Frank Gannucci
03-28-2009, 11:18 AM
"We're Off To See The Wizard":
(The girls are upset that the boys paid Emma and Clarance $200. Emma & Clarance fooled the boys ino thinking that there was buried treasure and sold them the map that guided them to the place where the "treasure" was for $200.)
Alice: "You two have cost us $200."
Ed: "$208. We paid Clarance $8 to borrow the shovel from him."
"The Main Event":
Ralph: "Alice, come on out. Dynamite is here."
(Alice slams the bedroom door.)
Ralph: "I guess that she is still asleep."
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):
Ed: "Suppose they don't give me the promotion?"
Ralph: "Then you scare them. Tell them that after 17 years in the sewer, you are finally washing your hands of the whole thing."
"Jellybeans":
Ralph: "When I win that $100, I am going to get myself some bowling shoes, a leather lumber jacket, and you are going to get a string of pearls."
Alice: "Yeah, and if you lose, I will have a string of jellybeans around my neck."
"Goodbye Aunt Ethel Part 2":
(Aunt Ethel and Fred are alone in the kitchen. A record is being played.)
(Ed comes in.)
Ed: "Howdy folks. I heard the phonograph playing. I thought you would like some of my records better. Here is a good one."
(Ed puts it on.)
(Loud big band music plays. Ed dances to it.)
(Ralph comes out and takes Ed's record off.)
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT!"
"Alice & The Blonde":
Ralph: "It just so happens that the Raccoon Lodge is going through a financial crisis. And I'm the Treasurer Alice, I'm responsible. If I don't get some money into that treasury you know what might happen? The Bensonhurst chapter of the Raccoon Lodge may no longer be! Do you know what that means?"
Alice: "Yeah, real estate values in Bensonhurst will go up 100%."
"Hair-Raising Tale":
(One of Ralph's failed inventions that was revealed in this episode was Glow in the Dark shoeshine polish.)
Ed: "Mr. Mitchell, would you like to try shoeshine polish that glows in the dark?"
Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU SHUT UP?"
"Boy Next Door":
Ralph: "My dad once said this: 'For one of a sock, a shoe was lost. For one of a shoe, a horse was lost. For one of a horse, a war was lost. For one of a war...for one of a war...it was all lost.'"
Alice: "Yeah? Why don't you get lost?"
"Hair To A Fortune":
Ralph: "The more brains men have, the less hair they got."
(Alice puts her fingers in Ralph's hair.)
Alice: "I rest my case."
(The girls are upset that the boys paid Emma and Clarance $200. Emma & Clarance fooled the boys ino thinking that there was buried treasure and sold them the map that guided them to the place where the "treasure" was for $200.)
Alice: "You two have cost us $200."
Ed: "$208. We paid Clarance $8 to borrow the shovel from him."
"The Main Event":
Ralph: "Alice, come on out. Dynamite is here."
(Alice slams the bedroom door.)
Ralph: "I guess that she is still asleep."
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):
Ed: "Suppose they don't give me the promotion?"
Ralph: "Then you scare them. Tell them that after 17 years in the sewer, you are finally washing your hands of the whole thing."
"Jellybeans":
Ralph: "When I win that $100, I am going to get myself some bowling shoes, a leather lumber jacket, and you are going to get a string of pearls."
Alice: "Yeah, and if you lose, I will have a string of jellybeans around my neck."
"Goodbye Aunt Ethel Part 2":
(Aunt Ethel and Fred are alone in the kitchen. A record is being played.)
(Ed comes in.)
Ed: "Howdy folks. I heard the phonograph playing. I thought you would like some of my records better. Here is a good one."
(Ed puts it on.)
(Loud big band music plays. Ed dances to it.)
(Ralph comes out and takes Ed's record off.)
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT!"
"Alice & The Blonde":
Ralph: "It just so happens that the Raccoon Lodge is going through a financial crisis. And I'm the Treasurer Alice, I'm responsible. If I don't get some money into that treasury you know what might happen? The Bensonhurst chapter of the Raccoon Lodge may no longer be! Do you know what that means?"
Alice: "Yeah, real estate values in Bensonhurst will go up 100%."
"Hair-Raising Tale":
(One of Ralph's failed inventions that was revealed in this episode was Glow in the Dark shoeshine polish.)
Ed: "Mr. Mitchell, would you like to try shoeshine polish that glows in the dark?"
Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU SHUT UP?"
"Boy Next Door":
Ralph: "My dad once said this: 'For one of a sock, a shoe was lost. For one of a shoe, a horse was lost. For one of a horse, a war was lost. For one of a war...for one of a war...it was all lost.'"
Alice: "Yeah? Why don't you get lost?"
"Hair To A Fortune":
Ralph: "The more brains men have, the less hair they got."
(Alice puts her fingers in Ralph's hair.)
Alice: "I rest my case."