Robert Tilton
12-11-2001, 09:50 AM
Every now and then a program comes on TV that does just like a Sitcom w/out even thinking about it! In this case I'm talking about Telethons for Christian Television.
This fundraiser occured a few weeks ago and I got the bright idea to type while it broadcasted. Right ambitious that. Anyhow, you'll get a Keeky Blast as Greg said on Brady Bunch for the Comedy is Excellent! so Let's Begin:
I didn't want this to slip by you but in just a few days TBN or Trinity Broadcasting Network will have and is having:
Fall Praise a Thon!
Yes get your credit cards ready; this is for you. And if you still have time to run to Dallas TX, do so for its Really Good in Person...you gotta be there!
Time for Purkey singing...Mike Purkey that is.
Amen.
Tonight's Praise the Lord kicks it off w/Dean & Mary Brown (singers) hosting, Purkey singing (He preaches too), & a few others. Mom and Pop Winans I believe and a young lady named DeDe!
That's right! DeDe!?! did the singing. No other name but....well DeDe!?! Gave me a Buzz Right There.
But the star of tonight's program if you didn't see it already is:
John Avanzini.
This guy had one of my favorite lines from Praise a Thons past; I think they're gonna use him this year:
In the Name of Jesus I rebuke the Devil from off of them phones! You see the people didn't dial fast enough so he blamed the Devil that is Satan. And you thought David Wilkerson's seeing demons in the smoke of a Mylon Lefevre concert was interesting.
Don't know about Schambach yet, but I'm betting he's there w/the usuals. RW Schambach is a preacher who's into the 2000 $ Faith Promise, where if you give $ God'll bless you. He has now Stepped it Up to 3000 $!! One of his best sayings from past Praise a Thons:
The average person spends $20000 a Year on Cigarettes, which works out to a Carton a Day at current prices! Folk must be dropping like flies.
Don't forget to listen to the story about the boy w/the 28 Diseases that got healed at an AA Allen Meeting; its most impressive that.
But if you hear a story about a guy finding money in an oil filter under his old truck (or some such; he's got lots of em) THIS IS WHEN YOU HAVE TO MOVE!!! For the Waters are Troubled when it comes to Fundraising. Yea get your HAND ON THE DIAL....NOW!
Amen.
Waiting for Avanzini to give his message and boy was he hot tonight. Stand by; Purkey's finishing up his song:
Searching Searching
till I find Him
Changed my mind
Changed my heart
Got in my Feet!
Can't be beat
Anoit Me Sweet
Well I kept on searching
till I found
The King of Kings
Applause for that nice Jerry Lee Lewis like piano flourish at the end...he's kin to Swaggart you know.
Want a replica of an ancient Israel candle holder? It has the Star of David, the trademark fish symbol, and is a nice piece of pottery...just send 25$ a month or 250$ one time.
Dean Brown is talking...its starting. Nobody had ever told Dean about money...till he heard Avanzini Prosperity Plan. He's anoited and will change your destiny. No Demon of Debt.
Applause.
Brother John here:
Child of God 26 yrs of teaching Biblical finances
I'm gonna talk about Guaranteed Harvest.
Get ready.
Its not commerce or agriculture or seed company; its the Bible and I'm gonna show you.
Can't just go w/out manifesting...gotta get it.
God does not figure value the way we figure value.
We throw a buck in the plate..and
We spend billions on appraising on houses, insurance, etc...but
Child of God the Lord does it diff'rent.
How much would you ask God for a cow for He owns the cattle on 1000 hills.
Child of God.
Mark 12 Chapter Jesus.
He beheld how people cast money into treasury; looked at their heart. All the silver & gold be His.
I'm keeping a tally of Child of God's and Seeds. Cog BTW means Child of God; don't let it throw you. It get tiresome; yea to my Marrow that is Bones yea and the Knuckles writing it out. Carpal tunnel syndrone aside, its easier just to abbreviate it Because:
Believe me this preacher says it A LOT!
Amen.
Hear the Man of God...believe the Prophet... and you'll get the Harvest...you'll never forget it.
The woman gives & Jesus says to disciples:
Verily I say unto you: This woman has outgiven everyone.
Yes she has 2 mites but it was:
PRECIOUS!
The fatcats throw in the surplus ...mad money & they cast a little. But:
Child of God she gave of all her living.
Child of God.
The world says here but she said No I'm putting it into the Man of God.
He's talking about how giving an amount that's Precious can move the hand of God.
He's telling the Widow Woman story as per Elijah. Lots of evangelists use this on TV.
Child of God listen to me.
COG in a FAMINE 7 YRS OF DROUGHT! WE HAVE FUSSED ABOUT THE MEAL COOKIE BUT WHEN YOU'VE BEEN IN THE DESERT AND SOMEONE HANDS YOU WATER ITS MOST VALUABLE, BUT THE MAN OF GOD SAYS I WANT THE CAKE...ITS MY SON'S LAST MEAL SAID THE WIDOW WOMAN.
BUT THE PRECIOUS!!! SHE GAVE THE PRECIOUS!
Brother John was Yelling at the TV screen.
When a criminal is put to death his Last Meal is sacred..but the Death Angel is in the House and the man of God is getting the cake..the last meal
And the precious CAKE! SENDS GOD LIKE LIGHTNING. AND IT MOVES GOD!
Cog (Child of God) We're hung up in our thinking. God is not moved by the valuable COG get this.
Little single mothers going 2 the phone and outgive the fatcats cause its precious and
It MOVES GOD!
COG 2x
Call the # on the screen and value don't matter...it must go PRECIOUS. THE ANGELS GATHER AND JESUS WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU DESIRE.
HE OWNS EVERYTHING...IT DON'T MATTER..BUT WHEN YOU COME TO
PRECIOUS!!!!
There's a woman folk know more than Billy Graham..
the woman w/the alabaster box.
300 pence you could feed poor!
But she gave the precious COG
COG as I SPEAK TO YOU HEAR THIS! JESUS SAID LET HER ALONE. THIS IS A MEMORIAL FOR HER!
Brother John's getting excited.
Applause.
CHILD OF GOD DON'T WAIT GET ON THAT PHONE AND YOU HAVE TO MOVE!
Father Abraham. His voice just cracked:eek::D::eek:I think Brother John needs some water!
he tells where He gets his son Issac and is about to sacrifice Issac.
God moves to mountaintop and as the knife goes down
2 TRANSLATIONS LIVING AND AMPLIFIED SAYS:
NOW I KNOW YOU PUT ME 1ST.
The God of the Old Testament!
2000 yrs ago He gave his son and it was Precious! So God Moved. Amen..but wait 1 minute....?
If Osama Bin Laden calls out God have Mercy to me a sinner He'll save his soul. (I'm not holding my breath Amen.)
Cog.
Tells about Joseph in Egypt.
It seems to me the point is that the size of the gift doesn't matter? But it has to mean something sacrificial...like giving your last dime or whatever.
Bro John moves on.
COG
Jacob had his youngest son Benjamin at home...until Benjamin moved (to Joseph..meaning Jacob losing his son) God wouldn't move.
Just like you got $ hidden away in a jar or mattress or something
And you need to move it...by giving is that right?
Quite.
$10000 a night for Praise the Lord. (TBN's main program)
Who will give 10000? You'd go to the mailbox 4 x a day! (looking for a check I reckon)
Expectancy for the Harvest.
You'd give 1000 $ and God would get you another 1000 and the Harvest besides.
seed said 5x.
Seed
Seed
Seed
Seed
Seed (told you)
Psalms 126...Guaranteed Harvest.
If I gave 5000 $
Cog
YOU KNOW THE 2ND COMING OF JESUS IS RIGHT UPON US (HE MEANT THE RAPTURE)!!!!!!!
Bringing in the Sheaves!!! (Haven't heard that since Little House on the Prairie)
cog. I know where God is.
Thank God for all the finances
But for the 100 fold..save a child, save a marriage
cog
Your harvest is at the phone
DIAL THE #
Everytime the Precious MOVES!!!!!
Need a house
Get your boy or girl out of the mean secular schools
How much is precious?
YOU DECIDE..
cog cog cog get on the line
5000, 10000, one guy needs to give 100000 $
CHILD OF GOD IN THE NAME OF JESUS IF THE PRECIOUS MOVES EVERY REQUEST IS GRANTED!!! FINANCES! GETTING SAVED! A SMORGASBOARD OF BLESSING...BUT YOU MUST GIVE YOUR PRECIOUS..DON'T WAIT ANOTHER MINUTE.
Give something to this or that fundraiser but
When it comes to giving to God
Give to be precious
Rick Renner had a valuable art collection...and in tears he gave it all to God! He'd sold it and gave it all to God.
Glory to God.
Dean: I sense in my Spirit...I wanna do something.
John: If it touches you it'll touch Him. Look out lack. Your boy could be snatched out of that death chamber and be Free if you Give. Death Row? Not sure.
Its one thing to give a valuable thing
But it has to be Precious!!!
Sow the precious right now.
Glory to God.
The water was valuable (drought) but the cake was precious. You see the Widow Woman gave her last meal to the Man of God. And she got blessed.
Call the # 1000 5000 10000 $ whatever; 714-731-1000
cog believe me All you need is 1 Favor of God!
You would be in Fat City!
Dean is now wanting to Pray to release the Spirit of Prosperity.
And I'm off to watch Brady Bunch.
Which really is
Righteous.
And so goes the Telethon.
Amen.
THE 30 FOLD 60 FOLD THE 100 FOLD COMES FORTH
AMEN.
Applause (meter BTW)
To the phones; press in
cog.
I've counted 25 times he's said Child of God; I didn't keep up with the seeds.
The wicked are gonna jump out of windows soon.
When THE RIVER NILE RUNS BLOOD!
THE SLAVES WALK OUT W/MILLIONS OF $
Call Today.
This fundraiser occured a few weeks ago and I got the bright idea to type while it broadcasted. Right ambitious that. Anyhow, you'll get a Keeky Blast as Greg said on Brady Bunch for the Comedy is Excellent! so Let's Begin:
I didn't want this to slip by you but in just a few days TBN or Trinity Broadcasting Network will have and is having:
Fall Praise a Thon!
Yes get your credit cards ready; this is for you. And if you still have time to run to Dallas TX, do so for its Really Good in Person...you gotta be there!
Time for Purkey singing...Mike Purkey that is.
Amen.
Tonight's Praise the Lord kicks it off w/Dean & Mary Brown (singers) hosting, Purkey singing (He preaches too), & a few others. Mom and Pop Winans I believe and a young lady named DeDe!
That's right! DeDe!?! did the singing. No other name but....well DeDe!?! Gave me a Buzz Right There.
But the star of tonight's program if you didn't see it already is:
John Avanzini.
This guy had one of my favorite lines from Praise a Thons past; I think they're gonna use him this year:
In the Name of Jesus I rebuke the Devil from off of them phones! You see the people didn't dial fast enough so he blamed the Devil that is Satan. And you thought David Wilkerson's seeing demons in the smoke of a Mylon Lefevre concert was interesting.
Don't know about Schambach yet, but I'm betting he's there w/the usuals. RW Schambach is a preacher who's into the 2000 $ Faith Promise, where if you give $ God'll bless you. He has now Stepped it Up to 3000 $!! One of his best sayings from past Praise a Thons:
The average person spends $20000 a Year on Cigarettes, which works out to a Carton a Day at current prices! Folk must be dropping like flies.
Don't forget to listen to the story about the boy w/the 28 Diseases that got healed at an AA Allen Meeting; its most impressive that.
But if you hear a story about a guy finding money in an oil filter under his old truck (or some such; he's got lots of em) THIS IS WHEN YOU HAVE TO MOVE!!! For the Waters are Troubled when it comes to Fundraising. Yea get your HAND ON THE DIAL....NOW!
Amen.
Waiting for Avanzini to give his message and boy was he hot tonight. Stand by; Purkey's finishing up his song:
Searching Searching
till I find Him
Changed my mind
Changed my heart
Got in my Feet!
Can't be beat
Anoit Me Sweet
Well I kept on searching
till I found
The King of Kings
Applause for that nice Jerry Lee Lewis like piano flourish at the end...he's kin to Swaggart you know.
Want a replica of an ancient Israel candle holder? It has the Star of David, the trademark fish symbol, and is a nice piece of pottery...just send 25$ a month or 250$ one time.
Dean Brown is talking...its starting. Nobody had ever told Dean about money...till he heard Avanzini Prosperity Plan. He's anoited and will change your destiny. No Demon of Debt.
Applause.
Brother John here:
Child of God 26 yrs of teaching Biblical finances
I'm gonna talk about Guaranteed Harvest.
Get ready.
Its not commerce or agriculture or seed company; its the Bible and I'm gonna show you.
Can't just go w/out manifesting...gotta get it.
God does not figure value the way we figure value.
We throw a buck in the plate..and
We spend billions on appraising on houses, insurance, etc...but
Child of God the Lord does it diff'rent.
How much would you ask God for a cow for He owns the cattle on 1000 hills.
Child of God.
Mark 12 Chapter Jesus.
He beheld how people cast money into treasury; looked at their heart. All the silver & gold be His.
I'm keeping a tally of Child of God's and Seeds. Cog BTW means Child of God; don't let it throw you. It get tiresome; yea to my Marrow that is Bones yea and the Knuckles writing it out. Carpal tunnel syndrone aside, its easier just to abbreviate it Because:
Believe me this preacher says it A LOT!
Amen.
Hear the Man of God...believe the Prophet... and you'll get the Harvest...you'll never forget it.
The woman gives & Jesus says to disciples:
Verily I say unto you: This woman has outgiven everyone.
Yes she has 2 mites but it was:
PRECIOUS!
The fatcats throw in the surplus ...mad money & they cast a little. But:
Child of God she gave of all her living.
Child of God.
The world says here but she said No I'm putting it into the Man of God.
He's talking about how giving an amount that's Precious can move the hand of God.
He's telling the Widow Woman story as per Elijah. Lots of evangelists use this on TV.
Child of God listen to me.
COG in a FAMINE 7 YRS OF DROUGHT! WE HAVE FUSSED ABOUT THE MEAL COOKIE BUT WHEN YOU'VE BEEN IN THE DESERT AND SOMEONE HANDS YOU WATER ITS MOST VALUABLE, BUT THE MAN OF GOD SAYS I WANT THE CAKE...ITS MY SON'S LAST MEAL SAID THE WIDOW WOMAN.
BUT THE PRECIOUS!!! SHE GAVE THE PRECIOUS!
Brother John was Yelling at the TV screen.
When a criminal is put to death his Last Meal is sacred..but the Death Angel is in the House and the man of God is getting the cake..the last meal
And the precious CAKE! SENDS GOD LIKE LIGHTNING. AND IT MOVES GOD!
Cog (Child of God) We're hung up in our thinking. God is not moved by the valuable COG get this.
Little single mothers going 2 the phone and outgive the fatcats cause its precious and
It MOVES GOD!
COG 2x
Call the # on the screen and value don't matter...it must go PRECIOUS. THE ANGELS GATHER AND JESUS WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU DESIRE.
HE OWNS EVERYTHING...IT DON'T MATTER..BUT WHEN YOU COME TO
PRECIOUS!!!!
There's a woman folk know more than Billy Graham..
the woman w/the alabaster box.
300 pence you could feed poor!
But she gave the precious COG
COG as I SPEAK TO YOU HEAR THIS! JESUS SAID LET HER ALONE. THIS IS A MEMORIAL FOR HER!
Brother John's getting excited.
Applause.
CHILD OF GOD DON'T WAIT GET ON THAT PHONE AND YOU HAVE TO MOVE!
Father Abraham. His voice just cracked:eek::D::eek:I think Brother John needs some water!
he tells where He gets his son Issac and is about to sacrifice Issac.
God moves to mountaintop and as the knife goes down
2 TRANSLATIONS LIVING AND AMPLIFIED SAYS:
NOW I KNOW YOU PUT ME 1ST.
The God of the Old Testament!
2000 yrs ago He gave his son and it was Precious! So God Moved. Amen..but wait 1 minute....?
If Osama Bin Laden calls out God have Mercy to me a sinner He'll save his soul. (I'm not holding my breath Amen.)
Cog.
Tells about Joseph in Egypt.
It seems to me the point is that the size of the gift doesn't matter? But it has to mean something sacrificial...like giving your last dime or whatever.
Bro John moves on.
COG
Jacob had his youngest son Benjamin at home...until Benjamin moved (to Joseph..meaning Jacob losing his son) God wouldn't move.
Just like you got $ hidden away in a jar or mattress or something
And you need to move it...by giving is that right?
Quite.
$10000 a night for Praise the Lord. (TBN's main program)
Who will give 10000? You'd go to the mailbox 4 x a day! (looking for a check I reckon)
Expectancy for the Harvest.
You'd give 1000 $ and God would get you another 1000 and the Harvest besides.
seed said 5x.
Seed
Seed
Seed
Seed
Seed (told you)
Psalms 126...Guaranteed Harvest.
If I gave 5000 $
Cog
YOU KNOW THE 2ND COMING OF JESUS IS RIGHT UPON US (HE MEANT THE RAPTURE)!!!!!!!
Bringing in the Sheaves!!! (Haven't heard that since Little House on the Prairie)
cog. I know where God is.
Thank God for all the finances
But for the 100 fold..save a child, save a marriage
cog
Your harvest is at the phone
DIAL THE #
Everytime the Precious MOVES!!!!!
Need a house
Get your boy or girl out of the mean secular schools
How much is precious?
YOU DECIDE..
cog cog cog get on the line
5000, 10000, one guy needs to give 100000 $
CHILD OF GOD IN THE NAME OF JESUS IF THE PRECIOUS MOVES EVERY REQUEST IS GRANTED!!! FINANCES! GETTING SAVED! A SMORGASBOARD OF BLESSING...BUT YOU MUST GIVE YOUR PRECIOUS..DON'T WAIT ANOTHER MINUTE.
Give something to this or that fundraiser but
When it comes to giving to God
Give to be precious
Rick Renner had a valuable art collection...and in tears he gave it all to God! He'd sold it and gave it all to God.
Glory to God.
Dean: I sense in my Spirit...I wanna do something.
John: If it touches you it'll touch Him. Look out lack. Your boy could be snatched out of that death chamber and be Free if you Give. Death Row? Not sure.
Its one thing to give a valuable thing
But it has to be Precious!!!
Sow the precious right now.
Glory to God.
The water was valuable (drought) but the cake was precious. You see the Widow Woman gave her last meal to the Man of God. And she got blessed.
Call the # 1000 5000 10000 $ whatever; 714-731-1000
cog believe me All you need is 1 Favor of God!
You would be in Fat City!
Dean is now wanting to Pray to release the Spirit of Prosperity.
And I'm off to watch Brady Bunch.
Which really is
Righteous.
And so goes the Telethon.
Amen.
THE 30 FOLD 60 FOLD THE 100 FOLD COMES FORTH
AMEN.
Applause (meter BTW)
To the phones; press in
cog.
I've counted 25 times he's said Child of God; I didn't keep up with the seeds.
The wicked are gonna jump out of windows soon.
When THE RIVER NILE RUNS BLOOD!
THE SLAVES WALK OUT W/MILLIONS OF $
Call Today.