How to terrorize a telemarketer...

[Chocoholic]

>10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer
>10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked
>because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems;
>my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died."
>9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their
>name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is
>located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their
>company for as long as necessary.
>8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you
>been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she
>tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
>7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends
>plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any
>friends... would you be my friend?"
>6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
>bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
>5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home arrest" and ask if they could
>bring you a case of beer and some chips.
>4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.
>When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your
>credit card number to a complete stranger.
>3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they
>will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the
>telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you
>say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The
>telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
>2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
>"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
>And first and foremost:
>1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD
>down.
>

[FOLrocks1]

LOL! Those are good ones! I like them! I will be doing some of them. Especially #3!

[KerriBerri687]

i love harassin telemarketers.....sooooooo much fun!! i always ask em if they sell matresses and yell @ em wen they say no or i pretend im realllllly old and make em repeat everything they say 38439284932 times!!! SO MUCH FUN! hehe i cant wait to try those out!

[vienna waits]

:lol: :happyface :lol: :happyface :lol: :happyface :lol:

[Kay Scarpetta]

:lol: I just tell them everyone has died here

[Babes_Cat]

Or do what my brothers do here..............

Peter says: (6 years old.) Lo siento no hablo ingles adios!
George says/does: (10 years old) Hold the fart machine up to the phone and presses the button everytime there is a apuse in the conversation.

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
Peter says: (6 years old.) Lo siento no hablo ingles adios!


Heh heh I tried that last time someone called here and it turned out the woman spoke spanish too. I was like "Oh damn NOW what am I supposed to do?"

[Babes_Cat]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


Heh heh I tried that last time someone called here and it turned out the woman spoke spanish too. I was like "Oh damn NOW what am I supposed to do?"

um.................... HANG UP!

[AllIWantIsYourClutch]

Kinda OT but......

Yesterday my mom's doctor called, only I thought it was a telemarketer cuz she pronounced our last name "Mick-in-tooosh" (it's spelled McIntosh, but pronounced Macintosh) and I handed my mom the phone and I yelled really loud, "It's someone looking for Sandy Mick-in-toosh!" and I know she totally heard me....

[tonicapollo]

i love number three it's old but it's the best...

my brother (21) said if they try to sell you something try to sell them a porno flick.. lol that's pretty funny you should here what they say and make sure to ask them for there credit card number ok:lol: :wave: :happyface :crazy: :lol:

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
um..... HANG UP!

That..... could work.

[*Marilyn Monroe*]

my dad always says that they're in spain and tells them to call them back.

[Liza]

lol, thanks for these. Being on a college campus we get telemarketers ALL the time! This is going to be fun! :lol:

[Babes_Cat]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


That..... could work.

That....... should work.

That........ will work!

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
That....... should work.

That........ will work!

:rolleyes:

[Czas na Zywiec]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


:rolleyes:

Just slip into another language. If you don't know any others, try Pig Latin!

[Divisionbabe05]

Aight this is what we do when we want to mess with em. We answer it and if they are like can we interest u in blah blah blah u just say "um hold on a sec I must consult" so u leave em on the phone for like half an hour and then come back(they WILL still be there cuz thats just how pathetic they are) and either say "it took alot of thinking, but we feel that we arent ready for what you're offering us at this time" or(and this is my personal favorite) come back and say "yea lemme get a large pizza with everythang on it..." and they will say "im sry we arent a pizza company" and then u flip out and be like "then why the hell have I been on the phone with you?!" and hang up...great stuff!

[Babes_Cat]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


:rolleyes:

Ummmm no! Only *I* can rool my eyes @ people! :p

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
Ummmm no! Only *I* can rool my eyes @ people! :p

Um no because without me pointing out your TYPO on "Roll", there would be no "Rooling of the eyes" so I can rool my eyes at whoever the hell I would like.

Have a splendid noche :rolleyes:

[Ags2000]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


Heh heh I tried that last time someone called here and it turned out the woman spoke spanish too. I was like "Oh damn NOW what am I supposed to do?"

That's when you say, "Sorry, I don't speak spanish either." and then hang up :)


D

[julian bozo]

Girls & Women,
Tell them you are the cleaning lady or the baby sitter & you really don't handle your employers affairs.

Boys & Men,
You are the Butler or a visting nephew & you don't handle your employer's or Uncle's affairs.

If that doesn't work,
(This is dedicated to you Justin Wilhight)

That your are a ailen. Also you just invaded the house & if they call back you will zap them into Outer Space forever.

[Babes_Cat]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


Um no because without me pointing out your TYPO on "Roll", there would be no "Rooling of the eyes" so I can rool my eyes at whoever the hell I would like.

Have a splendid noche :rolleyes:

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[FOLrocks1]

I do my Ms. Swan voice (from MadTV) and I act REALLY stupid! It is soooooo funny! I do it to anyone that calls!

[peter may]

One of your telemarketer's lines was a line LIFTED FROM AN EPISODE OF SEINFELD.

"I guess you dont want people calling u when at home".

FESS UP!!!

[Kristina]

ask em if they're naked! :lol:

[Czas na Zywiec]

Originally posted by FOLrocks1
I do my Ms. Swan voice (from MadTV) and I act REALLY stupid! It is soooooo funny! I do it to anyone that calls!

OMG! I LOVE Miss Swan! I tell you eveyting! Okay? Nobody home! :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
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Happy, Caitlin?!

[Babes_Cat]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: 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Happy, Caitlin?!

Um.... no!

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Happy Karli?

[Kristina]

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Happy you two?

[Babes_Cat]

Oh wow not cool! Everyone's taking my "eyes!" :crying:

[Czas na Zywiec]

Not everyone.

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I'm using tongues!

[Babes_Cat]

I won't ask where they've been though!

[Czas na Zywiec]

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
I won't ask where they've been though!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Babes_Cat]

Originally posted by Eric Matthews


:lol: :lol: :lol:

;)

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
Oh wow not cool! Everyone's taking my "eyes!" :crying:

you'll get over it

[Babes_Cat]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


you'll get over it

Thanks for showing me you love me! ;)

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
Thanks for showing me you love me! ;)

Your welcome.

[Babes_Cat]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


Your welcome.

:rolleyes:

[Czas na Zywiec]

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl


:rolleyes:

Here we go again w/ the rOOling eyes! :lol:

:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p

[FOLrocks1]

Everyone says i sound just like Ms. Swan! She is my fav on Mad! Alex is a funny actress!

[Czas na Zywiec]

Originally posted by FOLrocks1
Everyone says i sound just like Ms. Swan! She is my fav on Mad! Alex is a funny actress!

I have a lot of her sketches recorded and and I have a LOT of her lines memorized.

I especially love "You know, the monkey in the bush and the johnny go go climb, and the monkey in the bush!" Or "The secret code.........123451234512345123451234512345.....8!" :lol: :lol: :lol:

And of course "Oh no.......is a Scooby Doo on the Plane! Noooooo!!!!!!!" :lol: :lol: :lol:

And you're right about Alex, I think she is a great actress, but did you know they had a lot of controversy over her portraying Ms. Swan? It was horrible.

[Babes_Cat]

Originally posted by Eric Matthews


Here we go again w/ the rOOling eyes! :lol:

:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p

Here we go again with the whole sticking out of the tounge! :lol:

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[FOLrocks1]

Originally posted by Eric Matthews


did you know they had a lot of controversy over her portraying Ms. Swan? It was horrible.

Why did they? What was the big deal? The foregin part?

[Czas na Zywiec]

Originally posted by FOLrocks1


Why did they? What was the big deal? The foregin part?

They said she made fun of Asian people and portrayed them as dumb. She said she was just portraying a person who was similiar to her grandmother, but they didn't believe her. That's why in season 6, there was only one sketch w/ her in it, but I htink something happened cause I see a lot of stuff w/ her and Starbuck's! So they probably dropped it realizing it was a false assumption.

[FOLrocks1]

Originally posted by Eric Matthews


They said she made fun of Asian people and portrayed them as dumb. She said she was just portraying a person who was similiar to her grandmother, but they didn't believe her. That's why in season 6, there was only one sketch w/ her in it, but I htink something happened cause I see a lot of stuff w/ her and Starbuck's! So they probably dropped it realizing it was a false assumption.

I kinda figured what that was for, and i did hear that she was playing her grandmother