Frank Gannucci
05-02-2009, 09:06 AM
"Flushing Ho":
(Ed looks at the toaster.)
Ed: "The radiostat conductor is not making proper contact with the electrocoil."
Alice: "What does that mean?"
Ed: "There's a screw loose."
"The Safety Award":
Ralph: "A group of men are picked to do a job, trained in the same fashion as each other, and there's always one man in the group that stands out far in front of the others."
Ed: "If you stood out any more in front you wouldn't be able to get behind the wheel of a bus!"
"Songs & Witty Sayings Part 1":
Ralph & Ed (sing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE DAY, IN THE MERRY, MERRY, MONTH OF MAY, I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A PAIR OF ROUGHISH EYES..."
Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN THERE? I AM TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."
Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity."
(Ralph goes to the window and opens it.)
Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE
SALOON BURN DOWN?"
"Stars Over Flatbush":
Alice: "You mean that you are going to call your boss at 11:30 Friday night?"
Ralph: "Yes."
Alice: "Ralph, that's crazy. He might be fast asleep."
Ralph: "That's his tough luck."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
Ralph: "I'm the one in the family who's got it up here."
(Ralph points to his brain.)
Ed: "You got plenty of it down there too."
"Cottage For Sale Part 2":
(Ralph & Ed are in the really broken down cottage.)
Ralph: "$998, we have been robbed. What are we going to tell the girls? They will kill us. They will kill us after they saw the place in the showroom. What are we going to do?"
Ed: "If it was April 1st, we can jump up from behind them and yell: 'April Fool!'"
"Without Reservations":
(Everyone is in the really broken-down hotel.)
Ralph (to Ed): "You keep it up and you won't even be a bellhop. You'll be a..."
Alice: "Why don't you make him a guest? Nothing can be worse than that."
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):
Ralph: "I'm going to squeeze Mr. Marshall. He's in no position to squeeze me."
Alice: "Of course not. He couldn't even get his arms around you."
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):
Ralph: "There isn't anything in this world that's going to stop me from going down that sewer tomorrow and talking to Ed's boss."
Alice: "Oh no? There isn't a manhole in this city that you could fit through."
(Ed looks at the toaster.)
Ed: "The radiostat conductor is not making proper contact with the electrocoil."
Alice: "What does that mean?"
Ed: "There's a screw loose."
"The Safety Award":
Ralph: "A group of men are picked to do a job, trained in the same fashion as each other, and there's always one man in the group that stands out far in front of the others."
Ed: "If you stood out any more in front you wouldn't be able to get behind the wheel of a bus!"
"Songs & Witty Sayings Part 1":
Ralph & Ed (sing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE DAY, IN THE MERRY, MERRY, MONTH OF MAY, I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A PAIR OF ROUGHISH EYES..."
Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN THERE? I AM TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."
Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity."
(Ralph goes to the window and opens it.)
Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE
SALOON BURN DOWN?"
"Stars Over Flatbush":
Alice: "You mean that you are going to call your boss at 11:30 Friday night?"
Ralph: "Yes."
Alice: "Ralph, that's crazy. He might be fast asleep."
Ralph: "That's his tough luck."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
Ralph: "I'm the one in the family who's got it up here."
(Ralph points to his brain.)
Ed: "You got plenty of it down there too."
"Cottage For Sale Part 2":
(Ralph & Ed are in the really broken down cottage.)
Ralph: "$998, we have been robbed. What are we going to tell the girls? They will kill us. They will kill us after they saw the place in the showroom. What are we going to do?"
Ed: "If it was April 1st, we can jump up from behind them and yell: 'April Fool!'"
"Without Reservations":
(Everyone is in the really broken-down hotel.)
Ralph (to Ed): "You keep it up and you won't even be a bellhop. You'll be a..."
Alice: "Why don't you make him a guest? Nothing can be worse than that."
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):
Ralph: "I'm going to squeeze Mr. Marshall. He's in no position to squeeze me."
Alice: "Of course not. He couldn't even get his arms around you."
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):
Ralph: "There isn't anything in this world that's going to stop me from going down that sewer tomorrow and talking to Ed's boss."
Alice: "Oh no? There isn't a manhole in this city that you could fit through."