Passepartout and the White House Press Corps

[EricIdlefan]

The White House Press Corps were busy hammering away at White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan and also they were having a food fight while one of the correspondents of Reuters Steve Holland was playing the organ and another one, CBS radio analyst Mark Knoller was reading the narration and everybody in the press were acting rude like children.

The impeccably mannered and very polite Greg McClugston of Salem Radio Network a Christian Network was trying to get both Mark and Steve to stop the fighting but Scott, who at first opposed the fight, thought "if he can't beat them, join them!!"

Then everybody was throwing popcorn, cokes, other food and debris, and Mark, the money-hungry correspondent was charging $10 a pop and was getting wealthier and Scott had to go to a briefing in the Oval Office but promised to come back as he had a dozen pies in the face laughing. Then all hell broke loose as some big steps cames stomping.

It was an angry and mean-faced Jean Passepartout, the usually quiet and very loyal French servant to the press corps. As some of the reporters were saying
"Hey!! Passepartout!! Move out of the way!! You are in the way!!" "Butt out Passe!!" "Don't you think you ought to move Passepartout!!"
Mark, who is known for making smart-aleck remarks said snidingly
"Well, well, well!! If it isn't our French man friend here for the movie!! Get us some more drinks and popcorn and cook us a lovely meal!!"

Then all of a sudden, there were PUNCH! KICK! PUNCH! DRINKS SPILLING! PIES THROWING! PUNCH AFTER PUNCH! KICK AFTER KICK! THE ONCE SMALL BUT TIDY AND NEAT PRESS CORPS BRIEFING ROOM WAS NOW A TORNADO TURNED PIG STY!!

"I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE WITHOUT YOU FIFTHY PERVERTS AND PERVETTES NOW!!! Snapped the Frenchman!!
"Listen here Mr French boy!! We have a right to be here and you can't tell us what to do!!" yelled Associated Press reporter Terrence Hunt
"Yeah!! You are not our boss so move it!!" yelled New York Times reporter Elisabeth Bumilier
"WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO MOI!!???" SNAPPED PASSE!!
"MOVE AWAY??" yelled USA Radio Correspondent Connie Lawn

"WELL, LET ME TELL YOU CREEPS SOMETHING!!??" Yelled Passe!!
"O.K.?? Well.....???" shrinked back Times reporter Jon Dickerson
"WHY DON'T YOU ALL FIND A SLAVE OR SHEPERD BOY AND/OR GIRL DO YOU #%(*%@ WORK OR BETTER YET!! STOP HAVING YOUR FRENCH BOY SERVANT DO ALL YOUR DIRTY WORK AND DO IT YOURSELF YOU !!@#$$$#@@!!@#@$#$#%$!!" Yelled Passepartout

All of the Press Corps, once looking nice and clean in their suits were bruised, bloodied, beaten, and had their clothes all torn up and their faces and hair messed up as well and pies and drinks thrown on their faces and clothes, all 100 of them!!
"All right, um please don't hurt us!! We better get going before he sends us to our graves!!" screeched a very scared ABC News Terry Moran
"You read my mind!!" added NBC's Norah O' Donnell
"You took my money and with the money all the correspondents!!" yelled Mark
"WELL, FIND SOME MORE!!!" snapped back Passe!!

All of the reporters one-by-one walked quickly away before Passepartout really, really, would have a huge fit and a huge field day with the reporters.
"Something is unusually wrong with the Passepartout!!" said a concerned Bill Plante, CBS #2 at the White House
"Well, there went my money all because of him!!" snided Mark
"Stop talking about money and try to get Passepartout out of his mood!!" said a very also concerned ABC Ann Compton who has covered six Presidents and knew the Passepartout since he was a tiny boy

They stood there in disbelief as he went to cubby hole to cubby hole and ruined and wrecked and messed up all 100 White House Press Corps members!!
"Look our offices!!" screamed Peter Baker of the Washington Post.
"Our pictures and computers!!" cried another Post reporter James VanderHei.
"Please Passe!! Stop it!!" cried Les Kinsolving the comic relief of the Press Corps.
Pleaded all of the press corps members!!

[EricIdlefan]

Then near the White House Press Corps playground, both Bill & Ann were really concerned about their Frenchman Friend.

"You Better Snap Out of your mood Passe!!" yelled Mark
"Well, don't be so mean since he took all of your money and with the cash, our customers at the press corps!!" snided Ann
"Come on let's try to cheer him up!!" added Bill
"JUST SHUT UP YOU JERKS!!" yelled the Passepartout
"You Shut up you bad-moon arrogant Frenchman!!" replied Terrence

Then Randy Mikkelson of Reuters said "Please get out of your mood Passe!! You are causing way too much disharmony!!"
Then, Passe jerked away from looking at the Press Corps and looked to where he wanted to be left alone.
"We got to do something about Passe!!" concerned Norah
"But how if he won't snap out of his mood!!" added ABC Washington Correspondent John Cochran
Then, a correspondent from ABC News, John Donvan came over and tried to talk the Frenchman out of his bad mood.


"You know Jean, when I get mad, I want a hug and somebody to talk too!! I am here for you no matter what!!" Donvan trying to hug him and get him out of his mood but Passe pushed him away.
"TOUCH ME AGAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU A FATLIP!!" snapped Passe!!
'Nice going Mr Angst and Mr Sensitive" retorted NBC White House Correspondent David Gregory
"He has to get out of his mood!!" FOX News Senior White House Correspondent Jim Angle said with a concern & worry for the Frenchman.

"What does Passe like??" said Mark Smith of AP Radio
"Your guess is just as good as mine!!" replied Dana Milbank of the Washington Post with all of the 100 members of the Press Corps looking on!!
"Come on!! Let's go to Passe's apartment and see the things that cheer him up!!" added Fox's Wendell Goler
"OK, but it is a risk here guys!!" said ABC's Kate Snow
"Well, it is a risk worth taking!! Either that or he will be Mr Grumpy and make our lives a living you know what!!" concerned CNN's Suzanne Malveaux.

[EricIdlefan]

Then Bill, Suzanne, Mark, Ann, David Sanger of the NY Times, Ken Hutchinson aka "Hutch" to W Bush, & Newsweek's Kenneth T Welsh were at Passepartout's apartment and trying to get things that were Passe's favorites.

"Here this should cheer up the Passe!!" said Hutch seeing that Passe is a martial arts expert and has high ranking black belts in over thirty-five martial arts and thousands of books with the martial arts.

Then Bill said: "Here let's get him the Newlywed Game tapes since he is a Chuck Barris nut!!"

"How many tapes does he have, he seems to have over 1,000 tapes!!" said David

"He has always been a game show buff and has over 20,000 episodes. Not only the Barris tapes but the Mark Goodson/Bill Todman Library!!" added Kenneth.

"Well, he also has books on politics and has been since a tiny boy have over 1,000 books on politics, gourmet cooking, Christian living, and has had over thousands and thousands of papers, diaries, journals, & everything!! I have known him since he was a tiny boy since the 1976 elections and he lives from May to September in his native France and over two months in England!!" said Ann


"Well, he comes from a huge and very political family and had brothers and sisters of different races.

Eight brothers and twelve sisters. Three Vietnamese, Two Japanese, Four Pueblo Indians, Two Mexican, One Cherokee, One Venezela, One Peruvian, Two African-American, One Palestine, One Arab, One born in a wheelchair paralyzed from the waist down, One born without hands, and Passepartout, who stutters and has had over in his nearly thirty years on the earth, in-between fifteen to twenty-five operations on his heart, kidneys, brain, lungs, liver, legs and arms, and came to the family after living in France and in three orphanages, sixteen foster homes though he was a great kid and still is but one time was unable to speak." said Bill

"He is a jack of all trades when he came to live with the family even though he doesn't know his biological parents when they died in a hunting accident when he was four months old and they sacrficed him.

He was a in-between elections all over the world, traveled to all fifty states and almost eighty countries and was well-educated in history, english, social studies, science, building stuff and chemistry, gymanastics, singing, playing guitar and piano and drums, math, algebra. He used to come and help us on the elections.

He was also a circus rider, an aecrobac, horse rider, trapeze artist, a fireman and policeman, helped in several investigations worldwide despite the always arrogant feds taking the credit and glory but he does that so that he loves behind the scenes work, a professor of gymnastics and a valet.

He served in over twelve houses in Great Britian, Ireland, Scotland, Austrailia, France but has been in DC on and off since 1989 but visits his family. He has degrees in both Harvard, Yale, MIT, in chemistry, biology, mathematics, criminal justice, and two MBA's and a law degree. He is smart and he had to overcome a lot!! He is excellent with kids!!" said Suzanne.

"Hence the nickname!! To pass-through and go from one place to another!! He has never married nor dated and is always on the run and hates to be bored. He also speaks fifteen languages and also has over thirty black belts with five red belts in martial arts!! He can't seem to sit his butt down and he owes me money!!" snided Mark.

"Will you stop talking about the money and worry about Passe!! He needs us no matter how much he won't admit it!!" said Suzanne as the gang left his apartment!!

[EricIdlefan]

Then, as the White House gang got to the park where Passepartout was sulking out and he was really po!! Then as the gang got the stuff that the Passe liked, somebody was throwing a ball at Passepartout!!

It was Wayne Washington of the Wall Street Times and southpaw Bill Sammon of the Washington Times!!
"Come on Bill, throw it right here to me!!" yelled Wayne
"What you want is what you get Wayne!!" tossed back Bill


"Hey throw it right here guys!! Let me in on the fun!!" acted Mark like a little boy tossing the baseball with Bill and Dana.
"Guys!! How can you three be so cold and so mean to Passepartout!!??" yelled Wendell Goler of Fox News Channel.

"Oh, Don't be so sensitive Wendy!! I guess I will get in the act as well!!" yelled Hutch getting in on the act as well.
Then as the men were throwing the baseball at Passe, the frenchman's anger grew much more worse as he grabbed Mark like a bat and then as the four other men were laughing, he hit all four of them out of the "ballpark" like a baseball.
"Well, that will teach you all a lesson if you ever want to punch the Passepartout!!!" warned Anne McFeatters of Scripps News Service.

[EricIdlefan]

Then when all of the correspondents came to him, he just shrugged them off pretending that they weren't there. But one by one, the press corps members came up to him with stuff that he loves and dear to his heart.

"Here you go Bill??" said Dana Bash handling Bill Plante a martial arts book.
"Wish me luck guys and here goes nothing!!" said Bill nervously.

Then as Bill was giving Passe a martial arts magazine, he shoved it down Bill's throat and Bill then with the magazine stuck in his windpipes, preceded to have Debroah Orin of the New York Observer do the same thing and bring him some cookbooks.

"Here are some cookbooks yum! yum!" said a polite and friendly on the outside but furious and angry on the inside Debroah. Then Passepartout throw the books through her head.

Everybody was laughing and then one by one they were doing their best to get the Passepartout out of his moodswings with books, Diet Dr Pepper(his favorite beverage), Snickers candy bars, but all of the nearly twenty people that tried, founds themselves with their hair messing up and their clothes all tore to shreds.

"Where we done all that we could!! But what do we do now since he is getting more grumpier!!?" said Bennett Roth of the Houston Chronicle.
"I got an idea!!" said Ken Bazinet of the New York Post
Then everybody looked at Mark Knoller and Mark was like going "No!! Oh no!!"
"Oh yes Mark!! You need to owe it to Passe!!" responded back CBS Radio Peter Maer

[EricIdlefan]

"Bah! Bah! Bah!! Quack! Quack! Quack!" Mark in a duck costume while the press corps are laughing hysterically!!
"One more laugh and I will jam this outfit down somebody's throat!!" warned Mark

Then the reporters stopped laughing but laughed privately.
Mark was furious both on the inside and outside and the Passe grabbed the costume with Mark and threw him to the ground.
"Well, what else is new??!!" said Don Goyea of NPR Radio
All the reporters were thinking hard

"here Kukla!! Want something to eat!! This is delicious!!"
"Yeah I bet it is delicious!!" said a fuming Bob Kemper of the Chicago Tribune as Ollie the one-tooth dragon putting on a puppet show!!
"THAT'S IT I HATE PUPPET SHOWS!! I CAN'T DO ANYMORE PUPPET SHOWS IS HE IS STILL IN HIS BAD MOOD!!" YELLED KUKLA PUPPET PLAYER KEN FIREMAN OF NEWSDAY.

Then the Passepartout grabbed both of the two puppet actors and where there is smoke there is fire while trying to cheer him up with a puppet show.
Both of them were burned.
Nice puppet show!! Can we comeback for seconds??" snided Edwin Chen.

Then Passepartout grabbed a bat and started hitting people and martial arts expert also turned the park into a tornado and threw stuff and hit CBS Chief White House Correspondent John Roberts in the stomach!!

"Gosh, the Passepartout has emotional problems!!" cried John holiding his stomach
"First the Briefing room, then our cubby holes of offices, and now the park!!!" yelled the Dean of the White House Press Corps Helen Thomas.

[EricIdlefan]

Then as the Passepartout was tearing up the park like a hurricaine and/or a tornado hit the streets the press corps were grabbing their ankles and knees and hoping and praying Passe would stop!!

Then Passe then hit all the trees with his lightning rod powers and everybody was afraid to get fried(or better yet, juiced!!):lol: :happyface

Then in a furor he grabbed ABC News John Cochran's favorite Alabama books!!
"Now you have gone too far Passe!! Sorry to hate to hurt you but...."
"Oh, this should be great!!" smart-mouthed Terry Moran

Then as John Cochran grabbed the Passe's black boot, his shoe came off and with it, a stone.
Then, all of the sudden, Passepartout went from being angry to smiling and laughing!!
"The Passepartout is now a happy boy!!" yelled the beaming Frenchman
"See, he can be resourceful but wierd at times!! Never a dule moment with the Passe!!" exclaimed USA Today's Mimi Hall
:lol: :lol:

"That's it!! A pebble in the Passepartout's boot is what made him mad!!" exclaimed NY Times David Sanger
"Riduculous!!" cried back Reuters Larry McQuillian
"Hey the Passe is back!!" came up happy go lucky Passepartout hugging and squeezing both Bill and Mark
"Hey Passe!! Lay off!! Ok, you are happy but don't squeeze us to death!!" yelled Bill almost out of breath!!