Anyone know what the lady is saying in the opening lyrics to "Are You Being Served?"

I know it's about hats, gents underwear and shoes... but I can't remember it all. And I am wondering about the floors...


THANKS!

Greetings from down under (New Zealand).

The words you are looking for, are:-

Ground floor perfumery,
stationery, and leather goods,
wigs and haberdashery,
kitchenware and food.

Going up.

First floor telephones,
gents ready-made suits,
shirts, socks, ties, hats,
underwear and shoes...

Thank you so much madam,
and good afternoon...

The words were spoken by Stephanie Reeve (nee Gathercole) who also played Mr Rumbold's Secretary in episodes 1, 3, 4, 6 & 10).

Hope this helps.

OK...

so the intro isn't exactly what is on each floor...

I thought the mens wear was on the third floor...

The words tell the customers what's on each floor as they are going up in the lift (elevator in the U.S). Two floors are mentioned (Ground and First), this is interrupted when a customer gets out on the first floor (second floor in the U.S, first floor most other places around the world). It is clear from these words that Menswear is on the first floor. However, the memory often plays tricks on us.

I just caught an episode on PBS that said the ladies and menswear were on the third floor. That's why I was asking...

I thought they were on the third floor for some reason. I'll watch for that. They always seem so tuckered out when they have to take the stairs. And whenever they are doing something at Rumpolds window, they act like it's high up.

The words are from the start of the programme and the interruption is spoken by Mrs Slocombe (Mollie Sugden). At the end of the programme, we hear the rest of the words spoken by Stephanie Reeve. The words in full (without the interruption) are:-

Ground floor perfumery,
stationery, and leather goods,
wigs and haberdashery,
kitchenware and food.

Going up.

First floor telephones,
gents ready-made suits,
shirts, socks, ties, hats,
underwear and shoes.

Going up.

Second floor carpets,
travel goods and bedding,
material, soft furnishings,
restaurant and teas.

Going down.

The words were written by David Croft who co-wrote Are You Being Served? with Jeremy Lloyd.

From this, we can assume that the only floors open to the customers are the Ground floor, First floor and Second floor. However, if you are right and they did say they were on the third floor, I can only assume the writers forgot the lyrics!!!

What about the bargain basement they talked about ?
Did they refer to it as the ground floor or was the bargain basement below the ground floor ? Is there a floor plan of each of the floors of Grace Brothers ?

I was under the impression that they're on the third floor too.

I am impressed with the contributions here but would just add that I would take all this with a pinch of salt as I did with the script as there so many inconsistencies over the years I could start a thread on the subject. One incident which springs to mind is when the Japanese tourist falls over six galvanised buckets and falls downstairs,to which Mr. Grainger answers:"He'll be in haberdashery by now..let them sort it out.."

I am impressed with the contributions here but would just add that I would take all this with a pinch of salt as I did with the script as there so many inconsistencies over the years I could start a thread on the subject. One incident which springs to mind is when the Japanese tourist falls over six galvanised buckets and falls downstairs,to which Mr. Grainger answers:"He'll be in haberdashery by now..let them sort it out.."


Absolutely correct. My OP (wow - eleven years ago) may have been before lyrics were so easily searchable.

Now, when we come back to this thread in 2026 (another eleven years), it will be interesting to see what other connections have been made. :eek:

I am impressed with the contributions here but would just add that I would take all this with a pinch of salt as I did with the script as there so many inconsistencies over the years I could start a thread on the subject. One incident which springs to mind is when the Japanese tourist falls over six galvanised buckets and falls downstairs,to which Mr. Grainger answers:"He'll be in haberdashery by now..let them sort it out.."


Sorry, but the sample that you have provided ties in exactly with the words that are spoken at the end of the programme ie they are on the first floor, the Japanese gentleman falls downstairs to haberdashery which is on the ground floor, which is on the floor below where they are, which is perfectly correct!