Sit-Com Survivor: Episode 1

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

It appears that I have finally found a fanfiction board worthy of this piece. Most fanfiction sites are centered around one show, or have different areas devoted specifically to one show. What follows is something that does what few fanfiction pieces have. This is a Survivor parody that is also the ultimate sit-com cross over; featuring characters from Full House, Everybody Loves Raymond, Cheers, Three's Company, and many more shows.

NOTICE: This author does not claim any ownership over ‘Survivor’ or the characters used in the story. The following is merely a parody. The fact that the story involves various characters from a number television comedies is in no way meant to state or imply that ‘Survivor’ is scripted, that the challenges are rigged, or that CBS has been fraudulent in any manor with this program. A note especially meant for my mother, who is convinced that just because it is shown on television, it must be fixed. To follow that reasoning would mean that all game shows and professional sporting events were also fixed.

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

Sit-Com Survivor: The Australian Outback

By Michael P. Hill

Episode 1, Day 1:

The passengers sat nervously on the plane, unaware of what would await them in the weeks ahead. Suddenly, a man rose from his seat at the front of the plane. He then said, “We’re on board a 36B-47 Green Stealth Fighter, on loan to us from the Royal Australian Air Force! Normally, these planes are used to rescue people in dangerous situations, but today, we have a different purpose in mind! I am your host Jeff Probst, and these 16 people behind me are about to get a massive dose of reality! They have been separated into two teams, and are about to be abandoned here, in the Australian Outback! They will be forced to carve out a new existence, totally accountable for their actions! They must learn to adapt, or they will be voted out of the tribe! In the end, only one will remain, and claim the $1 million prize!” Finally, the plane touched down in the desert, and the passengers were told to leave immediately. “An infinite number of obstacles, $1million, 39 days, 16 people, 1 SURVIVOR!”

The 16 people had been separated into two teams, each team given a crate of supplies. They were given 5 minutes to salvage what ever they could carry, and then headed off in opposite directions to their respective camps along the shore of Australia’s Herbert River.

The Taguchamburotu tribe, a name formed from the Tagi, Kucha, Samburu, and Rotu tribes from the first four seasons of ‘Survivor’, always wore blue and consisted of:

Danny Tanner: a talk show host from Full House
Rebecca Donaldson: a talk show producer from Full House
Norm Peterson: an accountant from Cheers
Carla Tortelli: a waitress/bar tender from Cheers
Frank Barone: a retired Army veteran from Everybody Loves Raymond
Marie Barone: a housewife from Everybody Loves Raymond
Robert Barone: a police officer from Everybody Loves Raymond
And Roseanne Connor: a store clerk from Roseanne

The Pagakoranamu tribe, a name formed from the Pagong, Ogakor, Boran, and Maraamu tribes from the first four seasons of ‘Survivor’, always wore green and consisted of:

Alex Keaton: a stockbroker from Family Ties
Claire Huxtable: an attorney from The Cosby Show
Jesse Katsopolis: a musician from Full House
Chrissy Snow: a secretary from Three’s Company
Jack Tripper: a chef from Three’s Company
Janet Wood: a flower shop manager from Three’s Company
Raymond Barone: a sports reporter from Everybody Loves Raymond
And Thelma Harper: a homemaker from Mama’s Family

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

TAGUCHAMBUROTU CAMP:

The tribe gathered its supplies and proceeded to hike to their camp. “Forget it Norm, there is no way that I can carry that pot,” insisted Rebecca.

“And you think I can?” responded Norm.

“Norm, that pot has to way 200 lbs. You carry twice that around every day. I think you can handle that,” insisted Carla.

“How would you like to where that pot on your head?” threatened Norm.

“Watch it, Norm! Remember who serves you beer every day!” responded Carla.

“Good point,” responded Norm.

“Will you quit yackin’ for three freakin’ seconds? We’re not going anywhere until we figure out who has the stupid map!” intervened Frank.

“What do you want? I don’t have the map,” said Robert.

“Don’t yell at me either, Frank! I don’t have the map!” intervened Marie.

“Trust me Marie, I could come up with about 4,000,000,000 other reasons to yell at you!” insisted Frank.

“Wait a minute Frank, I think I see the map. Weirdest thing, it was stuck in the rice container,” informed Danny. He took the map out of the container and began folding it.

“Danny, what the hell are you doing?” demanded Frank.

“This map is folded all wrong. You see, a properly folded map would have the cover page on the front, and the legend would be located…”

“GIVE ME THAT!” yelled Frank.

“Wait a minute. Who said you get the map?” asked Marie.

“Did you drive a tank half way across Korea? I don’t think so, because if they had seen you coming, they would have surrendered in two seconds!” replied Frank.

“Get a clue, Frank! You get lost backing out of the driveway!” insisted Marie.

“Okay, let’s have Robert lead the way! He’s probably the only one here who can see over the trees!” insisted Frank.

“Brilliant, another height joke. Dad, work on some new material,” responded Robert.

“Why? The old material is still funny,” explained Frank.

“Alright, let’s keep the arguing down for about two minutes! Danny and I will take the map. I will put the rice and some of the food and kitchen supplies on that wooden box top. Now who thinks they can carry that?” asked Rebecca.

“I think we can handle that,” added Frank.

“Whose we?” asked Danny.

“Robert, myself, and Marie,” explained Frank.

“That’s ‘Robert, Marie, and myself’, use proper English,” explained Marie.

“I’m not in the mood, Marie!” retorted Frank.

“You haven’t been in the mood for five months!” retorted Marie.

“Gee, I wonder why!” exclaimed Frank.

“Oh gees… I don’t need to hear this!” intervened Robert.

“Okay, so they have the board with the supplies. That leaves Norm, Carla, and Roseanne with the pot, the rope, and those two water jugs,” explained Danny. “Alright that should be everything. It is probably going to get dark soon, so let’s move.”

And so they headed off into the forest, the beginning of what would be a grueling five mile hike. About a mile into the hike Marie and Robert were having some trouble with the wooden board and supplies. “Why me? Why always me? I bet Raymond’s tribe isn’t making him carry anything at all. Everything always works out so great for Raymond,” complained Robert who was carrying one end of the wooden board.

“Oh dear, I had not thought of that. I hope they don’t make Raymond carry anything heavy. He’s not very strong, he could pull a muscle,” said Marie.

“I don’t believe it, Marie Barone actually stopped thinking about her favorite son for two seconds,” responded Robert.

“Would you quit being a wuss for once in your life? Jesus Christ, I can’t believe they let sissies like you into the police department!” called Frank, who was carrying the other end of the wooden board.

“Police officers don’t usually carry all this awkward stuff. Come on, I’m afraid of dropping this thing on ma’s head,” insisted Robert.

“He does bring up a point. There are some sharp knives on that board. If one of them falls off and hits her, we have a serious injury on our hands,” informed Rebecca.

“I guess I hadn’t thought of that,” explained Danny.

“In that case…” said Frank as he tilted his end of the board, causing all of the supplies to fall to the ground.

DANNY TALKS ABOUT THE HIKE:

We had walked a pretty fair distance into the forest at that point, I think a mile, maybe a mile and a half. Rebecca and I were leading the way at that point. Robert, Marie, and Frank had the wooden box top with the supplies on it. Anyway, Robert brings up this point of… well what if he drops the board on Marie. I was kind of feeling for Marie at that point too, because Frank had one end of the board, Robert had the other, and Marie kind of ended up with the board right over her head. So I figured we would stop, and I would at least get some of the sharp stuff off of the board. All of the sudden, Frank decides to tilt his end of the board, which of course makes everything on top fall. All I remember thinking is: are you trying to get someone killed? Supplies can also get damaged that way too. I am a generally nice guy, I try to get along with everyone, but Frank is going to be a challenge to get along with him. I held my tongue at that point and just reorganized and we were on our way again. But I honestly don’t know for how long I am going to be able to do that.

FRANK TALKS ABOUT DANNY:

Me and Danny are not going to be friends. That became obvious very quickly. He’s too perfect, you know what I mean, he likes everything neat and organized. That business about the map not being folded right or whatever… who the hell cares? I hope me and him are around for a while, because two weeks in this desert is going to teach him some things, and I want to be around to see it.

About three miles in, “Looks like you are going to get a break Robert. We’re loosing some people,” informed Danny as he looked behind him. “This isn’t good, we’re missing three people. Norm, Carla, and Roseanne are nowhere to be seen.”

And so they waited. After about 20 minutes, Frank said, “This is pointless, this is absolutely pointless. They’re obviously lost. I say we get to the camp, loose this crap, and come back for them.”

“We’re not lost, just slow,” insisted Carla as she came up through the brush. She was carrying a long tree branch, on which was tied a piece of rope. On the other end of the rope was tied the iron cooking pot which held the remaining rope and a water jug. Norm followed carrying the other water jug. This was followed by Roseanne.

“I am so glad I don’t live in the country now, hiking is a pain in the butt,” exclaimed Roseanne.

ROBERT ON THE HIKE:

I couldn’t believe it, she had absolutely nothing. Danny had pointed out that we were missing some people. So we waited, we must have waited about 15 minutes or whatever, felt more like 15 years. Then all of the sudden Carla shows up out of nowhere. She has this branch with some rope tied to it, and she was dragging the pot with it. Then Norm shows up with one of the water jugs. Then came Roseanne with absolutely nothing. I couldn’t believe it at all.

CARLA TALKS ABOUT ROSEANNE:

One night down at Cheers, a guy sat next to Norm for a while and started talking to him. The guy asked Norm what his job was. I said to him: ‘He sits on that stool and drinks beer all day, that’s his job’. I used to think he was the laziest human being on the planet, until I met Roseanne. She didn’t carry anything, didn’t even offer to carry anything. All the time I am thinking, if this is some strategy to win, you’re not winning any points with me. Thank you for the great vacation Mark Burnette, really. I haven’t had this much fun since I had my twins.

About another hour into the journey, Danny yelled out “Hey! Hey! I think that’s it!”

“I think that is it!” responded Rebecca.

“It’s more amazing than I ever imagined!” insisted Marie.

"It’s the Survivor flag!” called out Carla as they turned a corner and spotted the blue tribal Survivor flag.

“Holy crap!” intervened Frank. With that everyone except Frank celebrated by jumping in the river.

“Hey, I’m here everyone!” informed Norm as he came out of the forest.

“NORM! Oh come on, get in the spirit everyone. NORM!” yelled Carla.

“Don’t sweat it Carla, they’re rookies. They will catch on eventually,” said Norm as he sat next to Frank. Roseanne finally arrived and jumped in the river with the rest of the tribe. Only Norm and Frank remained on the beach. Suddenly Norm spoke up, “So, where’s the beer?”

REBECCA ON ARRIVING AT CAMP:

Arriving at camp was… I don’t even know where to begin. It was like all the past Survivors had described it, and now I know what they felt. It was like a victory from with in. After everything we had been through before then, the flights from New York to Los Angeles to Australia to the other half of Australia to the outback, just being there at that flag is an accomplishment in itself.

NORM ON ARRIVING AT CAMP:

That hike sent a message to me, this is going to be a challenge. That hike in itself was a challenge, especially for a fat slob like me who hasn’t walked more than 20ft at a time in his life. I was just glad to get to camp and at least get a brief rest before the real work started.

“We’re on a tribe of morons,” insisted Frank.

“How do you figure?” asked Norm

“It’s windy, we don’t have a fire, and they just jumped in the water. That makes us smart. Those idiots jumped in the water, they will be freezing to death when they get out of there,” explained Frank.

“Actually, you’re smart, I’m lucky. I just wanted to stop and rest for about 5 hours,” insisted Norm.

Night soon fell on the camp. Frank had been busy trying to start a fire. “Screw it, we just lost the sun. The rest of you will just have to freeze tonight,” insisted Frank.

“Everyone! We’ve got food!” called Danny from a bush. Immediately everyone ran to the bush. “I think they are figs,” informed Danny. He took one off of the bush, began to open the outside, and then dropped it on the ground as he had discovered that the inside was filled with flies.

“What a bunch of wimps,” insisted Frank. He picked the fig off of the ground, dusted off the sand, and ate it flies and all.

“Are you nuts? I can’t believe you did that,” responded Carla.

“That wasn’t very smart, Frank!” insisted Marie.

“Insects are meat,” replied Frank.

“Those could have been poisonous. You could have known for sure if you had taken the time to check the official Australian Outback Survival binder,” informed Robert. He then left and returned with a large binder. “In here is everything you need to know about surviving out here. It describes things like deadly insects…”

“Things that are boring!” interrupted Frank.

“Poisonous plants…”

“Things no one cares about!” interrupted Carla.

“Proper bate for the fish in this area…”

“Incredibly boring things,” interrupted Norm.

REBECCA ON THE NIGHT’S ACTIVITIES

Robert took a huge ribbing last night. I really don’t understand some of the people on this tribe. All Robert was trying to do was inform us about the dangers and everything that is out here. Some of us were actually trying to listen, but Norm, Carla, and Frank just would not stop talking. I don’t know about you Carla, but I care. I don’t want to die out here. And his own father stared it. It’s official, Frank is a class A jerk.

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

PAGAKORANAMU CAMP:

The tribe gathered their supplies and headed off to their camp. Immediately conflicts began to rise.

“Hey Claire, Thelma! How did you get stuck carrying that heavy cooking pot?” asked Alex.

“I didn’t see anyone else volunteering. Someone has to carry this thing,” insisted Claire.

“What about this? Me and… Jack, you look strong. We can carry the pot,” explained Alex.

“I’m not that strong,” intervened Jack.

“Just leave it alone,” insisted Raymond.

“No Ray, I wouldn’t feel like a proper gentleman if I made these two very well dressed ladies carry that heavy pot,” insisted Alex.

“Do you want to help me carry this thing? Be my guest,” replied Claire.

“No, Jack and I will carry the pot. He’s naturally stronger,” insisted Alex.

“I am not that strong, I don’t know what gave you that impression,” intervened Jack.

“Let it go, Alex,” insisted Raymond.

“Jack, you have to be stronger than her. We are talking basic biology here. We will take the pot and give the ladies something more their speed,” said Alex as he handed Claire a stirring spoon.

“Now I am starting to catch on. You know, you’re right. You carry the pot. In fact, why not carry these water jugs too?” insisted Claire.

Then Janet chimed in, “And this wooden box top is pretty heavy. I think the guys can handle that. There’s also the frying pans over here and the rice container…”

JACK TALKS ABOUT ALEX:

Alex is just unbelievable. He has the people skills of a tapeworm. We had just barely started the hike, and Alex, who apparently hates girls for some reason, notices that Claire and Thelma are carrying the big pot. Well, he insisted on me and him carrying that pot, and that bothered Claire. Any other human being could have seen that. You could hear Ray like… practically begging ‘let it go, let it go’. Then he handed Claire the spoon, which really upset her, and then all the girls rallied behind her. So what it boils down to is this, because of Alex’s big mouth, the guys got stuck carrying everything.

THELMA ON ALEX:

I guess the old saying really is true, appearances really can deceive. On that plane ride in, I sat across from Alex. Just from looking at him I thought he gave off the impression that he might be a really nice guy, the guy is an idiot. In all my years, I have never seen a more stuck up, arrogant fool in my life. First off, what kind of jackass where’s a suit and tie on a camping trip? That had to weigh 20 lbs, he will sweat to death in about five minutes out here. He thinks he is the leader and everyone will follow him. I am just itching to vote that stuck up looser off.

CLAIRE TALKS ABOUT THE HIKE:

Poor, defenseless Jack, I can’t believe he is still alive. I don’t think I stopped laughing for the first half of the hike. We would get pretty far ahead of the guys, so like every once and awhile we would turn around and wait for them. I swear, Jack must have dropped his end of the pot about 10 times, and then that started a whole chain reaction. Jack would have to stop, which caught Ray and Jesse off guard, and Ray would drop the wooden box top with the supplies on it. Then Jesse would drop both of the water jugs. One time the cap of one container came off, and I think we lost half a container of water. Then about half way through, Alex lost his grip on the pot. Jack then fell backwards, and rolled down a hill for about ten feet. Thankfully he wasn’t injured, but at that point I realized I had let this go too far. So we took some of the supplies off of the guys.

“Hold on, I’m confused,” informed Chrissy who had been given the map at the half way transition.

“Chrissy is lost again. How many times have I said that in the past 10 minutes?” asked Alex who was now carrying one of the water jugs.

“About 15, I am not completely sure. I lost count,” insisted Ray who was carrying the other water jug.

“That was a rhetorical question Ray,” informed Alex. “Did you just hear her? ‘I think we’re near this big tree’, we’re in a forest. There is nothing but big trees out here.”

RAYMOND’S FIRST IMPRESSION OF CHRISSY:

Every dumb blonde joke I have ever heard in my life is true, I am absolutely positive now. But who ever decided to give her the map is not that much smarter. We would walk for about 5 minutes, then she would get lost. I am a sports reporter, and in my job I do a lot of traveling. I read maps all the time. I know I would have done a far better job with that map. Helen Keller would have done a better job of reading that map, anybody but Chrissy.

“Hey, I think I see the flag!” yelled Janet.

“Have Mercy! That is the flag!” replied Jesse. The others were quick to spot the flag, and ran to their camp. All except for Alex who lagged behind the others.

“And six days later, Chrissy gets us here,” said Alex as he arrived at camp.

JESSE ON THE ARRIVAL AT CAMP:

Have mercy! I thought we would never get to that flag. Seriously, between the Alex and Claire thing, and all the Chrissy screw ups, I was really starting to doubt weather or not we would ever see camp. So finding that flag has… like totally renewed my faith in miracles. I can’t wait until the merge so I can talk with the other tribe about their arrival at camp. There is no way that they had nearly as many hardships as we had today. So, after everything that has happened, I was wondering is there anything extra in this for us? Maybe immunity? You know I had to ask.

Later on that day, Jack was trying to start a fire. Claire walked up to him and said, “I’m going around to all of the guys and apologizing for what happened on the hike today. It had nothing to do with you…”

“You and Thelma had that pot under control. I don’t blame you, I don’t blame any of the other girls. I blame Alex for insisting that he and I carry the pot, because he made a decision for both of us,” explained Jack.

“You’ve hit my point exactly. I am not a child anymore, in fact I have five kids. I can take care of myself, I can make my own decisions,” insisted Claire.

“He thinks he knows everyone, but he doesn’t. Look at these stick arms of mine, clearly I am not strong enough to carry that pot. I told everyone after the plane landed that I was a chef. He tried to give you the cooking spoon,” explained Jack.

“When I was going to pull Ray and Jesse aside to apologize to them, I heard them talking to Alex about Chrissy and the map. This is a quote from Alex: ‘She couldn’t read that map to save her life. Perfect example of what happens when you put a girl in charge’,” informed Claire.

“I got the impression that he had some sort of problem with girls,” insisted Jack.

“I don’t lose it very often, but that kind of blatant sexual stereotyping gets under my skin. I have dealt with it for years as an attorney. If Alex lasts more than 3 days, security will be taking me out of here because I will kill him,” insisted Claire.

“I know what you mean. I cook for a living. I have faced the same type of remarks you are talking about; sissy, wimp, fruitcake, girly man. I’ll have you know this ‘girly fruitcake’ served in the US NAVY,” explained Jack.

“I guess I never saw it from your side,” insisted Claire.

Meanwhile Alex, Chrissy, and Raymond were busy working on the shelter. “So basically, I want to win because I like money. I love money. If you could marry money, I would,” informed Alex.

“I just want to win to see what a million dollar bill looks like,” informed Chrissy.

“Million dollar bill? I deal with money for a living. I can safely tell you that there is no such thing as a million dollar bill,” insisted Alex.

“Then how are they going to pay the winner?” asked Chrissy.

“They are called checks. You know, those pieces of paper you take to the bank, you sign them and you get money,” explained Alex.

ALEX TALKS ABOUT CHRISSY:

Okay, Chrissy… I don’t even know where to begin. I want to say that she is just slightly less intelligent than sand, but I think that would be an insult to the intelligence of sand. And I used to call my sister Mallory in idiot, compared to Chrissy my sister is Albert Einstein. Million dollar bill? Really. That kind of ignorance about economics really burns me, I mean I’m still fighting back tears. I don’t get it, she filled out the application, she passed the psychological evaluations. I know that there is a brain in there somewhere, but where?

Janet and Jesse were searching for food. “I can’t believe they split us up,” informed Jesse.

“What do you mean?” asked Janet.

“My family, they split us up. My wife and my brother in law are on the other team. You, Jack, and Chrissy all know each other, I am starting fresh,” explained Jesse.

“We’re all starting fresh. I don’t know everyone here either,” insisted Janet. “You’ll see them again, for challenges.”

“Not the same as having them around all the time,” insisted Jesse.

“I think Ray said earlier that he has family on the other team, so you are not alone,” explained Janet.

JANET TALKS ABOUT JESSE:

This is the first time that they have had groups of people that know each other on Survivor, some friendships have stayed together, and others have been separated. Jesse has been separated from some of the members of his family, and it is getting to him. Jesse, he comes off as such a big tough guy, but I got to know him today. He is very close to his family, and has a big heart. I guess you can’t always judge a book by its cover.

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

Day 2:

PAGAKORANAMU CAMP:

Day 2 found the tribe around the fire pit. Jesse and Jack sat in front of the other six. Jesse was making twisting motions with his hand and imitating radio static. Finally he called out, “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING AUSTRALIA!! This is the J&J Outback Morning Radio Show! I’m Jesse Katsopolis!”

“And I’m Jack Tripper! Right now it is about O-600 hours! What does the O stand for, O my lord, it’s early!” intervened Jack.

“Hello everyone, good morning, amen, and have some mercy! We have a great line up for you this morning, with all your favorite moldy oldies!” yelled Jesse.

“That is correct Jesse, but first let’s get the morning weather with our very own Chrissy Snow! Hey, I know what you are all thinking, and no that is not a stage name!” insisted Jack.

“Well Jack, it’s hot. What more can I say?” informed Chrissy.

“Look at it this way, it can’t possibly get any hotter than the weather girl,” intervened Jack. Then Chrissy threw a spoon at him.

"Really Jack, when are you going to stop being such a flirt?” asked Chrissy.

“When it stops being fun,” responded Jack.

“You’re hopeless. Anyway, skies appear to be mostly clear and sunny today. Expect a hi of around… I don’t know 400 degrees. Tonight, we should have clear skies with a low of around 300 degrees,” reported Chrissy.

“Wow, 400 degrees. Well, look at it this way, that’s only 360 degrees in the shade,” explained Jack.

“Now let’s get back to the music with three in a row from the King himself, Elvis Pressley!” insisted Jesse. He then rose and went into a chorus of Heartbreak Hotel, followed by Jail House Rock, and finally Love Me Tender.

“Love those old classics, Jesse. Well, now let’s go to some one we haven’t heard from in awhile, our own Ray Barone with sports,” informed Jack.

“Well, not much to report today. Both tribes are still waiting for the notice about the first challenge,” insisted Ray.

JANET DISCUSSES THE RADIO SHOW:

Jesse is a radio DJ, and so last night before we went to sleep we got the idea to do this mock morning radio show. Jesse was a bit depressed yesterday on account of being separated from his wife. So I figured doing this would help him fit in and feel more comfortable with the tribe. We all had some part in the show, and I really think Jesse is coming around now.

JESSE DESCRIBES THE RADIO SHOW:

My friend and I are DJs back in San Francisco, and the one person on this tribe that really comes close to him is Jack. So I figured let’s put the two of us together as DJs. He also did a food report. Chrissy did the weather. Ray did the sports… that might not have been the smartest idea to have sports since we haven’t had any challenges yet. Claire and I did some music, Claire has one of the best female voices I have heard in a long time. So, you know, it was just a fun way to start the day, before we had to get to work.

Later that day, Alex was rubbing sticks together attempting to start a fire. Jack walked past him and said, ”You’re doing that too fast, Alex.”

“You need friction to get heat,” insisted Alex.

“I’m telling you, if you keep doing it that fast, you are going to end up with tired arms and broken twigs. That is not going to work,” replied Jack.

“I’ve been camping before, I’ve seen this done thousands of times,” insisted Alex.

“And I have done time in the NAVY. I know a few things about survival,” informed Jack.

“Well, when I am on a ship and the cooking supplies are about to go over board, I’ll call you,” responded Alex. The next thing that was heard was the snap of a broken twig. “Okay, I need stronger sticks.”

“Broken sticks, I wonder who could have seen that coming?” asked Jack sarcastically.

“The sticks were not strong enough,” insisted Alex.

“All I am saying is that it would not kill you to listen to someone else’s ideas once and awhile!” replied Jack.

“Like what?” asked Alex.

“Last night, Ray had some ideas for the shelter that you never even considered! All you kept saying was ‘I don’t think that can be done’!” explained Jack.

“Okay, that is where you are wrong, you think Ray was doing something,” insisted Alex.

“Okay, you have officially lost your mind!” insisted Jack.

“Or anyone else on this tribe was doing something for that matter! I’ve been working my butt off and everyone else just lays around watching! So don’t try and criticize me!” insisted Alex.

“You’re kidding, everyone has been working their butts off!” retorted Jack.

“I’ve worked twice as hard as anyone else! I am not trying to fault anyone, but…”

“In your world!” interrupted Jack.

“What?” asked Alex.

“In your world! Meanwhile on this world, you have not been on one food or water run yet! Jesse and I came in earlier with two full jugs of water, and you are down here sitting in the sun rambling on and on about your BMW!” replied Jack.

“What about the shelter?” asked Alex.

“Let’s talk about that shelter! Nice floor, but where is the roof? I hope it does not rain anytime soon!” insisted Jack.

“I’ll finish the shelter when I get this stupid fire started!” insisted Alex. Then the two parted ways.

JACK EXPLAINS THE ARGUMENT:

Alex, if there was any possibility of me seeing you in a different light you just killed it. Seriously, the guy thinks he is God’s gift to the universe. He thinks he knows everything, and doesn’t take criticism well at all. And if he thinks anyone on this tribe is slacking… I don’t know… the heat must be doing something to his brain. If this guy’s head gets any bigger, he could be a float in the Thanksgiving Parade.

ALEX’S SIDE OF THE ARGUMENT:

I guess I really don’t blame Jack for going off on me. It’s only natural to react that way to criticism. But I don’t back away from what I said either, because I think it is true, I do more then the rest of the tribe. I mean with the girls… I can understand, they’re girls. They are going to want to save what little strength they have for the challenges. But yes, I think I work more than Jack, I know I work harder than Ray. They would be idiots to get rid of me.

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

TAGUCHAMBUROTU CAMP:

Day 2 found the tribe awake trying to start a fire. Then Norm woke up and crawled out from under the roof of the tribe’s shelter. “Good morning everyone,” said Norm as he headed for the water jugs.

“NORM!” yelled the tribe in unison.

“Well, we have a limited supply this morning, but what will you have?” asked Robert.

“Carla under glass,” insisted Norm.

“Me! Why me?” asked Carla.

“You said they came into our camp last night and replaced our water with beer! Does this look like beer to you?” asked Norm as he showed Carla the contents of the water container.

“See Frank, I told you he would flip!” insisted a loud laughing Carla.

“You don’t joke about that sort of thing, ever! I was really looking forward to having a beer this morning!” insisted Norm. “I guess I have no choice. I will get my luxury item and have some, gag, water.” He then went to his bag and pulled out a beer glass with a Cheers logo on it.

“What the hell is Cheers anyway?” asked Roseanne.

“It’s this bar in Boston where I work and Norm lives,” informed Carla.

“She exaggerates, I don’t technically live there. And believe me, I am still ticked that the post office won’t change my address,” explained Norm. Then he poured himself a full glass of water.

ROSEANNE TALKS ABOUT NORM AND RATIONING:

Last night after we got out of the river, and even before we started working on the fire, we all sat down and discussed how we would ration the supplies. We agreed as a tribe to one small cup of water in the morning. And then this morning I clearly saw Norm take his luxury item beer glass and fill it to the top. I mean, he had at least twice what we had this morning. I’m thinking ‘Gees pig! If we are going to starve to death, we might as well starve evenly! Save some for the rest of us!’ I don’t want to go to Tribal Council, but if I have to, I would definitely vote for Norm. He hoards supplies, and he is lazy.

Later that day, Rebecca came out from behind some bushes. “Hey everyone, we have mail!” yelled Rebecca.

“Tree mail! It’s challenge time!” exclaimed Danny.

“So what torture test are they putting us through first?” asked Roseanne.

Rebecca walked the tribe back to the shelter and began to read the message. “It says ‘Four teams of two, they must all work as one. Fail to do so, and your stay here could be done. Choose your pairings wisely, it will help you in this race. Be the first to light the flame, get three more days in this place’. So what? They are going to split us up and have us make fire?”

“We’re screwed. We are so screwed,” insisted Carla.

DANNY TALKS ABOUT THE UP COMING CHALLENGE:

We got tree mail telling us about our first challenge today. It is for immunity, and we really don’t know what to expect. All we know for sure is that it involves starting a fire. Immediately Carla’s reaction was ‘we’re screwed’. The sad part is, she might be right. We can’t seem to start a fire to save our lives. Literally, we cannot start a fire to save our lives. So, we could be in trouble today.

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE:

The tribes met host Jeff Probst at Challenge Beach. “Good afternoon everyone. So, let me get an update from both tribes. What has it been like? How have you been doing with fire?” asked Jeff.

“What’s fire?” asked Roseanne.

“Same here, we have had no luck with fire,” informed Ray.

“Then that makes today’s challenge even more important. Today you are playing for this, a container of water resistant matches,” explained Jeff. He then showed the small container of matches to the contestants. “Even more important, you are also playing for this,” he said as he revealed a painted, carved wooden block from under a sheet. “This is the Immunity Idol, you want this in your possession as much as possible. Win this…”

“And we don’t have to go to Tribal Council. We’ve heard the speech before,” intervened Norm.

“Yeah, what he said. So I am going to pass the idol around, let everyone get a feel for it,” insisted Jeff. He first gave the idol to the Pagakoranamu people. They passed the idol around to the Taguchamburotu tribe. All went smoothly until it got to Norm. “Okay Norm, I need that back now. … Norm, I am not kidding, give me that.” He then went headed for Norm. This was followed by a five minute game of keep away between Norm and the host. Finally Jeff regained possession of the idol. “Now for the challenge. For this challenge, there will be for stations, each station will be manned by two members of your tribe. For the first station, you will note that in front of each tribe is a barrel of rocks. One person will pick up a rock and travel 10 yards to their partner who will break the rock open with a mallet. They will then pass the mallet to their partner, run back to the barrel, get another rock, and repeat. They will do this until they break open the two rocks that contain keys. They will then travel 10 yards and pass the keys off to the next pair. Those keys will unlock two large boxes. Inside each box is an oar and a torch. These two will then run 60 yards to the river, and pass the oars and the torches to the next pair who will be waiting by their respective canoe. This next pair will paddle 20 yards to a floating fire pit. They will light the torches, paddle another 10 yards, and pass the lit torches to the final pair. Both people will then carry one of their tribe’s torches up a ladder where they will be used to light another fire pit. First tribe to light both of the fire pits at the other end of the course wins reward and immunity. You will each be given 2 minutes to decide who will run each leg of the course.” The tribes huddled for two minutes and then the pairs lined up at their respective stations. “Survivors ready! … GO!”

Claire and Thelma ran the first leg of the course for Pagakoranamu, Carla and Marie for Taguchamburotu. “Good lord, these rocks weigh more than me!” said Thelma as she handed one rock to Claire. Claire broke the rock open, no key. Then she handed the mallet to Thelma and ran back to the barrel. They repeated this process four times and still no keys.

“It has been 15 minutes and still no keys! Be patient everyone, they are in there somewhere!” informed Jeff Probst. Even so it was clear that Carla and Marie had a speed advantage over the other two. In that 15 minutes Carla and Marie had broken 18 rocks, Claire and Thelma only 14.

About five minutes later Carla yelled out, ”It’s a key! We finally got a key!”

“Carla and Marie have their first key!” called out Jeff Probst. Carla passed the mallet to Marie and ran to get another rock. When Carla returned with another rock, Marie broke it open revealing the second key. “Carla and Marie have both keys! They will pass to Danny and Norm! Claire and Thelma just got their first key! We are moving now!”

Carla passed her key off to Norm, Marie passed her key to Danny. They quickly opened their boxes and retrieved the items. Danny was quick to get his oar and torch to Robert, but Norm lagged behind. “Danny and Norm have their items! Passing off to Robert and Frank! Claire and Thelma do not give up yet!” insisted Jeff Probst.

Jeff Probst had no sooner said that when Thelma yelled out, “We have our second key!”

“Perfect, pass them off to Jesse and Jack!” explained Jeff Probst.

“Oh hell, I almost forgot about that!” insisted Thelma. Claire and Thelma passed off to Jack and Jesse. They opened their boxes just as Norm finally reached the river to pass his oar and torch to Frank. Jack and Jesse were quick to get their oars and torches to Ray and Alex.

“Both tribes have reached the canoes! Looks like we have a race on our hands!” called out Jeff Probst.

Canoeing would prove more easily said then done. As they began paddling out, Frank and Robert had trouble controlling the canoe. “We’re turning dad! Why are we turning?” asked Robert.

“We wouldn’t be turning if someone would steer! So steer will you!” yelled Frank.

“You’re in front, you steer!” responded Robert.

Raymond and Alex were having their own problems. “Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! That means you Alex!” insisted Ray.

“I’m waiting until my arms grow back, then we’ll see!” responded Alex.

“No dad, steer! Steer! I’m rowing, you’re steering! It’s not rocket science!” insisted Robert.

“I’m trying to steer!” insisted Frank.

“You’re not steering, you’re rowing! That’s my job!” responded Robert.

“Robert, I am this close to using you as an oar!” exclaimed Frank.

“Fine by me, get yourself thrown out!” insisted Robert.

“Oh shut up idiot!” replied Frank.

“Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Oh come on, Alex! I am stroking for two up here!” yelled Raymond.

“And doing a fine job I might add! I don’t want to screw it up!” responded Alex.

In the end Ray and Alex would get their torches lighted first. Frank and Robert soon figured out the canoe, and were not that far behind. Ray and Alex reached the other side of the river first and passed the torches to Janet and Chrissy, and they began to climb their respective ladders. Then the unthinkable happened. As Chrissy started to climb, she dropped the torch, and it landed in the river extinguishing the flame. It was over, all they could do was watch Roseanne and Rebecca climb their ladders and light their pits.

“It’s over!” yelled Jeff Probst. “Tagigu… Togatugi… Toochygoochy… Oh screw it. The blue people win reward and immunity! Green people, I am sorry to say tomorrow we have a date at Tribal Council. You can all head back to camp,”

CARLA DISCUSSES THE IMMUNITY CHALLENGE:

Well, what do you know? We weren’t screwed after all. I also know that sometimes people will surprise you. Honestly when I got paired up with Marie, I thought we were doomed from the start. I never thought the old lady could move as fast as she did. Robert and Frank, two strong guys who couldn’t figure out how to work a canoe. That was nice to see actually, Frank keeps telling us that he knows everything about survival out here. I guess he is not so smart after all. Then klutzy on the other tribe dropped her torch, and I could not stop laughing. I knew we won at that point. Someone has to be the first person voted off, and it won’t be me.

ALEX DISCUSSES THE IMMUNITY CHALLENGE:

Well, what can I say about Chrissy? Once again Chrissy is Chrissy. Ray and I had a lead on the other team, not a big lead, but we had a lead going into that final piece. We handed the torches to dumb and dumbest, and I should have known we were dead right their. In a strange way, I am almost glad that she dropped the torch. It just makes my first vote all the more easier.

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

Day 3:

PAGAKORANAMU CAMP:

JESSE’S THOUGHTS ON GOING TO TRIBAL COUNCIL:

The mood in camp today is pretty low, we didn’t even do the radio show this morning. We lost the challenge yesterday, and the true reality of our situation has set in. We have to vote someone out of here tonight. I am really not looking forward to tonight at all. As for my decision, I am torn between two people. There is someone I want to vote for who has just bugged me to death, that being Alex, and there is someone that I feel I need to vote off in order to keep the tribe strong, that being Chrissy. To be totally honest, I probably won’t make up my mind until I take the cap off the pen.

THELMA ON THE UP COMING TRIBAL COUNCIL:

As far as tonight’s Tribal Council is concerned, all I really have to say is… thank you Chrissy. I say that because, if not for her screw up on the challenge yesterday, I would most definitely be leaving tonight. I am at least 30 years older than everyone else on this team, and I don’t care how unprejudiced you think you are, an age difference like that stands out. So… I can’t say it enough, thank you Chrissy. If nothing else you have guaranteed that I will not be the first person voted off. Thank you Chrissy, thank you very much.

Claire, Thelma, and Janet stood off in a bush looking for fruit. “I am just saying that I won’t vote for her. It is a personal thing, I will vote for Alex before I vote for Chrissy,” explained Janet.

“You all know how I feel about Alex,” insisted Claire.

“I won’t lie to you, Janet. I think Chrissy should go. Sure, Alex drives me nuts, but Chrissy has made so many mistakes out here,” insisted Thelma.

“Alex is off with the guys getting fire wood, and you know what he is telling them. He is over there constantly reminding them about Chrissy. We’ve all heard him, he does not want a woman on this tribe. If Alex gets his way and Chrissy goes tonight, we are at a 4-3 disadvantage,” explained Claire.

“I guess you do have a point, and rest assured I will be next. I guess we could convince Chrissy to join us, but who can we get for a fifth?” asked Thelma.

“I don’t know. I know Jack doesn’t like Alex, but does he hate him enough to vote him off?” asked Janet.

Later on, Jack and Alex were off playing Scrabble, Alex’s luxury item. “Take it off the board, Alex,” insisted Jack.

“You can’t prove that isn’t a word,” replied Alex.

“Z-a-x-l-e? That is not a word and you know it,” insisted Jack.

“I tried to warn you Jack, he cheats,” insisted Thelma as she walked passed them. Then she went to Claire and said, “You really do have to see this.”

“What?” asked Claire.

“Alex takes Scrabble a bit too seriously. He has been over there for 15 minutes trying to convince Jack that z-a-x-l-e zaxle is a word that comes down from the ancient Greek meaning canoe,” informed Thelma.

“Are you serious?” asked Claire.

“He also wants us to start using the word in casual conversation. I didn’t feel like arguing, so I thought I would come over here and tell you about how Alex and Ray zaxled their brains out in the challenge yesterday,” responded Thelma.

“I don’t believe it, he is actually worse then my husband. You would not believe some of the words he has tried to get away with over the years,” informed Claire. Then they walked back over to Alex and Jack.

“Okay fine, but two can play that game,” insisted Jack.

“Wait a minute, wyxtu? What is that?” demanded Alex.

“It is a perfectly valid word borrowed from Hindi, and it means tired,” insisted Jack.

“If that is a valid word, use it in a sentence,” replied Alex.

“You want me to use it in a sentence, I will. After a long day in my zaxle, my arms get very wyxtu,” retorted Jack.

Immediately Claire burst out laughing. When she finally regained composure she said, “I apologize, but that was just too perfect.”

Just then Ray and Jesse walked up to them. “Whose brilliant idea was it to leave Chrissy behind earlier?” asked Raymond.

“What do you mean?” asked Jack.

“I just thought you would like to know, that can of peaches that we saved for tonight, gone,” informed Jesse. Instantly the group ran to Chrissy.

“Chrissy, where is the can of peaches I put next to the frying pan?” asked Jack.

“I ate them,” informed Chrissy.

“At least she’s confessing,” intervened Alex.

“Confessing! I was hungry, so I had some peaches! What’s the big deal?” asked Chrissy.

“Chrissy, those peaches were tonight’s dinner!” explained Jack.

“I didn’t know!” insisted Chrissy.

“Didn’t I make an announcement to everyone this morning that the can of peaches next to the frying pan was tonight’s dinner?” asked Jack.

“I don’t remember!” exclaimed Chrissy.

“How convenient,” sneered Alex.

“I was hungry, the peaches were right there! I don’t know, it was like this voice in my head kept saying…”

“’Gee I can see for miles in here!’ So, you heard this voice, you ate the peaches, thus allowing for the further starvation and/or death of your other seven tribe members! HAVE I LEFT ANYTHING OUT!” asked Alex.

“I’m sorry, okay!” insisted Chrissy.

“Now apologize to Jesse, you took his food too! Apologize to Raymond, you took his food! Apologize to Claire and Thelma, you took their food!” insisted Alex.

“I’m sorry everyone!” insisted Chrissy. Alex walked away.

“I don’t know what to say, Chrissy. I am a little disappointed,” informed Jack.

“Jack…”

“Do you have any idea how many times I have tried to defend you today? And now this. I just want you to know that you have put me in a very difficult position,” explained Jack. Then he walked away. Ray and Jesse followed behind.

“Don’t say it Ray,” insisted Jack.

“I like Chrissy too, but I have to agree with Ray and Alex now. She is bringing down the team,” explained Jesse.

“The girls told me they wanted to vote Alex off, and quite frankly, if I have to listen to one more BMW story I will probably cut off my ears,” insisted Jack.

“Alex is driving me nuts too, but I think he may have a point. If we want a strong team, Chrissy has to go,” explained Jesse.

“Chrissy is a friend of mine. You have family on the other tribe. If they were here, would you turn on them?” asked Jack.

“That is a bad argument, my family would not steal food,” responded Jesse.

“I have family on the other tribe who would steal food, and I would not hesitate to vote them off,” informed Ray. “All I am saying is if you decide to keep Alex for three more days, you will be safe for awhile. Keep Chrissy for three more days, and you might not be so safe.”

ALEX TALKS ABOUT TRIBAL COUNCIL:

Why don’t you just drown yourself Chrissy? It would be so much faster. As if screwing up on the challenge wasn’t enough. She just keeps making it easier for me to write her name down tonight. Today was not a good day to steal food Chrissy. So, so stupid.

CLAIRE ON TRIBAL COUNCIL:

I am very nervous about tonight. Tonight’s vote could very easily determine my future with this tribe. The ladies and I as far as I know are still planning to vote Alex off. I am predicting Alex, Raymond, and Jesse will try to get Chrissy out. The key vote here is Jack. Jack is a friend to Chrissy, and he and Alex have not gotten along since the beginning. I mean, they have fought over the fire, they have fought over shelter, they have fought over Scrabble. I could go on forever. Then Chrissy ate the peaches, and that was the only time out here that Jack and Alex have agreed on anything. So I don’t know what will happen. I just know it will be an interesting Tribal Council.

JACK ON THE UP COMING VOTE:

Chrissy is almost like a daughter. I love her, but sometimes she drives me nuts. I was more than willing to vote for Alex tonight. Then came the peaches incident. Now I have everyone pressuring me, not to mention Ray threatening to vote me out at the next Tribal Council. So I have a huge decision to make. I can keep myself alive tonight, but it would mean voting Chrissy off. I never expected to be a swing vote, at least not this early.

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

WHO'S NEXT?

This is your chance to interact with this piece. Let's see how good you are at predicting. Who do you think will be voted off next? All I will tell you is that it is one of the following:

Alex, even the men are sick of him
Chrissy, she has made too many costly errors
Jack, his indecisiveness may cost him allies on both sides

[x3 Taylor x3]

**cheers** KEEP GOING KEEP GOING!!!

This is sooo entertaining!!

**Taylor (me) goes up to the voting table**

**holds up paper**

Alex.

[sinatrastar]

Chrissy

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

TRIBAL COUNCIL 1:

The tribe walked a three mile trail to a cliff overlooking a waterfall on which was set the Tribal Council. “As you enter, you will find a personalized torch. Take your torches and place them into the flame. We do this because fire represents life, these torches represent your life in this game. When your fire is out, so are you,” explained host Jeff Probst as they entered the Tribal Council. The tribe dipped their torches into the central fire pit, and then took their seats. “Welcome to your first Tribal Council. This is where you are held accountable for your actions. Those actions will either help you or hurt you. When you are called to vote, you will walk down the marked path to the voting confessional, right down in clear letters the name of the person you are voting for, state your reasons, and return. The person voted out will bring me their torch, and then walk to the final confessional where they can speak their piece for as long as they want. After that, their part in Survivor is done. Before we get to the vote, I want to ask if there is anyone here who will own up to the fact that this is tougher then they thought it would be? Jack, how do you respond to that?”

“It is hard, it is very hard. I am not even talking about basic survival. We have had some interpersonal conflicts arise over the past three days that are sure to affect the vote tonight, and to be honest I am still trying to make a decision,” explained Jack.

“Without a doubt this is a game that tests personal loyalties. Chrissy, I want to discuss yesterday’s Immunity Challenge. Your team had a bit of a lead on the other team, and then they passed the torch to you. What happened?” asked Jeff.

“I dropped the torch, even I know that. I blame the weather,” insisted Chrissy.

“You dropped the torch because of the weather?” asked Jeff.

“Yes, if it hadn’t been so hot yesterday my hands wouldn’t have been so sweaty,” explained Chrissy.

“I used to live with her Jeff, sometimes I can’t even figure her out,” added Jack.

“Obviously tonight’s vote is a big vote, because tonight someone will become the first person voted out of this series of Survivor. Alex, what types of strategies have come up today? There has to have been some,” asked Jeff.

“For me personally, it is not a question of strategy as much as it is a question of trust. Earlier today, I found out that one of my teammates was stealing food. When I found that out, it just made my decision all the more easier,” explained Alex.

“What about you, Janet? How do you respond to what Alex said about this question of trust?” asked Jeff.

“The person that Alex is talking about is Chrissy. I know Chrissy trusts me, and until she personally sets me on fire I will honor that trust. I won’t vote her off tonight, but if Chrissy does go, I’ll understand why,” explained Janet.

“It is time to vote. Alex, you’re up,” said Jeff.

Survivor: Alex
Votes: Blondie
Statement: A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Chrissy, you are the weakest link, goodbye.

Survivor: Chrissy
Votes: Alex
Statement: I was hungry. When you’re hungry you eat.

Survivor: Jesse
Votes: Chrissy
Statement: Back when my wife Rebecca was pregnant, she tried to trick me into going to this baby shower that my nieces and some of her friends were throwing for her. My youngest niece Michelle, who was around 4 at the time, was in on it. I bribed her with ice cream and she told me everything in five minutes. What’s my point? Michelle, you would have lasted longer than Chrissy. I didn’t want to do this because it has been fun having you around, but these little mistakes you keep making are hurting the team too much.

Survivor: Thelma
Votes: A.P.K.
Statement: Alex P. Keaton, I have never met a more stuck up, arrogant jerk in my life. A suit and tie on a camping trip? It doesn’t get much more snobby then that.

Survivor: Janet
Votes: A-l-i-c-k-$
Statement: Two reasons, I won’t vote for Chrissy, and I just don’t know why you are here. You don’t really enjoy camping, you’re not very social except for arguments, and from the stories you tell us it doesn’t even sound like you need the money. So why are you here?

Survivor: Raymond
Votes: Chrissy
Statement: You stole food from us today. I don’t think you can blame that on the weather.

Survivor: Claire
Votes: Alex
Statement: Reality check, and mate. That’s right Alex, you are about to loose to a bunch of girls. Come by my house and I’ll teach you how to play Scrabble some time.

Survivor: Jack
Votes:
Statement: I guess the only thing I have to say is you did this to yourself. You burned too many bridges too fast. Quite frankly, this is not a game you should be playing.

“I’ll tally the votes,” said Jeff is he went to retrieve the voting urn. “Once the votes are read, the decision is final. That person will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. I will read the votes. First vote … … [ I ] … … [Alex], … … [ I ] … … [Chrissy], … … [ I ] … … [Blondie] Chrissy, … … [ I ] … … [A.P.K.] initials Alex P. Keaton, two votes Alex two votes Chrissy. Come on, give me a challenge. … … [ I ] … … [Chrissy], … … [ I ] … … [A-l-i-c-k-$] Alex spelled phonetically with a dollar sign s, three votes Alex three votes Chrissy. Give it up people, you can’t stump me. … … [ I ] … … [Alex], … [ I ]… first person voted out of the Outback [Alex]. Alex, you need to bring me your torch,” said Jeff Probst. Alex took his torch and placed it in the hole. “Alex, the tribe has spoken.” Then he extinguished the flame.

“Your loss idiots,” said Alex as he left.

“That was a very confident statement by Alex as he was leaving. Could he be right? Only time will tell. You can take your torches and head back to camp,” said Jeff Probst as they gathered their packs and left for camp.

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

ALEX KEATON’S FINAL WORDS:

Well, my dad was right. He said that if I did this I would be the first person voted off. I would like to know who that fifth vote was, more than likely it was Jack. I think I know why, he probably saw me as a threat. Who would not see a genius like me as a threat? The other votes I know came from the girls who in typical female fashion through logic out the window and decided to make the tribe weaker by voting me out. I guess they couldn’t accept the fact that I was just naturally so much stronger, and I won’t back down from it because that is the truth. But like I said, your loss idiots.

IN THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF SIT-COM SURVIVOR:

Jack is forced to deal with his decision to vote off Alex rather than Chrissy.
Alliances begin to form at Taguchamburotu, but some are left feeling like outsiders.
A miscommunication could hurt Jack in a future Tribal Council.
Tempers flare between two Survivors after loosing a Reward Challenge.

15 remain, who will be the next to leave?

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

Episode 3 now complete up to Who's Next poll.

[IAlsoLoveRaymond]

After the long wait, Episode 3 is now complete.