Why I lost my faith and converted.

[Dina Sylvia Li]

My big brother was a very talented piano player. He played across the US to many music halls. We were both Christians. A few years ago he was killed in a car accident by a dunk driver. I took time to reevaluate things. I came to the conclusion that there is no god, Jesus, just the universe working by itself. Im not like other Atheists who push their beleifs on others. Everyone is free to believe what they want.

[Elvis Fonzie Dean]

I can see why you'd believe that. I'm agnostic. I don't have enough knowledge to know why things like that happens. Not even close.

[MrCleveland]

As a Christian...man/woman has times of doubts and trials, trust me I was angry at God the last couple of years shaking my fist rather than praying.

I do believe in God, and I also know that God gave us the power of Free Will, he knows that not everyone will befriend him and they'll be a stranger to him.

PS-I'm trying NOT to be Self-Righteous...I'm just being realistic.

[Crimson and Clover]

My big brother was a very talented piano player. He played across the US to many music halls. We were both Christians. A few years ago he was killed in a car accident by a dunk driver. I took time to reevaluate things. I came to the conclusion that there is no god, Jesus, just the universe working by itself. Im not like other Atheists who push their beleifs on others. Everyone is free to believe what they want.

Im sorry you lost your brother. I dont have a religion. I dont claim Atheist or Agnostic, I just dont care.

[Dina Sylvia Li]

Thank You Mary for understanding. Thats all I ask, not here to convert anyone,I have seen the light and theres no turning back.

[tiredmike59]

i didnt know atheists pushed their beliefs, i thought only religious people did.

[adultescent]

I find it very unfortunate Satan was able to exploit such a tragic accident and turn you away from God, but, like you said, you're free to come to your own conclusions...

[Dina Sylvia Li]

I find it very unfortunate Satan was able to exploit such a tragic accident and turn you away from God, but, like you said, you're free to come to your own conclusions... Atheism has nothing to do with Satan. We also believe he never existed either. Hope you dont find this rude, but you need to look up atheist on wikipedia.

[adultescent]

Atheism has nothing to do with Satan. We also believe he never existed either. Hope you dont find this rude, but you need to look up atheist on wikipedia.

err, I get where you're coming from as an atheist, it's just our perspectives here are completely different... I like Wikipedia, but it's not a reliable source for information...

[Brad]

First, I'm very sorry that you lost your brother at such a young age. No one should ever have to go through that kind of horror. My heart goes out to you.

But I do have to say that for someone who doesn't "push her beliefs" on others, you sure talk about your Atheism a lot. It's in your signature, it's above your avatar, and you started a thread about it.

To me (a former avowed Atheist), it seems counter-productive to not believe in a deity or any organized religion, yet talk about it constantly. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but that seems like pushing your beliefs.

Also, that whole "deal with it" thing: deal with what!? At the end of the day, this is a board full of people who like to watch TV, not the Michael W. Smith fan club. Nobody here is going to persecute you because you don't believe in God.

[Marvo301]

Atheism has nothing to do with Satan. We also believe he never existed either. Hope you dont find this rude, but you need to look up atheist on wikipedia.
It's a valid request on your part to have other people understand and accept what you believe. (or don't believe) But you can't expect people to do that if your not willing to understand and respect what they believe. Respect is a two way street.

[Stuck In The '70's]

I am very sorry about your brother. It isn't fair that you had to go through all that pain at your young age. It sounds to me that you're angry with God or just in general because of what happened. That's understandable. Nobody here is going to judge you if you're an athiest. Just don't condemn others for what they believe. I don't belong to any religion. I do believe in God but I admit sometimes it is hard. Nothing in life is easy.

[MrCleveland]

I'm very sorry that your brother got into a tragic accident and like I said, many people who face a tragedy like that lose faith and get discouraged. I've been tempted many times with this, I even made pages on here about it too.

I've known many people who were faithful and became atheists. Someone told me that if there is a God when he dies then...oh well....

But luckily, you live in America and you have Free Will. In other countries you're this religion or you're dead! (This is mostly in Islamic Countries).

[Retro4Life]

My deepest condolences on the death of your brother. No one should have to go through something that horrible; I certainly can see how that would make th the world seem random, cruel and pitiless.

I don't have the answer to much of anything. Like Sonny (Stuck in the 70's) I don't really have a religion of my own (Mom was Methodist, and that's the church I went to as a kid), but I do believe in a Higher Power or Purpose or Intelligence, whatever you want to term It. I also believe in the afterlife.

Is that logical? I don't know. You either believe or you don't, there isn't any way to convince someone. I will say that, at 21, you are likely to live a lot longer and go through a lot more experiences. None of them will ever make you forget your brother or the pain you went through with his death, but they may provide a different perspective on the larger picture. I was raised Christian but I don't think until you are a bit older and independent that you really form your own beliefs, and don't just kind of go along with what you grew up with.

Hang in there. You certainly don't have to believe in God, but it's important to believe in something.

[Dina Sylvia Li]

Its nice too see that alot of people here "get it" as to why I turned Atheist. If at all possible now that I got this off my chest, I wish for the topic to be locked. This place has a nice bunch of people and I dont want to say something that might hurt them.

[Hollywood Rock Chic]

I, personally, am indifferent on what an individual believes in. If you are a good person, and treats others well; to me, that is the most important (rather if you believe in God or not). I am former ardent Atheist, but the older I become, the more I believe. :)

[HuntingtonM15]

But I do have to say that for someone who doesn't "push her beliefs" on others, you sure talk about your Atheism a lot. It's in your signature, it's above your avatar, and you started a thread about it.


Yeah, I found that to be incredibly bizarre, to say the least.

[ABlairican Pie]

Actually, a thread gets locked by the moderator when it either becomes too disruptive or if it reaches the 1,000 post limit.

But back to your comments, it seems like you have some unresolved anger and pain issues about your brother's death. That is very understandable. I lost my mother to cancer six and a half years ago, and for months, I was very
angry at God. I never lost faith in him, but I was very angry and disappointed in him. Eventually, I learned to be at peace--sort of.

You say the universe is just one machine that operates on its own, without God or anything else. So if it's all one big machine, what does that make us as human beings? Are we machines as well? Just automatons of flesh, blood and proteins? What is death? Just all part of "the machine", nothing to be too concerned about? What is life? What is the meaning of it all, if it's just one big machine?

If God does not exist, and the universe is just one big machine, then why do you feel such pain and anger over the loss of your brother? Because it does matter. Life does matter. Your faith in God and Christ mattered at one point,
it's not easy to act like it's "no big deal" when you have the painful loss of someone close to you.

The Bible--and the whole entire history of man--deals explicitly with how people, especially people of faith, wrestled with the problem of suffering, death, and tragedy. When you read the story of Job, you get a very explicit picture of a good man who endured horrible catastrophes and illness. He repeatedly received news that his sons and daughters were killed in unimaginable disasters. On top of this, he was soon afflicted with painful boils
to the point where he cursed the day he was born--and came very close to cursing God. His friends urged him to confess some secret sin which supposedly brought this on, but he insisted he was innocent. Why was God doing this to him, a good and just God--why?? Finally God spoke to him and
demanded him to answer all the questions regarding nature and its wonders--did Job have all the answers to the mysteries of the universe? Was he in the right to question God? Finally Job replied and said that yes, he did not know everything in his finite mind. God eventually blessed him by restoring his health and giving him more sons and daughters.

So God is not immune to the problem of pain and suffering in this world. The questions are plentiful, very painful questions, of course. Maybe this event with the death of your brother may help you understand God's purposes a little more. As Christians, we are not guaranteed pain-free lives, free from the perplexing questions and contradictions and ironies that confront us every day.

Even I have problems understanding God's will. I have issues about things going on in my life in these past few weeks.

[catlover79]

I, too, have had my moments of extreme anger and disillusionment at God - most notably in 1995, after my grandmother (who I was very, very close to) died of cancer. I was just shattered. Nearly 16 years later, my heartbreak over losing her has never really quite subsided. I can't tell you how many times as the years have passed that I wish she was sitting beside me and discussing growing up, the first job, etc. and ask for her godly counsel. She was the sweetest, kindest woman I ever knew - and totally devoted to her Lord. She loved Him with all her heart.

This past year and a half, I have struggled with many issues: unemployment, the sudden death of my uncle, a horrific car accident and a severe knee injury as a result of the accident. Not to mention I have suffered from depression and panic disorders since I was a child. So I totally understand where you are coming from.

Nowhere in the Bible does is say that being followers of Christ will be a cakewalk. It's a walk, for sure, but it can be rocky and steep - not to mention scary. But I believe that all things will work out for good. That's what I hold onto, anyway.

[Dina Sylvia Li]

Catlover79, I could be wrong on this, but Im sensing an Atheist in you wanting to come out. When you are ready add me on facebook, my name there is Sylvia Chang Li. Its ok Catlover, dont be afraid.:)