WickedEnemy
02-24-2004, 12:02 AM
This is my screenplay that I wrote based on Three's Company (season 4). It's completely finished and I'd like to know what you think. If you people like it, maybe I'll write more and post them on the fan fiction board. I originally posted this on Esam's thread, but it seems like nobody will be reading his posts anytime soon. So here it is...
----
Jack has been complaining about his bad back ALL day.
He can barely stand up straight and barely walk.
He thinks he might have a pinched nerve in his lower back when he was playing a game of basketball with Larry.
Janet and Chrissy try to console and tell him to go lay down and they'll take care of all the errands.
Jack asks if Janet and Chrissy can help him into bed and sit there with him for a little bit until he falls asleep.
Chrissy tells him that she has to get in the shower and go to her job to pick up her paycheck or else she won't have her share of the rent money in time.
But Janet says she will help Jack as long as keeps his hands to himself.
Jack does his usual flirtatious schtick with Janet and she rolls her eyes and laughs it off.
Janet helps Jack unto his bed but he falls off and rolls on the floor. Janet tries lifting up Jack but he's too heavy. Janet struggles with a little help from Jack and gets him on the bed again.
Meanwhile, Chrissy gets undressed and into her robe to take a shower. Right when she walks out of her bedroom. The door bell rings.
DING DONG
Chrissy says, "I'll get it!"
Chrissy opens the door and it's Mr. Furley.
The studio audience goes wild because Mr Furley is wearing a pink shirt with ducks all over it. He thinks its real macho.
Mr Furley explains to Chrissy that he promised Jack he would take a look at his window today because it wasn't shutting all the way.
Mr. Furley notices Chrissy is wearing a robe and asks if she always wears a robe to answer the door or was she converting the apartment into a steam room. Mr Furley laughs hysterically and Chrissy looks confused and laughs with Mr. Furley so he doesn't sound stupid.
Just then Mr. Furley hears Janet say...
"Jack just get on the bed! I'm tired of playing these games"
Mr. Furley's eyes get WIDE.
"I'm sorry Janet, I can't move it. It's real stiff"
Mr. Furley's mouth opens in disbelief.
"Ever since Larry slammed into it, It's been aching."
Mr. Furley storms into Jack's room and sees Janet helping Jack slide off his pants as he lays in bed.
"Wha...wha....what are you doing in here?" asks Mr Furley.
Janet responds with, "Oh Mr. Furley Jack injured himself when him and Larry were.."
Mr. Furley doesnt want to hear it and he cuts off Janet.
"Save it Janet!" Mr. Furley snaps back.
"I told you kids, I don't want ANY hanky panky going on in here and you better quit it now because I'm not gonna have it"
Just then Chrissy comes in the room to see what all the comotion is about and asks...
"Janet, do you want me to help you?...oh nevermind"
Mr. Furley looks both ways.
"You mean he was, she was, you both were.."
"Mr. Furley we were helping Jack get.."
"For God's sake, put on some clothes Chrissy"
Mr Furley rushes towards the door.
Just then Jack says...
"Mr Furley what about my window?"
Mr Furley responds with...
"Oh I need to get my tool box. I left it downstairs on accident."
Jack tells Mr. Furley...
"I've got a tool box in the closet, you can use mine."
Mr Furley responds with...
"Thats not the only thing in the closet around here"
And storms off.
::CUT SCENE::
Jack has been laying in bed for hours and is starving.
Chrissy is still gone and Janet left to go get groceries.
Then... The phone rings
Jack puts the pillow over his head to try and block out the sound.
But it keeps ringing
and ringing and ringing.
Jack asks himself, "Who needs to talk to us THAT bad?"
Then it dawns on Jack that he has a date with the beautiful
redhead named Kasey.
Finally Jack slides out of bed and wiggles like a snake to his
bedroom door.
The phone IS STILL ringing.
He yelps like a dog as he grabs the door knob and struggles to his feet.
He walks to the phone hunched over and slowly and says hello
with heavy breaths before and after.
"Donna? Oh hi Donna"
Jack forgot that Donna was supposed to come over and that he was going to make dinner for her.
Jack tells Donna that he needs to make a rain check because..."
Just then Chrissy comes back and opens the door.
"Jack what are you doing out of bed?"
Jack motions to Chrissy keep her voice down.
Chrissy looks confused and tells Jack...
"We took you to bed for a reason. Now come!"
Chrissy starts dragging Jack by the arm...
Jack tells Donna he has to go and that everything is ok, bye bye and hangs up real quick.
Chrissy starts trying to drag Jack back to bed, but Jack tells Chrissy to let him get back up on his feet.
Jack gets back up to his feet and Chrissy helps him up and just then the phone rings again and Chrissy falls on top of Jack unto the couch.
Just then, Mr Furley walks up to the already opened door...
"Hey kids, sorry I took so long, but...."
Mr Furley stares at Jack and Chrissy.
"Now you're doing that hanky panky with the front door open??!?! Now that's just sick!!!"
Mr. Furley walks out of the apartment
Jack and Chrissy watch Mr. Furley leave.
Then look at eachother as the crowd starts to applause.
Then look towards the audience.
::Commercial Break::
It's the next morning and Jack feels way better.
Jack comes into the kitchen and sees Janet and Chrissy sitting at the table drinking coffee and greets them with...
"Good morning girls....The sun is shining, the birds are singing and my back feels sooooo much better."
Janet and Chrissy both compliment him and say they're glad he's feeling better today.
Jack pours himself a glass of milk and explains to the girls that he'll do their body good.
Janet and Chrissy are disgusted and Janet takes the glass of milk out of Jack's hand and dumps it over the head of Jack. Janet storms off.
"Oh come on Janet. I was only kidding!"
Jack looks slightly upset, but says...
"I'm glad you didn't storm out like Janet did, Chrissy. At least SOMEONE understands that even though I'm irresistable, I'm only eye candy for you guys."
Chrissy gets up and Jack thinks she's gonna storm out too.
"Chrissy, not you too!"
Chrissy goes to the cabinet and grabs a box of cereal
"Oh...I'm not leaving Jack. I'm just making a bowl of cereal"
Chrissy opens up the box and dumps the cereal over his head.
Jack isnt surprised and asks in a montonous tone....
"I thought you were going to make a bowl of cereal?"
"I just did. Haven't you ever had Apple Jacks?"
Chrissy snorts after she makes the comment and walks out.
Jack mocks her snort and wipes the cereal off his head.
::CUT SCENE::
Jack is sitting on the couch and looking at a magazine.
Larry knocks on the door with his familiar beat.
KNOCK.KNOCK.KNO.KNO.KNOCK.....KNOCK....KNOCK
"Come in Larry!"
"Yoooo Jacko"
"You are not gonna believe this....so last night I was at the Beagle, and this beautiful redhead is sitting there all by herself for like 30 minutes. So I go over to her and I asked her if I can buy her a drink..."
Jack cuts off Larry...
"Don't tell me her name was Kasey"
Larry looks confused....
"Ya know...Now that you mention it.....she did look like a Kasey."
Jack responds...
"You mean you didn't even ask her?"
"Well I tried, but everytime I asked her she'd say....Larry! oh Larry...yes!...Larry."
Jack just hangs his head down.
"Get this Jack...this is the best part...I guess some idiot stood her up and now HE'S the one that has to deal with her jealous ex boyfriend."
"Anyways Jacko...I gotta run. I got this girl named Donna waiting for me at my apartment. She's all heartbroken because she thinks her boyfriend is cheating on her."
Larry jogs to the door to leave.
"WAIT!....Larry!!!"
"What's up Jack?"
All of sudden a female voice calls out...
"Larry?!?! where are you?!?!"
Larry gets a shiver down his spine and prances out the door.
"Later Jack"
Now Jack is really bummed.
Jack decides that he's gonna go get a drink at the Beagle. But right when he gets to the door Mr Furley is standing there.
"Listen Jack...I need to talk to you"
"Hey Mr Furley....I know yesterday looked bad, but.."
"No Jack....just tell me the truth...are you REALLY gay?"
Jack pretends to be shocked...
"MIS-TER-FUR-LEY"
"Jack I don't want to hear any excuses. Are you gay or not?"
After a brief moment of silence.
"No....I'm not gay."
Mr Furley's eyes go WIDE.
"Jack! You are such a liar"
Mr. Furley storms off.
::CUT SCENE::
"Mike, can I get another drink"
Mike the bartender looks at the 5 glasses that have piled up.
"Woah Jack! That'll be your 6th glass of beer in 30 minutes. Is everything ok?"
"I've just had a horrible day. First i get milk dumped on my head, then i get cereal dumped on my head. Then my bestfriend got with not 1, but 2 of my girlfriends."
"Sounds rough" Mike the bartender replies.
"Yea tell me about it, I wouldn't wish this to happen to my worst enemy" Jack says
"No, I'm talking about your tab" said Mike.
Mike the bartender hands Jack another glass of beer.
All of a sudden this real big, tough looking guy walks into the Beagle.
"Does anyone know where I can find a guy named Jack Tripper?"
Jack turns around.
"Hey...you're the one that was fooling around with my girlfriend, weren't ya?" says the guy when he makes eye contact with Jack.
"Who? Me? No! I'm just..." Jack mutters
The guy pulls out a gun and says...
"Allright....I want you to put down your beer and WAKE UP"
"Come...Come...Co...Come again?" Jack says with a stutter
"WAKE UP I said. WAKE UP." the man demands
Everything starts to get all blurry and then everything goes black.
Jack opens his eyes and he's staring at Larry.
"Wake up Jack! Come on buddy! Are you ok?" Larry asks.
"Huh? What?" Jack says as he lifts his head up.
"Your head hit my thigh when I tried a slam dunk. Are you ok?" Larry asks again.
"Yea I'm fine" Jack responds with confusion.
::Commercial Break::
::Ending Tag Scene::
Jack is sitting on the living room couch with an ice pack on his forehead. His back is sore too.
Janet and Chrissy come in the living room from the kitchen.
"Do you need anything else Jack?" Janet asks.
Jack asks if Janet and Chrissy can help him into bed and sit there with him for a little bit until he falls asleep.
Chrissy tells him that she has to get in the shower and go to her job to pick up her paycheck or else she won't have her share of the rent money in time.
But Janet says she will help Jack as long as keeps his hands to himself.
Jack gets really quiet and he turns his head slightly as if something strange has just occured.
"What's wrong Jack?" asks Janet.
Jack doesn't move or say anything.
Studio Audience starts clapping and the camera pans out and fades to black
::CREDITS::
----
Jack has been complaining about his bad back ALL day.
He can barely stand up straight and barely walk.
He thinks he might have a pinched nerve in his lower back when he was playing a game of basketball with Larry.
Janet and Chrissy try to console and tell him to go lay down and they'll take care of all the errands.
Jack asks if Janet and Chrissy can help him into bed and sit there with him for a little bit until he falls asleep.
Chrissy tells him that she has to get in the shower and go to her job to pick up her paycheck or else she won't have her share of the rent money in time.
But Janet says she will help Jack as long as keeps his hands to himself.
Jack does his usual flirtatious schtick with Janet and she rolls her eyes and laughs it off.
Janet helps Jack unto his bed but he falls off and rolls on the floor. Janet tries lifting up Jack but he's too heavy. Janet struggles with a little help from Jack and gets him on the bed again.
Meanwhile, Chrissy gets undressed and into her robe to take a shower. Right when she walks out of her bedroom. The door bell rings.
DING DONG
Chrissy says, "I'll get it!"
Chrissy opens the door and it's Mr. Furley.
The studio audience goes wild because Mr Furley is wearing a pink shirt with ducks all over it. He thinks its real macho.
Mr Furley explains to Chrissy that he promised Jack he would take a look at his window today because it wasn't shutting all the way.
Mr. Furley notices Chrissy is wearing a robe and asks if she always wears a robe to answer the door or was she converting the apartment into a steam room. Mr Furley laughs hysterically and Chrissy looks confused and laughs with Mr. Furley so he doesn't sound stupid.
Just then Mr. Furley hears Janet say...
"Jack just get on the bed! I'm tired of playing these games"
Mr. Furley's eyes get WIDE.
"I'm sorry Janet, I can't move it. It's real stiff"
Mr. Furley's mouth opens in disbelief.
"Ever since Larry slammed into it, It's been aching."
Mr. Furley storms into Jack's room and sees Janet helping Jack slide off his pants as he lays in bed.
"Wha...wha....what are you doing in here?" asks Mr Furley.
Janet responds with, "Oh Mr. Furley Jack injured himself when him and Larry were.."
Mr. Furley doesnt want to hear it and he cuts off Janet.
"Save it Janet!" Mr. Furley snaps back.
"I told you kids, I don't want ANY hanky panky going on in here and you better quit it now because I'm not gonna have it"
Just then Chrissy comes in the room to see what all the comotion is about and asks...
"Janet, do you want me to help you?...oh nevermind"
Mr. Furley looks both ways.
"You mean he was, she was, you both were.."
"Mr. Furley we were helping Jack get.."
"For God's sake, put on some clothes Chrissy"
Mr Furley rushes towards the door.
Just then Jack says...
"Mr Furley what about my window?"
Mr Furley responds with...
"Oh I need to get my tool box. I left it downstairs on accident."
Jack tells Mr. Furley...
"I've got a tool box in the closet, you can use mine."
Mr Furley responds with...
"Thats not the only thing in the closet around here"
And storms off.
::CUT SCENE::
Jack has been laying in bed for hours and is starving.
Chrissy is still gone and Janet left to go get groceries.
Then... The phone rings
Jack puts the pillow over his head to try and block out the sound.
But it keeps ringing
and ringing and ringing.
Jack asks himself, "Who needs to talk to us THAT bad?"
Then it dawns on Jack that he has a date with the beautiful
redhead named Kasey.
Finally Jack slides out of bed and wiggles like a snake to his
bedroom door.
The phone IS STILL ringing.
He yelps like a dog as he grabs the door knob and struggles to his feet.
He walks to the phone hunched over and slowly and says hello
with heavy breaths before and after.
"Donna? Oh hi Donna"
Jack forgot that Donna was supposed to come over and that he was going to make dinner for her.
Jack tells Donna that he needs to make a rain check because..."
Just then Chrissy comes back and opens the door.
"Jack what are you doing out of bed?"
Jack motions to Chrissy keep her voice down.
Chrissy looks confused and tells Jack...
"We took you to bed for a reason. Now come!"
Chrissy starts dragging Jack by the arm...
Jack tells Donna he has to go and that everything is ok, bye bye and hangs up real quick.
Chrissy starts trying to drag Jack back to bed, but Jack tells Chrissy to let him get back up on his feet.
Jack gets back up to his feet and Chrissy helps him up and just then the phone rings again and Chrissy falls on top of Jack unto the couch.
Just then, Mr Furley walks up to the already opened door...
"Hey kids, sorry I took so long, but...."
Mr Furley stares at Jack and Chrissy.
"Now you're doing that hanky panky with the front door open??!?! Now that's just sick!!!"
Mr. Furley walks out of the apartment
Jack and Chrissy watch Mr. Furley leave.
Then look at eachother as the crowd starts to applause.
Then look towards the audience.
::Commercial Break::
It's the next morning and Jack feels way better.
Jack comes into the kitchen and sees Janet and Chrissy sitting at the table drinking coffee and greets them with...
"Good morning girls....The sun is shining, the birds are singing and my back feels sooooo much better."
Janet and Chrissy both compliment him and say they're glad he's feeling better today.
Jack pours himself a glass of milk and explains to the girls that he'll do their body good.
Janet and Chrissy are disgusted and Janet takes the glass of milk out of Jack's hand and dumps it over the head of Jack. Janet storms off.
"Oh come on Janet. I was only kidding!"
Jack looks slightly upset, but says...
"I'm glad you didn't storm out like Janet did, Chrissy. At least SOMEONE understands that even though I'm irresistable, I'm only eye candy for you guys."
Chrissy gets up and Jack thinks she's gonna storm out too.
"Chrissy, not you too!"
Chrissy goes to the cabinet and grabs a box of cereal
"Oh...I'm not leaving Jack. I'm just making a bowl of cereal"
Chrissy opens up the box and dumps the cereal over his head.
Jack isnt surprised and asks in a montonous tone....
"I thought you were going to make a bowl of cereal?"
"I just did. Haven't you ever had Apple Jacks?"
Chrissy snorts after she makes the comment and walks out.
Jack mocks her snort and wipes the cereal off his head.
::CUT SCENE::
Jack is sitting on the couch and looking at a magazine.
Larry knocks on the door with his familiar beat.
KNOCK.KNOCK.KNO.KNO.KNOCK.....KNOCK....KNOCK
"Come in Larry!"
"Yoooo Jacko"
"You are not gonna believe this....so last night I was at the Beagle, and this beautiful redhead is sitting there all by herself for like 30 minutes. So I go over to her and I asked her if I can buy her a drink..."
Jack cuts off Larry...
"Don't tell me her name was Kasey"
Larry looks confused....
"Ya know...Now that you mention it.....she did look like a Kasey."
Jack responds...
"You mean you didn't even ask her?"
"Well I tried, but everytime I asked her she'd say....Larry! oh Larry...yes!...Larry."
Jack just hangs his head down.
"Get this Jack...this is the best part...I guess some idiot stood her up and now HE'S the one that has to deal with her jealous ex boyfriend."
"Anyways Jacko...I gotta run. I got this girl named Donna waiting for me at my apartment. She's all heartbroken because she thinks her boyfriend is cheating on her."
Larry jogs to the door to leave.
"WAIT!....Larry!!!"
"What's up Jack?"
All of sudden a female voice calls out...
"Larry?!?! where are you?!?!"
Larry gets a shiver down his spine and prances out the door.
"Later Jack"
Now Jack is really bummed.
Jack decides that he's gonna go get a drink at the Beagle. But right when he gets to the door Mr Furley is standing there.
"Listen Jack...I need to talk to you"
"Hey Mr Furley....I know yesterday looked bad, but.."
"No Jack....just tell me the truth...are you REALLY gay?"
Jack pretends to be shocked...
"MIS-TER-FUR-LEY"
"Jack I don't want to hear any excuses. Are you gay or not?"
After a brief moment of silence.
"No....I'm not gay."
Mr Furley's eyes go WIDE.
"Jack! You are such a liar"
Mr. Furley storms off.
::CUT SCENE::
"Mike, can I get another drink"
Mike the bartender looks at the 5 glasses that have piled up.
"Woah Jack! That'll be your 6th glass of beer in 30 minutes. Is everything ok?"
"I've just had a horrible day. First i get milk dumped on my head, then i get cereal dumped on my head. Then my bestfriend got with not 1, but 2 of my girlfriends."
"Sounds rough" Mike the bartender replies.
"Yea tell me about it, I wouldn't wish this to happen to my worst enemy" Jack says
"No, I'm talking about your tab" said Mike.
Mike the bartender hands Jack another glass of beer.
All of a sudden this real big, tough looking guy walks into the Beagle.
"Does anyone know where I can find a guy named Jack Tripper?"
Jack turns around.
"Hey...you're the one that was fooling around with my girlfriend, weren't ya?" says the guy when he makes eye contact with Jack.
"Who? Me? No! I'm just..." Jack mutters
The guy pulls out a gun and says...
"Allright....I want you to put down your beer and WAKE UP"
"Come...Come...Co...Come again?" Jack says with a stutter
"WAKE UP I said. WAKE UP." the man demands
Everything starts to get all blurry and then everything goes black.
Jack opens his eyes and he's staring at Larry.
"Wake up Jack! Come on buddy! Are you ok?" Larry asks.
"Huh? What?" Jack says as he lifts his head up.
"Your head hit my thigh when I tried a slam dunk. Are you ok?" Larry asks again.
"Yea I'm fine" Jack responds with confusion.
::Commercial Break::
::Ending Tag Scene::
Jack is sitting on the living room couch with an ice pack on his forehead. His back is sore too.
Janet and Chrissy come in the living room from the kitchen.
"Do you need anything else Jack?" Janet asks.
Jack asks if Janet and Chrissy can help him into bed and sit there with him for a little bit until he falls asleep.
Chrissy tells him that she has to get in the shower and go to her job to pick up her paycheck or else she won't have her share of the rent money in time.
But Janet says she will help Jack as long as keeps his hands to himself.
Jack gets really quiet and he turns his head slightly as if something strange has just occured.
"What's wrong Jack?" asks Janet.
Jack doesn't move or say anything.
Studio Audience starts clapping and the camera pans out and fades to black
::CREDITS::