Yo Mamma Jokes Archive

[JT]

What are some of your favorite Yo Mamma jokes?
Here are some of mine:

Yo Mamma face so flat she spit syrup.
Yo Mamma so old she was a waitress at The Last Supper.
Yo Mamma so fat when she put on a raincoat people yell TAXI! at her.

Now y'all post some!

[nancysbiggestfan]

Yo mamma is so fat, when she wears a red coat all the kids yell "Jell-o!".

there is more but i cant think of 'em right now

[Meg07945]

yo mammas so fat, the last time she say 902101, it was on the scale
yo mammas so fat, when she went to the ocean, the wales started singing "we are family"
yo mammas so dumb, she brought a spoon to the superbowl
yo mammas so dumb, she failed a blood test

[°Bubbly Blonde°]

*Yo mama's so dumb she got stabbed in a shoot out.
*Yo mama's so country, she thought that an elevator was a mobile home
*Yo mama's so fat, when a bus hit her, she said, "Who through that rock"
*Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her clothes in the street.
*yo mama's so ugly, her own shadow ran away from her
*yo mama's so ugly, even Bill Clinton won't sleep with her
*yo mama's so old, her memory is in black and white
*yo mama's so old, she has all the apostles in her little black book
*yo mama's so old, she walked into the antique store, and they kept her
*yo mama's so old, she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party
*yo mama's so old, Jarrasic Park brought back memories
*yo mama's so stupid, it takes her 2 hours to watch "60 minutes."
*yo mama's so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her intelligence, you would get back change
*yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she would be a jumbo jet
*yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back
*yo mama's so fat, she won't wear a G-String, cause she wears an A B C D E F G-String
*yo mama's so fat she wears the size "OMG, it's coming toward us!"
*yo mama's so fat, she made Big Bird look like Rubber Duck
*yo mama's so big, she climbed Mt. Fugi in one step
*yo mama's so big, she fills the tub, then turns the water on
*yo mama's so hairy, when she spreads her legs she goes "Lets go Bush Gardens
*yo mama's so ugly, even the Rice Krispies won't talk to her."

[Kay Scarpetta]

LOL most people posted my favorites already. But here is one I find quite amusing...

Yo mama's so poor when your friend asked "what's for dinner" she stuck up her feet and said "corns"

[°Bubbly Blonde°]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever
Yo mama's so poor when your friend asked "what's for dinner" she stuck up her feet and said "corns"
:lol: :lol:

[Wild Child]

~*Yo mama's so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!!

~Yo mama's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.
~Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.
~Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
~Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
~Yo mama's so stupid, I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it.
~Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
~Yo mama's so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.
OK I'll stop now lol

[Warm & Fuzzy]

Yo mama so fat, when she went to the laudromat to have her socks clean, the people said, "Sorry, we don't do bed-sheets.."

[Warm & Fuzzy]

Oh yeah! Here's another one...


Yo Mama so cheap,
when a guest rings the broken door bell,
she goes "DING DONG."

[Meg07945]

yo mammas so stupid, she had you!

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally posted by Meg07945
yo mammas so stupid, she had you!

:rotflmao:....

Yo Mamma's so dumb, she called me to get my phone number!!!

These are quite amusing

[JT]

Here's some more:

<Yo Mamma's so fat, she has to put her lipstick on with a pain roller>
<Yo Mamma's so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund>
<Yo Mamma's so old, when someone told her to act her age she rolled over and died>
<Yo Mamma's so fat, she went to the prom with the Kool-Aid Man>
<Yo Mamma's so fat, she's on both sides of the Family Tree>
<Yo Mamma's so fat when she walked into Science class the teacher said "Help!Help! Jupiter escaped!!">
<Yo Mamma's so poor, when she found a cardboard box she threw away a can and said "Movin' on up!">
<Yo Mamma's so old, she's in Jesus' yearbook>
<Yo Mamma's so stupid, she needed to sharpen her pencil for a drug test>
<Yo Mamma's so stupid, the little idea light bulb on top off her head burnt out>
<Yo Mamma's so fat, she uses the golden arches as sunglasses>
<Yo Mamma's so fat, she thought an AstroVan was a Hot Wheel>
<Yo Mamma's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone>
<Yo Mamma's so stupid, she had a peephole added to a see-through door>
<Yo Mamma's so ugly, her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her>
<Yo Mamma's so old, she knew Burger King when he was Burger Prince>
<Yo Mamma's so old, she,Fred Flintstone and Wilma went on The Springer Show together>
<Yo Mamma's so poor, she put some TicTacs on lay-a-way>
<Yo Mamma's so stupid, she thought the Jackson 5ive had seven members>
<Yo Mamma's so stupid, she thought Charlie's Angels wore halos>
<Yo Mamma's so stupid, she said "The 6 o'clock News comes on at 5>

Whew!

[Kay Scarpetta]

Yo mammas so dumb, when she went to the airport, she saw a sign that said "Airport- Left" she turned around and went home.

Yo mammas so dumb, she didn't know when the War of 1812 was.

[ILuvJoandBlair]

The only one I know is...
yo mamma is so poor, when I lit a cigarette in her house she jumped up on the table and said: "clap your hands, stump your feet, praise the Lord, we've got heat."

[JT]

Yo Mamma's so stupid, she went to the movies and the guy said you gotta be 17 or over so she went get 16 friends.

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally posted by ILuvJoandBlair
The only one I know is...
yo mamma is so poor, when I lit a cigarette in her house she jumped up on the table and said: "clap your hands, stump your feet, praise the Lord, we've got heat."

:rotflmao:...

Yo mammas so slow, that when God was handing out brains, she thought he said "trains" and asked for a slow one

[JT]

Yo Mamma's So Stupid When She Was In A Church Play The Guy Playing Jesus Said "Let There Be Light" So She Hit Switch

[JT]

Yo Mamma's So Fat When She Took Communion She Took Two Helpings

[Hollow]

Yo mamma's so poor, I walked into her house and i was already in the backyard

Yo mamma's so fat, she put on a yellow jacket and the kids said "Hey the schoolbus is coming!"

[Ags2000]

Yo mamma's so stupid, she asked me what kind of jeans I had on I told her Guess she said Levi.

D

[XoVanillaRain90oX]

-Yo mamma's so stupid, I caught her looking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side

-Yo mamma's so stupid, she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog

-Yo mamma's so ugly, when she went to enter in an ugly contest they said, "Sorry no professionals!!"

-Yo mamma's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate".

-Yo mamma's so fat, she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops

-Yo mamma's so fat, her favorite dress is a tent

-Yo mamma's so fat, the Department of Transportation makes her wear a "Caution, Wide Turn" sign.

-Yo mamma's so fat, shes got more nooks and crannies than an english muffin

-Yo mamma's so old, when she went to school, there was no history class!

-Yo mamma's glasses are so thick,when she looks at a map she can see people wavin!

-Yo mamma's so fat the only thing keeping her from Jenny Craig is the door!

-Yo mammas so fat, when she sat on a quarter a booger popped out of George Washingtons nose!!

-Yo mamma's so fat she has more rolls than a bakery

-Yo mamma's so fat that she fell in love and broke it!

-Yo mamma's so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, LA, Chicago...

Yo mamma's so fat, shes on both sides of the family!!

:D:Dhehehe:D:D

~*Lisa

( I hate to take one out cuz my mom said it wasnt good :crazy: )

[Hollow]

Originally posted by Division_Fan_Lisa
-Yo mamma's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate".
I know someone that does that :rolleyes:

[Bootsy Whoosh]

Ok, I don't know any "yo momma" jokes other than ones that have been mentioned already, but I do remember a "yo momma" song that we had to sing at camp (the one and only time I went).

It went:

"Yo momma don't wear no socks
I was there when she took them off
She threw them at the bed
And now your dad is dead

"Yo momma don't wear no socks
I was there when she took them off
She threw them at the tree
And now the dog refuses to pee

"Yo momma don't wear no socks
I was there when she took them off
She threw them over the fence
We haven't seen the neighbors since

"Yo momma don't wear no socks
I was there when she took them off
She threw them at the floor
And all the cockroaches moved next door......"

and so on and so on and so on...there are a ton of verses, and you can make up your own. Does anyone else remember this song or any other verses?

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally posted by goddess936

I know someone that does that :rolleyes:

OMG ferreal? :lol:

[Hollow]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


OMG ferreal? :lol:
Ya and it's funny when you try to talk to her she says "Shut up I'm concentrating!" lol

[XoVanillaRain90oX]

Originally posted by goddess936

Ya and it's funny when you try to talk to her she says "Shut up I'm concentrating!" lol

:lol: :happyface :lol: :happyface :lol: :happyface

[FOLrocks1]

That have to be more!

[Meg07945]

Originally posted by Bootsy Whoosh
Ok, I don't know any "yo momma" jokes other than ones that have been mentioned already, but I do remember a "yo momma" song that we had to sing at camp (the one and only time I went).

It went:

"Yo momma don't wear no socks
I was there when she took them off
She threw them at the bed
And now your dad is dead

"Yo momma don't wear no socks
I was there when she took them off
She threw them at the tree
And now the dog refuses to pee

"Yo momma don't wear no socks
I was there when she took them off
She threw them over the fence
We haven't seen the neighbors since

"Yo momma don't wear no socks
I was there when she took them off
She threw them at the floor
And all the cockroaches moved next door......"

and so on and so on and so on...there are a ton of verses, and you can make up your own. Does anyone else remember this song or any other verses?

How does the tune go?!

[Czas na Zywiec]

*Yo Mama's so dumb, she got hit by a parked car.

*Yo Mama's so fat, she uses a VCR as a beeper.

*Yo Mama's so ugly, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone.

*Yo Mama so stupid, when you were born she saw the umbilical cord and said, “Hey it comes with cable!”

*Yo Mama's so fat, she got locked in the supermarket and starved to death.

[Hollow]

~Yo mammas so ugly she went outside w/her dog and she sang "We are family!!!!" :music:

[Sitcomwriter]

You momma so dumb she has a brown bum (And that's NOT meant to be racist BTW LOL)

[Sitcomwriter]

It was meant in a "Poopy humor sence" LOL!

[Czas na Zywiec]

Originally posted by Sitcomwriter
You momma so dumb she has a brown bum (And that's NOT meant to be racist BTW LOL)

I might not know what that is (Can someone please explain) But it sounds really mean! And if you don't want to, then I understand.

[Czas na Zywiec]

Originally posted by Eric Matthews


I might not know what that is (Can someone please explain) But it sounds really mean! And if you don't want to, then I understand.

Okay after a month of reading it, I found out what it meant, and yes it is racist. Good thing he's gone now though. I just hope the rumor doesn't come true.

[°Bubbly Blonde°]

Originally posted by Eric Matthews


Good thing he's gone now though. I just hope the rumor doesn't come true.
What rumor?

[Czas na Zywiec]

Originally posted by tcbubblegrl

What rumor?

He IMed Jenny and told her he might get unbanned pretty soon. :( But I dunno if it's true. He does get to come on here and read though, but not post. It's only a matter of time.....