Zuzzy
08-14-2004, 06:18 PM
THE EMERSONS: EPISODE 2 – CLARK’S PARTY
Kris Emerson (16): Stella’s fraternal twin –Jack
Stella Emerson (16): Kris’s fraternal twin - Michelle
Ann Emerson (mom) - Katie
Paul Emerson (dad) - roby
Cassie Emerson: Kris and Stella’s little sister - Lynn
Clark Curran: Stella’s crush - Chad
Brian Fitzpatrick: boy who likes Stella - Jonathan
Mike Phillips: Kris’s best friend - TF
Alicia Simms: Stella’s best friend – Jackie
ACT I.
SCENE I.
(KRIS and MIKE are sitting in a classroom, both very tired and bored.)
MIKE: Could this class get any more boring?
KRIS: Yeah. Mrs. Fogarty could have stayed awake long enough to finish teaching us the
lesson.
MIKE: The worst thing is that it’s a Friday and we have nothing to do tonight.
(They notice a loud giggling coming from across the room. The camera cuts to CLARK’s desk, which is surrounded by girls, one of who is STELLA’s friend ALICIA.)
RANDOM GIRL: That’s fascinating!
CLARK: [touching his coat sleeve] And then I got this suede jacket and it really helped
me pull together the “Clark look.”
(The girls giggle again.)
ALICIA: I can’t wait for your party tonight, Clark!
RANDOM GIRL: Me neither!
(The camera cuts back to KRIS and MIKE, who have disgusted looks on their faces.)
KRIS: How does he do it?
MIKE: Yeah, what does he have that we don’t?
KRIS: Well, for one thing, a suede jacket.
MIKE: Man, I wish there was some way we could get invited to his party. There’ll be
tons of girls there.
KRIS: But they’ll all be surrounding him – I mean, he’s charming and attractive, and he has a great personality…
(MIKE raises one eyebrow.)
KRIS: [defensively] Hey, don’t look at me that way!
MIKE: You wanna go play a trick on Brian Fitzpatrick?
KRIS: Nah, I feel bad enough for him as it is.
(The camera cuts to BRIAN, who is reading an encyclopedia.)
BRIAN: Wow, this edition is so much more concise than last year’s. But nothing tops
1998 – that was a VERY good year for Encyclopedia Britannica.
(CLARK suddenly approaches MIKE and KRIS.)
CLARK: Hey, are you guys busy tonight?
KRIS: Of course we are! We’ve got – dates – with seniors – who are foreign exchange
students – from – Uzbekistan.
MIKE: [in a stage whisper, voice squeaking] What the hell are you doing? And what the
hell is Uzbekistan?!
CLARK: That’s too bad…I was hoping you two could come to my party.
KRIS: Well, we could probably make it, if we end our dates early…
MIKE: Yes, we’ll come!!!
CLARK: Good. Some of the other – [runs his hand through his hair] popular guys
can’t make it, and I figured, why not ask some less popular people to come? It
would be the generous thing to do.
KRIS: We would be honored to attend, Your Majesty.
CLARK: Good. It starts at eight.
(The bell rings. CLARK walks away, followed by a group of girls, and then KRIS and MIKE stand up.)
KRIS: I can’t believe this. We’re going to Clark’s party.
MIKE: [squealing] I know!!! But there’s still one thing I need to know.
KRIS: What is it?
MIKE: What’s Uzbekistan?
(As the two walk out of the room, KRIS answers him.)
KRIS: I’m not sure. I heard it in geography class once when I woke up for a few minutes.
SCENE II.
(At the Emersons’ house later that afternoon, CASSIE comes in the front door into the empty living room holding a gray cat.)
CASSIE: I wonder where everybody is. I’m so glad I found you, kitty…and you don’t
have a collar, which means nobody else owns you and you can stay with us
forever and ever. The whole family will love you.
(CASSIE puts the cat down on the floor and it scampers upstairs. ANN enters the room from the kitchen, talking on the cordless phone.)
ANN: [talking into phone] Uh-huh. Well, be home by six and the two of us can
go out for dinner. Stella will watch Cassie and Kris.
CASSIE: Mom, guess what I found!
ANN: Hold on a second, Cassie. [into phone] Your brother called earlier. What did he
say? He said –
CASSIE: You’ll never believe it, Mom.
ANN: Go have a snack. I just got cookie dough ice cream. [pause; into phone] No, Paul,
I was talking to Cassie. Your brother didn’t tell me to go have a snack.
(CASSIE sadly walks into the kitchen. ANN sneezes.)
ANN: Oh, no, I think my allergies are starting up again. I have to go out and run some errands, I’ll see you later.
(ANN puts the phone down and walks out the door, holding it open so STELLA and ALICIA can come in the house.)
ALICIA: I am so excited for Clark’s party!
STELLA: Clark’s having a party?
ALICIA: You didn’t know?
STELLA: Would I have just asked that question if I’d known?
ALICIA: I don’t know, would you?
STELLA: I can’t believe I wasn’t invited.
ALICIA: Don’t feel bad. Only the popular girls were invited.
STELLA: That makes me feel so much better.
ALICIA: Glad to help.
STELLA: I just wish there was some way I could be there…
ALICIA: I know how to get you to that party.
STELLA: [excited] You know how to convince Clark to invite me?
ALICIA: No. I was thinking you could stand across the street with a pair of binoculars.
(STELLA rolls her eyes. KRIS and MIKE come into the house.)
KRIS: I love Fridays. There’s always somewhere for guys like me to go.
STELLA: Detention?
KRIS: No, Stella. Parties. And tonight, Mike and I are going to Clark Curran’s.
STELLA: You two got invited?
MIKE: Yep.
ALICIA: [laughing] Did you find the invitations in a dumpster or something?
STELLA: And if so, which dumpster?
KRIS: Clark asked us personally to attend.
MIKE: Yeah, and we’re going right after our dates with those foreign exchange students Kris found for us.
KRIS: Mike, I made that up.
MIKE: [sadly] Oh. Well, at least we’ve got Clark’s party.
(KRIS and MIKE leave the room.)
ALICIA: I’ve gotta go. It’s too bad about tonight.
STELLA: Yeah.
ALICIA: If only you were popular like me…
STELLA: Just go.
(ALICIA exits and a tear runs down STELLA’s cheek.)
[commercial break]
ACT II.
SCENE III.
(ANN and PAUL are in the bathroom, getting ready to go out. They’re both dressed-up.)
ANN: How can I go out like this? My eyes are all red and puffy.
PAUL: Yeah, you look like a zombie.
ANN: [insulted] Thanks a lot. Now I’m going to tell you something that’s really going to
scare you – see that hair on the counter? It’s gray.
PAUL: What are you talking about? It’s not gray. [looks at it closely] It’s – gray.
ANN: Okay, Stella knows when Cassie has to go to bed, and Kris is going to a party. I
know he’s grounded, but he never gets invited to parties, so I figured he should
go.
PAUL: It can’t be. I’m not old enough to have gray hairs.
(ANN starts sneezing uncontrollably.)
ANN: I can’t figure out what I’m allergic to!
PAUL: I can’t go out like this. I need to dye my hair.
ANN: Paul, don’t overreact. [sneezes again] I must be dying!
(STELLA enters the room, standing near the door.)
PAUL: Stella, get me some acrylic paint and a paintbrush.
ANN: [sounding nasal] Get me the Benadryl from downstairs. And ignore your father.
STELLA: Okay. You know what’s weird? The armchair Dad always sits in is covered
with gray hair.
ANN: [turning to Paul] Maybe I’m allergic to your dander.
PAUL: So now I’m going gray AND I shed?
STELLA: Well, um…enjoy your dinner out.
(ANN rushes out of the room, sneezing, and PAUL runs after her. STELLA walks out into the hallway, and CASSIE comes up to her.)
CASSIE: What’s wrong, Stella? You look sad.
STELLA: It’s nothing. This guy invited Kris to his party, and he didn’t invite me. It’s not
like I like this guy or anything, I just don’t understand why he’d invite my loser
brother and not me. Plus, Alicia was invited, too. I don’t get it.
CASSIE: That’s a really long nothing.
STELLA: I’m sorry to bore you with that story, I’m just really mad right now.
CASSIE: I know how to cheer you up. I got a cat today!
STELLA: So that explains the hair on the furniture and Mom’s allergic reaction.
CASSIE: It’s such a cute cat though…I hope Mom and Dad let me keep it.
STELLA: Do Mom and Dad know it’s in the house?
CASSIE: No.
STELLA: A word of advice: don’t tell them.
(The two go downstairs.)
SCENE IV.
(KRIS and MIKE walk up to CLARK’s house. CLARK opens the door and lets a kid who’s ahead of them walk in the front door. When they get to the door, CLARK stops them.)
CLARK: You can’t come in this way.
KRIS: But you let that guy in.
CLARK: Go in the back door. [whispering] That’s where the real party’s going on.
MIKE: [whispering] Okay.
(KRIS and MIKE walk around the house and knock on the back door.)
CLARK’s voice: It’s open!
KRIS: I wonder who else was invited back here.
MIKE: There’d better be girls. I put on cologne before I left the house.
KRIS: [sniffing] You call that cologne? It smells like toilet water.
MIKE: Actually, it’s my grandma’s old perfume, but I assumed all that stuff smells the
same anyway.
KRIS: Never – and I mean NEVER - assume anything, Mike.
MIKE: Are you ready to go in?
KRIS: Yeah. Are you?
MIKE: Uh-huh.
(KRIS slowly opens the door. The camera cuts to a view from inside the house. As KRIS and MIKE come in, a giant bucket on top of the door tips over, covering them with brown mush. A giant group of people, including CLARK, laugh and point.)
CLARK: Suckers!
KRIS: Yuck! This stuff smells like dog food!
MIKE: [licks his finger] And it tastes like it, too. Hearty beef flavor…good chunky texture…mild aftertaste…
KRIS: Shut up, Mike. Clark, why did you do this to us?
CLARK: You were the only losers who fell for it. Even Brian Fitzpatrick was suspicious
when I asked him to come.
KRIS: This is so humiliating.
MIKE: Let’s go.
(KRIS and MIKE walk out the door amidst jeers and laughter. They’re silent until they get to the sidewalk in front of the house, where STELLA is standing, looking into the window through a pair of binoculars. CASSIE is standing next to her.)
CASSIE: Are you done yet?
STELLA: Almost…
KRIS: Spying on the party?
STELLA: Yeah, but everyone left the living room for some reason –
(STELLA turns and realizes her brother and his friend are standing there, covered in brown gunk.)
STELLA: What happened to you?
MIKE: It turns out Clark only asked us to come so he could play a trick on us.
STELLA: Really?
KRIS: Why else would we look like this?
STELLA: That’s great!
KRIS: Huh?
STELLA: Maybe I wasn’t popular enough for Clark to invite me, but at least he doesn’t
think I’m a loser like you guys.
CASSIE: Can we go now?
KRIS: Yep.
(The four walk off down the sidewalk towards home.)
SCENE V.
(ANN and PAUL walk in the front door.)
ANN: We’re home!
PAUL: The kids must all be in bed. It’s almost midnight.
ANN: We should go out dancing more often. Hey, you know what I just realized? My
allergies went away as soon as we left the house. Isn’t that odd?
(ANN sneezes loudly. The gray cat comes around the couch and walks up to them.)
ANN: How’d that cat get in here? Ugh, my eyes are tearing up again.
PAUL: That’s funny. You’re allergic to something…gray hair is all over the furniture…
and now we find a cat in the house. What an awful string of bad luck.
ANN: Paul, I’m severely allergic to cats. And that’s what been leaving hair all over the
place.
PAUL: You mean I’m not going gray?
ANN: Nope. Well, except for that little patch of hair near the top of your head.
PAUL: What?!
(PAUL claws at his head and runs up the stairs. A few moments later, CASSIE comes downstairs.)
CASSIE: Your sneezing woke me up.
ANN: Cassie, are you responsible for this cat being in the house?
CASSIE: Um…no. But isn’t it cute?
ANN: It looks like a stray to me. And we can’t keep it. It could have fleas.
CASSIE: Yeah, I guess so…Kris didn’t know any better when he brought it in.
ANN: Kris never knows any better. Now, it can stay here overnight, but tomorrow, we’re
taking it to an animal shelter.
CASSIE: Okay.
(The two walk upstairs. Halfway up, ANN stops and sniffs the air.)
ANN: Did you guys have hamburgers?
CASSIE: Uh….yes.
(They go upstairs and the scene fades.)
Kris Emerson (16): Stella’s fraternal twin –Jack
Stella Emerson (16): Kris’s fraternal twin - Michelle
Ann Emerson (mom) - Katie
Paul Emerson (dad) - roby
Cassie Emerson: Kris and Stella’s little sister - Lynn
Clark Curran: Stella’s crush - Chad
Brian Fitzpatrick: boy who likes Stella - Jonathan
Mike Phillips: Kris’s best friend - TF
Alicia Simms: Stella’s best friend – Jackie
ACT I.
SCENE I.
(KRIS and MIKE are sitting in a classroom, both very tired and bored.)
MIKE: Could this class get any more boring?
KRIS: Yeah. Mrs. Fogarty could have stayed awake long enough to finish teaching us the
lesson.
MIKE: The worst thing is that it’s a Friday and we have nothing to do tonight.
(They notice a loud giggling coming from across the room. The camera cuts to CLARK’s desk, which is surrounded by girls, one of who is STELLA’s friend ALICIA.)
RANDOM GIRL: That’s fascinating!
CLARK: [touching his coat sleeve] And then I got this suede jacket and it really helped
me pull together the “Clark look.”
(The girls giggle again.)
ALICIA: I can’t wait for your party tonight, Clark!
RANDOM GIRL: Me neither!
(The camera cuts back to KRIS and MIKE, who have disgusted looks on their faces.)
KRIS: How does he do it?
MIKE: Yeah, what does he have that we don’t?
KRIS: Well, for one thing, a suede jacket.
MIKE: Man, I wish there was some way we could get invited to his party. There’ll be
tons of girls there.
KRIS: But they’ll all be surrounding him – I mean, he’s charming and attractive, and he has a great personality…
(MIKE raises one eyebrow.)
KRIS: [defensively] Hey, don’t look at me that way!
MIKE: You wanna go play a trick on Brian Fitzpatrick?
KRIS: Nah, I feel bad enough for him as it is.
(The camera cuts to BRIAN, who is reading an encyclopedia.)
BRIAN: Wow, this edition is so much more concise than last year’s. But nothing tops
1998 – that was a VERY good year for Encyclopedia Britannica.
(CLARK suddenly approaches MIKE and KRIS.)
CLARK: Hey, are you guys busy tonight?
KRIS: Of course we are! We’ve got – dates – with seniors – who are foreign exchange
students – from – Uzbekistan.
MIKE: [in a stage whisper, voice squeaking] What the hell are you doing? And what the
hell is Uzbekistan?!
CLARK: That’s too bad…I was hoping you two could come to my party.
KRIS: Well, we could probably make it, if we end our dates early…
MIKE: Yes, we’ll come!!!
CLARK: Good. Some of the other – [runs his hand through his hair] popular guys
can’t make it, and I figured, why not ask some less popular people to come? It
would be the generous thing to do.
KRIS: We would be honored to attend, Your Majesty.
CLARK: Good. It starts at eight.
(The bell rings. CLARK walks away, followed by a group of girls, and then KRIS and MIKE stand up.)
KRIS: I can’t believe this. We’re going to Clark’s party.
MIKE: [squealing] I know!!! But there’s still one thing I need to know.
KRIS: What is it?
MIKE: What’s Uzbekistan?
(As the two walk out of the room, KRIS answers him.)
KRIS: I’m not sure. I heard it in geography class once when I woke up for a few minutes.
SCENE II.
(At the Emersons’ house later that afternoon, CASSIE comes in the front door into the empty living room holding a gray cat.)
CASSIE: I wonder where everybody is. I’m so glad I found you, kitty…and you don’t
have a collar, which means nobody else owns you and you can stay with us
forever and ever. The whole family will love you.
(CASSIE puts the cat down on the floor and it scampers upstairs. ANN enters the room from the kitchen, talking on the cordless phone.)
ANN: [talking into phone] Uh-huh. Well, be home by six and the two of us can
go out for dinner. Stella will watch Cassie and Kris.
CASSIE: Mom, guess what I found!
ANN: Hold on a second, Cassie. [into phone] Your brother called earlier. What did he
say? He said –
CASSIE: You’ll never believe it, Mom.
ANN: Go have a snack. I just got cookie dough ice cream. [pause; into phone] No, Paul,
I was talking to Cassie. Your brother didn’t tell me to go have a snack.
(CASSIE sadly walks into the kitchen. ANN sneezes.)
ANN: Oh, no, I think my allergies are starting up again. I have to go out and run some errands, I’ll see you later.
(ANN puts the phone down and walks out the door, holding it open so STELLA and ALICIA can come in the house.)
ALICIA: I am so excited for Clark’s party!
STELLA: Clark’s having a party?
ALICIA: You didn’t know?
STELLA: Would I have just asked that question if I’d known?
ALICIA: I don’t know, would you?
STELLA: I can’t believe I wasn’t invited.
ALICIA: Don’t feel bad. Only the popular girls were invited.
STELLA: That makes me feel so much better.
ALICIA: Glad to help.
STELLA: I just wish there was some way I could be there…
ALICIA: I know how to get you to that party.
STELLA: [excited] You know how to convince Clark to invite me?
ALICIA: No. I was thinking you could stand across the street with a pair of binoculars.
(STELLA rolls her eyes. KRIS and MIKE come into the house.)
KRIS: I love Fridays. There’s always somewhere for guys like me to go.
STELLA: Detention?
KRIS: No, Stella. Parties. And tonight, Mike and I are going to Clark Curran’s.
STELLA: You two got invited?
MIKE: Yep.
ALICIA: [laughing] Did you find the invitations in a dumpster or something?
STELLA: And if so, which dumpster?
KRIS: Clark asked us personally to attend.
MIKE: Yeah, and we’re going right after our dates with those foreign exchange students Kris found for us.
KRIS: Mike, I made that up.
MIKE: [sadly] Oh. Well, at least we’ve got Clark’s party.
(KRIS and MIKE leave the room.)
ALICIA: I’ve gotta go. It’s too bad about tonight.
STELLA: Yeah.
ALICIA: If only you were popular like me…
STELLA: Just go.
(ALICIA exits and a tear runs down STELLA’s cheek.)
[commercial break]
ACT II.
SCENE III.
(ANN and PAUL are in the bathroom, getting ready to go out. They’re both dressed-up.)
ANN: How can I go out like this? My eyes are all red and puffy.
PAUL: Yeah, you look like a zombie.
ANN: [insulted] Thanks a lot. Now I’m going to tell you something that’s really going to
scare you – see that hair on the counter? It’s gray.
PAUL: What are you talking about? It’s not gray. [looks at it closely] It’s – gray.
ANN: Okay, Stella knows when Cassie has to go to bed, and Kris is going to a party. I
know he’s grounded, but he never gets invited to parties, so I figured he should
go.
PAUL: It can’t be. I’m not old enough to have gray hairs.
(ANN starts sneezing uncontrollably.)
ANN: I can’t figure out what I’m allergic to!
PAUL: I can’t go out like this. I need to dye my hair.
ANN: Paul, don’t overreact. [sneezes again] I must be dying!
(STELLA enters the room, standing near the door.)
PAUL: Stella, get me some acrylic paint and a paintbrush.
ANN: [sounding nasal] Get me the Benadryl from downstairs. And ignore your father.
STELLA: Okay. You know what’s weird? The armchair Dad always sits in is covered
with gray hair.
ANN: [turning to Paul] Maybe I’m allergic to your dander.
PAUL: So now I’m going gray AND I shed?
STELLA: Well, um…enjoy your dinner out.
(ANN rushes out of the room, sneezing, and PAUL runs after her. STELLA walks out into the hallway, and CASSIE comes up to her.)
CASSIE: What’s wrong, Stella? You look sad.
STELLA: It’s nothing. This guy invited Kris to his party, and he didn’t invite me. It’s not
like I like this guy or anything, I just don’t understand why he’d invite my loser
brother and not me. Plus, Alicia was invited, too. I don’t get it.
CASSIE: That’s a really long nothing.
STELLA: I’m sorry to bore you with that story, I’m just really mad right now.
CASSIE: I know how to cheer you up. I got a cat today!
STELLA: So that explains the hair on the furniture and Mom’s allergic reaction.
CASSIE: It’s such a cute cat though…I hope Mom and Dad let me keep it.
STELLA: Do Mom and Dad know it’s in the house?
CASSIE: No.
STELLA: A word of advice: don’t tell them.
(The two go downstairs.)
SCENE IV.
(KRIS and MIKE walk up to CLARK’s house. CLARK opens the door and lets a kid who’s ahead of them walk in the front door. When they get to the door, CLARK stops them.)
CLARK: You can’t come in this way.
KRIS: But you let that guy in.
CLARK: Go in the back door. [whispering] That’s where the real party’s going on.
MIKE: [whispering] Okay.
(KRIS and MIKE walk around the house and knock on the back door.)
CLARK’s voice: It’s open!
KRIS: I wonder who else was invited back here.
MIKE: There’d better be girls. I put on cologne before I left the house.
KRIS: [sniffing] You call that cologne? It smells like toilet water.
MIKE: Actually, it’s my grandma’s old perfume, but I assumed all that stuff smells the
same anyway.
KRIS: Never – and I mean NEVER - assume anything, Mike.
MIKE: Are you ready to go in?
KRIS: Yeah. Are you?
MIKE: Uh-huh.
(KRIS slowly opens the door. The camera cuts to a view from inside the house. As KRIS and MIKE come in, a giant bucket on top of the door tips over, covering them with brown mush. A giant group of people, including CLARK, laugh and point.)
CLARK: Suckers!
KRIS: Yuck! This stuff smells like dog food!
MIKE: [licks his finger] And it tastes like it, too. Hearty beef flavor…good chunky texture…mild aftertaste…
KRIS: Shut up, Mike. Clark, why did you do this to us?
CLARK: You were the only losers who fell for it. Even Brian Fitzpatrick was suspicious
when I asked him to come.
KRIS: This is so humiliating.
MIKE: Let’s go.
(KRIS and MIKE walk out the door amidst jeers and laughter. They’re silent until they get to the sidewalk in front of the house, where STELLA is standing, looking into the window through a pair of binoculars. CASSIE is standing next to her.)
CASSIE: Are you done yet?
STELLA: Almost…
KRIS: Spying on the party?
STELLA: Yeah, but everyone left the living room for some reason –
(STELLA turns and realizes her brother and his friend are standing there, covered in brown gunk.)
STELLA: What happened to you?
MIKE: It turns out Clark only asked us to come so he could play a trick on us.
STELLA: Really?
KRIS: Why else would we look like this?
STELLA: That’s great!
KRIS: Huh?
STELLA: Maybe I wasn’t popular enough for Clark to invite me, but at least he doesn’t
think I’m a loser like you guys.
CASSIE: Can we go now?
KRIS: Yep.
(The four walk off down the sidewalk towards home.)
SCENE V.
(ANN and PAUL walk in the front door.)
ANN: We’re home!
PAUL: The kids must all be in bed. It’s almost midnight.
ANN: We should go out dancing more often. Hey, you know what I just realized? My
allergies went away as soon as we left the house. Isn’t that odd?
(ANN sneezes loudly. The gray cat comes around the couch and walks up to them.)
ANN: How’d that cat get in here? Ugh, my eyes are tearing up again.
PAUL: That’s funny. You’re allergic to something…gray hair is all over the furniture…
and now we find a cat in the house. What an awful string of bad luck.
ANN: Paul, I’m severely allergic to cats. And that’s what been leaving hair all over the
place.
PAUL: You mean I’m not going gray?
ANN: Nope. Well, except for that little patch of hair near the top of your head.
PAUL: What?!
(PAUL claws at his head and runs up the stairs. A few moments later, CASSIE comes downstairs.)
CASSIE: Your sneezing woke me up.
ANN: Cassie, are you responsible for this cat being in the house?
CASSIE: Um…no. But isn’t it cute?
ANN: It looks like a stray to me. And we can’t keep it. It could have fleas.
CASSIE: Yeah, I guess so…Kris didn’t know any better when he brought it in.
ANN: Kris never knows any better. Now, it can stay here overnight, but tomorrow, we’re
taking it to an animal shelter.
CASSIE: Okay.
(The two walk upstairs. Halfway up, ANN stops and sniffs the air.)
ANN: Did you guys have hamburgers?
CASSIE: Uh….yes.
(They go upstairs and the scene fades.)