was caught lip-synching his performance during his album release party.
Hundreds of bigwigs, celebrities, wannabees and Sitcoms Online members gathered at Radio City Music Hall to listen to Sitcoms Online Senior Member and master crooner TJL belt out some tunes from his debut disk “Hastily Assembled Pop Album Volume 1,” the dozen tourists hoping to catch a glimpse of the Rockettes kicking at something were turned away, much to their disappointment.
When TJL took the stage as his backup band played the opening licks of the first single “Buy My Album You Peons,” sharp-eyed audience members already were sensing things weren’t even close to up and up.
“First of all, TJL’s microphone wasn’t plugged in,” resident Sitcoms Online music scholar BuffySlayer79 noted. “Then I realized his microphone was actually a curling iron with a swizzle stick taped to the end.”
Other audience members began to doubt the validity of TJL’s talent during the follow-up tune “Written By Committee” when TJL drank an entire bottle of Aquafina while he kept singing.
“Okay, if this was a ventriloquist act, I’d be impressed,” cracked Vashti1999. “But if I wanted to watch a guy and a dummy on stage, I’d get tickets to see Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson.”
The audience flew into a murderous rage when some roadies brought out a life-size cardboard cutout of TJL, which sang the final song “Attention Whore” while the real TJL sat offstage reading a copy of Us Weekly.
“I’m totally shocked by this blatant act of fakery,” AKA shouted. “This is the worst thing to happen to music since Neil Sedaka was born!”
When the fires were extinguished and the looters collared, TJL’s attorney and road manager Barry Goldtoe held a press conference in front of the charred marquis of Radio City.
“TJL greatly regrets what happened today, but I can guarantee everyone out there who buys the CD that he was somewhere in the studio when every song was recorded, as well as the songs on the soon to be released Hastily Assembled Pop Album Volume 2 and Hastily Assembled Pop Album Volume 3 – The Abby Road Sessions. Now, who wants to buy a TJL Baby T?”
TJL was shuttered in his Midtown studio watching someone record his holiday CD “TJL and Willaim Shatner – Christmas at Warp Speed,” and could not be reached for comment.
;)
Hundreds of bigwigs, celebrities, wannabees and Sitcoms Online members gathered at Radio City Music Hall to listen to Sitcoms Online Senior Member and master crooner TJL belt out some tunes from his debut disk “Hastily Assembled Pop Album Volume 1,” the dozen tourists hoping to catch a glimpse of the Rockettes kicking at something were turned away, much to their disappointment.
When TJL took the stage as his backup band played the opening licks of the first single “Buy My Album You Peons,” sharp-eyed audience members already were sensing things weren’t even close to up and up.
“First of all, TJL’s microphone wasn’t plugged in,” resident Sitcoms Online music scholar BuffySlayer79 noted. “Then I realized his microphone was actually a curling iron with a swizzle stick taped to the end.”
Other audience members began to doubt the validity of TJL’s talent during the follow-up tune “Written By Committee” when TJL drank an entire bottle of Aquafina while he kept singing.
“Okay, if this was a ventriloquist act, I’d be impressed,” cracked Vashti1999. “But if I wanted to watch a guy and a dummy on stage, I’d get tickets to see Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson.”
The audience flew into a murderous rage when some roadies brought out a life-size cardboard cutout of TJL, which sang the final song “Attention Whore” while the real TJL sat offstage reading a copy of Us Weekly.
“I’m totally shocked by this blatant act of fakery,” AKA shouted. “This is the worst thing to happen to music since Neil Sedaka was born!”
When the fires were extinguished and the looters collared, TJL’s attorney and road manager Barry Goldtoe held a press conference in front of the charred marquis of Radio City.
“TJL greatly regrets what happened today, but I can guarantee everyone out there who buys the CD that he was somewhere in the studio when every song was recorded, as well as the songs on the soon to be released Hastily Assembled Pop Album Volume 2 and Hastily Assembled Pop Album Volume 3 – The Abby Road Sessions. Now, who wants to buy a TJL Baby T?”
TJL was shuttered in his Midtown studio watching someone record his holiday CD “TJL and Willaim Shatner – Christmas at Warp Speed,” and could not be reached for comment.
;)