I think we should try this, ive seen it on some other message boards and it looks pretty fun. I guess we would all choose a character to play and start a scene and act it out and see how far it gets. If we do this, I'll be Dan

I'm David...

David: (worriedly) uh... Mr. Conner?

Dan: David, I'm watchin TV can it wait?

David: Well uh Mr. Conner, it is sort of important.

Dan: Oh go- (groan and sigh) What?

David: Can you get me some condoms?

Dan: (while getting up, knocks over chair, towers over David) WHAT?!?!?!?

David: uh, um , well..., uh never mind. ::scurries away::

we need some more members to come in to play other characters!

Dan: (sits down) ROSEANNE!!!

(we now need a Roseanne)

should I switch my part to Roseanne? or should we just wait for somebody?

I'll be Roseanne

Roseanne: (screaming from the bedroom) WHAT?!!!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Roseanne fan forever*
(My favorite quotes)

Crystal: How do you like your marshmallows, Roseanne?
Roseanne: Like my men, crispy on the outside and stuck to the end of a fork

Becky: No one could eat this crud.
Dan: Hey, if you don't finish your crud, you're not gonna get any crap for dessert.

Dan: [to D.J] Eating cardboard can ruin your life. You could end up in the street living in a box. Then you'll eat the box, and you'll be homeless. :lol:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EDIT:
Poo...I'm too late to be Roseanne.

I get dibs on Darlene. :) :D

oh no, two roseannes!

anyway

Dan: David asked me for condoms!

Roseanne: Absoluty not! First Becky now you- am I right Dan?




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Roseanne fan forever*
(My favorite quotes)

Crystal: How do you like your marshmallows, Roseanne?
Roseanne: Like my men, crispy on the outside and stuck to the end of a fork

Becky: No one could eat this crud.
Dan: Hey, if you don't finish your crud, you're not gonna get any crap for dessert.

Dan: [to D.J] Eating cardboard can ruin your life. You could end up in the street living in a box. Then you'll eat the box, and you'll be homeless. :lo:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Becky's too young to be having sex too. Them Healy brothers are just a bunch of trouble!

But I wanted to be Darlene!!!!:(

Nobodys Darlene yet, you can be her

Someone just said they had dibs on her!

Originally posted by dOMeStIC_ROseAnnE
EDIT:
Poo...I'm too late to be Roseanne.

I get dibs on Darlene. :) :D

oops didnt see that

Originally posted by brainlesschild09
oops didnt see that ;)

You can be Darlene, but I get DJ! Even though I get 3 minutes worth of lines during the show, it's better than nothing. lmao! :lol:

And since I'm DJ. I'm going to give him some airtime. Hope it's okay.



*DJ walks from the kitchen through the living room picking up on the conversation...*

DJ to Dan: Dad, what's a condom?

Dan: They're uh, um little balloons, that only married grown-ups can use.

DJ: Do you use them?

Dan: uh, shouldnt you be at school?

DJ: But It's Saturday.

Dan: aw crap, um, uh, DJ, why dont you go ask your mother?

DJ: Mom told me to ask you.

Dan: Uh, yeah, I use em DJ, now no more questions.

DJ: Okay! See ya.

Dan: Well that's one problem taken care of... now... DARLENE!!!

***SUBSTITUTE ROSEANNE, don't know if I can do this, but I am.***


ROSEANNE: Way to go DAN! Now for all DJ knows, a condom is something you twist into a dog or an elephant And believe me, I've never seen Bozo make an elephant out of a condom.

Dan: well the kid comes up to me askin what condoms are and Im not gonna tell him what they're really for! Now, where the hell's Darlene?

Jackie: (comes in through back door) Did I just hear you say that you're looking for Darlene, because I just saw her out near the garage with David.

(sees looks on Dan and Roseanne's face)

(in her kinda nervous, inquisitive voice) :"Uh-oh, what's.. going on?"

::: still sitting in garage with David :::

Jackie, you have a house, go away, this is a family matter.

Jackie: Well, hold on now, Dan, I'm family...

Well just because you're my wife's sister doesnt mean you can just come over here any time and invade our house. And besides, this doesnt have anything to do with you, so just go home or watch TV or somethin.

Jackie: Fine, okay Dan, if you don't want to tell me then just.. don't tell me. I understand.

(turns to Roseanne)

So, what's going on?

Jackie! I told you to leave!

Jackie: Okay, fine, I'm outa here. Have a nice day...

(goes out by the garage to Darlene and David)

Hi guys! What's happening?

[David walks in]

David: Mrs. Conner? [David walks in to the room and sees Dan and walks back out to the garage]

David, wait! I'm not through with you yet, come here.

(David walks back, looking at the ground)

David: What, Mr. Conner?

Are you and my daughter having sex?

David: well, uh, Mr. Conner, you see, umm... well, its kind of, uh...

(towers over David) YES!?!?

Roseanne: Just answer the damn question David!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Roseanne fan forever*
(My favorite quotes)

Crystal: How do you like your marshmallows, Roseanne?
Roseanne: Like my men, crispy on the outside and stuck to the end of a fork

Becky: No one could eat this crud.
Dan: Hey, if you don't finish your crud, you're not gonna get any crap for dessert.

Dan: [to D.J] Eating cardboard can ruin your life. You could end up in the street living in a box. Then you'll eat the box, and you'll be homeless. :lol:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

David: yes we are but not with the daughter you think...

David? What?? What the hell are you talking about???

Dan: (Towers over David) Are you- having sex with-- Becky?!?

:: David begins crying ::

DAVID!!! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS!! BECKY!!!!!!

:: David runs out of the house ::

we need a becky now

Do you need a Lecy Goranson Becky or a Sarah Chalke Becky? :D

your choice. We just need a Becky

Well, I'm already Jackie so sorry, can't help there. (Though I feel I should have picked a male role, since I am a male and not a female, lol).

I don't know who I am going to kill first... David or that skank sister of mine!!!

Well, Darlene, you've always wanted to kill your sister, so today's your lucky day. I'm gonna go take care of David.

*joins in as (1st) Becky

[Becky runs in]

Becky: Yes dad?

What are you doing sleeping with David?

Becky: What are you talking about, Dad?
I'm not sleeping with anyone.

Well that little twerp David says you are, and you lied about seeing Mark, and David's too scared to lie to me, so you must be lying, now ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH DAVID!?!?!?

:::: dives for Becky ::::

Becky: N-no dad, all those Healy boys are liars, you know that. Would you trust David over your own daughter?

I'LL KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE TRAMP!!!!

Becky: Oh, shove it Darlene! You're just jealous cause you've had the hots for Mark since the day you first met him. I havent done anything with David, that boy is just another lying Healy boy, just like my husband.

This is- I can't- I- (sigh) I'm goin to the Lobo.

Are you kidding? You think Mark is smart enough to lie? Have you MET your husband??

Becky: Mark is a little special, but he's no idiot... aaw it hurts even to say it, Dad! Wait up! *runs after Dan to the Lobo*

GET BACK HERE!!!

Becky, I don't wanna have anything to do with you right now. Now go back inside and take the wrath from your sister!

::: grabs Becky by the hair as she goes back inside :::

*Becky ducks, grabs Darlene and throws her out through a window

Okay, this thing is just getting WAY too wierd!!!!!

You threw me out a window? LOL!!!

LMAO! I say we start all over with a new situation. It got too serious and then just weird. lol. Anybody else agree?

yes

yeah.. maybe no more "who slept with who" discussions.

hmm... then what should we do?

I say the Conner's win a $300 shopping spree at Rodbell's...I'll start it off and then everybody can pick up their characters again.

The setting starts off in the Conner's kitchen. It's a saturday morning Dan is setting down to breakfast and the morning paper. Roseanne walks in to the kitchen with a letter in the mail from Rodbell's Shopping Center...

ROSEANNE: Dan, look apparently we're a preferred customer.

DAN: I guess they forgot the time DJ got his head stuck in that shoe rack.

ROSEANNE: *laugh* They don't know who they're talking to. Oh my god, Dan! LOOK! We won a $300 shopping spree at Rodbell's!

DAN: What? At last, I can buy that years supply of socks I've always wanted. *sarcasm*

ROSEANNE: No, Dan. I got dibs on cheese wizz and pizza rolls. Only the white trashiest stuff for the Conner family. That reminds me...Call Jackie, get the kids...We're going on a shopping spree!

----Rolls intro credits---
The new setting is at Rodbell's. Roseanne, Dan, Jackie, Becky, Darlene, and DJ are there...

(Everyone can pick up their original characters now.)

Dan: ::groan:: oh jeez Roseanne. Why did I have to come here?

Do we still need charectars cause I'd be happy to take someone

Some people aren't as interested I guess. lol
I say we do some re-casting. :D

I'll still be Dan

Ok if we still need people I'll be Becky.

And I will be Jackie (I changed my mind about being Roseanne someone else can choose her)


****************************************************
~Some good Roseanne qoutes~

[During a tornado]
Roseanne: What's the worst that can happen? So the tornado picks up our house and slams it down in a better neighborhood.


D.J.: I haven't said anything in two days. Nobody's cared.
Roseanne: Oh, that can't be.
D.J.: Uh-huh. The last thing I said was "Cheerios".


Bev: Where do you keep your citrus fruit?
Roseanne: I think there's an orange under the dryer...
****************************************************

Originally posted by dOMeStIC_ROseAnnE

The new setting is at Rodbell's. Roseanne, Dan, Jackie, Becky, Darlene, and DJ are there...


Becky- (hiding her face) This is so embarassing

lets make it fun, there will be TWO DJs (sal and michael), i will be sal:


DJ (#1) walks in to rodbells and shouts across the store to Roseanne

Mom, CAN I HAVE SOME PIE NOW?

Becky-(still trying to cover her face) Come on DJ I'll get you some pie. (grabs his wrist and pulls him behind her)

Dan: What the hell's wrong with her? We're offering her money! Since when does she turn that down? And what's with the two DJs. (sighs) I think the mall is making me all messed up. I'm gettin' out of here (walks into the luncheonette, walks out again) uh... after I get a snack (walks in again)

Nancy: Hi! I didn't think I'd see you here Roseanne! Whats the occasion?

Crystal: Hey Y'all!!! Me and Nancy are just here shop...she got this thing in the mail, and picked me to be her partner. Now me and her are supposed to go against some stupid white trash family in a $300 dollar challenge or something. Wonder who they are?

Jackie: Hey Nancy why didn't you pick me to be your partner?

(I guess I'll be Nancy until DuhDuh539 gets back...)

NANCY: Well, you see Jackie. I've heard about these types of things before so I figured I better partner up with someone who can do a lot of really hard work so I can stand around and look good. So after nobody answered the phone at your house I decided to call Crystal.

Crystal: Yup, thats me! A hard worker! well, you know, actually Nancy's first choice was Bonnie...But her husband needed someone to keep him company. Hey! Is that a ticket I see in your hand Roseanne? Thats the same one we got in the mail....Don't tell me it's you guys!

I guess this takes place somewhere in the 4th season?

well if its in the 4th season...


Dan: (comes out of diner) Hey Nancy, where's Arnie? Did you two have a fight again?

I guess I'll still be Nancy for now.

NANCY: It's the strangest thing. He broke his hand trying to get a cookie that fell behind the counter. I told him there was no way. I swear, I think sometimes he isn't all that bright--Ooh look, press on nails!!!!

Crystal: Well Roseanne, are you excited as I am?

Nancy: Hurry Crystal! We need to look our best for this event....maybe I'll teach you to look like a sophisticated tramp like Me.

Dan: Well then, I'm back to the bike shop. Uh, Rosie, can you pick up some beer for the poker game tonight? I'd do it, but ya know I got a long day of trying to sell bikes to people who just don't wanna buy one. (sigh) the American Dream.

I'll be Bev.

Bev: Roseane have you seen your sister, oh there you are Jackie.
I just ran into William Wright, that boy you were dating for awhile in high school, remember, he stood you up at the prom? Well anyway, his divorce just became final and I thought it would be nice if you two got together, I fixed you two up for a date.

Mr. Wright will be picking you up tonight around 8.

Jackie: (pretend smile) Why thank you Mother! You just had to set me up again? Well, I'm not ready to go out because..............well I'm just not ready! (yells) YOU OLD WOMAN

Bev: I don't see what you're getting so upset about Jackie Dear. I don't think he's going to stand you up again, if that's what you're worried about.

Your sister had a great time with that boy...oh what's his name, he was the son of one of your father's friends, I fixed them up too...What was his name...Henry...Harry....HERBIE! that's it.
What a delightful young man.

Jackie: Well fine Mother if thats what you want I will go see this guy who fixed me up with (rolls eyes) Bye Roseanne! (leaves)

Bev: No that's okay Jackie, If you don't really want to see this man, you don't have to. It's only my dying wish that you find yourself a husband and settle down and give me a grandchild.
but, that's okay. I'm only your mother.

Well, I think this one is done. Does anybody have an idea for a new situation?