I love the episode "Coffins For Sale" from Season 1. There are so many hilarious lines in that one. Lamont buys 2 coffins and Fred is afraid of having them in the house, so he goes and sleeps out in the truck. Later, Lamont starts getting nervous and keeps going outside to "check" on Fred.

LAMONT: Pop? Pop . . . you asleep?

FRED: No . . . no, I'm just checking my eyelids for cracks!!!

LAMONT: Say, Pop, if I get rid of those coffins, will you come back in the house and go to sleep?

FRED: Are you gonna get rid of them tonight?

LAMONT: No, the first thing tomorrow morning.

FRED: Then I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning.

LAMONT: Are you really gonna sleep out here all night Pop? What about your arthritis? You only have arthritis in your hands now. You sleep out here all night and you'll be a cripple from your neck down.

FRED: Then we'll be a perfect match, cause you a cripple from your neck UP!!!

This has to be the funniest episode ever.

Definitely my favorite. I laugh through the whole thing.

I love the interaction between Fred and the funeral home director.

Davis: "Sorry about that...cold hands warm chapel.
(as Fred reacts to his cold hands)
That is just a little joke from my profession."

Fred: "That's about as funny as a train wreck! Now that
would get you some business."


Davis: "Are they lined with copper or zinc...it makes a
differance you know."

Fred: "Not for the one who in getting in them."


Davis: "Do you know who the previous owner was?"

Fred: "It was a little old lady from Pasadena..ha ha ha..
Just a little joke from my profession."

The funeral director was funny. I liked the part when Lamont realized he was scared to sleep in the house alone.

Originally posted by glenny
I love the interaction between Fred and the funeral home director.


I liked it when Davis is checking the quality of the coffins & knocks on one of them & Fred replies: "There's no one in there. Dummy checked."

I also like when Lamont was trying to explain other things the coffins could be used for.

LAMONT: If we DON'T sell them, maybe we could use them around here.

FRED: (Disgusted) So what are we supposed to do with them, Dummy? Stretch out in 'em and watch TV?

LAMONT: Would you STOP that? I'm serious, Pop. We could cut the back out of one and make it into a sofa or a couch and the other one could be made into matching end tables. We ain't never had matching end tables. What do you think, Pop?

FRED: Don't call ME Pop. You don't sound like no son of MINE. You sound like the son of FRANKENSTEIN!

As Mr. Davis prepares to leave after Lamont refuses his offer of $30 for the coffins.

Mr. Davis: If you change your mind,please call me. It has been a slow week. Business is dead. I heard that one at the mortician's convention.