JamesG
08-27-2009, 12:52 PM
In Inglourious Basterds, Brad Pitt plays up his Nazi hunter's Southern accent for laughs. He's gotten unintentional laughs for an accent before, though, when he played an Austrian explorer in Seven Years in Tibet. (Kudos on the vocal work since then, Brad.)
Thinking back on Pitt's varied brogues over the years, we were inspired to compile our 15 favorite bad movie accents -- linguistic atrocities committed by some of the most esteemed actors of our time. (Oh, Sir Sean!) Along the way, we learned some interesting lessons: 1) consistency is key; 2) everyone thinks they can do a British accent, but they pretty much think wrong; and 3) if you're an actor who wants to keep your self-respect intact, don't ever, ever play Irish.
Sean Connery - The Untouchables (1987)
Accent - Irish
Yes, the Scottish Sir Sean won an Oscar with his portrayal of an Irish-American cop -- but for his acting, not his accent, which proved once and for all that Scottish and Irish accents aren't quite the same thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g0RLyxP13o
Kevin Costner - Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)
Accent - British
Bad movie accents come and go, but Costner's "now you hear it, now you don't" attempts at a British accent will stand the test of time. Who needs two Oscars when you've earned a distinction like that?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvPb_0P6mu8
Tom Cruise - Far and Away (1992)
Accent - Irish
We'd say that Cruise's accent reminds us of the Lucky Charms leprechaun ... but to be honest, that seems disrespectful to the leprechaun. (Nicole Kidman did an, um, interesting job as well -- where the heck was this movie's voice coach?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKhdf0aHmPw
Harrison Ford - K-19: The Widowmaker (2002)
Accent - Russian
Maybe we've been watching too much Rocky and Bullwinkle, but Ford's accent as Capt. Alexei Vostrikov is so over-the-top, you'd almost think he was playing the villain. Not so. Apparently even heroes can sound like cartoons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhTHS7sjTls
Tom Hanks - The Terminal (2004)
Accent - Krakozhian (fictional)
Krakozhia is a fictional country. But if Krakozhians actually existed, they'd be outraged -- outraged! -- by the way Hanks has mangled their made-up mother tongue.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQjnr1bvNI0
Charlton Heston - Touch of Evil (1958)
Accent - Mexican
Heston subscribes to the Kevin Costner school of intermittent accents. In fact, if it weren't for the fabulous tan and his pencil mustache, you might not know he's supposed to be Mexican at all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyNrgfBXWjQ
Angelina Jolie - Alexander (2004)
Accent - ?
It didn't seem possible, but watching Jolie's performance as the mother of Alexander the Great, our first thought -- for once! -- isn't how gorgeous she is. It's "What the heck accent IS that?" (For the record, she's supposed to be Greek.)
http://www.moviefone.com/movie/alexander/16409/video/alexander-clip-2-understand-how-philip/1210352
Nicole Kidman and Renée Zellwegger - Cold Mountain (2003)
Accent - Southern
Yet another Oscar winner makes our list (Sean Connery); but Zellweger has company in the weird Southern accents department. She goes harsh and twangy while Kidman goes soft and vague ... So different, yet both so very wrong.
http://www.moviefone.com/movie/cold-mountain/14956/video/first-look-cold-mountain-clip-1/1117552
Demi Moore - Flawless (2007)
Accent - British
It's an obvious joke, but we'll make it anyway: What certainly isn't Flawless about this movie? Moore's British accent. (Rimshot!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDEqMo79lr0
Brad Pitt - The Devil's Own (1997)
Accent - Irish
We'll give Pitt this: He tries hard. And he even sounds sort of authentic ... when all he's saying is "aye." To put it kindly, maybe he should have left the accents to his ex-girlfriend Gwyneth.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eup9BlYvVIY
Brad Pitt - Seven Years in Tibet (1997)
Accent - Austrian
Umm ... Austrians are supposed to sound like Germans, right? Forgive us if we're confused, but Pitt's accent here is so appallingly bad, he sounds more like his Irish character in The Devil's Own than any Austrian we've ever heard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAlSb3EjqmQ
Keanu Reeves - Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
Accent - British
Not only did Reeves bring this film to a near-standstill with his travesty against the British people, he did it again a year later, in Much Ado About Nothing. If we were the British government, we'd consider barring him from entering the country ever again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDdY6dh5dJc
Julia Roberts - Mary Reilly (1996)
Accent - Irish
OK, we get it. Irish accents are hard. But talking in your normal voice and then saying, "Sahrr... you said you had an AILness," does not an Irishwoman make.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jb87JTGoMg
John Malkovich - Rounders (1998)
Accent - Russian
Is Malkovich awesome as Teddy KGB? Yes. And even if that's because of his outrageously hammy accent, we can't lay down the fact that it sounds as if he's auditioning to play Chekov on Star Trek. "Meester son of a beetch! Let's play some carrrds!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qPgrCFcwFk
Dick Van Dyke - Mary Poppins (1964)
Accent - Cockney
Without a doubt, Van Dyke's Bert is one of the most beloved characters of all time (well, at least one of the most beloved chimney sweeps). But there's also no doubt that the sound of his Cockney accent is, as Mary would say, "something quite atrocious." Um-diddle-diddle, um-diddle-eye, guvnah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=te_Nv3lMUnA
Bonus
Nicolas Cage - Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001)
Accent - Italian
Reader Michelle astutely pointed out that we'd committed the terrible sin of omitting Nicolas Cage's atrocious Italian accent ("Bambina!") -- though in the end, our sin wasn't nearly as great as his. In our defense, we were so traumatized by his performance that we'd expunged it from our memories. Or we tried, anyway.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l345WSCfzts
http://insidemovies.moviefone.com/2009/08/26/worst-movie-accents/
Thinking back on Pitt's varied brogues over the years, we were inspired to compile our 15 favorite bad movie accents -- linguistic atrocities committed by some of the most esteemed actors of our time. (Oh, Sir Sean!) Along the way, we learned some interesting lessons: 1) consistency is key; 2) everyone thinks they can do a British accent, but they pretty much think wrong; and 3) if you're an actor who wants to keep your self-respect intact, don't ever, ever play Irish.
Sean Connery - The Untouchables (1987)
Accent - Irish
Yes, the Scottish Sir Sean won an Oscar with his portrayal of an Irish-American cop -- but for his acting, not his accent, which proved once and for all that Scottish and Irish accents aren't quite the same thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g0RLyxP13o
Kevin Costner - Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)
Accent - British
Bad movie accents come and go, but Costner's "now you hear it, now you don't" attempts at a British accent will stand the test of time. Who needs two Oscars when you've earned a distinction like that?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvPb_0P6mu8
Tom Cruise - Far and Away (1992)
Accent - Irish
We'd say that Cruise's accent reminds us of the Lucky Charms leprechaun ... but to be honest, that seems disrespectful to the leprechaun. (Nicole Kidman did an, um, interesting job as well -- where the heck was this movie's voice coach?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKhdf0aHmPw
Harrison Ford - K-19: The Widowmaker (2002)
Accent - Russian
Maybe we've been watching too much Rocky and Bullwinkle, but Ford's accent as Capt. Alexei Vostrikov is so over-the-top, you'd almost think he was playing the villain. Not so. Apparently even heroes can sound like cartoons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhTHS7sjTls
Tom Hanks - The Terminal (2004)
Accent - Krakozhian (fictional)
Krakozhia is a fictional country. But if Krakozhians actually existed, they'd be outraged -- outraged! -- by the way Hanks has mangled their made-up mother tongue.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQjnr1bvNI0
Charlton Heston - Touch of Evil (1958)
Accent - Mexican
Heston subscribes to the Kevin Costner school of intermittent accents. In fact, if it weren't for the fabulous tan and his pencil mustache, you might not know he's supposed to be Mexican at all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyNrgfBXWjQ
Angelina Jolie - Alexander (2004)
Accent - ?
It didn't seem possible, but watching Jolie's performance as the mother of Alexander the Great, our first thought -- for once! -- isn't how gorgeous she is. It's "What the heck accent IS that?" (For the record, she's supposed to be Greek.)
http://www.moviefone.com/movie/alexander/16409/video/alexander-clip-2-understand-how-philip/1210352
Nicole Kidman and Renée Zellwegger - Cold Mountain (2003)
Accent - Southern
Yet another Oscar winner makes our list (Sean Connery); but Zellweger has company in the weird Southern accents department. She goes harsh and twangy while Kidman goes soft and vague ... So different, yet both so very wrong.
http://www.moviefone.com/movie/cold-mountain/14956/video/first-look-cold-mountain-clip-1/1117552
Demi Moore - Flawless (2007)
Accent - British
It's an obvious joke, but we'll make it anyway: What certainly isn't Flawless about this movie? Moore's British accent. (Rimshot!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDEqMo79lr0
Brad Pitt - The Devil's Own (1997)
Accent - Irish
We'll give Pitt this: He tries hard. And he even sounds sort of authentic ... when all he's saying is "aye." To put it kindly, maybe he should have left the accents to his ex-girlfriend Gwyneth.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eup9BlYvVIY
Brad Pitt - Seven Years in Tibet (1997)
Accent - Austrian
Umm ... Austrians are supposed to sound like Germans, right? Forgive us if we're confused, but Pitt's accent here is so appallingly bad, he sounds more like his Irish character in The Devil's Own than any Austrian we've ever heard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAlSb3EjqmQ
Keanu Reeves - Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
Accent - British
Not only did Reeves bring this film to a near-standstill with his travesty against the British people, he did it again a year later, in Much Ado About Nothing. If we were the British government, we'd consider barring him from entering the country ever again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDdY6dh5dJc
Julia Roberts - Mary Reilly (1996)
Accent - Irish
OK, we get it. Irish accents are hard. But talking in your normal voice and then saying, "Sahrr... you said you had an AILness," does not an Irishwoman make.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jb87JTGoMg
John Malkovich - Rounders (1998)
Accent - Russian
Is Malkovich awesome as Teddy KGB? Yes. And even if that's because of his outrageously hammy accent, we can't lay down the fact that it sounds as if he's auditioning to play Chekov on Star Trek. "Meester son of a beetch! Let's play some carrrds!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qPgrCFcwFk
Dick Van Dyke - Mary Poppins (1964)
Accent - Cockney
Without a doubt, Van Dyke's Bert is one of the most beloved characters of all time (well, at least one of the most beloved chimney sweeps). But there's also no doubt that the sound of his Cockney accent is, as Mary would say, "something quite atrocious." Um-diddle-diddle, um-diddle-eye, guvnah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=te_Nv3lMUnA
Bonus
Nicolas Cage - Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001)
Accent - Italian
Reader Michelle astutely pointed out that we'd committed the terrible sin of omitting Nicolas Cage's atrocious Italian accent ("Bambina!") -- though in the end, our sin wasn't nearly as great as his. In our defense, we were so traumatized by his performance that we'd expunged it from our memories. Or we tried, anyway.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l345WSCfzts
http://insidemovies.moviefone.com/2009/08/26/worst-movie-accents/