After you die...

[Janice]

Will you be buried or cremated? For all of you youngsters, you maybe never give it a thought. :) However, sooner or later, it's something that you have to think about. Actually, I decided when I was 15 that I was going to be cremated when I die. I've never changed my mind. It has to do with my claustrophia. Yes, yes, I realize that I won't be alive if I was in a coffin, six feet under. No matter, I'm having my ashes scattered at sea. Has anyone else made a decision? I also realize that this is a very morbid topic, so if it's too dark for you, please move on.

[catlover79]

I'm with Janice. Plus, I don't want to be put on display at calling hours. My grandparents were both cremated, buried privately and then had a memorial service at the church. That's the way I'd want it.

[Courtnee]

Cremated. It's pointless to have something dead buried in the ground. Taking up unnecessary space.

[LuLu Rogers]

I want to be buried, no doubt in my mind. I've always said that I wanted to be buried under a big Oak tree in Kentucky, LOL.

[Chocoholic]

I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in the river that runs through my hometown.

I agree with Monika about being on display during a wake. It's too creepy for me. I've been to quite a few wakes and just find looking at the dead body too upsetting and disturbing. I know some people need that sense of closure, but not me. When my time comes, I just want a memorial service with pictures and videos of me shown alive.

[Chocoholic]

I got this idea from Janice's "After you die" thread. I can't stand going to wakes where the person's body is on display in an open casket. I've been to quite a few, including close relatives and and found it upsetting and disturbing each time. I want to remember that person as how they were alive. I know some people consider it closure, but I don't. When I die, I want a funeral and memorial service, but no wake or calling hours.

[Brian Damage]

I want to be cremated. No way I want an open casket or anything like that.

[treky]

I think I'd like to be cremated.

[MikeL]

i can not handle wakes i went to my daddy's one time so disturbing and tramatizing i can not handle it i wil never forget seeing my daddy gone like that never get over it

i want be in casket but not underground i dont know just hard think about it

[Hollow]

cemeteries are beautiful. i always wanted to be part of one. i found on monday i might have a cancer risk and i was upset at first, but i'm liking the idea more and more, so i'm hoping i'll die from it. a symbol marking my lack of existence would be wonderful. i want to be buried in my prom dress with my stuffed animals.

[Janice]

i can not handle wakes i went to my daddy's one time so disturbing and tramatizing i can not handle it i wil never forget seeing my daddy gone like that never get over it

i want be in casket but not underground i dont know just hard think about it
I'm sorry it was so hard for you. I think open caskets are awful.

[phoebe7165]

Cremated. It's pointless to have something dead buried in the ground. Taking up unnecessary space.

I agree. Not to mention it's much cheaper to get cremated. I never understood spending thousands of dollars for a funeral. I'm not sure I want a service yet, but my family knows my wishes after I'm gone before I'm cremated. Use what the doctors can - organs, eyes, skin. This may sound gross to some people but I'll have no use for them. Better to give this to others who can.

[Hollow]

:grr: are all these death topics some kind of conspiracy to keep me from leaving again like i announced i would? i was just going to post in that balloon boy thread, but now all these threads are starting to come up and it's hard to resist.

anyway, no. i hate losing people i love, but death itself is beautiful and i'd rather see them in that state before laying them to rest. i still vividly remember seeing my mom in her casket and i get visions of it when i think about dying. it makes me feel at peace. i don't want mine open though. i hate attention.

[catlover79]

In a word - YES.

[catlover79]

I'm sorry it was so hard for you. I think open caskets are awful.
I agree 100%.

[Janice]

I agree. Not to mention it's much cheaper to get cremated. I never understood spending thousands of dollars for a funeral. I'm not sure I want a service yet, but my family knows my wishes after I'm gone before I'm cremated. Use what the doctors can - organs, eyes, skin. This may sound gross to some people but I'll have no use for them. Better to give this to others who can.
Even cremation is expensive. Funeral parlors still have to make money. There are other options. People can donate their bodies to science. This place here returns the cremated remains to the family in an urn, or they scatter them at sea. They take the person away when they die. It costs nothing. Families can still have memorials or even wakes (with the remains in a closed casket).

http://www.medcure.org/index.html

[phoebe7165]

Even cremation is expensive. Funeral parlors still have to make money. There are other options. People can donate their bodies to science. This place here returns the cremated remains to the family in an urn, or they scatter them at sea. They take the person away when they die. It costs nothing. Families can still have memorials or even wakes (with the remains in a closed casket).

http://www.medcure.org/index.html

I understand that cremation will cost some, too, but I was always thought that it was a few thousand dollars less to get cremated than to get buried. All I know is both my dad and my cousin were cremated. These decisions were made because it was cheaper for my family, especially for my aunt. My cousin's death was a little unexpectant, and she didn't have alot of money for his funeral.

[ABlairican Pie]

I've never been into the whole idea of cremation, so I would like to be laid to rest in style: Be buried in a KISS coffin with a full stereo system pumping in metal from some undisclosed location, with a six-pack by my side and the lid of the coffin decorated with girlie pictures. And a Bible. A Stryper pocket Bible from 1986 when they tossed them out into the crowd in concert.

:rock: :guitar: :guitar: :rock:

[catlover79]

I've never been into the whole idea of cremation, so I would like to be laid to rest in style: Be buried in a KISS coffin with a full stereo system pumping in metal from some undisclosed location, with a six-pack by my side and the lid of the coffin decorated with girlie pictures. And a Bible. A Stryper pocket Bible from 1986 when they tossed them out into the crowd in concert.

:rock: :guitar: :guitar: :rock:
I have to admit, I like the way you think. :rock:

[ABlairican Pie]

I have to admit, I like the way you think. :rock:
If you're gonna go, go in style. :rock: Make a statement!

[Janice]

I understand that cremation will cost some, too, but I was always thought that it was a few thousand dollars less to get cremated than to get buried. All I know is both my dad and my cousin were cremated. These decisions were made because it was cheaper for my family, especially for my aunt. My cousin's death was a little unexpectant, and she didn't have alot of money for his funeral.
It's difficult with an unexpected death. I can't get over the cost of funerals. My parents were $8,000 each, and they died two months apart. We had pre-planned their funerals though. The link I gave you is for people who want to donate their bodies to science. Everything is free. They return your ashes in an urn or scatter them at sea.

[Chocoholic]

I didn't know you lost your parents two months apart, Janice. How awful! :(

My mom lost her mom (my Nana) and brother within 10 weeks of each other back in 2003. Neither death was unexpected, but still a devastating loss.

[Chocoholic]

:grr: are all these death topics some kind of conspiracy to keep me from leaving again like i announced i would?

Of course not, Sarah :D We would never want you to leave again. I do think some of these death topics are getting a little bit morbid, but it is almost Halloween. ;)

Maybe we should talk about the best part of Halloween... all that candy! :happyface

[catlover79]

Of course not, Sarah :D We would never want you to leave again. I do think some of these death topics are getting a little bit morbid, but it is almost Halloween. ;)

Maybe we should talk about the best part of Halloween... all that candy! :happyface
As Garfield would say: "CANDY CANDY CANDY CANDY CANDY!!!!!" :lol:

[Janice]

I didn't know you lost your parents two months apart, Janice. How awful! :(

My mom lost her mom (my Nana) and brother within 10 weeks of each other back in 2003. Neither death was unexpected, but still a devastating loss.
Thank you, and I'm sorry for your loss too. It's heartbreaking. My parents died in 2002, and my sister died in 2003. That was the second sister I lost. My entire family has died.

[Janice]

Of course not, Sarah :D We would never want you to leave again. I do think some of these death topics are getting a little bit morbid, but it is almost Halloween. ;)
I merged them. :)

[catlover79]

Thank you, and I'm sorry for your loss too. It's heartbreaking. My parents died in 2002, and my sister died in 2003. That was the second sister I lost. My entire family has died.
I'm so sorry, Janice. :bighug:

[phoebe7165]

Thank you, and I'm sorry for your loss too. It's heartbreaking. My parents died in 2002, and my sister died in 2003. That was the second sister I lost. My entire family has died.

Wow, I had no idea, either. I am so sorry that you went through that about all at the same time. This might seem like a weird question but did you think you dealt with all of it better that 3 members of your family died near each other?

The reason I ask is I read about somebody whose father had died. Then a man who was one of his dad's good friends, and who that somebody grew up with and who he had also considered to be a 2nd father died the very next day. He said that it seems that anybody would've been devastated that 2 people so close in his life die in 2 days, but he said that he was glad that they died when they did. If his dad died, and then the friend didn't die until some time later, he wouldn't have been to deal with that as well.

[MikeL]

i do not know why they have them i think it is degradding and tourmentive who want look at a dead body n have it in their mind

for rest of their lives i dont think anyone schould have them anymore anywhere

n wow lot death topics

[Janice]

Wow, I had no idea, either. I am so sorry that you went through that about all at the same time. This might seem like a weird question but did you think you dealt with all of it better that 3 members of your family died near each other?

The reason I ask is I read about somebody whose father had died. Then a man who was one of his dad's good friends, and who that somebody grew up with and who he had also considered to be a 2nd father died the very next day. He said that it seems that anybody would've been devastated that 2 people so close in his life die in 2 days, but he said that he was glad that they died when they did. If his dad died, and then the friend didn't die until some time later, he wouldn't have been to deal with that as well.
I guess in one respect, it was easier to deal with it because I was grieving so deeply from the first death. If I had healed a bit from that, and the other deaths happened a couple of years apart, it would have been harder because it would have been another blow when I was sort of getting over the others. I will say this. My first sister died in 1991. She was 33 and had two teen sons. It was sad beyond words for her boys, and seeing my parents lose a child was terrible. They died the year before my other sister died. That was a blessing in the sense that I know they couldn't take another hit like that, losing another child. I still can't believe this has happened. I have no family. I was the youngest of three sisters. I even lost my cat of 17 years in 2005. I cried for a year. Here come the holidays, ugh. Thank God for my husband, but he's 18 years older than me. :( It's my biggest fear. I think (obsess?) about it every day. That's the hit I can't take. The one that will take me down, one way or another.

[Family Ties Forever!]

I'm not sure. I know I won't be alive, but the idea of being buried or burned is scary. I would probably have to spend some time thinking hard about it before I decided.

[phoebe7165]

I guess in one respect, it was easier to deal with it because I was grieving so deeply from the first death. If I had healed a bit from that, and the other deaths happened a couple of years apart, it would have been harder because it would have been another blow when I was sort of getting over the others. I will say this. My first sister died in 1991. She was 33 and had two teen sons. It was sad beyond words for her boys, and seeing my parents lose a child was terrible. They died the year before my other sister died. That was a blessing in the sense that I know they couldn't take another hit like that, losing another child. I still can't believe this has happened. I have no family. I was the youngest of three sisters. I even lost my cat of 17 years in 2005. I cried for a year. Here come the holidays, ugh. Thank God for my husband, but he's 18 years older than me. :( It's my biggest fear. I think (obsess?) about it every day. That's the hit I can't take. The one that will take me down, one way or another.

I am so sorry about losing your family. I had no idea you had gone through so much. I also remember when you lost your sweet cat.

I kinda sorta know what you mean about your husband, too. My best friend, who I've known since 7th grade, is married to a man much older than her and he has health problems. Every so often, I think that one of these days he's going to go, and I hate to see her hurting and possibly alone.

[Family Ties Forever!]

It's heartbreaking. My parents died in 2002, and my sister died in 2003. That was the second sister I lost. My entire family has died.

:hug: I'm sorry. I know that was very hard on you. :hug:

[Schmoopie]

I want be cremated and have my ashes thrown in the ocean. I love sea otters, so anywhere near where they are, so I can kind of 'be' one. Sounds silly but it's what I've thought about a lot.

[Sharop]

I haven't set out my plans but I definitely want to be buried. I have a fear of fire and can't abide the thought of being cremated. So it's burial for me.

[PZelda]

I'd like to be buried. The idea of cremation has never really appealed to me, plus nobody I know has been cremated. I would, however, like to donate my organs... I need to see about becoming an organ donor.

The older I get, the more "meh" I am towards death/seeing people in their caskets. I think it's due to the fact that I went to 4 wakes/funerals in the span of 17 months, between March of 2001 to October of 2002 (two per year... March/June 2001, April/October 2002). After going to so many funerals in less than two years, I was just like, "eh." And it's been that way since then.

The two people whose deaths hit me the hardest were my fave cousin, when she died in September of 1999... it's been over 10 years now, and I STILL miss her as much now as I did 10 years ago. And secondly, when my teacher was murdered in early '08. I'd seen her just 12 hours before she met her horrible demise, and it still ****ing blows my mind every time I think about it. :( It was a HUGE shock to my alma mater (I went to a preschool-12th grade school for 11 years, and she started teaching when I was in my 4th year attending that school), both current and alumni alike, when that happened. Even the interpreters who were at the memorial had a hard time keeping themselves composed, because of what had happened.

I thought that, due to how my teacher from the above paragraph had met her demise (stabbing), she would for sure have been cremated. Nope. Open-casket wake, but I think she was later cremated. That... was really weird, and the only time I didn't actually go "meh."

So, yeah. There you have it.

[Stuck In The '70's]

I'm going to be buried. Most of my family are buried and I do find it comforting being able to visit them.

When we had my Mom's funeral, she had a closed casket. Nobody wanted it open. My sisters' never saw my Mom dead and I think that is a blessing. I wish I hadn't seen her like that. 7 years ago today. I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

[Stuck In The '70's]

Thank you, and I'm sorry for your loss too. It's heartbreaking. My parents died in 2002, and my sister died in 2003. That was the second sister I lost. My entire family has died.
I can't imagine what you're going through Janice. It is just so unfair. :(

[Pus$y Galore]

I want to be stuffed and put in a corner of the room with all my friends there. Just put a cold beer in my hand and party around me.

I also (seriously) want the Life of Brian song, "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" played with a bouncing ball on a big screen and everyone sings along with it.

For all I care, they could bury me naked upside down and use my butt as a bicycle rack, but I do want the Hendrix quote in my sig to be on my headstone.

[Chocoholic]

I want to be stuffed and put in a corner of the room with all my friends there. Just put a cold beer in my hand and party around me.


:lol: :lol: :lol: I love that Joe Diffe song, "Prop me up beside the jukebox if I die." :lol:

[TheGreatPretender]

Unless I were to die in someway were this would not be possible, I would like to be an organ donor and have my remains cremated and scattered somewhere that I don't know yet. Somewhere, that I associate freedom with like how Janice said the sea.

[phoebe7165]

I want to be stuffed and put in a corner of the room with all my friends there. Just put a cold beer in my hand and party around me.

I also (seriously) want the Life of Brian song, "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" played with a bouncing ball on a big screen and everyone sings along with it.

For all I care, they could bury me naked upside down and use my butt as a bicycle rack, but I do want the Hendrix quote in my sig to be on my headstone.

:lol:


It's nice to see somebody have humor on such a morbid subject. I hate to admit it, but I notice that my family has a weird sense of humor at the strangest times, like at a relative's wake!! I guess it keeps all of us from going a little crazy(if we're not already there!). A wake should be a celebration of somebody's life anyway.

BTW, I have "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" on my ringtone list!!

[Chocoholic]

A wake should be a celebration of somebody's life anyway.


That's exactly how I feel and why I don't want my body there on display. Let people celebrate my life by looking at pictures and stuff, not mourn my death. Besides, as a Christian, I know I'm heading on to something better in Heaven :D

As for leaving my body to science, that's just not an option for me. I know it's just my "shell" and that med students need something to work on, but I do consider the body sacred and I don't want anyone poking around it when I'm done with it. The Museum of Science in Boston had real dead bodies on display in some exhibit a couple of years ago. My sister and a couple of other people I know who are all in the medical or biology fields all went to see it, but I refused to go.

[Ohio8]

Cremated and have my ashes scattered on Lake Erie, mostly off Kelleys Island's western shore.

[browneyes106]

I would like to be buried. I do know several people who have been creamted but their ashes are buried in graves or buried with other relatives/spouses.

[catlover79]

I'm going to be buried. Most of my family are buried and I do find it comforting being able to visit them.

When we had my Mom's funeral, she had a closed casket. Nobody wanted it open. My sisters' never saw my Mom dead and I think that is a blessing. I wish I hadn't seen her like that. 7 years ago today. I still remember that day like it was yesterday.
That's what we did with my grandma (Mom's mom). She was buried but wanted the casket closed. I was just fine with that. Before the calling hours the funeral people said the family could see her body. I couldn't do that, so I stayed behind and so did my aunt. Then my siblings said when they came back they wished they'd stayed behind because she didn't look the same. :(

[browneyes106]

I'm on the fence about open casket funerals. I have some people that didn't look how they did alive and others who look the way they did.

[MickeyMac]

If I am still healthy when I leave this world, I want to donate my body to science. That way my liver, kidneys etc. can go to someone who needs them. They can just have a memorial service for me. Open caskets funerals are just too hard to deal with. My grandmother used to tell me who much she hated them and how the longer it went the harder it was for everyone. When she died she had a closed casket, and insisted on a short service. I dont think it was even 45 minutes.

[Pus$y Galore]

If I am still healthy when I leave this world, I want to donate my body to science. That way my liver, kidneys etc. can go to someone who needs them. They can just have a memorial service for me. Open caskets funerals are just too hard to deal with. My grandmother used to tell me who much she hated them and how the longer it went the harder it was for everyone. When she died she had a closed casket, and insisted on a short service. I dont think it was even 45 minutes.
Double check your donor card Mickey. I wanted the same thing done, but then when I read the card carefully it says either OR (which sucks). If you donate to science it must be the entire body (organs and all). I don't know if they'll honor it, but I wrote in that I want any useful organs, skin and tissue donated and then whatever is left to go to a med school.

Luckily in my family my mother instilled in us not to go with open caskets. I agree - I think it's a little morbid (they rarely look like the people you knew and it can be upsetting). I'd rather remember them when they were alive, healthy and happy.

[Pus$y Galore]

:lol:


It's nice to see somebody have humor on such a morbid subject. I hate to admit it, but I notice that my family has a weird sense of humor at the strangest times, like at a relative's wake!! I guess it keeps all of us from going a little crazy(if we're not already there!). A wake should be a celebration of somebody's life anyway.

BTW, I have "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" on my ringtone list!!


:lol: Thanks. Actually, sometime I should tell the story of my family cracking up laughing hysterically in the funeral director's office when we were planning my father's funeral/burial. When you're in that state, it's so easy to swing from tears to laughter. My father is largely responsible for my sense of humour and I know he was there laughing along side us. I've always felt that death is just a part of life....the end part yes, but I feel it's just another chapter somehow.
And yes, his wake was one of the best parties we had. Also, we had a wake for my best friend's mother when we were 16. He needed a good release (she fought a horrible, long battle with spinal cancer). Once most of the people left, it was just he and his closest friends and we stayed up until dawn the next morning just acting silly as can be. It wasn't disrespectful to his mom at all. We celebrated her life, and the legacy she left in leaving 3 great children.

[catlover79]

:lol: Thanks. Actually, sometime I should tell the story of my family cracking up laughing hysterically in the funeral director's office when we were planning my father's funeral/burial. When you're in that state, it's so easy to swing from tears to laughter. My father is largely responsible for my sense of humour and I know he was there laughing along side us. I've always felt that death is just a part of life....the end part yes, but I feel it's just another chapter somehow.
And yes, his wake was one of the best parties we had. Also, we had a wake for my best friend's mother when we were 16. He needed a good release (she fought a horrible, long battle with spinal cancer). Once most of the people left, it was just he and his closest friends and we stayed up until dawn the next morning just acting silly as can be. It wasn't disrespectful to his mom at all. We celebrated her life, and the legacy she left in leaving 3 great children.
That's a sweet story - thanks for sharing it, Cathie.

[Janice]

Also, we had a wake for my best friend's mother when we were 16. He needed a good release (she fought a horrible, long battle with spinal cancer). Once most of the people left, it was just he and his closest friends and we stayed up until dawn the next morning just acting silly as can be. It wasn't disrespectful to his mom at all. We celebrated her life, and the legacy she left in leaving 3 great children.
That is a heartwarming story. It would make a nice short story for Reader's Digest or something like that. :)

[MrCleveland]

I'd like to either be buried.

But for my parents, I would like to cremate them and throw their ashes in a small town in Ontario because that's where they would spend their summers if they have the chance.

[Hollywood Rock Chic]

I want to be stuffed and put in a corner of the room with all my friends there. Just put a cold beer in my hand and party around me.

I also (seriously) want the Life of Brian song, "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" played with a bouncing ball on a big screen and everyone sings along with it.

For all I care, they could bury me naked upside down and use my butt as a bicycle rack, but I do want the Hendrix quote in my sig to be on my headstone.
:lol: Cathie, that was hilarious.
I want to be cremated , and similar to Cathie's burial. I want my ashes to be flushed down the toilet at my local favorite bar, with everyone with a glass of my favorite champagne, and music by The Rolling Stones playing in the background. To be, death, is just a new adventure, to the other side:)

[Dragonflies]

I'm not sure how I'd want to die, probably in my sleep peacefully.

I know I don't want to be buried, just cremated

[Pus$y Galore]

I'd like to either be buried.

But for my parents, I would like to cremate them and throw their ashes in a small town in Ontario because that's where they would spend their summers if they have the chance.
Somewhere in central Ontario? (Like Orillia or Huntsville? I know I'd love to be scattered in the Muskokas somewhere - heaven on earth!) ;)

[Darren J.]

I don't want a wake, though I do want to be buried and to be buried upside down.

[catlover79]

I don't want a wake, though I do want to be buried and to be buried upside down.
Why upside down?

[Darren J.]

Why upside down?


So the world can kiss my ass. ;)

[catlover79]

So the world can kiss my ass. ;)
OK!! :lol:

[Dragonflies]

So the world can kiss my ass. ;)

:rofl:

[Janice]

Does anyone have any thoughts on what they would like written, if anything, on their headstone? I guess I'd have "Lived, laughed and loved. Finally at home with my family." That's just off the top of my head. I'd have to give it some serious thought.

[Hollywood Rock Chic]

I'm going to be buried. Most of my family are buried and I do find it comforting being able to visit them.

When we had my Mom's funeral, she had a closed casket. Nobody wanted it open. My sisters' never saw my Mom dead and I think that is a blessing. I wish I hadn't seen her like that. 7 years ago today. I still remember that day like it was yesterday.
Sonny, I know, it is the anniversay of her passing; but, remember, she will always love you; she might not be there in a bodily sense, but her love is very much present, and will be forever:)

[Hollywood Rock Chic]

I guess in one respect, it was easier to deal with it because I was grieving so deeply from the first death. If I had healed a bit from that, and the other deaths happened a couple of years apart, it would have been harder because it would have been another blow when I was sort of getting over the others. I will say this. My first sister died in 1991. She was 33 and had two teen sons. It was sad beyond words for her boys, and seeing my parents lose a child was terrible. They died the year before my other sister died. That was a blessing in the sense that I know they couldn't take another hit like that, losing another child. I still can't believe this has happened. I have no family. I was the youngest of three sisters. I even lost my cat of 17 years in 2005. I cried for a year. Here come the holidays, ugh. Thank God for my husband, but he's 18 years older than me. :( It's my biggest fear. I think (obsess?) about it every day. That's the hit I can't take. The one that will take me down, one way or another.
Janice, you just have a lot of Angels looking after you, and loving you. You are truly blessed to have such a loving husband, and remember, you also have someone online friends on this board, that love you dearly :hug:

[Janice]

Janice, you just have a lot of Angels looking after you, and loving you. You are truly blessed to have such a loving husband, and remember, you also have someone online friends on this board, that love you dearly :hug:
That means more than I could ever tell you, Tara. You have such a loving heart. I know you've said that you're in no hurry to get married and have children, or care if it even happens. I respect that and admire your independence. With that said, I'd love to see you married, and playing with your three little kids on the beach. Flying kites, a golden retriever, and a big wooden basket of food on a quilted blanket. Plastic pails, a radio, frisbies and sandcastles everywhere. :heart:

:bighug:

[Stuck In The '70's]

Sonny, I know, it is the anniversay of her passing; but, remember, she will always love you; she might not be there in a bodily sense, but her love is very much present, and will be forever:)
Thank you so much Tara. Those words mean so much to me. You are a very special person. Thank you my friend. :)

[Pus$y Galore]

So the world can kiss my ass. ;)


Or use it as a bicycle rack like I'm doing! (Hey, afterall, we've got to be environmentally responsible now so make it something useful)! ;)

My mom always wanted, "I Told YOU I was sick!" on her headstone. LOL
I remember sometimes if she was bugging me about something, I'd teasingly threaten to scratch in the date of death on the headstone (since my dad went first, they put in my mom's date of birth and her name and left the DoD open until required). ;)