At what age would you feel that you would like to have a child?

[Sharop]

In relation to the "How old were your parents when they had you" thread, I wondered, for all of you who want kids, how old would you like to be when you have your first? What do you consider (for yourself) to be an acceptable age?

I see nothing wrong with people having babies at younger ages (say 16-22) as long as they properly care for their children and love them, and I know there are many that do. I'm not sure yet if I want children, but for myself, I would want to be at least 25 when I had had my first, and would prefer to be a bit older than that - say 27/28.

Part of the reason for that is that I wasn't very social in my childhood and didn't properly start socialising and going out until I was about 18. I feel that I missed out on a lot of the "social life" and, now that I do go out with friends, I would like to keep that up for some years.

I also don't think I would be ready for a child until I was in my late twenties. I'm 20 now (I will be 21 in August) and at times feel like a 13-year-old. I have a very strong inner child, but I often feel very young. I certainly don't feel very grown up.

[YoliUSA]

Like you Sharop, I'm 21 and still feel very young. I still have lots of things that I want to accomplish and having a child at this age would ruin it, not to mention that I don't even have a boyfriend and the only way I would have a child is if I am in a stable marriage or relationship. I see myself having my first child at the age of 28-30. My parents had me, their firstborn, in their early thirties and they don't regret it.

[MickeyMac]

What age I want children 0


No children for me

[Furienna]

I'm 24 years old now (my 25th birthday will be in June). And if I only had a man in my life, I wouldn't mind having a child now.

[*Pleasant Tomorrow*]

Not til I'm about 30. I can't imagine having kids in a few years or even now like many people do. I still feel like a kid myself, and I can barely take care of myself let alone someone else. On top of that, I simply don't want to until I'm older. I want to live my life for me first and do my own thing before I settle down because to me, it's just that, settling down. I won't be ready to do that for a long time yet. I don't even want to get married until my mid to late 20's.

[LuLu Rogers]

I'll be 22 next month and I'd love to have a child when I'm 26 or 27, but the way things are going, I'll probably be close to 40 before that happens.

[dawsongirl]

I still feel like a teenager despite being almost 30. Plus, I have hundreds of kids at work. I'm good for now.

[Shine]

I still feel like a teenager despite being almost 30. Plus, I have hundreds of kids at work. I'm good for now.

You are only as old as you feel, Cathy. I still feel like a kid at heart too! :D

[Liza]

I'm nearly twenty-seven and all of my friends have kids already. When do I want kids? Sometime after I meet a halfway decent guy. :)

I wouldn't trust any of my ex-boyfriends to look after my cats, let alone a child.

[Schmoopie]

I'm 41 and back in 1990, after having a bad experience working in a day care, I decided never to have kids. Over the years, I thought maybe I would change my mind but my determination NOT to have them has only grown stronger. About half of my co-workers have at least one kid and probably a third of those are unmarried and in their early 20's.

What gets me is how everyone thinks you're supposed to have kids. Like it's a requirement. I get drilled on that every day at work by coworkers. Sometimes I've even lashed out at them. I'm serious! I get angry when people constantly hound me about how "Oh you'll have kids one day". It seriously makes me want to smack people that do that to me. I know that people in their 40's can have kids, but I just don't want to go through all the trouble. Fortunately, my husband has always felt the same way.

Plus, my husband and I travel a lot, and we couldn't do that if we had kids. So I have to laugh when people at work ask how we can afford to go to places like Australia and Hawaiil. It's simple. NO KIDS!

[Waterston_Fan]

I have decided at a young age to not have kids. Well, I'm not really a social type and it's hard for me to find a guy but then sometimes I'd rather stay single.

Those who get criticized for not having kids, you should tell them, wait till your kid starts misbehaving then we'll talk.

Okay, maybe not do that.

[Brad Russ]

NEVER. I don't ever want to take the chance of passing on my mental disabilities to my child. I see what hell it's been, and continues to be in my life, and would never want to put a child through that. Also, this is a scary time in the world, with scarier times ahead, and I wouldn't want to put that kind of pressure on a kid.

[Furienna]

I have mental disabilities too. But still, I think we have the same right to have children as anyone else. If I had a child, it would hardly be a "normal" kid. But still, disabled people have a right to be born too, even though we have problems. If you really don't want a child, then you of course shouldn't have any. But don't let your fear of passing on disabilities stop you from having a child.

[robyrob]

I would like to have a child that is at the age of 23, that way they are past both the awkward and the annoying stages of life.

...for now though I prefer to just borrow my nieces and nephews (who range from 6 months to 11 years old) for periods of up to 145 minutes - less if they are cranky, sticky or smelly.

[Hollywood Rock Chic]

NEVER. Even though, I do love children. I decided a long time ago, that I am too much of a free spirit to become a mom; and besides I am way too selfish and flighty; and being pregnant and giving birth never appealed to me.

[Brad Russ]

NEVER. Even though, I do love children. I decided a long time ago, that I am too much of a free spirit to become a mom; and besides I am way too selfish and flighty; and being pregnant and giving birth never appealed to me.

I also love children, and want to make that clear, I just think having children is right for some people, and wrong for others, and for me it's in the wrong category. I'm also too selfish to have a child. That's another part I forgot to write. I prefer my independance, and want to keep it that way!!

[Hollow]

probably never. life is full of pain, the world is a horrible place and i feel like i'm protecting my children by keeping them out of it. i'd only do it if i married someone who wanted kids. i'd probably have to be at least in my late 20's.

[Sharop]

probably never. life is full of pain, the world is a horrible place and i feel like i'm protecting my children by keeping them out of it. i'd only do it if i married someone who wanted kids. i'd probably have to be at least in my late 20's.

Have you ever thought about trying the New Age method of positive thinking and changing your thoughts and beliefs in order to create a reality for yourself that's more positive? :)

It is difficult to do, I admit.

[Hollywood Rock Chic]

I also love children, and want to make that clear, I just think having children is right for some people, and wrong for others, and for me it's in the wrong category. I'm also too selfish to have a child. That's another part I forgot to write. I prefer my independance, and want to keep it that way!!
I also value my independence; the main reason why I not only a mom, but another reason why I never had a strong desire to become married to someone.

Ha, ha..I am the type of person who likes to jump into my car and drive to Las Vegas for the weekend; that is hard to do when you have small children.

[MickeyMac]

This may sound selfish but one reason I dont want to have children is they are freaking expensive. I can barely take care of myself and can barely pay my bills, and what few funds I have left I like to spend on me like buying records for instance. If I had children I would hardly be able to buy any records. That said I like kids and I think for those who want them should have as many as they wish. Also since my father wasnt around I am not the father type and wouldnt have a clue as to be a father to a child. Also I like to go out and hang, and children take up that time.

[ZeldaGilroy]

I would like to have a baby right now. Honestly, it has always been my dream. I have three children whom I love dearly. They are the biological children of one of my siblings who is unable to care for them. They are the joy of my life. I really miss the baby-stage though because they are 11,9, and 6 now. Plus I have always wanted to carry and give birth to a baby myself. My three kids are always asking me when I will get married so they can have a little baby in the family, but I am 33 with no real prospects, so I don't know if it will ever happen for me. I thank God everyday for the three I have because I know what a blessing they are!

[beautifuldreamer]

I'll be 22 next month and I'd love to have a child when I'm 26 or 27, but the way things are going, I'll probably be close to 40 before that happens.
You might be surprised, Lauren... when my mom was 22, she swore off men completely, knowing she'd never find the right man for her. She said all men were idiots.:lol: Needless to say, the next year, she met and married my dad, and they've been married for 33 years... and have 3 kids, myself included :)... so don't worry, Lauren, you're too special not to find someone!:D

I would like to have kids anytime after I get married and my husband and I decide it's a good time. :)

[Shine]

I would like to have a baby right now. Honestly, it has always been my dream. I have three children whom I love dearly. They are the biological children of one of my siblings who is unable to care for them. They are the joy of my life. I really miss the baby-stage though because they are 11,9, and 6 now. Plus I have always wanted to carry and give birth to a baby myself. My three kids are always asking me when I will get married so they can have a little baby in the family, but I am 33 with no real prospects, so I don't know if it will ever happen for me. I thank God everyday for the three I have because I know what a blessing they are!

I think you can still have your own baby, Billie. You are only 33. When I was born by mom was 29 and my dad was 30. When my younger sister was born, my dad was 37 and my mom was less than a month away from being 36. So I think that you still have plenty of time. :)

[Shine]

I'll be 22 next month and I'd love to have a child when I'm 26 or 27, but the way things are going, I'll probably be close to 40 before that happens.

I don't think that you'll have to wait that long, Lauren. Mr. Right is out there somewhere. You may meet him tomorrow. :)

[Shine]

You might be surprised, Lauren... when my mom was 22, she swore off men completely, knowing she'd never find the right man for her. She said all men were idiots.:lol: Needless to say, the next year, she met and married my dad, and they've been married for 33 years... and have 3 kids, myself included :)... so don't worry, Lauren, you're too special not to find someone!:D

I would like to have kids anytime after I get married and my husband and I decide it's a good time. :)

If your parents have been married for 33 years, I'm guessing that you must be the baby of the family.

[beautifuldreamer]

If your parents have been married for 33 years, I'm guessing that you must be the baby of the family.

Actually no, Mike. I'm in the middle.. my parents had their first child (my older sister) after 11 years of marriage. :eek: :D and my mom had my younger brother right before her 39th birthday. She had kids way later in life.

[Shine]

Actually no, Mike. I'm in the middle.. my parents had their first child (my older sister) after 11 years of marriage. :eek: :D and my mom had my younger brother right before her 39th birthday. She had kids way later in life.

That's a little like my aunt and uncle (my mom's brother). They were married in April of 1978 (I was actually there, but being only a year and a half old I don't remember much :lol: ) and didn't have their children until 1985 and 1987.

[waichingliu81]

probably never for me. i was abused a lot when i was younger, not to mention i spent most of my teen years depressed and unhappy and so the idea of bringing someone into this world and for him/her to experience the type of grief and crap i had to go through and put up with, is just too much. not that i hate kids- rather i have no interest in having them and raising a family. too much stress and you have to devote a lot of your time looking after them. i am happy and single as it is.

but i have to give respect to all parents, single or together with their partner because they do a splendid job. well, apart from the ones who subject their kids to physical, mental and emotional abuse, that is.

[dawsongirl]

I'll end up adopting or something. I'll never find a guy, but I need someone to live for and who can take care of me when I get older, so adoption it is I guess.

I have no hope for the future.

[InspectorExstead]

I know I want to be over 30 when I decide to have children. I'm thinking 30-35. I want to finish school, have a secure job, and have money saved up before my future husband and I decide to have children. Oy, it seems so far away, but it's not at the same time...

[Schmoopie]

I feel like hugging all of you that say you never want kids! It's actually refreshing to read this because, as you saw in my last post on this site, I can get pretty defensive about the issue. Especially when I'm pressured by other people to explain why I don't want kids and then get a lecture on why I should have them.

:yourock: :bighug:

Andrea

[waichingliu81]

I feel like hugging all of you that say you never want kids! It's actually refreshing to read this because, as you saw in my last post on this site, I can get pretty defensive about the issue. Especially when I'm pressured by other people to explain why I don't want kids and then get a lecture on why I should have them.

:yourock: :bighug:

Andrea

it's like it is a compulsory thing to do and a requirement when that is absolutely not true. having children and getting married are choices in life- you have to decide for yourself whether it will be in the best interests of yourself to make these decisions. yet, you can be happy by being single without all the baggage. nobody should be forced into doing something they've been told do and yet they do not want to do themselves. especially, if it doesn't make them happy in the short and long term.

oh and no worries :).

[Crimson and Clover]

I had my first at 19 second at 22 and I guess i will be 24 when i have my third.

[Dragonflies]

I actually have decided that I don't ever want to have kids. I may change my mind down the line, but it's something I've thought about for years

[Dragonflies]

I feel like hugging all of you that say you never want kids! It's actually refreshing to read this because, as you saw in my last post on this site, I can get pretty defensive about the issue. Especially when I'm pressured by other people to explain why I don't want kids and then get a lecture on why I should have them.

:yourock: :bighug:

Andrea

Same here! I don't interact with many people who don't ever want kids.

I actually want to get my tubes tied, but I was told that most doctors won't do it unless you have kids.

Which I think is stupid, it's my body, I should be able to do that if I choose too

[coffield3]

Well I'm 27 now, and would love to have children one day..... it's just hard finding that right man!! :)

[waichingliu81]

Well I'm 27 now, and would love to have children one day..... it's just hard finding that right man!! :)

well, you'd be lucky to find one who looks like johnny depp for example ;)!

[beautifuldreamer]

well, you'd be lucky to find one who looks like johnny depp for example ;)!

You said it!!:D

[Shine]

I'll end up adopting or something. I'll never find a guy, but I need someone to live for and who can take care of me when I get older, so adoption it is I guess.

I have no hope for the future.

You have a boyfriend, Cathy. That means you have found a guy. I think that you''ll make a great mom. You're really good with children.

[coffield3]

well, you'd be lucky to find one who looks like johnny depp for example ;)!

:lol: I would have a football team of his babies!! :lol: ;)

[coffield3]

You said it!!:D

Hehe :D

[gidgetgrape]

Before 40 if I were having them naturally just for health reasons.

[waichingliu81]

:lol: I would have a football team of his babies!! :lol: ;)

teehee!:lol:

[dawsongirl]

it's like it is a compulsory thing to do and a requirement when that is absolutely not true. having children and getting married are choices in life- you have to decide for yourself whether it will be in the best interests of yourself to make these decisions. yet, you can be happy by being single without all the baggage. nobody should be forced into doing something they've been told do and yet they do not want to do themselves. especially, if it doesn't make them happy in the short and long term.

oh and no worries :).
I agree...I don't think it should be automatic that people have babies. I see so many kids who have terrible home lives and I wish their parents would just not have had kids. If you don't want kids, you shouldn't have them. There are enough people in this world as it is.

[Schmoopie]

Same here! I don't interact with many people who don't ever want kids.

I actually want to get my tubes tied, but I was told that most doctors won't do it unless you have kids.

Which I think is stupid, it's my body, I should be able to do that if I choose too

Back in April I was having some health issues, and my best friend at work told me that if they do an exam and advise me to get a hysterectomy, that I should do it. I was kind of surprised, but she said that it would probably take care of all those issues. She has 2 adult kids and is in her 50's but she said that having the surgery was the best thing she ever did. My husband isn't as enthusiatic, because he said he doesn't want to see me go through all of that. Awww!!!:loveya:
But then when I mentioned the issue to my mom, she told me that this was the same reason that she had a hysterectomy when she was 34. I had no idea. I always thought it was because she didn't want any more kids. Amazing, the things you learn as an adult that you aren't told as a kid!!!

That is really stupid that doctors won't do the tube-tying surgery either. I don't want to get into the abortion issue of right or wrong, but I would think that this type of surgery would be more favorable than the other.

Andrea