Stormtracker TF
02-06-2004, 10:05 PM
Title: BEEF TV
Written By: TF, EFD.
Illustrated By: It isnt Illustrated Fool!
*TF and EFD are sitting in a 50's style Diner eating BEEFWiches while Oldies play on a Juke Box, and a TV in the Corner of the Restaurant shows The Weather Channel*
EFD: We should take over the Weather Channel for a Week, TF.
TF: Your Crazy EFD.
*Later on that day TF and EFD are wearing Black Suits with Ski Masks on Breaking into The Weather Channel Building in Atlanta, Georgia*
TF: Ok we do this queitly. You go around...
*EFD shoots bazooka to knock down door Jim Cantore and Paul Goodloe fall down on their chairs*
TF: Uhhh...Idiot....Hey all of you listen open we're taking over...Jim...EAT THIS APPLE
*EFD holds water gun at everybody*
Jim Cantore: Ok, OK! Anything!
*Jim puts an Apple in his mouth and TF kicks it in*
*Just then Paul Goodloe runs up behind TF and tries to tackle him*
EFD: NOT SO FAST! *Holds Water Gun to Paul*
Paul Goodloe: NO PLEASE, SPARE MY LIFE!
TF: Into the Janitors Closet...NOW
*TF ties all the Meteorologists up, then leads them into the closet and EFD locks the door*
Paul Goodloe: When i first came to The Weather Channel, never in my wildest dreams did i think i would be forced into the Janitors Closet at Watergunpoint by two young men.
Jim Cantore: *Jibberish*
Paul Goodloe: I agree.
EFD: HA HA HAAA Well now... *camera man runs off* Where do you think you're going?!
Camera Man: Uhhh...COFFEE FOR YOU GUYS SIR!
EFD: Oh how nice...
EFD and TF: I HATE COFFEE!
EFD: Mr. Quackmire, OUR JANITOR, will get it for us. Now start rolling.
TF: Hello fellow weatherites. You are watching BEEF TV, Im TF.
EFD: And I'm EFD. Here's TF with the National Forecast.
TF: Thank you EFD, we've got alot to talk about this Sunday Weather wise. In the west we have a large Storm system blasting parts of Colorado with Wind and Rain, and look out in Tennessee, most of the State is under a Tornado Watch, if severe weather approaches, stay indoors on the Lowest floor Possible until the storm has passed. Now stay tuned your Local on the 8s!
*SHAFT Theme plays as the Local Forecast is shown*
*Local on the 8s ends*
TF: Welcome back to BEEF TV. Here's EFD with the latest Weather Updates.
EFD: THIS JUST IN, A HOLY MASSACRE WARNING IS IN EFFECT FOR DEATH VALLEY...A SNOWFLAKE IS ABOUT TO LAND IN THE VICINITY.
TF: *Gasps* My God...
EFD: We have live coverage of this developing Disaster, and we now turn to John Johnson who is in Death Valley, in the projected landing spot of the Snowflake! John, what is going on?
John: As you can see EFD the Snowflake is falling at a very high rate of speed, its at 3000 feet and should be on the ground in the next few minutes, here we have a Live shot of the Flake falling.
*Everything goes silent, then Loud Roars are heard as a Picture of a Snowflake falling is shown*
Man: LOOK THAR! HERE IT COMES EVERYONE!
*The Snowflake hits the Ground and a Huge Nuclear Explosion occurs, a large mushroom cloud is seen from Miles Away*
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1494627
EFD: God Almighty... Did I just see what I think I saw?
*Another Camera angle is shown of a 2-inch mushroom cloud on top of a pile of sand*
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1494610
TF: You...sure...did. *TF gets tear in eye* It was...just...flat out cool.
EFD: Yes it was. It took my breath away...we send out our sympathies John Johnson's family......*Talks Happily* We'll be right back folks!
*No commercials are shown and room is shown while TF and EFD are away*
*Ten minutes later*
Camera Man: Uhhhh.... *2 minutes later camera man starts tip toeing out*
*EFD is heard from bathroom*
EFD: Don't you even think about it!
*Later on, Jack walks by the Weather Channel Studio, and through a Window sees a TV with The Weather Channel on, he stops and watches as an error with the Computer running the Background Weather Graphic occurs and States start disappearing from the US on the Map*
Jack: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! THEY'RE DESTROYING THE UNITED STATES! I MUST STOP THEM!
*Jack Grabs a latter, climbs onto it and falls multiple times before finally breaking and crawling into a small window near the top of the building, he jumps in and lands on the Supercomputer in the Contol Room, it starts making alarm noises and red lights start to flash, as smoke pours from the Machine, Jack just stares in complete confusion*
*At the Weather Desk, TF and EFD are both Ad-Libing on air when a massive explosion is heard and huge chunks of the roof cave in on them, they both sit still, staring at the Camera as plaster and wood chips lay on their heads and on the desk, until the multi-colored Off Air screen appears*
EFD: WHAT...THE.... HECK?
*Suddenly a wall Collapses and Reveals Jack sitting in the Control Room with his hair blown up like an Afro and his face covered in plaster dust and soot*
Jack: Uhhhh.... TF, EFD...What are you doing here? *Nervous*
*TF and EFD just give him a blank stare and brush the plaster dust off themselves, still staring in disbelief*
*Fires ignite in various places in the building and smoke fills the room, just as they go back on air. TF and EFD are dumbfounded*
EFD: And now for the Weather right here in Downtown Atlanta, Georgia...HOT and SMOKAY
TF: We'll be right back after this Short break.
*TF and EFD both Smile and wait for it to switch to a commercial break, 2 minutes later they're still Smiling as fires rage in the background*
*Later on, EFD is alone at the Weather Desk and is giving Travel Updates*
EFD: JUST IN FROM THE STORM ROOM...A RARE SNORNADOCANE IS OCCURING IN OKLAHOMA, HERES TF WITH THE LATEST...
*Camera shows TF holding on to a pole nearly being blown away, in a whiteout of Snow driving by Hurricane force winds. A Tornado spins in the Background*
TF: HI EFD...AS YOU CAN SEE IT IS A VERY FERCE STORM! THE WINDOMETOR IS CLOCKING THE WINDS SUSTAINED AT 135 MILES PER HOUR WITH MUCH HIGHER GUSTS! IT IS PURE DESTRUCTION OVER HERE...
*Suddenly a Cow floats by the Camera and Moos*
EFD: TF...Did i just see what i think i saw...Was that a Cow?
TF: YES IT WAS EFD, IF I WASNT HOLDING ON TO THIS POLE I WOULD BE SUCKED INTO THE LARGE VORTEX OF THIS SNORNADOCANE AS THAT COW JUST DID!
EFD: Amazing, just amazing. The Snowflakes look very large, how big are they TF?
TF: IVE ESTIMATED THEM AT ABOUT 20 INCHES ACROSS, THE SNOW IS ACCUMULATING AT ABOUT A FOOT A SECOND...
EFD: Quite Impressive. Stay save out there TF.
TF: I WILL... AHH NOOOOOOOO-
*TF flies off screen and the Camera goes blank, another camera angle shows TF standing in the Studio in a white room, with Jack pouring coconut shavings down from a wooden beam high above, a huge Fan is blowing towards TF and the Camera man*
EFD: OHHH! That didn't look good. Well, TF, I hope you have a parachute if you're blown too high! We'll check back on TF at the bottom of the hour, but now for your Local on the 8s. *Smiles*
*Commercial break*
*Two minutes later BEEF TV returns and EFD is sitting at the desk with TF in beach clothes with a tan*
EFD: Nice Hawaiian shirt, TF. And you look sharp with that Captain's hat.
TF: Thanks, EFD. Well Pittsburgh certainly is getting nice weather today.
EFD: I wish I was there right now. Been a long time since we got such nice, warm weather.
*Forest fire is shown in Pittsburgh and people are screaming and running around*
TF: Ahhh, it's nice to see people being active in this beautiful weather.
EFD: I agree, i agree. Well now its time to see how Weather affects your BEEF. Here's SOLOMON, live from San Francisco California with BEEFin USA. How's it goin' out there SOLOMON?
SOLOMON: Well it's a perfect day for a BarBEEFque party EFD, Warm, Sunny with just a slight breeze. Strong Thunderstorms and Rain were in the Forecast, but i guess it's a no show...
TF: Whats that cookin' over there SOLOMON?
SOLOMON: *Sees Grill Exploding* Oh thats BBQed Duck, its goes very well with our Main dish, BEEF. Plain. Grilled. BEEF.
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1494617
*Suddenly the sky turns black as Rain begins to come down fiercely, hail the size of Baseballs pelt the crowd of people at the BBQ Party, they all run and scream in horror as 100 MPH winds uproot trees and destroy houses as giant Tsunami's crash ashore*
TF: Well SOLOMON, it certainly looks like perfect weather for a BBQ! I wish i was there now, beautiful weather.
SOLOMON: *Barely able to Stand up from being battered by Hail, Wind, and Rain* Well as you can see, it appears a Small Rain Shower is upon us...Nothing serious though, if you can get out and enjoy this awesome weather please do! *SOLOMON is blown away by wind and lands in somebody's backyard kiddie Pool*
EFD: We'll get back to you in a moment, SOLOMON. But now here's TF with the Forecast for the Southwest!
TF: What weather changes, EFD! It's hard to keep up! Speaking about up, something crazy is happening in Arizona. Everybody's sinks in the whole state are having waterspouts! That's right! Everytime the water from the faucet hits the sink instead going down it forms a waterspout and reaches all the way to the top of the ceiling! It can't be shut off. The town is working as fast they can. While all you unfortunate Arizonian's are having this disaster BEEF TV will give you full coverage if your water is hot or cold since you have no control over anything with your sink! And to all you people who are watching this and grinning and laughing because you didn't put on the water this morning, don't be. Like I said, EVERYONE is getting a Faucetspout. Your house is flooded boy!
*Later that night TF and EFD are asleep in their Chairs at the Weatherdesk, the camera is still rolling, but the Camera man is nowhere to be found*
*Meanwhile, Jack is walking around The Weather Channel Studio, he stops and opens the Door to the Janitors Closet, walks in, and finds all the Meteorologists inside*
Jack: Who are you guys?
Warren Madden: YOUVE SAVED US!
*The Door shuts and locks*
Carl Parker: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jack: What?
Dave Schwartz: The Door just locked...We're stuck in here.
Jack: Ditto.
Paul Goodloe: Ditto?
Jack: I agree.
Paul Goodloe: Ok...
Jeff Morrow: Hey Kid, we need you to help us break out. Know how to pick locks?
Jack: Nope.
Jeff Morrow: Look on those Shelves over there, see if there's anything that could help us break out.
Jack: Okay!
*Jack reaches up to the Shelf and accidentally kicks Jim Cantore in the Stomach, the Apple pops out of Jims mouth, bounces off the Wall and hits Jack in the face, Jack falls into the Door and then onto the ground unconscious, the door creeks and opens a few inches*
Paul Goodloe: WE'RE SAVED!
Jeff Morrow: Yeah...But we have one small problem...
Paul Goodloe: What's that?
Jeff Morrow: WE'RE STILL TIED UP!
*Over at the Weather Desk, TF is awakened for a second but falls back asleep*
*Back in the Janitors Closet, Jack awakens*
Jim Cantore: Kid, come over here and untie us.
Jack: Nope.
Jim Cantore: Nope? NOPE? NOPE?! What's your name kid?
Jack: I dunno.
Jim Cantore: You don't KNOW?
Jack: Oh yeah, its Jack.
Jim Cantore: Ok Jack, why won't you untie us?
Jack: I dunno how to untie a knot.
Jim Cantore: Then go find a Knife.
Jack: Okay! *Yells* TF...EFD DO YOU KNOW WHERE THERE'S A...
Jim Cantore: SHUT UP YOU IMBACEL! If they know we're trying to escape they might kill us.
Jack: Oh Okay!
Jim Cantore: NOW GO...FIND...A KNIFE.
Jack: Okay!
*Jack starts to walk away*
Jim Cantore: And Jack...Be quiet about it.
Jack: Okay!
*2 hours later Jack comes back with a Knife*
Paul Goodloe: *Wakes up from Sleep* Jack? WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
Jack: I dunno.
Jim Cantore: Do you know anything?
Jack: Dunno.
Paul Goodloe: JUST GET THESE ROPES OFF OF US KID!
Jack: *Goes to cut them free* Wait...My Mom says i can never use a knife without her permission!
Jim Cantore: *Annoyed beyond comprehension* Your Mom...Told Paul you could use one.
Jack: Oh Okay! I didn't know she knew you Paul!
Paul Goodloe: Neither did i....
Jim Cantore: HURRY UP AND CUT THE ROPES YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!!!!
*Jack cuts everyone free*
*Later on, At 4AM, the Cameras are still Rolling, and the Meteorologists are getting ready to ambush EFD and TF, EFD and TF are at the Weather Desk still asleep and are Both Snoring*
Dave Schwartz: Ok my friends, we need to be quiet about this...Lets get rolling.
*The Weathermen surround the Desk, hiding behind nearby Objects, Dave Schwartz picks up a Bazooka, Aims it at the Desk and Fires it, the Missile blows the desk into million pieces and Knocks TF and EFD off of their seats, they fall to the Ground and the Weathermen run trying to Tackle them to the Ground, EFD grabs a Watergun and holds it to them, as this all occurs, a storm moves overhead and it begins to rain intensely with Quarter Sized Hail falling along with it, it all comes in through the massive hole in the roof causing significant damage*
EFD: HOLD IT...Hold it. Don't even breathe. Drop the Bazooka Schwartz!
*The Weathermen all get a look of fear on their faces as Dave Schwartz puts down his Bazooka*
Jim Cantore: Hey man, please...There doesn't have to be any killing...
EFD: Your not going to be killed if you do what we say.
*Just then Jeff Morrow Yells "NOOOOOOOOOO" and tries to knock the Watergun out of EFD's Hand, EFD's hand slips and it fires water at Dave Schwartz leaving a spot of water on his Chest, Dave screams in agony and falls to the Floor lifeless*
Jeff Morrow: DAVE! *He gets down near the ground and tries to Awaken Dave Schwartz* YOUVE KILLED HIM!
EFD: I didn't mean to....My hand slipped on the Gun!
TF: *Holds water gun to the Weathermen* Back in the Closet!
*Suddenly, on the Floor, Dave Schwartz reaches for TF and EFD's feet, he yanks on them causing TF and EFD to fall, the Waterguns slide across the floor, Jeff Morrow and Dave Schwartz grab the Waterguns*
Paul Goodloe: DAVE! YOU LIVE!
Dave Schwartz: *Holding Watergun to EFD and TF* My mother always taught me to never go to work without a Waterproof suit my friend.
Jim Cantore: Jeff, Call the Police.
TF: NOOOOOO Anything but the Police!
Dave Schwartz: Wait Jeff, i have a better idea.
Paul Goodloe: What's that?
Dave Schwartz: We don't have to Call the Police, they can work here as our PERSONAL BUTLERS with no pay until they would've made enough money to cover the damages that they caused...
TF: JACK DID THAT!
Dave Schwartz: Sure he did, sure he did.
Jim Cantore: You know what? That's not such a bad idea...
Dave Schwartz: So what is it guys? You have 10 seconds *Sets timer on watch*
TF and EFD: WE'LL BE YOUR BUTLERS!
Dave Schwartz: Ok then, you start Tomorrow. And don't try running from us, we have Videotaped Evidence you caused these Damages. Both of you Sign here...And it's a deal
*EFD and TF Sign the Contract*
EFD: So Dave...
Dave Schwartz: That's Mr. Schwartz to you.
EFD: So MISTER SCHWARTZ, approximately how long are we going to have to work for?
Dave Schwartz: Oh, I'd say every day for about 2 years.
EFD and TF: TWO YEARS? *Both get look of Horror on Faces*
Jim Cantore: And not a day less. But if you're both helpful we just might let you off in only a year...
EFD and TF: SIR YES SIR!
*Scene Cuts to a fat middle-aged man sitting on his couch watching BEEF TV, and just saw what went on in The Weather Channel Studio, since it was all broadcast live on TV *
Man: THIS IS BETTER THAN REALITY TV!
*At the Studio Jim Cantore smiles and looks over at Camera as it zooms to his face*
Jim Cantore: We'll be right back after your Local on the 8s!
*One week later, Jim Cantore and Dr. Steve Lyons are discussing Hurricane Enrique's track*
Jim Cantore: So Dr. Lyons, where does it look like this Hurricane will hit?
Dr. Lyons: Well Jim it looks like it'll hit somewhere near the Georgia/Florida Coast, Significant flooding and wind damage is likely in the path of this Hurricane, and there are Mandatory Evacuations taking place in many places in and near the projected path of Enrique.
Jim Cantore: And when does it look like it will hit?
Dr. Lyons: Well probably around 9AM Tuesday for the Coastal areas.
Jim Cantore: Ok, Thank you Dr. Lyons, our Hurricane Expert Dr. Steve Lyons will be with us here throughout the night giving you complete coverage of the approaching storm.
*TF walks up and brings Jim a glass of Lemonade with a small umbrella in it*
Jim Cantore: *Raises Glass* We'll be right back after your Local on the 8s! *Takes a Sip of his Lemonade*
THE END
Written By: TF, EFD.
Illustrated By: It isnt Illustrated Fool!
*TF and EFD are sitting in a 50's style Diner eating BEEFWiches while Oldies play on a Juke Box, and a TV in the Corner of the Restaurant shows The Weather Channel*
EFD: We should take over the Weather Channel for a Week, TF.
TF: Your Crazy EFD.
*Later on that day TF and EFD are wearing Black Suits with Ski Masks on Breaking into The Weather Channel Building in Atlanta, Georgia*
TF: Ok we do this queitly. You go around...
*EFD shoots bazooka to knock down door Jim Cantore and Paul Goodloe fall down on their chairs*
TF: Uhhh...Idiot....Hey all of you listen open we're taking over...Jim...EAT THIS APPLE
*EFD holds water gun at everybody*
Jim Cantore: Ok, OK! Anything!
*Jim puts an Apple in his mouth and TF kicks it in*
*Just then Paul Goodloe runs up behind TF and tries to tackle him*
EFD: NOT SO FAST! *Holds Water Gun to Paul*
Paul Goodloe: NO PLEASE, SPARE MY LIFE!
TF: Into the Janitors Closet...NOW
*TF ties all the Meteorologists up, then leads them into the closet and EFD locks the door*
Paul Goodloe: When i first came to The Weather Channel, never in my wildest dreams did i think i would be forced into the Janitors Closet at Watergunpoint by two young men.
Jim Cantore: *Jibberish*
Paul Goodloe: I agree.
EFD: HA HA HAAA Well now... *camera man runs off* Where do you think you're going?!
Camera Man: Uhhh...COFFEE FOR YOU GUYS SIR!
EFD: Oh how nice...
EFD and TF: I HATE COFFEE!
EFD: Mr. Quackmire, OUR JANITOR, will get it for us. Now start rolling.
TF: Hello fellow weatherites. You are watching BEEF TV, Im TF.
EFD: And I'm EFD. Here's TF with the National Forecast.
TF: Thank you EFD, we've got alot to talk about this Sunday Weather wise. In the west we have a large Storm system blasting parts of Colorado with Wind and Rain, and look out in Tennessee, most of the State is under a Tornado Watch, if severe weather approaches, stay indoors on the Lowest floor Possible until the storm has passed. Now stay tuned your Local on the 8s!
*SHAFT Theme plays as the Local Forecast is shown*
*Local on the 8s ends*
TF: Welcome back to BEEF TV. Here's EFD with the latest Weather Updates.
EFD: THIS JUST IN, A HOLY MASSACRE WARNING IS IN EFFECT FOR DEATH VALLEY...A SNOWFLAKE IS ABOUT TO LAND IN THE VICINITY.
TF: *Gasps* My God...
EFD: We have live coverage of this developing Disaster, and we now turn to John Johnson who is in Death Valley, in the projected landing spot of the Snowflake! John, what is going on?
John: As you can see EFD the Snowflake is falling at a very high rate of speed, its at 3000 feet and should be on the ground in the next few minutes, here we have a Live shot of the Flake falling.
*Everything goes silent, then Loud Roars are heard as a Picture of a Snowflake falling is shown*
Man: LOOK THAR! HERE IT COMES EVERYONE!
*The Snowflake hits the Ground and a Huge Nuclear Explosion occurs, a large mushroom cloud is seen from Miles Away*
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1494627
EFD: God Almighty... Did I just see what I think I saw?
*Another Camera angle is shown of a 2-inch mushroom cloud on top of a pile of sand*
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1494610
TF: You...sure...did. *TF gets tear in eye* It was...just...flat out cool.
EFD: Yes it was. It took my breath away...we send out our sympathies John Johnson's family......*Talks Happily* We'll be right back folks!
*No commercials are shown and room is shown while TF and EFD are away*
*Ten minutes later*
Camera Man: Uhhhh.... *2 minutes later camera man starts tip toeing out*
*EFD is heard from bathroom*
EFD: Don't you even think about it!
*Later on, Jack walks by the Weather Channel Studio, and through a Window sees a TV with The Weather Channel on, he stops and watches as an error with the Computer running the Background Weather Graphic occurs and States start disappearing from the US on the Map*
Jack: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! THEY'RE DESTROYING THE UNITED STATES! I MUST STOP THEM!
*Jack Grabs a latter, climbs onto it and falls multiple times before finally breaking and crawling into a small window near the top of the building, he jumps in and lands on the Supercomputer in the Contol Room, it starts making alarm noises and red lights start to flash, as smoke pours from the Machine, Jack just stares in complete confusion*
*At the Weather Desk, TF and EFD are both Ad-Libing on air when a massive explosion is heard and huge chunks of the roof cave in on them, they both sit still, staring at the Camera as plaster and wood chips lay on their heads and on the desk, until the multi-colored Off Air screen appears*
EFD: WHAT...THE.... HECK?
*Suddenly a wall Collapses and Reveals Jack sitting in the Control Room with his hair blown up like an Afro and his face covered in plaster dust and soot*
Jack: Uhhhh.... TF, EFD...What are you doing here? *Nervous*
*TF and EFD just give him a blank stare and brush the plaster dust off themselves, still staring in disbelief*
*Fires ignite in various places in the building and smoke fills the room, just as they go back on air. TF and EFD are dumbfounded*
EFD: And now for the Weather right here in Downtown Atlanta, Georgia...HOT and SMOKAY
TF: We'll be right back after this Short break.
*TF and EFD both Smile and wait for it to switch to a commercial break, 2 minutes later they're still Smiling as fires rage in the background*
*Later on, EFD is alone at the Weather Desk and is giving Travel Updates*
EFD: JUST IN FROM THE STORM ROOM...A RARE SNORNADOCANE IS OCCURING IN OKLAHOMA, HERES TF WITH THE LATEST...
*Camera shows TF holding on to a pole nearly being blown away, in a whiteout of Snow driving by Hurricane force winds. A Tornado spins in the Background*
TF: HI EFD...AS YOU CAN SEE IT IS A VERY FERCE STORM! THE WINDOMETOR IS CLOCKING THE WINDS SUSTAINED AT 135 MILES PER HOUR WITH MUCH HIGHER GUSTS! IT IS PURE DESTRUCTION OVER HERE...
*Suddenly a Cow floats by the Camera and Moos*
EFD: TF...Did i just see what i think i saw...Was that a Cow?
TF: YES IT WAS EFD, IF I WASNT HOLDING ON TO THIS POLE I WOULD BE SUCKED INTO THE LARGE VORTEX OF THIS SNORNADOCANE AS THAT COW JUST DID!
EFD: Amazing, just amazing. The Snowflakes look very large, how big are they TF?
TF: IVE ESTIMATED THEM AT ABOUT 20 INCHES ACROSS, THE SNOW IS ACCUMULATING AT ABOUT A FOOT A SECOND...
EFD: Quite Impressive. Stay save out there TF.
TF: I WILL... AHH NOOOOOOOO-
*TF flies off screen and the Camera goes blank, another camera angle shows TF standing in the Studio in a white room, with Jack pouring coconut shavings down from a wooden beam high above, a huge Fan is blowing towards TF and the Camera man*
EFD: OHHH! That didn't look good. Well, TF, I hope you have a parachute if you're blown too high! We'll check back on TF at the bottom of the hour, but now for your Local on the 8s. *Smiles*
*Commercial break*
*Two minutes later BEEF TV returns and EFD is sitting at the desk with TF in beach clothes with a tan*
EFD: Nice Hawaiian shirt, TF. And you look sharp with that Captain's hat.
TF: Thanks, EFD. Well Pittsburgh certainly is getting nice weather today.
EFD: I wish I was there right now. Been a long time since we got such nice, warm weather.
*Forest fire is shown in Pittsburgh and people are screaming and running around*
TF: Ahhh, it's nice to see people being active in this beautiful weather.
EFD: I agree, i agree. Well now its time to see how Weather affects your BEEF. Here's SOLOMON, live from San Francisco California with BEEFin USA. How's it goin' out there SOLOMON?
SOLOMON: Well it's a perfect day for a BarBEEFque party EFD, Warm, Sunny with just a slight breeze. Strong Thunderstorms and Rain were in the Forecast, but i guess it's a no show...
TF: Whats that cookin' over there SOLOMON?
SOLOMON: *Sees Grill Exploding* Oh thats BBQed Duck, its goes very well with our Main dish, BEEF. Plain. Grilled. BEEF.
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1494617
*Suddenly the sky turns black as Rain begins to come down fiercely, hail the size of Baseballs pelt the crowd of people at the BBQ Party, they all run and scream in horror as 100 MPH winds uproot trees and destroy houses as giant Tsunami's crash ashore*
TF: Well SOLOMON, it certainly looks like perfect weather for a BBQ! I wish i was there now, beautiful weather.
SOLOMON: *Barely able to Stand up from being battered by Hail, Wind, and Rain* Well as you can see, it appears a Small Rain Shower is upon us...Nothing serious though, if you can get out and enjoy this awesome weather please do! *SOLOMON is blown away by wind and lands in somebody's backyard kiddie Pool*
EFD: We'll get back to you in a moment, SOLOMON. But now here's TF with the Forecast for the Southwest!
TF: What weather changes, EFD! It's hard to keep up! Speaking about up, something crazy is happening in Arizona. Everybody's sinks in the whole state are having waterspouts! That's right! Everytime the water from the faucet hits the sink instead going down it forms a waterspout and reaches all the way to the top of the ceiling! It can't be shut off. The town is working as fast they can. While all you unfortunate Arizonian's are having this disaster BEEF TV will give you full coverage if your water is hot or cold since you have no control over anything with your sink! And to all you people who are watching this and grinning and laughing because you didn't put on the water this morning, don't be. Like I said, EVERYONE is getting a Faucetspout. Your house is flooded boy!
*Later that night TF and EFD are asleep in their Chairs at the Weatherdesk, the camera is still rolling, but the Camera man is nowhere to be found*
*Meanwhile, Jack is walking around The Weather Channel Studio, he stops and opens the Door to the Janitors Closet, walks in, and finds all the Meteorologists inside*
Jack: Who are you guys?
Warren Madden: YOUVE SAVED US!
*The Door shuts and locks*
Carl Parker: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jack: What?
Dave Schwartz: The Door just locked...We're stuck in here.
Jack: Ditto.
Paul Goodloe: Ditto?
Jack: I agree.
Paul Goodloe: Ok...
Jeff Morrow: Hey Kid, we need you to help us break out. Know how to pick locks?
Jack: Nope.
Jeff Morrow: Look on those Shelves over there, see if there's anything that could help us break out.
Jack: Okay!
*Jack reaches up to the Shelf and accidentally kicks Jim Cantore in the Stomach, the Apple pops out of Jims mouth, bounces off the Wall and hits Jack in the face, Jack falls into the Door and then onto the ground unconscious, the door creeks and opens a few inches*
Paul Goodloe: WE'RE SAVED!
Jeff Morrow: Yeah...But we have one small problem...
Paul Goodloe: What's that?
Jeff Morrow: WE'RE STILL TIED UP!
*Over at the Weather Desk, TF is awakened for a second but falls back asleep*
*Back in the Janitors Closet, Jack awakens*
Jim Cantore: Kid, come over here and untie us.
Jack: Nope.
Jim Cantore: Nope? NOPE? NOPE?! What's your name kid?
Jack: I dunno.
Jim Cantore: You don't KNOW?
Jack: Oh yeah, its Jack.
Jim Cantore: Ok Jack, why won't you untie us?
Jack: I dunno how to untie a knot.
Jim Cantore: Then go find a Knife.
Jack: Okay! *Yells* TF...EFD DO YOU KNOW WHERE THERE'S A...
Jim Cantore: SHUT UP YOU IMBACEL! If they know we're trying to escape they might kill us.
Jack: Oh Okay!
Jim Cantore: NOW GO...FIND...A KNIFE.
Jack: Okay!
*Jack starts to walk away*
Jim Cantore: And Jack...Be quiet about it.
Jack: Okay!
*2 hours later Jack comes back with a Knife*
Paul Goodloe: *Wakes up from Sleep* Jack? WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
Jack: I dunno.
Jim Cantore: Do you know anything?
Jack: Dunno.
Paul Goodloe: JUST GET THESE ROPES OFF OF US KID!
Jack: *Goes to cut them free* Wait...My Mom says i can never use a knife without her permission!
Jim Cantore: *Annoyed beyond comprehension* Your Mom...Told Paul you could use one.
Jack: Oh Okay! I didn't know she knew you Paul!
Paul Goodloe: Neither did i....
Jim Cantore: HURRY UP AND CUT THE ROPES YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!!!!
*Jack cuts everyone free*
*Later on, At 4AM, the Cameras are still Rolling, and the Meteorologists are getting ready to ambush EFD and TF, EFD and TF are at the Weather Desk still asleep and are Both Snoring*
Dave Schwartz: Ok my friends, we need to be quiet about this...Lets get rolling.
*The Weathermen surround the Desk, hiding behind nearby Objects, Dave Schwartz picks up a Bazooka, Aims it at the Desk and Fires it, the Missile blows the desk into million pieces and Knocks TF and EFD off of their seats, they fall to the Ground and the Weathermen run trying to Tackle them to the Ground, EFD grabs a Watergun and holds it to them, as this all occurs, a storm moves overhead and it begins to rain intensely with Quarter Sized Hail falling along with it, it all comes in through the massive hole in the roof causing significant damage*
EFD: HOLD IT...Hold it. Don't even breathe. Drop the Bazooka Schwartz!
*The Weathermen all get a look of fear on their faces as Dave Schwartz puts down his Bazooka*
Jim Cantore: Hey man, please...There doesn't have to be any killing...
EFD: Your not going to be killed if you do what we say.
*Just then Jeff Morrow Yells "NOOOOOOOOOO" and tries to knock the Watergun out of EFD's Hand, EFD's hand slips and it fires water at Dave Schwartz leaving a spot of water on his Chest, Dave screams in agony and falls to the Floor lifeless*
Jeff Morrow: DAVE! *He gets down near the ground and tries to Awaken Dave Schwartz* YOUVE KILLED HIM!
EFD: I didn't mean to....My hand slipped on the Gun!
TF: *Holds water gun to the Weathermen* Back in the Closet!
*Suddenly, on the Floor, Dave Schwartz reaches for TF and EFD's feet, he yanks on them causing TF and EFD to fall, the Waterguns slide across the floor, Jeff Morrow and Dave Schwartz grab the Waterguns*
Paul Goodloe: DAVE! YOU LIVE!
Dave Schwartz: *Holding Watergun to EFD and TF* My mother always taught me to never go to work without a Waterproof suit my friend.
Jim Cantore: Jeff, Call the Police.
TF: NOOOOOO Anything but the Police!
Dave Schwartz: Wait Jeff, i have a better idea.
Paul Goodloe: What's that?
Dave Schwartz: We don't have to Call the Police, they can work here as our PERSONAL BUTLERS with no pay until they would've made enough money to cover the damages that they caused...
TF: JACK DID THAT!
Dave Schwartz: Sure he did, sure he did.
Jim Cantore: You know what? That's not such a bad idea...
Dave Schwartz: So what is it guys? You have 10 seconds *Sets timer on watch*
TF and EFD: WE'LL BE YOUR BUTLERS!
Dave Schwartz: Ok then, you start Tomorrow. And don't try running from us, we have Videotaped Evidence you caused these Damages. Both of you Sign here...And it's a deal
*EFD and TF Sign the Contract*
EFD: So Dave...
Dave Schwartz: That's Mr. Schwartz to you.
EFD: So MISTER SCHWARTZ, approximately how long are we going to have to work for?
Dave Schwartz: Oh, I'd say every day for about 2 years.
EFD and TF: TWO YEARS? *Both get look of Horror on Faces*
Jim Cantore: And not a day less. But if you're both helpful we just might let you off in only a year...
EFD and TF: SIR YES SIR!
*Scene Cuts to a fat middle-aged man sitting on his couch watching BEEF TV, and just saw what went on in The Weather Channel Studio, since it was all broadcast live on TV *
Man: THIS IS BETTER THAN REALITY TV!
*At the Studio Jim Cantore smiles and looks over at Camera as it zooms to his face*
Jim Cantore: We'll be right back after your Local on the 8s!
*One week later, Jim Cantore and Dr. Steve Lyons are discussing Hurricane Enrique's track*
Jim Cantore: So Dr. Lyons, where does it look like this Hurricane will hit?
Dr. Lyons: Well Jim it looks like it'll hit somewhere near the Georgia/Florida Coast, Significant flooding and wind damage is likely in the path of this Hurricane, and there are Mandatory Evacuations taking place in many places in and near the projected path of Enrique.
Jim Cantore: And when does it look like it will hit?
Dr. Lyons: Well probably around 9AM Tuesday for the Coastal areas.
Jim Cantore: Ok, Thank you Dr. Lyons, our Hurricane Expert Dr. Steve Lyons will be with us here throughout the night giving you complete coverage of the approaching storm.
*TF walks up and brings Jim a glass of Lemonade with a small umbrella in it*
Jim Cantore: *Raises Glass* We'll be right back after your Local on the 8s! *Takes a Sip of his Lemonade*
THE END