Two things I've had customers ask me a lot more times than I've wanted to hear...

Customer: "Do you work here?"
Me: (saying) "Yes, how may I help you?" (thinking) "No, I don't work here. They just let me stand around wearing this dorky uniform because it's a hobby of mine. YES, I WORK HERE!!!"

Customer: "I know you're trying to close right now, but can I just walk around for another 15 to 20 minutes to finish shopping?"
Me: (saying) "Sorry, we're closed." <Last words said on Cheers :D > (thinking) "Of course not! Not when you had ALL DAY to come into the store! We want to go home!"

Another time, I was in a different store and they had a couple of "No Candy" registers, so parents don't have to listen to their kids begging for candy. (Ever hear of a little word called "No"? My parents said it to me all the time.) I was in line in one of them and an old lady got in line behind me and she had several bags of candy. She asked the cashier, "I have a couple of bags of candy. Do I have to get in another line?" :rolleyes:

What other dumb things have you heard people say in public?

Well I work in a grocery store too. Here are some of the dumb things that I have heard.
1. Customer: Why are the carts wet? Me: Because customers leave them outside in the rain, and if we were to take the time and dry them off, you would be sacking your own items.
2. Customer: In order to get 10 items for $10 do I need to buy 10 of the same item? Me: Uh, no you can buy 3 of that item and it would only cost you $3.

3. Customer: You have no carts at all! Me: (Thinking to myself) Yeah we do, they are sitting in the parking lot so go out and get one. Sorry if we are really busy.

Sorry I just thought of another thing. It wasn't really anything that was said, but it's funny. This old lady that I was sacking for was almost done purchasing her groceries. Towards the end, she goes "Oh no, I've lost my scarf! I have to go find it." The cashier asks if she could pay for her items first and then look for it. The old lady walks off. We waited for this woman for 15 minutes, meanwhile the cashier's line is backed way up. Finally the woman comes back, and says, "Oh I guess my scarf was just around my neck and not my head.: Ugh, I hate that.

Oh yes, I've heard those too. Another one I've heard...

Customer: "What do you mean my credit card is all maxxed out? It can't be! I've been using it all day!"
Me: (muttering) "That might be the reason why."
Customer: "What did you just say?"
Me: "I didn't say anything."

Originally posted by Sideshow Kristen
Oh yes, I've heard those too. Another one I've heard...

Customer: "What do you mean my credit card is all maxxed out? It can't be! I've been using it all day!"
Me: (muttering) "That might be the reason why."
Customer: "What did you just say?"
Me: "I didn't say anything."

LMAO! Yeah I've heard that one too.

Another one that I've heard is
Customer: I know that I have enough money on my card! I must be having a problem, maybe it's ID theft.
Me: Okay, whatever.

Originally posted by Sideshow Kristen

Customer: "Do you work here?"
Me: (saying) "Yes, how may I help you?" (thinking) "No, I don't work here. They just let me stand around wearing this dorky uniform because it's a hobby of mine. YES, I WORK HERE!!!"



:lol:

Yes, I used to get that all the time when I worked retail; especially when I was standing behind the register counter with a name tag on.

;)

Originally posted by Sideshow Kristen
Oh yes, I've heard those too. Another one I've heard...

Customer: "What do you mean my credit card is all maxxed out? It can't be! I've been using it all day!"
Me: (muttering) "That might be the reason why."
Customer: "What did you just say?"
Me: "I didn't say anything."

:rofl:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate it when someone comes into a 20 items or less line with a gazillon things. Hello? READ THE SIGN!!!

We always seen to get stuck behind them too in line. :rolleyes:

Originally posted by Brent88
:rofl:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate it when someone comes into a 20 items or less line with a gazillon things. Hello? READ THE SIGN!!!

We always seen to get stuck behind them too in line. :rolleyes:

God I see that happen all the time where I work. Also, people, if you have 15 of the same item, it still counts! Don't come into a 15 item or less lane with that and then some. That's a big pet peeve of mine.

Oh yes, I also can't stand the people who come into the "12 items or less" line with far more than twelve items. Are they math majors who can't read, English majors who can't count, or philosophy majors who know nothing? ;)

Originally posted by Sideshow Kristen
Oh yes, I also can't stand the people who come into the "12 items or less" line with far more than twelve items. Are they math majors who can't read, English majors who can't count, or philosophy majors who know nothing? ;)

:lol:

Ah man, what a way to really find out how stupid some people in this world are... work at a store and you'll encounter ALL kinds. I can't believe these are true stories. ohno:

When I was working at Target there were several times customers came up to me and asked:
"Is this Target?"
"What store is this?"
Once a customer came up to me and asked how come a certain item that was listed in the sale add didn't have a sale sign on it. I checked on what the item was and it wasn't one sale that week. I told the customer that this item wasn't on sale this week. She got all upset and started telling me that I had no idea what I was talking about, that she had the add with her and that she was going to take it out and show me how wrong I was. So she took out her add, and she was right, the item was on sale...at K-Mart! She had the K-Mart add!

Oh, Kristen, I was just curious as to what your screen name "Sideshow Kristen" means? It is a cool screen name, one of the better ones I've seen.

When referring to a closed lane at a store Once, I was standing in line, and this creepy guy came up and said to me

Can we use this lane?
Me: "No, the line says closed."
My thoughts: NO DUH! Why do they put the closed sign on it if it's open?"

Another one
"Can I get in front of you in line?"
Me: "No, I'll only be a second."
My thoughts in my head : Duh, NO!If you wanted to be first, you should have gotten here first.

Another

Originally posted by dukey
Oh, Kristen, I was just curious as to what your screen name "Sideshow Kristen" means? It is a cool screen name, one of the better ones I've seen.

It's a reference to a couple of Simpsons characters, most notably, Sideshow Bob.

Oh, okay. Actually I'm probably one of the only people alive who has never seen an episode of The Simpsons. It's still a cool screen name though.

I too have never seen a single episode of the Simpsons. I watch old shows like Leave it to Beaver (as demonstrated in my avatar) or I Love Lucy.

in PE we were playing tennis and this bitch was facing her back to the net while she was talking to her friend..

me: no offense but it's not very bright to face your back to the net when theres a ball coming right at you.
her: well, it's not very bright to look like avril either.
me: uhh yeah, thats your opinion if i look like her and it's not necessarily something i "did."
her: well it's your fault youre not getting plastic surgery.
me: i dont want to pay $3 million for something i dont care about.
her: so you LIKE looking like avril?
me: i dont know the key to success but the key to failure is to try to please everyone! said by bill cosby.

And she feels she is justified to tease you over something you couldn't even control?

Originally posted by safety pin
in PE we were playing tennis and this bitch was facing her back to the net while she was talking to her friend..

me: no offense but it's not very bright to face your back to the net when theres a ball coming right at you.
her: well, it's not very bright to look like avril either.
me: uhh yeah, thats your opinion if i look like her and it's not necessarily something i "did."
her: well it's your fault youre not getting plastic surgery.
me: i dont want to pay $3 million for something i dont care about.
her: so you LIKE looking like avril?
me: i dont know the key to success but the key to failure is to try to please everyone! said by bill cosby.


You should tell her if she doesn't like the way you look then she can pay for your plastic surgery.

You know, when you are arguing, you can never think of any good comebacks, but later, you think of many you could have said. Then when you have the chance another time, you forget to use them.:D

Originally posted by BeaverFan5
And she feels she is justified to tease you over something you couldn't even control?
Yeah she's stupid, she was just looking for something to insult me for. She used to be my friend but she ended up backstabbing me and blabbing all my secrets to everyone.. then she found out how much she's hurt my social life and started feeling sorry for me and she's trying to be my friend again, like that will ever happen.

Originally posted by Mrs. Ducky
You should tell her if she doesn't like the way you look then she can pay for your plastic surgery.
why didnt i think of saying that?! :lol:

You could say to her "Well, based on your looks, the only people that would be attracted to you are Adolf Hitler or Charles Manson (or any other murderer)". I used it, and it worked.

Originally posted by safety pin
why didnt i think of saying that?! :lol:

There's the old thing, you can never think of the good comebacks when you really need them. You think of good ones after the argument is over.

Originally posted by BeaverFan5
You know, when you are arguing, you can never think of any good comebacks, but later, you think of many you could have said. Then when you have the chance another time, you forget to use them.:D

I so hate that!

Happens to me all the time

Here is a DUMB statement from a co-worker of mine.

I work with this girl who has only had one job in her entire life and stated that she wants to be a police officer because the starting salary is nice. SHE HAS NO WORK EXPERIENCE prior to the job she has right now and walks up to police officers on the street so they can tell her about being a police officer. Damm she is stupid.

Does this ever happen to anyone else? Your in the grocery store or something and you run into someone you know from school/work and you have a conversation with them. The next day at school/work and they say "I saw you last night at the grocery store!"

That never happens to me, since when I see someone I know at the grocery store, I try to go the opposite direction, since I don't want to talk much when I'm in public. Usually, I start a conversation with my mother so I won't have to talk to anyone else. I would only stop to talk if it was one of my friends.

Originally posted by Mrs. Ducky
Does this ever happen to anyone else? Your in the grocery store or something and you run into someone you know from school/work and you have a conversation with them. The next day at school/work and they say "I saw you last night at the grocery store!"

Man, that happens to me. Its so annoying. Wow, big deal we saw each other outside of school

I ignore people I know in public because once I saw this girl I knew and was talking to her, but strangely, her boyfriend was in the store and accused me of "flirting" with his girl. It was so embarrassing.

Well, since you were talking with her I guess you were flurting with her.

;)

Originally posted by Colonel Juke "N" Jive
Well, since you were talking with her I guess you were flurting with her.

;)

There is a difference between normal talking and flirting. Talking is just normal conversing between two people. Flirting is showing an interest and liking (having crushes) to someone. Anyway, that boyfriend wasn't a real "boyfriend", just another boy who liked her.

In fact, the other day at the park, this girl forgot her money to buy a snack at the concession stand, so I gave her 75 cents and that same boy accused me of "stealing his girl". Tomorrow, it is her turn to buy me something at the concession stand. We take turns paying.

Originally posted by dukey
When I was working at Target there were several times customers came up to me and asked:
"Is this Target?"
"What store is this?"
Once a customer came up to me and asked how come a certain item that was listed in the sale add didn't have a sale sign on it. I checked on what the item was and it wasn't one sale that week. I told the customer that this item wasn't on sale this week. She got all upset and started telling me that I had no idea what I was talking about, that she had the add with her and that she was going to take it out and show me how wrong I was. So she took out her add, and she was right, the item was on sale...at K-Mart! She had the K-Mart add!

OMG... ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!

:rofl:

today we were watching a movie with a map that was on for like 5 minutes straight, because they were talking about population... and a girl was like... what country is that above the US? Afganistan?

Originally posted by [.AIkenCompany3.]
today we were watching a movie with a map that was on for like 5 minutes straight, because they were talking about population... and a girl was like... what country is that above the US? Afganistan?

ohno: ohno: ohno:

Ok theres this girl in my school who is a theif and its so obvious.

So I lost my red pen and I was looking for it.
My red pen was colored purple, by the way. So Im looking for my red pen and I see it in this girls hands. Colored purple, like my pen was.
So I say, in a very polite voice,
"I think thats my pen."
And she gets a guilty look on her face and says
"Nope. Its mine."
So I say "No I think its mine because its colored purple. I colored my pen purple."
And than she says, "I bought it purple. There was only one left in stock colored purple and I got it."
Oh come on! How DUMB could you get? Its pretty obvious thats my pen! Luckily, I got my pen back.
Heres another situation, same girl:

The same girl stole my pencil. So I bring in like 5 new pencils, and I write my names on them. This girl looks at them and says
"One of those pencils are mine!"
and I say, "They have my name written on them!" And than she spreads a rumor that I stole her pencil. How stupid could this girl get?

oh god. i cant think of any. and there are so many. ah

Originally posted by [.AIkenCompany3.]
today we were watching a movie with a map that was on for like 5 minutes straight, because they were talking about population... and a girl was like... what country is that above the US? Afganistan?

Really? Weird...
In your school? That's weird that she doesn't know that...

But this girl in my class that's kinda my friend, kept arguing with me and the teacher and saying that Canda (above the US) is a state. That didn't make much sense.

I get annoyed when people say :"Are you hot"? when they see me turn the AC or fan on or grab a newspaper and start blowing myself with it:rolleyes:

I got one:

I was walking to the bathroom in school and there was a hall moniter in front of the bathroom, patrolling the hall. So he asks me:

"Hey! Going to the bathroom?"
"Yes" I say
No, I just came here to see you, I thought.

So than the hall moniter says "Have a good time!"

Ill have a real good time going to the bathroom, its loads of fun, I thought. The sad thing is I could tell he was serious because he didnt laugh and he had a serious look on his face.

ooo i have one

our humanities teacher who is about 5 months pregnant was telling us about how much her back hurt. and this boy raised his hand and asked "wait how come your stomache got so big?"

People can really be uncouth sometimes! My sister worked as a waitress at Bob Evans several years ago and some joker said to her- " You know, you would really be pretty if you got a nose job". What a Dweeb!:eek: (She has a slight hump on the bridge of her nose ) she is actually very pretty!

I was listening to an interview on the radio the other day and this guy was talking about kids who are addicted to computer video games, and he was interviewing a doctor, and he asked the doctor "What are the signs that your kid is addicted to videogames" and the doctor replied, "Well, the first sign that your child is addicted to video games is when he spends all his time in front of the computer screen." GEE, DO YOU THINK?!! Wow, all those years of medical school to come up with that conclusion.

I was walking my dog at a rest area and there was a pickup truck that had caught fire probably the day before and the charred remains were still sitting in the parking spot. I went over to take a look at it and this guy comes over and says to me "Looks like there was a fire". Makes me just want to slap some common sense into him.

Speaking of working retail, which looks like there are alot of posts about that on this thread, I have alot of empathy for people who work retail because I did it for alot of years and there are alot rude, inconsiderate a-holes out there. But I absolutely cannot stand when I'm the one being waited on, and I'm told "I just work here". I hate those 4 little words with a passion.

I hate it when I'm standing at my lane and people will ask "Are you open?" "Well actually no, I'm on my lunch right now, I'm just standing buy my register while the lane light's on for fun.":rolleyes:
But the dumbest thing I've ever heard was in 1995. We were going over the end of WWII in history class. Well we were talking about the Berlin Wall, and this one girl asked "Is that wall still up?":rolleyes: Everbody just shook their heads in disbelief.

At a drama festival, this girl saw that one company was doing Evita:
Girl: OOO! That's the show where they sing Don't Cry For Me, Argentina! What country was she first lady of?

Girl in my peer mentoring group: "Are unicorns real?"

My teacher: On our field trip, we are going to the Christ Church/Cemetary
Girl in my class: Is that where Jesus was born?

My teacher: What counrty was the King of England king of?
Same girl: Uhhhh, I dont know

The teacher asked a guy in my class if he had ever been to Montreal, Quebec, and he answered, "I've been to Montreal, but I've never been to Quebec".

Enough of geography for the insane.

Originally posted by phoebe7165
The teacher asked a guy in my class if he had ever been to Montreal, Quebec, and he answered, "I've been to Montreal, but I've never been to Quebec".

Enough of geography for the insane.

:rofl:

oh. my. god. this is quite off-topic (i cant find any other place to rant) but i just found a picture of lars ulrich flashing the devil horns with advil la****face standing next to him. im sure he was told to do so and was just being cooperative.. but this is the most horrible thing i've seen all day. avril lavigne with one of the gods of metal!?!?!!?!??! *bursts into hysterical tears* WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO???? :crying: k ignore this post :wave: :grr:

"Don't call it Chris. Every Tom Dick and Harry will be called Chris."

Learning about rainforests, and such, upon discovering that we need trees for oxygen a guy at school said to the geography teacher: "If we lived in a tree, would we breath better?"

The class was having a strange conversation, about mating animals of different species togather, to make a new species. Someone said: "Someday I'll create a new animal, by mating a cow... with a bull!"


Ok, ok... So I admit, it was me that said that last one... :rolleyes:

Originally posted by phoebe7165
The teacher asked a guy in my class if he had ever been to Montreal, Quebec, and he answered, "I've been to Montreal, but I've never been to Quebec".

Enough of geography for the insane.

:rotflmao:

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Aardvark
[B]"Don't call it Chris. Every Tom Dick and Harry will be called Chris."

Hey, Aardvark, what does this mean?? The reason I ask is because 4 of my cousins who are all brothers, are named Tom, Dick, Harry & Chris!! In that order!! Actually we don't call Dick, Dick. His name is Richard and we call him Rich, but we've often joked about Tom, Dick & Harry through the years.

Just wondering.

Hey, Brent88, that's a cool avatar. I see you live in Alabama. You must live near the coast, and deal with all that hurricane stuff, too. I live on the east side of Fla, about 1/2 hour from Cocoa Beach and have been living here over 20 years.

Anytime a customer asks me a question it's stupid. Yesterday somebody asked me "Where's your peanut butter?" Hello!! If you look at the signs above each of the aisles it says what is on the aisle. This includes peanut butter. Duh!

Originally posted by phoebe7165
Originally posted by Aardvark
[B]"Don't call it Chris. Every Tom Dick and Harry will be called Chris."

Hey, Aardvark, what does this mean?? The reason I ask is because 4 of my cousins who are all brothers, are named Tom, Dick, Harry & Chris!! In that order!! Actually we don't call Dick, Dick. His name is Richard and we call him Rich, but we've often joked about Tom, Dick & Harry through the years.

Just wondering.

That IS spooky... :confused:

"I was sleeping with my eyes closed...."

Originally posted by Princess2003
Anytime a customer asks me a question it's stupid. Yesterday somebody asked me "Where's your peanut butter?" Hello!! If you look at the signs above each of the aisles it says what is on the aisle. This includes peanut butter. Duh!

:rotflmao:

Originally posted by phoebe7165
Hey, Brent88, that's a cool avatar. I see you live in Alabama. You must live near the coast, and deal with all that hurricane stuff, too. I live on the east side of Fla, about 1/2 hour from Cocoa Beach and have been living here over 20 years.

I'm actually in the Central Part of the state. It's about a 4 hour drive to Mobile/Pensacola/Fort Walton Beach/Panama City. I did go through Opal in 1995 though. It was still a hurricane when it came through. We get remnants of tropical systems a lot. I have had an interest in weather for more than 10 years. Not just hurricanes, but tornadoes, severe weather, blizzards, and other stuff.

I have a good one. This has been said to me a few times at fast food places, but the other day I was at KFC and when the lady asked me what side I wanted I said Macaroni, and she goes, "with cheese?" Come on now. That's almost as bad as when you're on the phone in the middle of a conversation and someone in your house picks up another receiver and says "oh, are you on the phone?" No I just like to sit with the receiver to my ear and hold a one-man conversation. lol

Originally posted by safety pin
oh. my. god. this is quite off-topic (i cant find any other place to rant) but i just found a picture of lars ulrich flashing the devil horns with advil la****face standing next to him. im sure he was told to do so and was just being cooperative.. but this is the most horrible thing i've seen all day. avril lavigne with one of the gods of metal!?!?!!?!??! *bursts into hysterical tears* WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO???? :crying: k ignore this post :wave: :grr:

:eek: :lol:

My loveable, ditzy sister (who is in her 40's) once said, "The Northern Lights are in the North, right?" :lol:

One time my older cousin told me that she knows this little boy who has lots of problems, so he has to go get shots alot, and he says, "I like getting shots".
Ok, that's really weird, lol.

Originally posted by FullHouseFan8795
One time my older cousin told me that she knows this little boy who has lots of problems, so he has to go get shots alot, and he says, "I like getting shots".
Ok, that's really weird, lol.
it's his freaking opinion.

Originally posted by safety pin
it's his freaking opinion.

Yeah, I know. I should have put it down because it's just an opinion, it's not really a dumb thing to say.
Sorry!

Back in the 6th grade we had to fill out this sheet that said what we wanted to be when we grew up and things like that. One kid said he wanted to be a fire extinguisher. I think he meant a fire fighter but it was still funny! Another one of the questions was "What will you be in the next 20 years" and another kid answered 32. It was funny.

Last night, a customer asked an employee if we sold Friends cereal. The employee said, "What, you mean that show has its own cereal now?" The customer just laughed and said, "No, I mean the Kashi Just Friends brand."

OK, I'll admit it... that employee was me! :doh: :doh: :bonk: :wallbang

Originally posted by Sideshow Kristen
Last night, a customer asked an employee if we sold Friends cereal. The employee said, "What, you mean that show has its own cereal now?" The customer just laughed and said, "No, I mean the Kashi Just Friends brand."

OK, I'll admit it... that employee was me! :doh: :doh: :bonk: :wallbang

Hey, I would've thunk the same thing!!

I wouldn't be surprised if there was a Friends cereal!! With all the hoopla surrounding the end of the show, they could just add that on to the other Friends merchandise pile!!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Sideshow Kristen
Last night, a customer asked an employee if we sold Friends cereal. The employee said, "What, you mean that show has its own cereal now?" The customer just laughed and said, "No, I mean the Kashi Just Friends brand."

OK, I'll admit it... that employee was me! :doh: :doh: :bonk: :wallbang [/QUOTE


Yay Kristen!!!!!!!!!!!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

"I take showers naked :D"

HA! I said this yesterday when I was with my friend Kim after school. We were walking around and I was trying to show her where my grandpa lives.

Me- My grandpa lives there.
Kim- Where?
Me- See that house?
Kim- Where?
Me- Right there. The house with the porch.
Kim- EVERY HOUSE HAS A PORCH!

Heh..

One time my 10 year old sister asked me how to spell "booth".
I mean every 10 year old should know how to spell a five letter word.
But I think she knows how to spell it now.

WOW. My sister just came into my room.. like.. 45 seconds ago.

*Knocks*
Me- Yes?
Christie- So you're home now?
Me- Um it looks that way.

I hate when people do that :mad:

Originally posted by FullHouseFan8795
One time my older cousin told me that she knows this little boy who has lots of problems, so he has to go get shots alot, and he says, "I like getting shots".
Ok, that's really weird, lol.

I like getting shots, too. I guess I'm weird..




:o

:lol: These are all so funny.

Today I took my joyous SAT II's. So, I was standing in line FOREVER, with these girls in front of me, who kept asking stupid questions about god knows what. There were these people from Eureka (a sat prep class) handing out smarties and making sure everyone in this line was taking SAT II's. The girls in front of me, kept saying "yes...sat II's." Well, when we got into the building they realized "I'm taking SAT I's!!" That wasn't funny...just stupid. Oy to the vei.

Originally posted by Princess2003
Anytime a customer asks me a question it's stupid. Yesterday somebody asked me "Where's your peanut butter?" Hello!! If you look at the signs above each of the aisles it says what is on the aisle. This includes peanut butter. Duh!

Some people are lazy and don't feel like taking the time to walk around looking for the things they need by looking up at the signs. That is a common case.

Someone was filling out an application for McDonalds's and guess what? They asked "Sex"? and he wrote Not yet. I'm still waiting for the right person."

A girl goes to Eckerds, sees a cute employee, and begins to drool over him. She asks "How long does the one -hour photo process take?" He called her a ditz.:lol:

A man goes to an interview and is aksed if he is responsible. He answers "Yes, I am very responsible. Whenever something went wrong at my last job, they told me I was responsible.":lol:

1 TYM SOME1 CALLED ME S2PID BCUZ UV HOW I TYPE :( :mad: :rolleyes: : :bash

luv,
mary jane xoxoxoxoxoxoxo :banana: :guitar: :angdev: party:

One of my pet peeves is when someone says, "May I axe you a question?" Ummm, I don't know how you could axe me a question. You could try asking me one though.