Full House: "

[Somebody252]

Takes place end of season 6 after Disneyword, and is a response to the fanfiction challenge posted on the board talking about D.J. as background mom. Don't know if it would ever get this bad, I doubt it, but she might have given a fwap as a reaction, I don't know. A Nyway...

Jesse Katsolpolis and his wife, Becky Donaldson, walked in the door to their home - the Tanner household - and embraced once more, jsut as they'd been doing for a while. "Have mercy," Jesse said softly as they kissed.

"Jess, I'm so glad we decided to let Danny and the others take the boys home and stay another couple days in Florida," Becky said. "That was so romantic."

Danny was Danny Tanner, Jesse's brother in law. Jesse had moved in to help raise his three girls when their mother, Pam, died in an accident. He'd then married Becky a few years later. Joey Gladstone, a professional comedian and Danny's best friend, had also moved in back then, and still lived there. Only now, he lived on the second floor, inthe room Jesse used to use till his marriage.

"Yeah. I wonder how the boys are...Hey, boys," Jesse said as their twins, Nicky and Alex, both 19 months old, came runing to them. Give your daddy and mommy a big hug." They took burns embracing the boys.

"How were they?" Becky asked Stephanie, Danny's middle girl.

The eleven-year-old said they were fine. "We have some...problems that need dealt with though."

"Why, what's wrong? They didn't get in my hair care supplies, did they?" Jesse was crazy about keeping his hair perfect.

"No, Uncle Jesse, it's with Michelle," Stephanie said, frustrated.

The twins picked up on the tone and started repeating, "Bad ‘Chelle."

"What did she do?"

"Well...let's just say that according to D.J., she is just like you."

Jesse smiled proudly for a moment and turned to Becky. "Did you hear that? She says Michelle's just like..." The realization suddenly hit him, and he turned back to Stephanie. "Wait a minute, why are the boys saying ‘bad Michelle?'"

"Jess, you have to admit you are still a little lax when it comes to discipline."

"What do you mean? When I tell the girls to do something I expect it to be done. And...then if they don't I tell Danny."

Stephanie wouldn't let Becky answer. "And he's pretty lax too, soemtimes. Remember when Michelle ran wild int hat museum and wrecked a dinosaur? Dad totally blamed you, and it fell to me, as a Principal's Aide, to do anything. That week without recess kept there fromb eing problems at school. But at home here, she tried to get by with a little more, until Disneyworld lat week."

"Yeah, didn't Danny say anything about her wandering away."

"Well, he did; but she didn't even lose dessert that night. He didn't want to spoil her day as princess. And, he said nothing about her bossy attitude." Stephanie sighed. "She's been sneakier and sneakier, even without that. Now...well, here comes D.J.," Stephanie said as D.J. descended the staircase. "Tell Uncle Jesse what's been going on, Deej," she said to her sixteen-year-old sister.

D.J. beckoned Jesse out to the kitchen. "We need to talk - in private - about this."

Jesse was puzzled. What had the six-and-a-half year old done, anyway? Okay, she was a little wilder, but she was still a good kid.

"Deej, what is it?" Jesse asked as they stood in the kitchen.

"Uncle Jesse, do you remember me telling you how I'd trick Michelle into having to do my chores? Or how she'd dare me to do stuff, and the loser would do the other's chores?"

Jesse smiled sadly and laughed. "Yeah. Your mom used to do that to me, too. I was quite a rebel as a kid. But, I always listened to her when she did that. And, she always saved thsoe chores when I was being a really ornery kid."

"And, I do too; I always save those chores for when she's been naughty and Dad does nothing. Like when she snuck out to see him once at night. Except, Michelle was bad enough the last few months that I used them up; all of them."

"Well, then, your dad needs to lay down the law."

"He's been too busy the last couple days doing stuff with Vicki, since she said yes to his marriage proposal, and doing stuff for the show." Danny and Becky hoted a TV show called "Wake Up, San Francisco. "Besides, Dad hates making his ‘little princess' sad."

Jesse thought he sensed a little bitterness in her voice. So, he lovingly placed a hand on D.J.'s shoulder. "Deej, your dad's pretty good about disciplining her. It's just that sometimes, he thinks of your mom, and how he wishes she were around helping him. Or, he just feels uncomfortable because Michelle doesn't have a mom. He's pretty good, though, all things considered."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't have to worry about Michelle not having a mom. I've disciplined her before, and I'm willing to now."

"You're always such a big help, Deej."

"Well, I'm going to have to do more than just lecture and take away some privileges this time."

Jesse stepped back slightly. "What do you mean?'

"Uncle Jesse, Michelle's had that attitude off and on for years. Saying ‘duh' even when being corrected, trying to get around rules any way she could, sneaking dessert when she knew she shoudn't have any."

"Come on, Deej, that's just bein' a kid."

"Usually it gets better fast, though, because someone corrects it. And, she's pushing every limit now. She's acting bossy again, she's been trying to get out of stuff by blaming you, saying that worked before and it should work again. And, Dad doesn't know what to do, except let me handle things."

"Well, that's good. You gonna be with her at camp?"

"She's spending three whole weeks there; we both think she's ready, and she's anxious to go."

"Well, that's great, Deej. So, what has you so upset?"

D.J. sighed. "Uncle Jesse, last night, she wouldn't get ready for bed when I told her. Joey was performing comedy somewhere, and she used the excuse that she thought Dad was in charge. Then she said ‘Chill out, don't have a cow' when I caught her sneaking dessert when I'd taken it away from her."

"Heh, that's cute, she's just like me when I was that age." Jesse suddenly realized what he should be saying. "But it's very wrong, very wrong."

"I pretty much grounded her for the next few days; she has no privileges at all today." D.J. licked her lips. "You know when you basically told her to pinch back when some kid pinched her in preschool?" Jesse nodded. "She listened to you then when you told her you'd said something really dumb. I hope she listens to you now. Becuase if she comes out of her room before she's told this time, or she disobeys or something like that once today, even when you guys are here..." After a deep breath, D.J. spoke with a small cry in her voice. "Let's just say we'll probably be crying in each other's arms for a few minutes after I do what I told her I'd have to do."

"Deej., you...your mom never had to do that. Your mom and daad have never even thought about that."

"That's because they never had to deal with a girl who has become just like you. It wouldn't hurt bad for more than a minute, maybe more like half a minute, though she probably wouldn't think about that being a small amount. But, nobody else seems interested in making her listen. Uncle Jesse, she's a very good girl most of the time. But, someone needs to get through to her heart, and break that desire to misbehave. And I've tried everything else to lay down the law; she may just need me to use my hand to lay it down on her bottom so it's red and sore for a minute or so." Jesse hugged D.J. as she began to sob a little. She overreacted to things sometimes, and now he saw why. She worried about Michelle quite a bit.

Jesse sighed. He knew D.J. was right - they did let Michelle get away with a lot. And, while things would have been wonderful, and they would never need to have this talk, if D.J. had taken charge fromt he start, the important fact was that she only reacted when things got bad.

Normally, that had meant just putting Michelle in her room or lecturing. But, even D.J., with her love itnerest and other things, had let too many things slip.

"Sure, Deej, I'll talk to her. Where is she now?"

"In her room, crying over my threat and how naughty she's been. Hopefully, that and the little pats I gave will be enough."

"So that's why the boys were sayin' ‘bad Michelle,' huh?"

"That's right. Hearing that echo in her mind might be working on her, too. Let's hope it is. I don't want to have to do it - she knows that. But...maybe when I let her out of timeout, finally, you can go in and say something to her."

"Yeah. Yeah, sure, Deej."

Jesse walked dejectedly down to his recording studio. He was deflated. He picked up his guitar, and tried to play. He was sure what he would play, though. He decided to write instead. And, slowly, words came to him.. A familiar tune, but with changed words.

A child arrived just the other day
She came into the world in the usual way
but then a tragic death took her mom away
I pledged to help, and moved in to stay.
And she was talkin' ‘fore I knew it, and as she grew
she said "I'm gonna be like you, Jess, you know I'm gonna be like you."

And the munchkin's so cute sayin' "You got it, Dude."
Seems to like makin' Steph'nie say "How rude!"
When you're settlin' down, kid, I don't know
but I'm gonna help you get there.
We're gonna have a good time then.

We went on a trip just the other day
Around a dinosaur I let her wildly play
It tumbled to the ground her dad gave me the blame
We helped her shrug it off and say "that's okay."
She tried to get away with more stuff like she used to do
and said "I'm gonna be like you, Jess, you know I'm gonna be like you."

And the munchkin's so cute sayin' "You got it, Dude."
Seems to like makin' Steph'nie say "How rude!"
When you're settlin' down, kid, I don't know
but I'm gonna help you get there.
We're gonna have a good time then.

Down at Disneyworld as "Princess for a Day,"
We were kinda miffed when she wandered away.
Her attitude's real bad, we heard her sisters say
Her dad wouldn't even take dessert away.
So she started to ignore us, and act real cool
and said "I'm gonna be like you, Jess, you know I'm gonna be like you."

And the munchkin's so cute sayin' "You got it, Dude."
Seems to like makin' Steph'nie say "How rude!"
When you're settlin' down, kid, I don't know
but I'm gonna help you get there.
We're gonna have a good time then.

Well we came back home just the other day
she said "I'm in such big trouble with my sis D.J..
She says she's gonna start makin' sure that I mind
‘cause I'm gettin' away with stuff all of the time.
And if I don't start behavin' good like I know to do
I don't like to think ‘bout what she'll do, I just know it's gonna hurt her too."

And as we hugged in a chair it occurred to me
her role model always was me.
My niece was just like me.

Jesse smiled as he read the ditty. Michelle really was just like him. A wild kid who basically figured he was going to be that way, and that there was no reason to change. His dad's raucous yelling had caused part of that, of course. But, not as much as he liked to think.

He walked up to the second floor to see Danny, who was home from work. "Danny, did D.J. tell you...?"

"Yeah, she did. Jesse, I'm not going to blame you. It's all my fault, really. I got so broken up about Pam that I let things go too far. In a way, it's good D.J. threatened what she did; maybe it'll make us all wake up and realize we need to start being better role models. I guess we'll jsut rally around her for a while, that's what I told Michelle just now. I said I'll help by tellin' her, if she acts up, that I don't want to have to tell her sister. Although that sounds weird, it's the truth. And if things get too far till the end of camp, well, hopefully D.J. can straight her out without...without...oh, I hope she can be good, Jess. I know D.J.'ll be good to her, and it won't hurt that much. But, still, the thought of her hurting for even a minute or two...."

"Yeah. Hey, I know I've been the cause of some of this too, but...well, do you think I could go in there and talk to her, too?"

"Sure, Jess. She's pretty broken up about the threat now. I think she could really use some encouragement. It was hard for me ‘cause I've always been such a model citizen. While I always wanted to be a hall monitor, you were always in the principal's office." He patted him on the arm and said, "But, you also triumphed over that bad behavior. And, she can learn to do it now, before she has to face Principal D.J.."

"Thanks, Danny." Jesse walked into Michelle's room. "Hey, munckin," he said as he walked over to her and sat down on her bed. Michelle's face was wet from all her tears, and she remained leaning against the wall.

"Call me ‘bad munchkin.' Just like Nicky and Alex call me ‘bad Michelle.'"

Jesse took her and cuddled her on his lap. "Aw, it's okay. D.J. told me what she told you."

"It's not okay! I'm nothing but a bad girl!" She sniffled. "D.J.'s right. I deserve a sore bottom after the way I've acted." She buried her head in Jesse's chest, and began weeping again at the thought that D.J. would hurt her.

"Aw, shorty, I know how it feels. By the time I was in fourth grade, the principal had a ruler with my name on it, just for me. I got in so much trouble, they renamed the timeout chair the Jesse Katsopolis chair." He felt bad that Michelle wasn't even grinning at the joke. "Hey, look, pal, there's two kinds of kids in this world. Now, you got a choice; you can either be the kind who needs spanked or the kind that doesn't."

"So what? D.J. says I'm the kind who does. She already spanked me earlier today."

"Yeah, but you knoww what, those were really light pats, weren't they?"

"I know what it was, Uncle Jesse!"

"Okay, but listen, she did that as a warning, to help make sure she didn't have to really hurt your bottom. And you've got a choice now. You can decide that's gonna be it, that you won't have to actually have it hurt. That's a decision you can make, to start acting good."

"It is?" she asked more hopefully.

"Sure, you just gotta be real good, and do exactly what D.J. says, and what we say, especially today ‘cause you're on that probation from her, okay?"

She sniffled. "Okay. But, it's so hard. I like doing whatever I want, and getting away with stuff."

"I know, munchkin. I've made it hard for you, and I'm sorry. But, what you've got to do is make a statement. We gotta go down there, and say as polite as we can, ‘D.J., I've decided I'm not going to be the kind of girl who needs spanked.'"

"Is that all?"

"Well, then you have to believe it. And plan to be good. Prove to your big sister that you are not that kind of girl, and she'll start believing in you more and more. It's gonna take a while, ‘cause we let things get really bad. But, it's gonna work out in the long run. ‘Cause you know what? You are a wonderful, dedicated young lady. And when you put your mind to something, you do it. You put your mind to this, and you can become a good girl without havin' the memory of D.J. doing' that. And D.J. won't be scared she has to, either."

"Okay." They walked downstairs together, and Michelle said she was sorry. Then, in an even more timid voice, she said, "D.J.?"

"Yes, Michelle?" D.J. knelt down to her level and smiled.

"D.J., I'm going to prove to you I don't need spanked."

D.J. hugged her warmly and gratefully. "Oh, I sure hope you do, Michelle. I sure hope you do."

Jesse smiled. He may have messed up sometimes, but he always seemed to be able to make things turn out right int he end. And, true to her word, Michelle would improve. And, while D.J. had to be pretty tough over the next couple months while she did, D.J. never had to hurt Michelle like that, and never would.