Frank Gannucci
12-03-2009, 05:54 PM
(American Life TV):
(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)
TV-G
All times are Eastern.
All color episodes are one hour.
Sat. Dec. 5, 2009 2a #3 (aka #156) - "The Poor People of Paris": Ralph & Ed get a great exchange rate -- on counterfeit money.
Sun. Dec. 6, 2009 2a #24 (aka #177) – “Out of Sight, Out of Mind”: Ralph is sent to the company psychiatrist when he loses his temper once too often on the job. He is advised to give up his friendship with Norton, Norton mistakes his farewell note for a suicide note, and shadows Ralph to keep him out of trouble. Ralph, seeing Norton everywhere he looks, thinks he's losing his mind...until the truth comes out and the psychiatrist decides that Norton and Kramden belong together.
3a #25 (aka #178) – “Two Faces of Ralph Kramden”: Ralph is set up as an "insurance executive" by mobsters because he is a dead ringer for their boss (also played by Gleason). Their real boss is fleeing the country with his moll; Ralph, as his stand-in, is due to be exterminated momentarily. Only the intervention of Norton, Alice, and Trixie saves Ralph's life.
Mon. Dec. 7, 2009 2a #26 (aka #179) – “The Main Event”: Boxer "Dynamite" Moran is living with the Kramdens and Ralph is his new promoter. His first knockout, strictly unofficial and off the record, is staged for the benefit of the manager of heavyweight contender "Killer" Cuoco. The scheme works until Norton accidentally decks Dynamite. Undaunted, Ralph vows to stay in the fig ht game. Only this time, he will train Norton for the ring.
3a #27 (aka #180) – “To Whomever It May Concern”: Ralph, told to turn in his bus driver's uniform, dashes off a scathing letter to his boss, only to realize he was not being fired but promoted to traffic manager. He retrieves the letter, and then mails it again by mistake. His boss receives the letter, but has no one to blame, since it is unsigned. Then Norton stops by the boss' office to plead for another chance for his pal...and Ralph's professional aspirations take another nose dive.
Tue. Dec. 8, 2009 2a #4 (aka #157) - "Confusion Italian Style": Ralph is jealous of Alice's guide, not knowing the guide is a little boy.
Wed. Dec. 9, 2009 2a #5 (aka #158) - "The Curse of the Kramdens": Ralph & Ed have to spend the night in the ancestral Kramden castle, which has its very own ghost.
Thu. Dec. 10, 2009 2a #6 (aka #159) – “The Mod Couple” (aka "The Honeymooners in England"): The Kramdens & Nortons appear in a Flakey Wakey commercial on an English TV show. Ralph makes a fool of himself and Ed accidentally overturns a piano. The Kramdens flee London in shame but are invited back because the audience loved the commercial.
Fri. Dec. 11, 2009 2a #7 (aka #160) - "You're in the Picture": Blackmailers fake a hanky-panky photo of Ralph in Madrid, and for once, Alice is jealous.
Sat. Dec. 12, 2009 2a #8 (aka #161) - "We Spy": Ralph and Ed wander onto a Russian firing range while visiting Germany and are mistaken for spies.
Sun. Dec. 13, 2009 2a #28 (aka #181) – “Sleepy Time Gal”: Ralph meets a hypnotist, the Great Fatchoomara, at the Raccoon Lodge, and persuades him to put Alice in a trance. That way, she will have to show Ralph where she hides her emergency cash. Unfortunately for Ralph, Alice overhears his scheme and substitutes a note for the money. He doesn't realize until too late, on a train to the Miami Beach Raccoons' Annual Convention, that Alice was wise to him all along.
3a #29 (aka #182) – “Boy Next Door”: Alice, planning a surprise birthday party for Ralph, borrows a cookbook recipe from Trixie. Ralph, discovering the cookbook, finds in it an old love letter written by Ed. He concludes that Ed and Alice are lovers and takes the appropriate actions: following them and telling Trixie. But Trixie just laughs at Ralph, and then she tells him the truth.
Mon. Dec. 14, 2009 2a #30 (aka #183) – “Follow The Boys”: When the wives complain that their husbands don't fuss over them anymore, Ralph and Ed come up with a compromise: one night a week will be "boys' night out," the other nights they will spend with Alice and Trixie. But this is just another scheme that backfires on Ralph, who is planning to wear out the wives on the first night, but overcomes himself with exhaustion instead.
3a #38 (aka #191) – “Play It Again Norton”: The Honeymooners wreck havoc on a cross-country tour. Our two willing but not-so-able boobs (Ralph & Ed) enter a song contest sponsored by movie star Worthington Kenmore (played by Paul Lynde). The prize: $25,000 and a Hollywood trip. The problem: entrants must be under 18.
Tue. Dec. 15, 2009 2a #9 (aka #162) - "Petticoat Jungle": The Kramdens & Nortons go on a safari. The men go hunting -- Ralph kills a rabbit, Ed kills an elephant.
Wed. Dec. 16, 2009 2a #10 (aka #163) – “Run Santa Run”: Ralph doesn't know that Alice has taken in knitting to pay for his Christmas present, so when he discovers baby things in the apartment he assumes Alice is pregnant. He takes on a job as a sidewalk Santa with Norton as his helper. They are both arrested as operatives in a bookmaking operation.
Thu. Dec. 17, 2009 2a #11 (aka #164) - "King of the Castle": Back from Europe, Ralph advises Ed to stand up to Trixie -- and suddenly, Alice moves in with Trixie and Ed is living with Ralph.
Fri. Dec. 18, 2009 2a #12 (aka #165) – “Movies Are Better Than Ever”: Ralph treats himself, Alice and the Nortons to the movies for Ed's birthday. Ed's ticket wins the door prize -- a color TV. Ralph declares war on Ed because he paid for the tickets and wants the TV. Eventually they take their case to court but reconcile after hearing Alice's testimony.
Sat. Dec. 19, 2009 2a #13 (aka #166) – “Without Reservations”: Ralph's brother-in-law Stanley persuades Ralph and Ed into buying a strategically located hotel along the route of a proposed highway. The highway ends up bypassing the hotel, putting Ralph and Ed out of business but money in Stanley's pocket since he's a construction worker on the new highway.
(WPIX) & (WPIXD) [aka New York feed of CWHD]:
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
Mon. Dec. 7, 2009 1a & 1:30a (CC?) (No episode title) Bus driver Ralph Kramden schemes to improve his lot in life.
Mon. Dec. 14, 2009 1a (CC) #44 (aka #74) - *“Kramden Vs. Norton”: Ralph takes Ed to the movies for his birthday. Norton wins a television set with the ticket Ralph bought, and the two friends fight over who really owns the TV set.
1:30a (CC) #45 (aka #80) - *“The Great Jewel Robbery”: Ralph collects money at the bus company to buy a wedding present for the boss' daughter, but Alice thinks the gift is for her.
*: This lost episode has been edited HEAVILY.
Credit goes to zap2it.com, the old honeymooners.net, tvland.com, tvguide.com & John K's Book To The Moon.
"Dial J For Janitor":
Ralph: "I was handling that job perfectly. You know what happened today wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault."
(Ralph is referring to the incident where he got stuck between two large pipes because of his weight.)
Alice: "No Ralph, it wasn't your fault. You were just doing your impression of two pounds of bologna in a one pound bag."
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):
(Ralph wants to talk to Ed's boss in the sewer.)
Ralph: "There isn't anything in this world that is going to stop me from going down that sewer tomorrow."
Alice: "Oh no? There isn't a manhole in this city that you could fit through."
"Mama Loves Mambo":
(Ralph cooks a sorry excuse for oatmeal and serves it to the girls.)
Trixie: "Ed, you try this (oatmeal)."
Ed (looking at the oatmeal): "No, I will bee a gentlemen to wait. I may wait until tomorrow."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
(Ralph is planning on doing the most work when he and Alice go on Beat The Clock.)
Ralph: "As usual, I am carrying the whole load on my shoulders."
Alice: "You are carrying the load but it's not on your shoulders."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
Ed: "I watch your show. It's very educational."
Bud Collyer (as himself): "Educational?"
Ed: "Yeah, it's a wonder what you could do with whipped cream on this show."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
Ralph & Ed (singing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE
DAY IN THE MERRY, MERRY MONTH OF MAY. I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A
PAIR OF RUGGISH EYES..."
Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN THERE? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."
Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity."
(Ralph goes to the window and opens it.)
Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE
SALOON BURN DOWN?"
"Nephew of The Bride":
(Ralph tries to open the window to get Aunt Ethel's milk.)
Ethel: "Pull harder."
Ralph: "If I pull any harder, I will lift the building off the ground."
"King of The Castle":
(Ralph is trying to give Alice the symphony routine. He claims that he is in pain.)
Ralph: "It's my stomach."
Alice (looking at his stomach): "Gee, that is a big problem."
"A Weighty Problem Part 2":
(Alice gives Ralph some celery sticks.)
Alice: "How do you like your supper Ralph?"
Ralph: "My supper? You mean to tell me that that was my supper? What are these things (knife & fork) for, to commit suicide with?"
(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)
TV-G
All times are Eastern.
All color episodes are one hour.
Sat. Dec. 5, 2009 2a #3 (aka #156) - "The Poor People of Paris": Ralph & Ed get a great exchange rate -- on counterfeit money.
Sun. Dec. 6, 2009 2a #24 (aka #177) – “Out of Sight, Out of Mind”: Ralph is sent to the company psychiatrist when he loses his temper once too often on the job. He is advised to give up his friendship with Norton, Norton mistakes his farewell note for a suicide note, and shadows Ralph to keep him out of trouble. Ralph, seeing Norton everywhere he looks, thinks he's losing his mind...until the truth comes out and the psychiatrist decides that Norton and Kramden belong together.
3a #25 (aka #178) – “Two Faces of Ralph Kramden”: Ralph is set up as an "insurance executive" by mobsters because he is a dead ringer for their boss (also played by Gleason). Their real boss is fleeing the country with his moll; Ralph, as his stand-in, is due to be exterminated momentarily. Only the intervention of Norton, Alice, and Trixie saves Ralph's life.
Mon. Dec. 7, 2009 2a #26 (aka #179) – “The Main Event”: Boxer "Dynamite" Moran is living with the Kramdens and Ralph is his new promoter. His first knockout, strictly unofficial and off the record, is staged for the benefit of the manager of heavyweight contender "Killer" Cuoco. The scheme works until Norton accidentally decks Dynamite. Undaunted, Ralph vows to stay in the fig ht game. Only this time, he will train Norton for the ring.
3a #27 (aka #180) – “To Whomever It May Concern”: Ralph, told to turn in his bus driver's uniform, dashes off a scathing letter to his boss, only to realize he was not being fired but promoted to traffic manager. He retrieves the letter, and then mails it again by mistake. His boss receives the letter, but has no one to blame, since it is unsigned. Then Norton stops by the boss' office to plead for another chance for his pal...and Ralph's professional aspirations take another nose dive.
Tue. Dec. 8, 2009 2a #4 (aka #157) - "Confusion Italian Style": Ralph is jealous of Alice's guide, not knowing the guide is a little boy.
Wed. Dec. 9, 2009 2a #5 (aka #158) - "The Curse of the Kramdens": Ralph & Ed have to spend the night in the ancestral Kramden castle, which has its very own ghost.
Thu. Dec. 10, 2009 2a #6 (aka #159) – “The Mod Couple” (aka "The Honeymooners in England"): The Kramdens & Nortons appear in a Flakey Wakey commercial on an English TV show. Ralph makes a fool of himself and Ed accidentally overturns a piano. The Kramdens flee London in shame but are invited back because the audience loved the commercial.
Fri. Dec. 11, 2009 2a #7 (aka #160) - "You're in the Picture": Blackmailers fake a hanky-panky photo of Ralph in Madrid, and for once, Alice is jealous.
Sat. Dec. 12, 2009 2a #8 (aka #161) - "We Spy": Ralph and Ed wander onto a Russian firing range while visiting Germany and are mistaken for spies.
Sun. Dec. 13, 2009 2a #28 (aka #181) – “Sleepy Time Gal”: Ralph meets a hypnotist, the Great Fatchoomara, at the Raccoon Lodge, and persuades him to put Alice in a trance. That way, she will have to show Ralph where she hides her emergency cash. Unfortunately for Ralph, Alice overhears his scheme and substitutes a note for the money. He doesn't realize until too late, on a train to the Miami Beach Raccoons' Annual Convention, that Alice was wise to him all along.
3a #29 (aka #182) – “Boy Next Door”: Alice, planning a surprise birthday party for Ralph, borrows a cookbook recipe from Trixie. Ralph, discovering the cookbook, finds in it an old love letter written by Ed. He concludes that Ed and Alice are lovers and takes the appropriate actions: following them and telling Trixie. But Trixie just laughs at Ralph, and then she tells him the truth.
Mon. Dec. 14, 2009 2a #30 (aka #183) – “Follow The Boys”: When the wives complain that their husbands don't fuss over them anymore, Ralph and Ed come up with a compromise: one night a week will be "boys' night out," the other nights they will spend with Alice and Trixie. But this is just another scheme that backfires on Ralph, who is planning to wear out the wives on the first night, but overcomes himself with exhaustion instead.
3a #38 (aka #191) – “Play It Again Norton”: The Honeymooners wreck havoc on a cross-country tour. Our two willing but not-so-able boobs (Ralph & Ed) enter a song contest sponsored by movie star Worthington Kenmore (played by Paul Lynde). The prize: $25,000 and a Hollywood trip. The problem: entrants must be under 18.
Tue. Dec. 15, 2009 2a #9 (aka #162) - "Petticoat Jungle": The Kramdens & Nortons go on a safari. The men go hunting -- Ralph kills a rabbit, Ed kills an elephant.
Wed. Dec. 16, 2009 2a #10 (aka #163) – “Run Santa Run”: Ralph doesn't know that Alice has taken in knitting to pay for his Christmas present, so when he discovers baby things in the apartment he assumes Alice is pregnant. He takes on a job as a sidewalk Santa with Norton as his helper. They are both arrested as operatives in a bookmaking operation.
Thu. Dec. 17, 2009 2a #11 (aka #164) - "King of the Castle": Back from Europe, Ralph advises Ed to stand up to Trixie -- and suddenly, Alice moves in with Trixie and Ed is living with Ralph.
Fri. Dec. 18, 2009 2a #12 (aka #165) – “Movies Are Better Than Ever”: Ralph treats himself, Alice and the Nortons to the movies for Ed's birthday. Ed's ticket wins the door prize -- a color TV. Ralph declares war on Ed because he paid for the tickets and wants the TV. Eventually they take their case to court but reconcile after hearing Alice's testimony.
Sat. Dec. 19, 2009 2a #13 (aka #166) – “Without Reservations”: Ralph's brother-in-law Stanley persuades Ralph and Ed into buying a strategically located hotel along the route of a proposed highway. The highway ends up bypassing the hotel, putting Ralph and Ed out of business but money in Stanley's pocket since he's a construction worker on the new highway.
(WPIX) & (WPIXD) [aka New York feed of CWHD]:
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
Mon. Dec. 7, 2009 1a & 1:30a (CC?) (No episode title) Bus driver Ralph Kramden schemes to improve his lot in life.
Mon. Dec. 14, 2009 1a (CC) #44 (aka #74) - *“Kramden Vs. Norton”: Ralph takes Ed to the movies for his birthday. Norton wins a television set with the ticket Ralph bought, and the two friends fight over who really owns the TV set.
1:30a (CC) #45 (aka #80) - *“The Great Jewel Robbery”: Ralph collects money at the bus company to buy a wedding present for the boss' daughter, but Alice thinks the gift is for her.
*: This lost episode has been edited HEAVILY.
Credit goes to zap2it.com, the old honeymooners.net, tvland.com, tvguide.com & John K's Book To The Moon.
"Dial J For Janitor":
Ralph: "I was handling that job perfectly. You know what happened today wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault."
(Ralph is referring to the incident where he got stuck between two large pipes because of his weight.)
Alice: "No Ralph, it wasn't your fault. You were just doing your impression of two pounds of bologna in a one pound bag."
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):
(Ralph wants to talk to Ed's boss in the sewer.)
Ralph: "There isn't anything in this world that is going to stop me from going down that sewer tomorrow."
Alice: "Oh no? There isn't a manhole in this city that you could fit through."
"Mama Loves Mambo":
(Ralph cooks a sorry excuse for oatmeal and serves it to the girls.)
Trixie: "Ed, you try this (oatmeal)."
Ed (looking at the oatmeal): "No, I will bee a gentlemen to wait. I may wait until tomorrow."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
(Ralph is planning on doing the most work when he and Alice go on Beat The Clock.)
Ralph: "As usual, I am carrying the whole load on my shoulders."
Alice: "You are carrying the load but it's not on your shoulders."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
Ed: "I watch your show. It's very educational."
Bud Collyer (as himself): "Educational?"
Ed: "Yeah, it's a wonder what you could do with whipped cream on this show."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
Ralph & Ed (singing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE
DAY IN THE MERRY, MERRY MONTH OF MAY. I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A
PAIR OF RUGGISH EYES..."
Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN THERE? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."
Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity."
(Ralph goes to the window and opens it.)
Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE
SALOON BURN DOWN?"
"Nephew of The Bride":
(Ralph tries to open the window to get Aunt Ethel's milk.)
Ethel: "Pull harder."
Ralph: "If I pull any harder, I will lift the building off the ground."
"King of The Castle":
(Ralph is trying to give Alice the symphony routine. He claims that he is in pain.)
Ralph: "It's my stomach."
Alice (looking at his stomach): "Gee, that is a big problem."
"A Weighty Problem Part 2":
(Alice gives Ralph some celery sticks.)
Alice: "How do you like your supper Ralph?"
Ralph: "My supper? You mean to tell me that that was my supper? What are these things (knife & fork) for, to commit suicide with?"