does anyone remember the lyrics to the theme song, that (i guess) nick at nite made up to advertise the show about 5 years ago....?
i can't remember all of the 2nd verse...help!

So sorry this answer is three months late, but I only just now schmoozed the message board.

As far as I can remember, the fake lyrics go:

"Dick Van Dyke is Robert Petrie
Who comes home, hugs Laura
And accidentally trips over that thing

"But sometimes he doesn't do that
Instead... he sees it
And walks around it with a lively step

"And there's yet another version
He clears... the ottoman
But ironically he stumbles on the rug

[And then the rest is very fuzzy in my memory, but I think it was a rhythmless cramming of many syllables to say "And then he sees Buddy and Sally and then Richie comes into the living room too..."]

"And that is the beginning of the show!"

[And that MIGHT be the end of the lyrics. It HAS been a few years, hasn't it? It's much easier to remember Nick at Nite's fake lyrics to the Bob Newhart theme, which went "Bob Newhart/Bob Newhart/Bob Newhart/ Bob Newhart/Bob Newhart/Bob Newhart/Bob Newhart/Bob Newhart/Bob Newhart..."]

:O) Leighanne

Dick Van Dyke is Robert Petrie,
Who comes home,hugs Laura,
And accidentaly trips over the thing.

But he doesn't always do it
Because they changed it.
Sometimes he sidesteps with a nifty step.

And there's yet another verson,
He sidesteps the automan
And accidentaly stumbles on the rug.

After that,Rob and Buddy and Sally shake hands-
And the episode title comes up(obscuring Richie)
And you'll notice Rob shakes hands with Buddy again!
And that's it@

Dick Van Dyke is Robert Petrie
Who comes home, hugs Laura
And accidently trips over that thing
But sometimes he doesn't do that
Because, they changed it
Instead he skirts it with a nifty step

There's yet another version
He clears the ottomon
But ironically he stummbles on the rug

After that Rob and Sally, Buddy shake hands
The episode title comes up (obscruring Richie)
And notice Rob shakes hands with Buddy again
And that it.

Diiiick vaaan Dyke is Robert Petrie
Who comes in
hugs Laura
and then he trips over that thing
and there's yet another version
where he misses it
and sidesteps it with a nifty step (then they show an arrow pointing at his feet with the word NIFTY)
And there's yet another version
where he misses it; entirely
but ironically he trips over the ruuug!
then Rob and Buddy and Sally shake hands
then the episode title comes uuup (obscuring Richie)
aand notice Rob shakes hands with Buddy again! (and a circle appears around their hands)

And that's it!

I think I like them better than the real lyrics.