Originally posted by Brian Damage
Kramer

"I don't like when a woman says, 'Make love to me', it's intimidating. The last time a woman said that to me, I wound up apologizing to her."

haha, George.

"The alternative media, Jerry. That's where you hear the truth."

Kramer

"Maybe I'll go visit my mother. She just bought me some new panties and they're all laid out for me."

Elaine.

"I know what I think. I think you're gaga over this dame. She's twisted you around her little finger, and now, you're willing to sell me, and Elaine, and whoever else you have to, right down the river."

Kramer

" 'Fax me some halibut.' Is that funny? Is that a joke?"

Jerry? I'm thinking when he was trying to figure out what he had written.

yes

"I opt for happiness, James Caan doesn't opt for happiness!"

Jerry

If Relationship George walks through this door, he will kill Independent George. A George divided against itself cannot stand!"

George


"Here's your pizza pea brains".

Mario

Santa is not a Commie. He just forgot how his good friend stuck his neck out for him to get him a good job like this. Didn't he Santa!

Mickey?

Yes

"I hear thee".

George

"I guess I just wasn't ready for the responsibilities of a pretend-marriage."

Jerry.

"Puke? That's a funny word. Can I use that?"

Bania

"We're not skinheads."

Elaine. (The Parking Garage)

"More Pledge?! I just bought two cans last week and I don't even have any wood in the house!"

Originally posted by Seinatra
Elaine. (The Parking Garage)

"More Pledge?! I just bought two cans last week and I don't even have any wood in the house!"

Jerry?

Yes, very good. It was the 'TV' Jerry.

"I notice people staring at my head because they like what they see":dance:

George

"I should drop dead if she's not beautiful."

Helen Seinfeld


"Yes, I know so. You happen to be a very eligible lesbian."

George (to Susan).

". . . he kicked at me with the other foot and threw some change at me. Oh, but I didn't want the change Georgie. I wanted the cashmere."

I don't recall her name, maybe Lupe? She was the maid that caused Goergie to get fired by Lippman.

"Your damn right you screwed up. Where the hell did you get that damn balm anyway?"

Jackie Childs- the lawyer-don't know if I spelled the last name right.


"Your'e lucky, at least you have something to do".

George?

No, this person is not part of the foursome. He appeared, I believe on the show only once and dated Elaine for a very brief time.

Oh, LOL, now I remember. Fred.

"Are you kidding? I've seen 'em squint. He can squint his way down to like twenty, thirty vision. Once we were driving down from the Catskills and he lost his glasses. He squinted his way from Wortsborough down to the Tappan Zee Bridge! He was spotting raccoons, on the road!"

Jerry I believe?

Correct.

"Trust me, your'e off.

Originally posted by rusyd
"Trust me, your'e off.

Sounds like the "K" man?

I'd go with Jerry talking to George, when George was complaining about having to go out to eat and having "to be on". :)

You know my quote says it was Elaine who said it, but I can't remember what episode. So, I don't know who is up now?

I just tried a search, and the only thing I could find that matched it was when Jerry said it. Let me know if you remember Elaine saying it. I will go ahead and post a new one:

"We could argue all night over who took the napkins. The point is in today's modern world it just doesn't seem relevant."

Jerry


"The dewey decimal system. What a scam that was".

mer

"I don't know too many monkeys that can take apart a fuel injector."

Puddy


"George, we dine".

Jacob Peterman

"Sid Farkus?! You're not having dinner with a bra salesman!"

Frank

"I'd rather be dating the blind. You know, you could let the house go. You could let yourself go. A good looking blind woman doesn't even know you're not good enough for her."

George?

Yes

"Why does Radio Shack ask for your phone number when you buy batteries? I don't know."

Kramer


"Oooh, memory burn".

Kramer?

You got it. The episode of the the library cop.

"Jerry, for all I know this guy went out of his way to not invite you. How am I gonna feel if I show up with an uninvited, unwelcome intruder?"

George?

Yes, George.

"I'm open, there's just nothing in there".

Jerry.

"Pam ... Pam! ... PAM!!"

Kramer

Jerry wouldn't know delicate beauty if it bludgeoned him over the head.

Newman


"Chalk me up on the big board".

Lloyd Braun

It's like going to Idaho and eating carrots. I like carrots, but I'm in Idaho... I want a potato.

Jerry.

"What kind of stupid show is this? Hey! It's that's the idiot that took all my records!"

Sid Fields

"You know that Kim Novak has some big breasts."

Sal Bass

"You want my friend to ask his uncle, a man who just lost his life after 44 years, for a death certificate so that he can save a few bucks on a flight?"

George

"Hey, fatso, I got a 90 in biology."

Kramer

"That knife, it nicked your jugular. You know Jerry, when somebody yells 'heads up', you're not supposed to actually look up."

Kramer


"And I'm thousands of fleeing Japanese".

George

"I mean, she thought it was kind of strange to just order a salad. . . . You know. . . . For a man."

Elaine



"You know,your'e getting to be an annoying little chore yourself".

Jerome Seinfeld

"Hey. Oh, Jerry, listen uh, you know, I saw the rest of that movie,
The Other Side Of Darkness? The coma lady wakes up at the end."

Originally posted by Seinatra
Jerome Seinfeld

"Hey. Oh, Jerry, listen uh, you know, I saw the rest of that movie,
The Other Side Of Darkness? The coma lady wakes up at the end."

Kramer?

Yes.

"Retail is for suckers."

Kramer.

"You think I want another family? My father's demanding my uncle pay interest on fifty dollars he was supposed to give my mother in 1941, and my uncle put my nana in a home to try and shut her up! And I tell you another thing, Cosmo Kramer, whatever you wanna be called. The kissing thing is over. There's no more kissing, and I don't care what the consequences are."

Originally posted by Seinatra
Kramer.

"You think I want another family? My father's demanding my uncle pay interest on fifty dollars he was supposed to give my mother in 1941, and my uncle put my nana in a home to try and shut her up! And I tell you another thing, Cosmo Kramer, whatever you wanna be called. The kissing thing is over. There's no more kissing, and I don't care what the consequences are."

Jerry?

Yes.

"What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?"

Jerry?

Originally posted by rusyd
Jerry?

Yes, my dear! :wave:

"It's freezing. It hurts your teeth".

Elaine re the cold water.

"You see Elaine, Billy was a simple country boy. You might say a cockeyed optimist who got himself mixed up in the high stakes game of world diplomacy and international intrigue."

"You see Elaine, Billy was a simple country boy. You might say a cockeyed optimist who got himself mixed up in the high stakes game of world diplomacy and international intrigue." [/B][/QUOTE]

I think Jerry said this? I remember the statement but not sure if it was Jerry.

Not Jerry.

I believe it was Kramer?

Correct. And then Elaine repeated basically the same thing during her interview.

Yeah, that's right.


"I don't understand lunch,I don't know anything about lunch".

George, trying to get Elaine onto another subject.

"Six months ago you were eating four of those for breakfast and chasing it with a ring ding. And two butter fingers on the train. Sounds familiar?"

Kramer

"I have no medical evidence to back me up, but something happened during the operation that staved off that infection. Something beyond science. Something perhaps from above..."

The doctor who performed on Elaine's starving artist boyfriend. What was his name?


"This woman's completly ignoring me".

Jerry

Yeah yeah, I know your type. You're too good to make conversation with someone like me. Oh god forbid you could discuss the Jumbles. But to go so far as to pretend you're almost deaf, I mean that is truly disgusting. And Mr. Tom Hanks, may I say he too would be disgusted by your behavior.

Driver of Elaine's car service.

"I gotta be honest with you, I gotta tell you ... Ever since I saw you holding hands with that woman, I can't get you out of my mind."

George


"Then she'll need a little shot of penicillin".

Jerry.

"The perfect combination of Mountain Dew and mozzarella ... just the right amount of grease on the joy stick"

George?

Yes Rosy Rusy.

"It's exhausting being with you".

Elaine.

Originally posted by rusyd
"It's exhausting being with you".

I was thinking Jerry. With the girlfriend that George helped Jerry with. ????

I am pretty sure it was Elaine.

"Don't you see what Whatley is after? Total joke telling immunity. He's already got the two big religions covered, if he ever gets Polish citizenship there will be no stopping him."

You are correct. I believe she was talking to Jerry in the apartment, of course.

I didn't realize another page had started. Anyway that was Jerry complaining about Watley.


"I would lose that".

Jerry?

Yes, I believe it was the pez episode.

"Everything's timed out to perfection, Jerry. Slippery Pete's got the Frogger running on battery power, the truck will be there any minute, and Kramer's taped out the loading zone."

George?

Yes.

"And you wanna be my latex salesman"?

Jerry

"Why don't you park in front of the hydrant??"

Kramer

"So you have fleas. Maybe you keep your house in a state of disrepair. Maybe you live in squalor."

Newman I believe?

Yes

"Fasten your seat belts,we're going to see the baby".

Jerry?

Yes

"If I go back in there without any food, there's gonna be trouble!"

I believe that was Kramer refering to his girlfriend?

Correct Rusy.

that is correct

"Weight, no you just need some height".

Jerry?

Yes,he was talking to the comedian who did the voices down in history in a taxi.

"Well, I happened to be eating at Poppie's when I told him the "old" idea, and his eyes - waaaaaah! - just lit up. You know, he wants to back it."

Kramer

Oh! Nuts! Excellent! You know what I love? How there's two nuts named after people. Hazel...and filbert.

George from The Couch

Looks like we saw the same epi Brian.

"Tell him your code! Shout out your code, man!"

Peterman

"Alright George, alright. I'm sorry. I'm very very sorry. I'm so sorry that I didn't want your rather bulbous head struggling to find its way through the normal size neckhole of my finely knit sweater."

Jason Hanky

"No Babu! No Babu! You bad man! You very bad man! You very lazy bad man!"

Babu

Serenity now. Insanity later.

Lloyd Braun


"Yes you do Biff".

Jerry S.

"You know you hurt the Meastro's feelings."

Kramer


"What kind of a sick impulse is that"?

George

"Just crease, crumple, cram. You'll do fine."

Newman


"You got my spot"!

I can't place it!

The person who said it is in a bar talking to another comediean. Hint Hint.

Jerry!

"Of course I'm back. Why wouldn't I be back? My mother's in the hospital, I'm going to pay her a visit."

George in the Contest

Yeah, since she met him she's been vomited on, her family cabin's been burned down, she learned her father's a homosexual, and she got fired from a high paying network job. Yeah, they had a real good thing going.

I believe that is Jerry talking about Susan?

Not Jerry

A dose of reality from ELAINE!

"Well if it happened to Houdini what chance do I have???"

George


"Actually, that's the definition of selfish".

Jerry

"Where I go? You mean she was asking me to wear this ridiculous shirt on national TV, and I said Yes?!"

Jerry talking about the pirate shirt


"George, you're obviously lying. Anyone can see that".

J. Peterman

"No, no, no. Give it to her. I'd rather it belonged to another
than see it destroyed. Newman, give it to her, I beg you."

Kramer


"You gotta follow that car".

Elaine?

Not sure ...

Yes, the episode where Jerry witnesses a woman smashing into another persons car. He was talking to Elaine on his car phone at the time.

Senior Damage :wave:

"He's the 'Got-no-Green' Lantern."
and
"Maybe his girlfriend is Lois Loan."

Jerry I believe?

Yes

"That is one tough monkey".

Jerry?

*error*

Originally posted by Seinatra
"Maybe his girlfriend is Lois Loan."
I thought that was Elaine, but its George & not Jer.

Sorry to butt-in, I was sein-bored with the nil-activity of the forum.

Yes to Seinatra about the "that is one tough monkey"- it was Jerry.

Thanks for the correction Maestro.

New quote:

"You go out with a guy one time, you ask him to go upstairs like you're Mae West? Of course he's gonna try and get you alone for the weekend."

Jerry


"I think it's on the wagon".

George

Oh, but I didn't want the change Georgie. I wanted the cashmere.

The cleaning lady from Elaine's office that George had sex on the desk with. Don't recall her name.


"What's that red dot on your sweater"?

Kramer.

"You know your not Chinese!"

Jerry

"That's my ass in your window!"

Elaine


"Eat,eat, your'e skin and bones".

Kramer

"You know what, the keys. I want the keys. You've lost your key privileges."

Jerry?

Yes, Jerry.

"Your'e a very handsome man by the way".

Frank

Not Frank but the other one

Ah, Georgie said it.


"I don't need a reason to give gifts, it's my nature. I love to make people happy."

Jerry - Cigar Store Indian

"Yea. I rented the move Edward Scissorhands. That Johnny Depp, he make-a me cry."

Barber Gino
The Barber

I don't think it was Gino!

Enzo

"I'll tell the maitre'd it'll just be the three bulls."

Mr. Peterman


"I think I'm gonna be sick".

Elaine?

Yes, the baby adopting episode.

"In the whole world right now, there's maybe three emergencies. Why would you think, on this entire planet, that you're one of those three?"

George

To the gal he was trying to move on (from the right side of the couch), as she got the emergency/someone died phone call.

"It's simple physics. Calculate the velocity, v, in relation to the trajectory, t, in which g, gravity, of course remains a constant. It's not complicated."

George, when he was smart?
The Abstinence

Yes, Georgie using his full head o' lettuce :D

"My teeth! You idiots!!!"

Sid the Old man

"How about an intercourse hello? How would that be?"

Elaine?

Yes

"Would,does,is".

Elaine?

No not Elaine. It is the mentor episode and the person is talking to his girlfriend in his apartment.

Jerry?

You got it.

"Drink your soda! Come on! I know you're there, laughing at
me. Laughing and lying and laughing! I had to go to Reggies, Jerry! Reggies!"

George?

yes.

I want that free sub"!

'lainey?

Yes it was Elaine

"This guy could be a little bonkos."

Regis Philbin. I actually just used that quote in a conversation a day or two ago.

"Jerry, are you aware that adult diapers are a six hundred million dollar a year industry?"

Kramer


"Why don't I give you my phone number".

Elaine?

Yes It was to Denim vest guy.

"Thank God the flincher didn't harm the baby"

The Mohel

If my parents had a mantle, I might be a completely different person.

George?

That was George.

"Happy Festivus Georgie".

Elaine

What is that noise? It's traveling up my spine into my brain!

Yuri Testicleoff

"Of course, it would have to be someone who hasn't heard the story before. Someone who is unencumbered by any emotional attachment. Someone whose heart is so dark, it cannot be swayed by pity, compassion, or human emotion of any kind."

Jerry I believe?

Yes, regarding Newman

"Oh he's a tomcat".

Not sure ...

The ep where the person is talking to two faced on the street about Jerry.

Kramer

"And Kramer - your in charge of taping off the loading zone."

Originally posted by Seinatra
Kramer

"And Kramer - your in charge of taping off the loading zone."

George?

Is it true? Sarrahs Mama is back?

:faint:


George is correct.

Originally posted by Seinatra
Is it true? Sarrahs Mama is back?

:faint:


George is correct.

"Trust me, I know the look"


Yes, I am back! Stopped getting notices. Thanks!:happyface

George?

Originally posted by Seinatra
George?


No, Let me see if I can remember the whole line......

"You're the big look expert, I wanna see how smart you are" Elaine said this to and he replied back "Trust me, I know the look"

Jerry?

Originally posted by The Modfather
Jerry?

Yes, your up Modfather!

I have been gone for so long we have new people... Welcome!:wave:

"Well, people kept ringing the bell!"

Hi, nice to meet you!

Kramer



"Biff, what did ya whistle on the elevator"?

Kramer

"Cartwright?" ... "Cartwright?" ... "Yeah, I just got a call. I yell 'Cartwright! Cartwright!', just like that. Nobody came up, I hang up."

you beat me to the punch rusyd!

Originally posted by rusyd
Kramer

"Biff, what did ya whistle on the elevator"?

Jerry.

New Quote:

"Cartwright?" ... "Cartwright?" ... "Yeah, I just got a call. I yell 'Cartwright! Cartwright!', just like that. Nobody came up, I hang up."

Bruce -- the host at the Chinese restaurant.

"They said I was gonna get great gifts, and then, somebody gives me Boggle. I renounce my religion!"

Little Littman - Adam?

Hey where is everybody? Seinatra I know Littmans kid said that quote from Tgirl, and I do believe his name was Adam, but I'm not positive. So, I suppose you are up.

"Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called, and there running out of you."

Originally posted by Seinatra
"Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called, and there running out of you."

Georgie!


Since I know I'm absolutely right, I'll just go ahead. http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/icons/icon12.gif

"I don't chew gum. The only gum I ever liked came in a Mickey Mouse gumball machine. But they haven't sold those in 20 years."

Walter- the sidler?

Originally posted by The Modfather
Walter- the sidler?

Sidler is correct!

yes

Kramer I believe?