Written by

Mark Fink & Stephen Miller "Part One"

Alan Rosen & Fred Rubin "Part Two"

Staring:

Archie Bunker----------Carroll O'Connor

Murray Klein-----------Martin Balsam

Stephanie Mills--------Danielle Brisebois

Barney Hefner----------Allan Melvin

Harry Snowden----------Jason Wingreen

Mr. Van Ranseleer------Bill Quinn

Veronica Rooney--------Anne Meara

Guest Staring

Polly Swanson----------Janet MacLachlan

Kathy Wakefield--------Renne Jarrett

Jim Spencer------------John Welsh

Arlene Schiff----------Sandy Lipton

Bob the shop teacher---Wil Albert

Linda the waitress-----Heidi Hagman(Larry Hagman's daughter)

Directed by

Carroll O'Connor and Gary Shimokawa

Executive Producer

Alen Horn

Produced By

Joe Gannon

Story Editors

Patt Shea & Harriett Weiss

Mark Fink & Stephen Miller

Carroll O'Connor

Alan Rosen & Fred Rubin

Associate Producer

Ken Stump

Transcribed from videos of the WPSG UPN 57 and CBS for allinthefamilysit.com by Dan Asnis

PART ONE

ACT ONE SCENE ONE

FADE IN:

INT.LIVINGROOM-MORNING

Close up on Alarm clock as it rings Archie's hand reaches down and stops the ringing switches to wide shot of Archie waking up on the couch. Archie gets up off the couch and picks up and minds the Alarm clock taking it with him as the camera follows him going up the steps. Once up stairs he opens up the door to Stephanie's bedroom and points the alarm clock at her as it goes off and wakes Stephanie up Archie closed the door and puts the Alarm clock down on the dresser in the hall as he walks into the bathroom. Stephanie goes into the Bunkers' bedroom gets a pair of Archie's pants out of the closet and a Shirt undershirt and boxers out of the dresser. She puts them down on the dresser in the hall as Archie flushes the toilet. Stephanie closed the Bunker's door and goes downstairs.

FADE TO:

ACT ONE SCENE TWO

INT.KITCHEN-MORNING

Stephanie walks into the kitchen and puts her coat and bookbag down on the counter as Archie pours himself a cup of coffee. Stephanie takes a frying pan out of the cabinet.

ARCHIE What are you doing?

STEPHANIE Going to make bacon and eggs.

ARCHIE For who?

STEPHANIE For you.

ARCHIE Oh no I don't want nothing like that. Forget it.

STEPHANIE Aren't you ever going to let me cook breakfast?

ARCHIE You can cook breakfast when you grow up and get married. If you are lucky enough to find some dope.

Archie see's cereal box on table.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Meantime look here we got your beautiful coco crunchies their.

close-up on sour look of Stephanie's face.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Don't give me that face.

Archie picks up box and starts reading label.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Did you ever read what's in this stuff here look at this You got your phosphorus there you got your vitamins there. You got your magnishia. All of that hey. And the best thing of all if that stuff if loaded with sugar. Keep you going all day long.

Archie opens refrigerator and smells spoiled food.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) God what stinks in here.

STEPHANIE Everything! The stuffed cabbage from Mrs. Bloom the tuna casserole from ...

Archie interrupts Stephanie.

ARCHIE Alright alright alright don't tell me no more.

Archie reaches into the refrigerator and pulls out the milk and rejoins Stephanie at the table.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) If the refrigerator's working why is everything stinking?

STEPHANIE It's all been in there for three weeks.

ARCHIE Oh didn't you think to clean some of it out?

STEPHANIE You told me not to touch anything in the kitchen.

ARCHIE Yah that's right I told you that.

Archie sits down. Stephanie looks into the cereal box.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Hay there was a terrific picture on the late show last night. You should of stooped downstairs and watched it with me for a little while you know. Godzilla the monster. You should of seen that guy killing Japs millions of them there. We sure could have used him in WW2 .

Stephanie pours cereal into her bowl and put the box back in the middle of the table.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) So how was school yesterday?

STEPHANIE fine. How was work?

Archie drinks coffee

ARCHIE um----terrific terrific. I got everything under control like usual. Stephanie pours the last drop of milk onto her cereal.

STEPHANIE We need milk. ARCHIE yah I see that. Well ill bring home some from work tonight. STEPHANIE I was thinking this weekend.

Archie interrupts Stephanie

ARCHIE Hay hay hay hay. I got this weekend all planed for us look at this here. Two reserved seats. Tickets to the circus that's for Saturday afternoon isn't it. On Sunday we go to the movies again.

STEPHANIE I like to go the cemetery. You said we would.

ARCHIE Oh ya but I already bought the tickets.

STEPHANIE You promised.

ARCHIE I know i promised but I didn't say when.

They hear knock at the door.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) I'll get that

Archie goes to the door and opens it.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Oh hi you there Polly. Come on in Come on in. How you doing.

POLLY Hi Arch I'm fine. You certainly sound chipper. How's it going?

ARCHIE Oh with us fine. Were getting along swell. Here look at this were even having breakfast.

POLLY Ah! How are you Stephanie?

STEPHANIE OK

POLLY Arch I came for my casserole dish.

ARCHIE Oh yah yah. Well

Archie goes to the refrigerator and hesitantly opens the door.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Oh Polly its-its in here you know. Amongst allot of other odds and ends. Can you find it in there?

POLLY I found it.

Polly reaches to the bottom shelf and pulls the dish out.

POLLY (CONT'D) You didn't eat it! Don't you like Lasagna?

ARCHIE Lasagna is that what that used to be?

POLLY Yah

ARCHIE Oh gee we love Lasagna. We thought it was a tuna casserole. Well I'll get all of that out for you.

POLLY Oh I'll get it out.

Polly looks down at the dish.

POLLY (CONT'D) Hay! It looks like it's trying to get out by it's self.

Archie looks at Stephanie and then looks at his watch.

ARCHIE Oh well look at the time kid-o. Maybe you better be running off to school.

STEPHANIE OK

STEPHANIE (CONT'D) What about this Saturday?

ARCHIE Come on Saturday were going to the circus. I got the tickets Ha. And look we got to get there early so we get used to the smell of the elephants. So though when we have out Hot Dogs peanuts and cotton candy then we won't get nauserated.

Stephanie puts on her jacket.

STEPHANIE Take somebody else to the circus.

Stephanie opens the kitchen door and enters the living room. Archie opens the door Stephanie stares at him before she opens the front door and leaves the house. Archie goes back into the kitchen.

POLLY What's she got against the circus?

ARCHIE Oh nothing nothing nothing. She goes to the circus alright. Just that she was thinking about making a visitation to the. Well you know Medowglen.

POLLY Oh

ARCHIE Yah . Ah I figure what's the rush it's only a little over a month. You might as well give the grass a chance to grow out there before you start looking all around. You know what I mean?

POLLY I know what you mean. Well just yell over the fence if you need me ok.

ARCHIE Yah I'll do that Polly.

POLLY Bye Arch.

ARCHIE Yah ya thanks a million.

Polly opens the kitchen door to the outside.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Hay give my regards to Ed.

POLLY I will.

Polly closed the door and leaves the kitchen. Archie picks up the circus tickets looks at them and throws them down on the table.

FADE TO:

ACT ONE SCENE THREE

INT.BAR-Morning

VERONICA Gees yous guys are always fighting about something that has no meaning to the rest of humanity.

BARNEY I'm just trying to tell Harry that most of the traffic that comes into the city comes over the tri- borough bridge.

HARRY Well I say it's the Queens borough.

BARNEY Well are you trying to tell me my business? I've been a bridge inspector here for 28 years and I'm telling you her it's the Tri-borough.

VERONICA Hay how do you inspect bridges when your always in here ha?

BARNEY Easy! I simply consult my manifest find out today's the day for the Brooklyn Bridge and I mark it unsafe.

Barney shows his clip board to Veronica. She looks away in disbelief.

HARRY Hay Barney try some of these new cashews.

Harry hands the jar to Barney.

VAN RANSELEER Yah there excellent I got them at a gourmet place in the village.

BARNEY Gee thanks Mr. Van R I really love cashews.

Barney opens the bottle and a gag snake pops out. Everyone laughs.

MURRAY Harry it never fails does it?

BARNEY You guys is there no end to your merriment?

Barney give the gag snake to Harry.

VERONICA Oh gees fellows I hate to interrupt important business, but whereas my oven cleaner ha?

MURRAY Archie's bringing it over. He has a couple a errands to go on first.

HARRY Were trying to keep him busy.

BARNEY You know I can't help thinking of my cousin Eddie it was offal.

VERONICA What's with him?

BARNEY Well he's allot like Arch. He relied on his wife for everything and she passed away in her sleep one night quietly. Just like Edith it was her heart you know. It was terrible.

VERONICA, HARRY AND MURRAY What happened?

BARNEY He couldn't handle it. He went to pieces.

Veronica Harry and Murray look on with a stoned look on their faces.

BARNEY (CONT'D) But not old Arch he's doing fine.

MURRAY And I hope it stays that way

VERONICA Listen were all trying to keep him happy ant we. Were all keeping his spirits up.

MURRAY You can do that by breathing on him.

VERONICA Oh ha ha ha ha.

Everyone laughs!

MURRAY Ah Veronica.

Archie comes through the front door carrying a loaded brown paper supermarket bag.

ARCHIE Hi there everybody.

EVERYONE Hi Arch.

Archie walks past Mr. Van Ranseleer.

ARCHIE Hi Mr. Van R.

Veronica walks up to Archie.

VERONICA Hi there boss did you get my oven cleaner?

Archie hands the spray can of oven cleaner from the bag over to Veronica.

ARCHIE Yah here it is. Gee this stuff cost a fortune do you have to cook like a slob?

VERONICA Look who's calling who a slob.

MURRAY Don't argue.

VERONICA Your right Arch I'll try to watch it.

ARCHIE Hi Linda here

Linda comes to Archie. Archie gives her the bag.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Get that stuff back in the office for me ha.

Linda takes the bag off camera to the office.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) I have a latch to fix on the back door and I have to look at the leak in the ceiling there.

Archie hold up a toilet ballrod.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) And this here Murray is a job for you.

MURRAY Glad to do it.

BARNEY Is that for your toilet arch?

ARCHIE No Barney it's for my goldfish bowl.

Everyone but Archie laughs.

ARCHIE What the hell was so funny?

MURRAY It's not what you said it how you said it. It's all in the timing.

ARCHIE Oh Ya, I was never that funny before.

HARRY Oh Well can I say Arch. Like good scotch you get better with age.

ARCHIE Like a good bartender pour me a beer.

HARRY Coming right out.

MURRAY Anything he wants.

Archie opens the gag cashew can. A the toy snake pops out. Only the blind Mr. Van Ranseleer laughs.

VAN RANSELEER Ha ha who who got it this time?

ARCHIE I got it this time Mr. Van R.

Archie pauses everyone looks on and stays silent.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) How come yous ant laughing at that ha. You said that was funny ain't that a joke?

MURRAY That's too childish to be funny.

ARCHIE Than why was Mr. Van R wetting his paints here?

Murray is speechless.

ARCHIE Come on come on Murray I know what you are doing. I know what yous all are doing and don't do it no more ha. You don't have to tiptoe around me.

MURRAY Your right Arch your right.

ARCHIE And yous don't have to be always agreeing with me neither.

BARNEY OK Arch anything you say.

ARCHIE You done it again you dope.

BARNEY Your right.

ARCHIE And still again.

BARNEY Ya I know.

HARRY You be better off in Brooklyn Barney.

BARNEY Yah I think I go inspect my bridge.

Barney leaves the bar and a man with a overcoat and brief case comes in as Barney is leaving. He walks over to the bar.

SPENCER Hello Mr. Klein. Is Mr. Bunker in yet?

MURRAY Oh yah you tracked him down. Hay Archie this man was her to see you yesterday. I told him to come around today.

Spencer walks to Archie on the other side of the room.

SPENCER Mr. Bunker hi. Jim Spencer Fidelity Insurance. It's about your wive's policy.

ARCHIE Oh yah yah yah.

SPENCER You are a tough man to track down.

ARCHIE Oh well I've been pretty busy lately. To tell you the truth I am very busy right now. Setting up for the lunch rush you know and I got to go back and fix a raging toilet.

Archie holds up the toilet rod that is still in his hand. Spencer put his briefcase down on a table.

SPENCER Well this won't take but a minute. OK if we sit here.

Spencer sits down at the same table he put his brief case down on. Archie reluctantly follows him and sits down. Spencer pulls a tan folder out of his brief case.

SPENCER First off please accept condolences on behalf of myself and Fidelity Insurance on the death of your wife Judith.

ARCHIE That was Edith.

SPENCER Oh I'm terribly sorry please forgive me. I have trouble reading my own handwriting. Maybe I should have become a doctor.

Spencer laughs. Archie is not amused.

SPENCER (CONT'D) I have your beneficiary death claim. Which states that Edith Bunker died on the date indicated and if you just sign in right there I'll present you with a check for five thousand dollars.

ARCHIE I ain't going to sign that.

SPENCER what?

ARCHIE I don't want to be no beneficiary. What do yous people think. That I can sign a person off the world like that. I don't want it. Just send it out to my daughter in California Gloria Stivic she lives in Santa Barbara.

SPENCER Well why don't you do that Mr. Bunker? You can endorse the check right over to her. See as beneficiary I need your signature on the death claim.

ARCHIE I ain't signing no death claim. Oh Your a big company can't you just leave me alone and do what I'm asking you to do. Send it out there to my daughter

SPENCER Oh maybe I better call the home office.

Spencer looks for change in his pocket at eyes the bar's pay phone.

ARCHIE Use the Pay phone down in the subway this ones out of order.

Spencer looks at the pay phone again.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) It's out of order.

The pay phone rings. Archie picks it up. Spencer see’s it's working.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Archie Bunker's Place A. Bunker here. Ah hol-hold on ha.

Archie turns to Spencer.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Down the subway alright.

Spencer packs up his brief case and leaves.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) I'm Back. Yes that's right Stephanie Mills. What do you mean she's fine. What?!!!! well No I didn't know. Ill handle it.

Harry, Murray and Linda look on.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Alright! Alright! Alright! Ill handle it bye.

Archie turns his head to the bar.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Oh holy cow.

MURRAY What happened?

ARCHIE It's the kid. She ain't been in school for a week. Camera zooms in on Archie

FADE TO BLACK.

-----------------COMMERCIAL BREAK-------------------------

ACT TWO SCENE ONE

Archie is bopping the toilet rod on the bar.

VERONICA Don't you hit her!

ARCHIE I ain't going to hit her! Archie waves the rod.

VERONICA What you going to do flush her?

MURRAY Just stay calm.

ARCHIE I am calm.

Stephanie enters through the front door of the bar.

STEPHANIE Hi everybody.

EVERYONE Hi Stephe.

VERONICA How you doing honey?

STEPHANIE Hi

Stephanie sits down at the corner of the bar to the left of Archie.

ARCHIE Well so how was school today?

STEPHANIE (Softly) Fine.

Stephanie tries to think of something quickly.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) What did you learn there?

STEPHANIE History! How Marco Polo opened trade with China.

ARCHIE Richard E Nixon done that your lying. You wasn't in school today. If fact you haven't been in school all week.

Veronica takes to toilet rod away from in front of Archie.

VERONICA Don't use your hands!

ARCHIE I'll use my hand on you if you don't get out of here.

Veronica goes to the kitchen and takes the rod.

MURRAY Arch.

Murray give a hand signal to Archie to stay under control.

ARCHIE You and me are going to have a little talk in private back in the office.

Stephanie proceeds to the office. But Archie see's Harry and Mr. Van Ranseleer. Forgetting the fact that Mr. Van Ranseleer is blind.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) What are yous two looking at?

VAN RANSELEER Who's looking?

Archie looks away a proceeds to the office.

ARCHIE This ain't like you kid-o this ain't like you at all. What have you been doing? Where have you been going?

STEPHANIE To the library.

ARCHIE Everyday? Nobody can read everyday.

STEPHANIE Once I went to a museum. Mostly I sit in the park and think.

ARCHIE Your supposed to be doing your thinking in school.

STEPHANIE I know but I can't go back there.

ARCHIE Oh you got to go back there.

STEPHANIE I just can't. Kids are treating me different now.

ARCHIE What are they doing to you?

STEPHANIE They don't want to talk to me. I had to recite a poem. It was one Aunt Edith helped me memorize and off of the sudden I was crying and ever since the other kids have been acting funny.

Archie sits down at the desk.

ARCHIE Listen that should teach you a lesson. You had no go blooping in front of strangers.

STEPHANIE But even at home I can't.

ARCHIE You shouldn't be at home neither. It don't do no good . It don't change nothing kid. Listen I'm going through the same thing here you know. Murray, Barney all the guys their treating me differently.

STEPHANIE They are!

ARCHIE They think you and me are going to fall apart on our owns. But they don't know us. Were going to be OK ain't we? Ain't we?

STEPHANIE Guess so.

ARCHIE After you eat your lunch I'll walk you back to school.

STEPHANIE You don't have to.

ARCHIE I got to. I got to go up and see that truant officer. Ain't that ridicules. Your the guy that goes awol and I'm the guy that has to face the court's martial.

FADE TO SCHOOL OFFICE.

ACT TWO SCENE TWO

INT.SCHOOL OFFICE-AFTERNOON

Archie is sitting in the "truant officer's" waiting room between two young boys. Meanwhile in the truant officer's office.

MS.WAKEFIELD Oh Bob throwing things in class. I understand how you feel school if full of frustrations failures disappointments.

Camera pans over to Bob and he is a middle aged man.

WAKEFIELD (CONT'D) It's OK to be angry about that, but you can't express that anger with violence.

BOB It was self defence.

WAKEFIELD That shouldn't be necessary.

Ms. Wakefield gets up and starts to walk to the door.

WAKEFIELD (CONT'D) Remember Bob when your trying to control 35 boys in shop class nothing is more important then calm.

Ms.Wakefield opens the door and Bob leaves the room.

WAKEFIELD (CONT'D) Mr. Bunker, please come in.

Archie gets up from between the two young boys and enters Wakefield's office.

WAKEFIELD (CONT'D) I'm Ms. Wakefield we spoke earlier on the phone.

ARCHIE Ya ya I know, but I can't help saying I'm surprised you know. Seeing you a grown-up women and a good looking women too I might add doing this type of work.

WAKEFIELD What?

ARCHIE Being a truant officer torturing little kids.

WAKEFIELD Oh Mr. Bunker I'm not a truant officer. I'm a councillor.

Wakefield shows Archie the her degree on her wall.

ARCHIE What is that Barn Yard Collage.

WAKEFIELD That's Barnard.

ARCHIE Oh Barnard! Do yous have a football team?

WAKEFIELD No there the state champions in debating.

ARCHIE Debating oh biggie.

WAKEFIELD Please sit down I like to talk to you about Stephanie.

Archie and Ms.Wakefield sit down.

WAKEFIELD (CONT'D) First of all I wasn't you to know how sorry I am to hear about your wife.

ARCHIE Oh yah well thanks very much.

WAKEFIELD And I realize this is a difficult time for Stephanie.

ARCHIE Ya well we don't need to go into all of that you know. I had a nice little talk with her this noon. She ain't going to play hookey no more.

WAKEFIELD That's good! Did you find out what the problem is.

ARCHIE Ya all the kids was treating her funny, but that's normal the same thing is happening to me. You know the guys down at my bar ever since I lost my wife.

WAKEFIELD Did Stephanie attend the funeral?

ARCHIE Attend sure! Her and me were the first to the grave.

WAKEFIELD well I'm glad she had a chance to mourn with the family.

ARCHIE Oh we mourned first class let me tell you.

WAKEFIELD Does Stephanie talk very much about her aunt?

ARCHIE Oh well she tries to you know, but I get her right off of that.

WAKEFIELD Well sometimes people want to talk about their sadness with somebody close to them.

ARCHIE Yah I know I know they keep wanting to drag it out and drag it out you know,but they aut to be forgetting and getting on with life.

WAKEFIELD I suppose you haven't given Stephanie anything that belonged to your wife.

ARCHIE Oh no God. What do you think I am a dope? Gees I have not looked and any of that stuff my self. But I want to pack it away when I get a chance.

WAKEFIELD Mr. Bunker I think your wrong. I think you should let Stephanie go through those things with you and pick out something that belonged to your wife. It is very helpful to have a special keepsake.

ARCHIE Are you kidding?

WAKEFIELD No I'm not kidding.

ARCHIE Oh well I don't know what I'm doing here wasting my time. Gees you and me are talking two different languages.

Archie gets up to leave. Ms.Wakefield gets up.

WAKEFIELD Afraid so!

ARCHIE Oh listen I done what you want. I got the kid back in school. That's what you were worrying about. You don't have to worry about nothing no more goodbye.

Archie goes to the door.

WAKEFIELD I'm not finished.

ARCHIE Well I am!

WAKEFIELD Mr. Bunker children just like adults need to deal with death it's part of life. Stephanie need to talk about this. If she doesn't it could have serious consequences.

ARCHIE I know my job and I'm doing it. You just do your job, case closed.

FADE TO BLACK.

END OF PART ONE

PART TWO

ACT THREE SCENE ONE

FADE IN:

INT.BAR Kitchen-day

Veronica is filling two cups with coffee camera pans over to Archie and Murray.

ARCHIE First thing she tells me she ain't a truant officer she's a councilor. Geese what the hell is the difference

MURRAY Well truant officers get them back to school the councilors keep them there.

ARCHIE Well I always thought a councilor was someone who changed wet sheets at a summer camp.

VERONICA We didn't have no councilors when I was a kid. All I had was a Gym Coach and the only counseling she ever gave me was that all boys was dirty. Two Coffees one with sugar one without.

MURRAY Well which ones mine.

VERONICA The one with.

MURRAY Which one is it.

Veronica puts her finger in one of the cups and then puts her finger in her mouth. Digested Murray pushes that cup to Veronica.

MURRAY You know something I think that councilor is right. Stephanie can't handle thing the way you can. So I think you should do whatever the councilor told you to do.

VERONICA That's what I say.

ARCHIE But she said I ought to let Stephanie help me go through all of Edith's stuff. You know Pack and maybe let her keep something that belonged to her.

MURRAY Well that's a good idea!

VERONICA I kept my Aunt Josie's amides rosary beads.

MURRAY It over a month it's time.

ARCHIE Yah well I guess its got to be done.

MURRAY Well who else is going to do it?

ARCHIE Veronica!

VERONICA What! No! No no! no! I know what you think. You want me to go over to your place tomorrow and help pack up all Edith's clothes and stuff.

ARCHIE You wouldn't have to do it alone you know. I could get our neighbor Polly Swanson to come in and help you.

Veronica starts to cry.

VERONICA Oh Archie! Archie!

Veronica cry's some more.

ARCHIE Alright alright forget it forget it.

VERONICA I'll do it I'll do it. I just got to do this first.

Veronica walks away crying. Murray gets up to follow her Archie tugs on his arm.

ARCHIE No wait a Minute wait a Minute where-where are you going?

MURRAY I'm going inside to cheer her up.

ARCHIE In the ladies toilet?

Murray realizes what Veronica is doing and wit a embarrassed look on his face sits back down.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) One other thing the councilor told me that it would be good if Stephanie had a hart to hart talk about how she feels about all of this.

MURRAY Well that's an excellent idea.

ARCHIE Good come over tonight.

MURRAY I can't do it you have to do it.

ARCHIE Oh no no the councilor said I am the very last Pearson that should try to do that. She said I should get a close family friend. She made a particular point of that.

MURRAY That doesn't sound right to me. A

RCHIE (RAISING HIS VOICE) What do you mean. It don't sound right.

MURRAY It doesn't sound right.

ARCHIE I'm trying-----

HARRY Hay fellows this problems getting to be well known out here.

Harry slams closed the window door to the bar area.

ARCHIE You just told me to do everything the councilor told me well I'm doing that and let me tell you something she was a very pretty young women. Jewish I think.

MURRAY what does that got to do with anything?

ARCHIE Do you want to be a close family friend? Or don't you?

FADE TO:ARCHIE's Kitchen

ACT THREE SCENE TWO

INT.HOUSE-NIGHT

Archie gets Ice Cream and a big serving spoon out the freezer in the kitchen and proceeds to the diner table in the living room where Murray is sitting with Stephanie. Where they have just eaten dinner.

ARCHIE Well how about the Ice Cream? MURRAY Oh no Arch. No more for me I'm full up ah.

ARCHIE No ice cream well.

MURRAY Boy that dinner. That was good.

ARCHIE Oh well there's nothing to it all you need is the time the talent and the Cornel's phone number. OK when your finished I'll do up the dishes here ha.

STEPHANIE Can I help?

Archie No no no let me do this. I'll do this my self. I bought this new detergent I want to test out. It's supposed to make your hands as smooth as a baby's behind.

Archie goes into the kitchen.

MURRAY well that chicken was good wasn't it.

STEPHANIE Fine Goodnight.

Stephanie heads for the stairs.

MURRAY The coleslaw was taste wasn't it.

STEPHANIE It was creamy.

MURRAY Wait wait wait wait where are you going?

STEPHANIE To my room.

MURRAY You know Steph. You and I haven't had a good talk for a long time. How about a little talk right now.

STEPHANIE What do you want to talk about?

MURRAY Well lets talk about you ha. How have you been feeling lately.

STEPHANIE OK.

MURRAY OK ha. Come here sit down.

Murray takes Stephanie's hand they head for the couch.

MURRAY (CONT'D) You know you can tell me if you haven't been feeling good lately. You Know that. Here you go.

They sit down on the couch.

MURRAY (CONT'D) I heard that you missed school for a couple of days there.

Silence

MURRAY (CONT'D) You know Steph a couple of years ago when my father died I remember not wanting to talk to anybody about it and one day I decided to talk about it. I want to tell you I felt so much better.

STEPHANIE I want to talk to him about my Aunt Edith, but he won't let me.

MURRAY He won't?

STEPHANIE No. Every time I mention her he changes the subject or gets mad. And he's been acting so weird.

MURRAY Oh how do you mean?

STEPHANIE He won't answer the phone. He won't open all the cards we been getting and he's sleeping on the couch now.

MURRAY Every night?

STEPHANIE Aaha. Ever since Aunt Edith died.

Murray's face shrugs.

STEPHANIE (CONT'D) Can I go now?

MURRAY Umhu ya ya-ya.

Murray sits back of the couch and Stephanie goes up the stairs.

STEPHANIE Thanks.

MURRAY Goodnight.

Archie is eavesdropping in the kitchen with his ear to the kitchen door Murray opens the door with Archie's ear pressed on it. Archie feeling pain puts his had over his ear.

ARCHIE Oh gees.

Murray enters the kitchen. M

URRAY What happened?

ARCHIE You crushed my ear lob hum.

MURRAY Well I didn't think you were eavesdropping.

ARCHIE I wasn't eavesdropping.

MURRAY Oh what were you doing?

ARCHIE I was trying to eavesdrop. Gees were talking too low. So?

MURRAY Well we had a very nice little talk. How are you getting along.

ARCHIE What do you mean me? I'm fine fine.

MURRAY How come your sleeping on the couch?

ARCHIE You wasn't supposed to be talking to her about me.

MURRAY But we did. A

RCHIE Well gee Didn't you ever fall asleep in front of the TV some night ha?

They walk through the door into the living room.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) You know I mean every once in a while.

MURRAY Yah every once in a while.

ARCHIE Yah sure it happens. I'll tell you something else you be surprised the interesting stuff you pick up on them late TV talk shows. Hay they're better the National Enquirer.

MURRAY Arch will you level with me? Now you been sleeping on that couch ever night now come on. A

RCHIE Alright I'll level with you. I could never get a decent nights rest of that bed up there.

Archie heads for the door. Archie takes Murray's hat and overcoat off the rack.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Now that's the truth. You know Edith always liked that bed,And now that I'm alone. I's really thinking about selling it.

Archie hands Murray the jacket and places the hat on Murray's head.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) I'll tell you something you won't believe.

Murray removes the hat from his head.

MURRAY I don't doubt that.

ARCHIE That old sofa there is way more comfortable.

MURRAY Why didn't you sign the death claim?

Archie looks at Murray silent for a second.

ARCHIE Hay listen Murray you know I think we talked enough we did yah. I want to thank you very much for coming over and helping me with the kid, but from now on you know. Stay out of my business!

Archie opens the front door for Murray.

MURRAY OK alright.

As Murray enters the doorway he turns around.

MURRAY (CONT'D) Just one more thing though.

ARCHIE Tomorrow.

MURRAY Now. I came over here to find out about Stephanie's problem. I did the problem is you.

Murray turns around and walks away. Camera stays on Archie in doorway.

ARCHIE Bah.

Archie closes the door. Now we are in Stephanie room dressed ready for bed. She is on her bed reading a school book. We hear a knock at the door.

STEPHANIE You can come in.

ARCHIE Oh that's nice your doing your homework ah.

STEPHNIE Oahu. I'm doing a report do you know anything about Zimbabwe?

ARCHIE Zimbabwe aaah that's a forward for the Knicks. Big tall colored guy.

STEPHANIE Never mind.

ARCHIE Did you have a nice talk with Murray?

STEPHANIE Oaha do you want to talk?

ARCHIE Well I don't want to bother you well your doing your homework there you know. That's the important thing you keep it that and I'll holler out good night through the door a little latter.

We see a close-up Stephanie's sad looking face.

FADE TO BLACK.

----------------COMMERCIAL Break-------------------------

ACT FOUR SCENE ONE

FADE IN:

INT.BUNKERS' BEDROOM-DAY

Veronica and Polly are just about finished packing up Edith's stuff. Veronica is near a box full with Edith's dresses next to the bed which has been striped of it's sheets and blanket. Polly is next to the closet holding one of Edith's dresses. Stephanie is on the bed looking through Edith's jewelry box.

VERONICA Well this looks like the last of it.

POLLY You know I must have seen Edith wear this dress one hundred times. I can just picture her in it running like crazy to the door.

STEPHANIE Or running up the stairs.

POLLY Or running to the kitchen. You know your Aunt Edith was into jogging long before anybody else.

Stephanie smiles.

STEPHANIE You know it feels real strange going through her things. It's like she's still here.

VERONICA Ya it does feel funny. I almost expect to see her come walking right in the door.

Veronica turns to Polly who is standing near the window.

VERONICA Ah Theirs nothing left of her things in the dresser.

POLLY This is it for the closet. Stephie did you find something you want to keep?

STEPHANIE I'm going to keep this pin.

Stephanie has picked out a hart shaped pin from Edith's jewelry box.

STEPHANIE (CONT'D) Aunt Edith said she was going to give it to me for my sixteenth birthday. So I'm going to keep it and not wear it until then. It will be like she's still here to give it to me.

VERONICA

That's very sweet Steph. Alright where does all this stuff go? Does it go over to Jersey or where?

POLLY Oh no Stephanie and I talked about it and we decided that Edith would want it to go to the Sunshine Home.

STEPHANIE That's where my Aunt Edith worked for the old people who don't have any money.

VERONICA Lets take the stuff down to the car.

POLLY Here let me help you.

VERONICA No I got it Polly.

Veronica picks up the big heavy box.

POLLY I suppose it's wishful thinking that Archie will be back in time to help us.

Veronica caries the box to the bedroom door.

VERONICA Oh he may be back just in time to hold the door open for us.

Polly turns and looks at Stephanie closing Edith's jewelry box on the bed. Stephanie looks at Edith's pin that is in her hand.

FADE TO:KITCHEN

ACT FOUR SCENE TWO

The door from the kitchen to the outside is open. Archie comes in carrying a brown grocery bag.

ARCHIE Ah gees look at this door. Barney's dog could get in here and go all over the kitchen.

Archie puts the bag down on the table and enters the living room. Stephanie is holding a small box.

ARCHIE Hay who left the back door open?

STEPHANIE I did I'll go close it.

ARCHIE Never mind I already done that already. Polly carry's a big box down the stairs.

VERONICA You just in time this here is the last box.

ARCHIE Oh hay I have been back sooner it was like a madhouse at the supermarket you know. 100 old ladies going crazy. It seems they got a new bag boy that looks like Merv Griffin. That's the last of it ha.

POLLY that's it.

STEPHANIE All accept for this.

Stephanie puts her box which is being held by Polly and Veronica on each end. Stephanie then walks up to Archie.

STEPHANIE Look what I decided to keep.

Stephanie shows Archie Edith's hart shaped pin.

STEPHANIE (CONT'D) This pin.

ARCHIE Ya OK that's very nice. Well I want to thank all of yous for helping.

VERONICA Your welcome.

POLLY Any time Archie. Hay lets get going.

VERONICA Ya.

ARCHIE Hay I can help you there. I can hold the door open for you.

VERONICA What did I tell you.

STEPHANIE Bye Polly bye Veronica.

VERONICA So long honey.

POLLY Bye.

STEPHANIE Thank you.

ARCHIE See you down the bar Veronica.

VERONICA Ya.

ARCHIE Hay Polly I'll be yelling to you over the back fence.

POLLY Ok Archie. A

fter they leave Archie takes off his hat and puts it on the rack. Archie goes up to Stephanie who is looking at the pin.

ARCHIE Why don't you go upstairs and hide that.

Archie sits down in his chair.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) So you don't lose it.

STEPHANIE I won't lose it.

ARCHIE Do what I tell you

Stephanie stands still and looks at the pin.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Will you please do what I tell you?

Stephanie goes upstairs Archie sits back still in his chair. The Door bell rings.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Leave it to them to forget something.

Archie opens the door thinking it is Veronica and Polly.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) What did yous forget oh.

Archie sees that it is a women that he does not know at the door.

ARLENE Hello I'm Arlene Schiff from Ultra Lady cosmetics.

ARCHIE Oh well I don't need no cosmetics.

ARLENE I'm sure you don't. Is Edith at home? A

RCHIE No.

ARLENE She knew I was coming by today.

ARCHIE Well yah she's gone.

ARLENE Do you know when she'll be back?

ARCHIE No.

ARLENE Well I have the cosmetics she ordered last month. I'll just come back tomorrow.

ARCHIE Oh no no no don't do that. Step in step in.

She steps into the house.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) I suppose there something owing on that.

Arlene looks at her receipt.

ARLENE She has a balance of $13.47

ARCHIE Oh well I got a $20 bill.

She hands the bag of cosmetics over to Archie.

ARLENE Let me get you some change.

She is looking in her pocket book for change.

ARCHIE Oh well I tell you what don't bother with that. You keep the change.

ARLENE Oh well thank you. Oh listen my numbers there tell her if she has any question she can call me. Thank you.

ARCHIE Yah yah don't mention it.

Arlene leaves. Archie holds up the bag.

ARCHIE Never could say no to nobody. Never could turn nobody away.

ACT FOUR SCENE THREE

FADE TO:BEDROOM DOOR

INT. BEDROOM -EVENING

Archie walks into his and Edith's bedroom. And closed two empty drawers in the dresser. Archie sits down on the bed and finds one of Edith's slippers on the floor. Sadness encompasses him. To Archie the slipper represents Edith.

ARCHIE It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be the first one to go. I always used to kid you about you going first. You know I never meant none of that and that morning when yous was laying there. I was shaking you and yelling at you to go down and fix my breakfast. I didn't know. You had no rite to leave me that way.

Archie starts to cry.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Without giving me just one more chance to say I love you.

Archie breaks down and brings the slipper to his face. Stephanie walks through the open door. A

RCHIE She was the one that was supposed to stay down here with you you know. Not me. Because I ain't no good at none of this. Oh well

Archie pulls out his handkerchief and wipes the tears from his eyes.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) I tell you what we do. On Saturday I'll borrow Murray's car and you and me will take a little ride to the cemetery.

STEPHANIE Can we bring flowers?

ARCHIE Yah sure. What kind?

STEPHANIE Carnations.

ARCHIE Oh yah yah carnations. She was always crazy about carnations.

ARCHIE (WHISPERING) Come here.

Stephanie walks to Archie he puts his arms around her.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) Are you alright now?

STEPHANIE I'm alright.

Stephanie kisses Archie on the cheek.

STEPHANIE (CONT'D) Should I start cooking dinner?

ARCHIE Yah you can do that. But first you better go to the linen chest out there and get some stuff for the bed here. Gees who the hell striped this bed?

STEPHANIE Aunt Mabel from Hackensack.

ARCHIE Oowd Mabel from Hackensack. How did she think I was ever going to use my bed without no sheets and Blanket and pillow cases here?

Stephanie leaves the room.

ARCHIE (CONT'D) God, them people from Jersey is brutes.

Camera pans away from Archie. Until it becomes a long shot of Archie on the bed.

THE END