Fan Fiction

Gimme a Break in Matt's All Folks!

  Joey & Matt were coming home from school as they entered the
apartment complex.  They found Maggie O'Brien in the hallway.
     "Boys!" she said, "Nell & Addy are gone.  Why don't you stay @ my
apartment.  The Flintstones are on!"
     Maggie & the boys saw the episode about the mixed up parties. 
They laughed whenever the dancing girls were on!
     "I always have a thing about Betty Rubble!" said Maggie as she
giggled like her.  Then a phone call came & when she got through, she
     "Boys, we're going out to eat."
     "But today's my birthday." whined Matt, "I'm 7!"
     "Chill Matt!" said Joey.
     Maggie & the boys took the subway over to 87th St.  When they
reached the corner of N. 87th & W. 10th, they found an Italian
restaurant where Nell & Addy were waiting.  Matt got a surprise from
the gang!  Then Joey covered Matt's eyes for a cool surprise.  Matt
heard electric guitar music played & Joey took his hands away from his
     "Larry Rossolini!" exclaimed Matt, "I saw him on that game show,
Talent Deal!  He won a motorcycle!"
     Joey thought it was weird that Larry looked like a grown up Joey
Donovan, only having a 5:00 shadow beard.
     Matt was excited when the gang sang Happy Birthday as a couple of
pizzas & a birthday cake came.  Then he opened presents getting
birthday cards, toys, clothes, money & some songbooks to play on his
baby electric guitar.  As they were eating pizza, Larry played a rock
beat & sang,
     "I had a girl, so cool & bright.
      Deep in the heart of The Lone Star State.
      I drove my motorcycle from Laredo.
      Went to Beeville, where my heart got stung.
      Met her in Houston & I though she's fine,
      As I traveled, U.S. Highway 59!
      U.S. Highway 59!"
     "Boo!" said Larry's mother, Lainie, "Mixing a love song & an
educational geography song stinks!  Quit torturing the birthday boy &
deliver these pizzas!"
     As Larry left with the pizzas, a pretty girl walked in the
restaurant as Larry exclaimed,
     "I hate to grow up like him!" said Joey.
     A few weeks later @ the apartment, Matt was watching his game
show, Talent Deal.  He saw a contestant dressed as Curly, dancing &
doing "The Curly Shuffle".  Host Larry J. Hall (yes, I always thought
of myself as a game show host) asked the audience,
     "Yay or nay?"
     The audience applauded.
     "OK Curly, you get to choose between Curtain #1, #2 or #3.  Which
one will it be?"
     The audience shouted numbers as Curly decided on Curtain #3!
     "As in the Stooges?"
     "Show our intelligent imbecile what he's won behind Curtain #3!"
     Harp music was heard as the curtain opened to reveal a picture of
a cruise ship!
     "You're going on a 4 day-3 night cruise from Tampa, Florida to
Galveston, Texas aboard the SS Rosita!  Dining, dancing, activities
galore, even a Bingo Tournament which offers big money!  Including the
top prize, which will be your spending money of..."
     The $10,000 sign came down flashing, along with the clanging
bells & the Whoop-Whoop-WHOOP!  Curly jumped up & down, then rolled on

the floor & screamed,
     "Woo woo woo woo woo!  Moe, Larry, The Cheese!  Moe, Larry, The
     Even the audience screamed,
     "Moe, Larry, The Cheese!"
     "If you don't stop combining The Price Is Right with The 3
Stooges, I'll slug you & end this fanfic!" threatened Nell, pounding
me in the stomach & conking me on the head!  On with the fanfic.
     Before the commercial came on, an announcement was made.
     "Talent Deal's looking for talented kids for Jr. Talent Deal.  If
you want tickets & want to become a contestant, dial (212) 426-2426. 
That's (212) I AM A HAM!"
     As Matt was dialing the number, Nell tried to discourage him,
     "Matt, there's about 2,000,000 kids in New York City.  You don't
stand a chance @..."
     "Hello, Jr. Talent Deal.  I'm Matt Donovan!  I play guitar &
sing."  then he gave out his mailing address & other information.
     Every day after school, Matt would practice on his baby electric
guitar doing various songs.
     "Matt!" yelled Joey, "I'm trying to do my homework!  Get the
headphones & plug them to the amp.  And sing silently!"
     Even Nell had Matt do a song every night before getting his dinner.
     "Why are you pushing him hard?" asked Addy.
     "You never heard of Little Tommy Tucker, singing for his supper."
quipped Nell.
     The day finally came when Nell took Matt to Channel 47, Studio B
for Jr. Talent Deal.
     "Aunt Nell, I'm nervous." said Matt, "I got moths in my chest."
     "You mean butterflies in your stomach!" corrected Nell, "You'll
do fine."
     We join the show already in progress as a ballerina's dancing to
classical music.  Howver, she fell down quite a bit in the act!  Host
Larry J. Hall asked the audience,
     "What do you think, yay or nay?"
     Small claps came & that meant one thing, a horse saying "Nay!"
     "I'm so sorry, little ballerina.  But you do get a consolation
prize of $25.  Thank you for being on Jr. Talent Deal!"
     As she left, I turned to the announcer & asked,
     "Who's our next contestant?"
     "Matthew Donovan!"
     Nell hugged Matt for luck & went on the stage with his baby
electric guitar.
     "How old are you Matt?"
     "How long have you played guitar?"
     "A year.  My brother Joey & I play music.  He plays piano."
     "Why isn't he here?"
     "He won a school talent show playing piano & singing.  Now it's
my turn."
     "What are you gonna sing?"
     "Johnny B. Goode!"
     "Not again!" groaned Nell.
     "Let's plug that guitar up & hear Matthew Donovan rock!" I said
as stage hands plugged his guitar.  Matt played his baby electric
guitar & sang his heart out.  When he finished, the audience applauded
as I came out asking,
     "What do you think of that act?  Yay or nay?"
     The audience applauded.
     "OK Matt, you get a chance to choose from Curtain #1, #2 or #3. 
Which will it be?"
     The audience shouted numbers as Matt said,
     "2 for Joey & me!"
     "Show our pint sized rock star what's behind Curtain #2!"
     Harp music was heard as the curtain opened.  Then he saw a
stuffed Momma Duck & Baby Duck!  A funny little duck call was heard,

followed by wah wah wah wah!  Matt got zonked!
     "Hold on Matt!" I said, "Under Momma Duck's nest are 4 plastic
eggs.  One has a $5 bill, a $50 bill, $500 & a piece of paper that
says ZONK!  Which egg would you like?  Red, orange, green or blue?"
     Matt chose the green egg & inside the green egg was $50.
     "The blue egg had $500, the red $5 & the orange was the Zonk! 
Matt wins 2 stuffed ducks & $50.  Thanks for being on Jr. Talent Deal!"
     When they came home, all their friends greeted them.
     "How did it go?" asked Maggie, "Did you win a trip to Disney
     "Maybe he won a bicycle!" said Addy.
     "Maybe Matt got Zonked!" quipped Joey as Matt ran to his bedroom
     "That was dumb, Joey!" yelled Nell.
     In his bedroom, he threw away his songbooks in the waistbasket
along with his baby electric guitar.  Then he cried in his bed holding
the baby duck.
     30 minutes later, Nell was trying to get Matt out of his bedroom,
but no luck.
     "I'm hungry." said Joey, "I'm calling for a pizza."
     "Don't you dare!" snapped Nell as he put down the receiver, "Your
brother's crying & your self centered mind's hungry!"
     Addy gave him back the receiver & said, 
     "Call, Joey!" Nell gave her a dirty look & she reasoned, "I think
Joey has an idea to cheer up Matt."
     Joey called that same Italian restaurant.  He spoke to Larry
ordering a large pizza & asked to bring his guitar to cheer Matt up.
     Just as Matt was about to go to bed, he heard guitar music.  He
got out of his bedroom & saw his hero, Larry Rossolini, playing in the
living room.
     "Heard you got zonked!" said Larry, "My mother wanted me to
choose Curtain #1 instead of #3.  Then I would've won a trip to
Hawaii, instead of a motorcycle."
     "I'll never play again.", said Matt.
     "Don't give up your music." said Larry, "You practice well, I'll
let you play with me during the summer.  We'll split the tips & be a
     "Cool!" smiled Matt as he turned to the readers & said, "M-M-M-M
Matt's All Folks!"