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EricIdlefan
11-06-2003, 01:46 PM
This is from the syndicated 1993-1997 show "Kung Fu The Legend Continues" but put in "South Park". It's about four of the female police detectives on there. This is how I would describe them:

1. Captain Karen Simms, who took over for Captain Blasedell after he had to make amends with his past(when actor that played him Robert Lansing, died of cancer in 1994) is the Stan Marsh character. The straight man(or excuse me, straight woman) in the group. She lets the other three women take the credit and she is like a mother figure. But as she is friends with the other women, she has problems at home because her son, Todd, in the military school, is a spoiled rotten brat that gets and receives anything and everything he wants like cars, vacations, hanging out with his friends and drinking beer, among other things, much to the chargin of Karen. She is also the peacemaker and she tries to be the calm before the storm presence in both her 101st precinct and with her three female pals when things at home go awry. She can be funny but she leaves all the jokes to the other three.

2. Mary-Margaret Sklaney is the Kyle Brofisonki character. She is the smartest in the group and has degress in criminal justice, criminology, socialogy, pschology, Three BA's, One M.A, a MBA, & another degree in linguist as she speaks five languages. She graduated in the top five of her classes as both a Harvard, Yale, and Columbia graduates, all but one summa cum laude and the lastt one was magna cum laude. She is, like Kyle, Jewish. Everybody makes fun of her religion but that it doesn't bother her as it used to. Unlike Karen, who was an only child, Mary-Margaret has an younger sister, who loved to tell her older sister what to do when not only they were kids but in the pre-teens, teen & college years, & when she became a detective. She is a sargent after breezing through the exams like a walk in the park. She was, at once, considered a job with the DEA, but turn them flat down because one of the agents, Bogart, was a total jerk as she punched him in the mouth. She is always relied on by not only her three friends but everybody in the precinct on her intelligence and knowledge to solve things when others think that it is way beyond difficult, she sees things as a piece of cake and tries to do things right but slowly. She wants to make sure things function right the first time. Her parents are a source of embarassement when her outspoken father almost cancelled the 101st precincts Christmas play & party to protest when he found it offensive to jewish people. That isn't the only time he embarrased his oldest daughter but he then went on strike so that the poor can get money and benefits and stayed there for nearly three weeks, without little sleep, food, or taking a shower as he grew a beard. Almost everybody joined him in Chinatown but then they got what they were looking for. He then thought that the police department female detectives & cops should sue the male detectives & cops for sexual harrasement and gender and race discrimination. Although he means well, Mary-Margaret tries to defend her father, almost all the time relunctantly, but she wants to hide under a rock when he starts his protests ever since he did this as a little boy at six, he probably has attended over thousands and thousands of protests!! The ladies give Mary-Margaret a hard time about her dad and want to blame her instead of her dad(who is like Kyle's mother, Sheila)

EricIdlefan
11-06-2003, 06:32 PM
3. Jodi Powell would be the Eric Cartman character. If you think the other two women are bad, she is really the worse of all four ladies or better yet, all four of them combined. Like Karen, she is an only child but she was born in an orphanage and was raised by her adopted mother and couldn't find her natural parents or parent her gave her up for adopted after spending the first six years of her life in a catholic orphanage. Her mom loves to spoil her with everything she wants and if you think that Karen's son, Todd was spolied, Jodi is spoiled to the max. She gets her way, all the time, anytime. Whether it is for food, getting money, staying up way past her bedtime, can also curse not only at her mom but her three detective friends and she says the word that rhymes with suck(it's the sixth letter in the alphabet figure out!!) about 95% of the time. She also says very demeaning and makes fun of Mary-Margaret's jewish heritage and offended everybody in the temple one time with her putdowns while Mary-Margaret's nephew was there for his bar mitvah. She also takes great pleasure of riduculing Mary-Margaret's father and his activism. Mary-Margaret, despite not agreeing with her father's protests, reluctantly again defends her hippie Dad when Jodi makes snide and henious remarks, especially after Mary-Margaret's dad almost called the ACLU and the Southern Poverty Law Center in hopes of cancelling Christmas so that Hanukkah wouldn't be left out to dry. Jodi not only curses and makes unsensitive, derogotory, sexest, and cruel remarks that offends not only the cops at the 101 but her three friends. She is also a pig at eating. One time at the Christmas party that Detective Peter Caine, his wife, Jordan(I'll get to her after I do Jody) & their three children with the FBI(on friendly terms with the 101st) and the other cops where Jody got eight(that's right!! EIGHT) helpings of potato salad(Very Giganic porportions) and snacked on everything that was food like from the snacks(cakes, candies, chips, pies) veggies, sandwiches, ice cream, and drunk everything from cokes, beer, wine, vodka, wild turkeys, margaretas, you name it. The people were just so, so, thought that she was just a very, very, gross pig!! When she burped for about three long minutes, the whole precinct and bureau cleared out, trying to run out before Jody ate anything and drunk anything else, leaving, saying they had something to do and/or somewhere to go but really, honestly and truthfully, getting away from her as much as possible as she threw up on the Christmas cakes and as she took the food and drinks at Peter's insistance, Peter told his family "Remind me never to invite her to a party of any kind again after grossing people out." Detective Roger Chin was hit on many, many times by Jody's flirtings that he tries to either run away or hide her advances. First it was Peter, but then he got married and started a family of his own, and now it is Chin. The precinct, when she is off and/or going to the scene of the crime, can't stop talking about her rudeness, she has no manners, crudeness, and having no class whatsoever.

EricIdlefan
11-06-2003, 06:34 PM
Also, Karen, who has a crush on the sunglasses wearing, always wearing the same suit all the time, everyday, everytime, the normally and usually cool, calm, & collected Karen everytime he shows up, she throws up at the ground or at him because in a very, very, wierd way, it shows her love for him, in which he should figure out by now!!

EricIdlefan
11-07-2003, 01:23 AM
The last but definately not least, Jordan McGuire, who is the Kenny McCormack of the bunch. She, like Kenny, wears a orange parka and mumbles. We don't know what she is mumbiling about but if we showed people what she said in subtitles, we would be taken off the air in a heartbeat. Only her friends can understand her. She is the youngest detective or one of the youngest having join homocide from vice. She grew up poor and has an older sister, Jenna who is a year older but dumb as a rock and has to rely on poor Jordan to help you, much to Jordan's chargin. She mentions and hums songs that have to do with sweet loving(like the Chef in South Park, voiced by Isaac Hayes), and even though married to her police detective husband, Peter Caine, a shaolin cop and martial arts expert, and has three children, she is a big-time man-hungry woman, much to the chargin of her husband & kids. She onetime drunk a whole barrow of gasoline, ate fire, ate a snake ALIVE, and ate garbage. Her folks are also not as bright and dumb like a rock like her older sister because her mom is dyslexic and her father can't read and works at the dock near the 101st. Like Kenny, she dies in every episode. She was killed in many, many ways. She was dragged by a car, she got hit by cows & bulls, struck by lightening, had an arrow shot through her head, was electrocuted trying to get the electricity on by herself while her 101st lady detective friends were munching on cakes and pies and drinking cappacino and coffee, and microwaved in the oven. But no matter how many times she is killed, maimed, or decapitated, she always, comes back to life. Don't ask me why??

EricIdlefan
11-07-2003, 01:24 AM
Let me make a correction, she loves Kermit "Oh YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Griffith!!