Frank Gannucci
03-27-2009, 08:41 AM
"Principle of The Thing":
Ed: "Don't you think that I should be climbing on that ladder?"
Ralph: "So, you are saying that I'm too fat to climb this ladder. Why don't you just say it?"
Ed: "I don't have to. You just did."
Ralph: "My wife may not be alone on the moon."
(Ralph goes into the bedroom with the ladder. He climbs up it.)
Ralph (falling, yells): "DUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Move Uptown":
(Everyone is outside helping the Kramdens move.)
Ralph: "Where is Norton? We got to load the trailer?"
Trixie: "I don't know."
(Crash! Clatter! Bing! Bang! Boom! Ed comes down with pots and pans tied on him.)
Ralph: "Why are you making so much noise for?"
Ed: "Shh."
Ralph: "Don't 'shh' me."
Trixie: "Did you get hurt?"
Ed: "No, luckily the pots and pans broke my fall."
"Dial J For Janitor":
Ralph: "Why should I quit bowling? It's my only relaxation. Besides, the exercise is good for me to keep down my weight."
Alice: "You don't need something to keep your weight down. You need something to hold it up."
"The Sleepwalker":
(The doctor gives Ed a shot.)
Doctor: "I want you to count backwards from 100."
Ed: "100...99...98...97...3."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(The G.F. is going to hypnotize Alice so she can let Ralph find out where she hid the money.)
Ralph (to the G.F.): "You might think that this is a little underhanded. But, all's fair in love and war."
Alice: "In this family, it's a little bit of both."
"To Whom It May Concern":
(Ralph is getting Ed to write the nasty remarks that he wants in his letter to the boss.)
Ralph: "I don't know what else to say."
Ed: "Maybe it's a good time for you to say that you want your job back."
"Flushing Ho":
(The Kramdens bought a duplex and has the Nortons as tenants because the landlord didn't fix anything. Ralph is refusing to fix things in Ed's apartment.)
Ralph: "When we were tenants in the other place, the landlord wouldn't fix anything over there. Did he?"
Ed: "I know, that's why we moved in here. Remember?"
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
(Ralph and Ed try to lift the dresser.)
Ralph: "I'll count to three and on three we lift and then we heave ho. One..two...three."
(Ralph lifts the dresser but he can't lift his side of the dresser.)
Ralph (yells): "ARRRRRRGGGGH!" (normal voice): "Why didn't you lift?"
Ed: "We didn't heave ho."
"A Promotion Part 1":
(Ralph has just told Alice not to tell the Nortons about his promotion, but unbeknownst to Ralph, she did.)
Ralph: "I have been promoted. I am now an executive."
Ed: "What a surprise."
(Ed tries to act like he's surprised.)
Ralph (to Alice): "So you told him huh?"
Ed: "Don't you think that I should be climbing on that ladder?"
Ralph: "So, you are saying that I'm too fat to climb this ladder. Why don't you just say it?"
Ed: "I don't have to. You just did."
Ralph: "My wife may not be alone on the moon."
(Ralph goes into the bedroom with the ladder. He climbs up it.)
Ralph (falling, yells): "DUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Move Uptown":
(Everyone is outside helping the Kramdens move.)
Ralph: "Where is Norton? We got to load the trailer?"
Trixie: "I don't know."
(Crash! Clatter! Bing! Bang! Boom! Ed comes down with pots and pans tied on him.)
Ralph: "Why are you making so much noise for?"
Ed: "Shh."
Ralph: "Don't 'shh' me."
Trixie: "Did you get hurt?"
Ed: "No, luckily the pots and pans broke my fall."
"Dial J For Janitor":
Ralph: "Why should I quit bowling? It's my only relaxation. Besides, the exercise is good for me to keep down my weight."
Alice: "You don't need something to keep your weight down. You need something to hold it up."
"The Sleepwalker":
(The doctor gives Ed a shot.)
Doctor: "I want you to count backwards from 100."
Ed: "100...99...98...97...3."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(The G.F. is going to hypnotize Alice so she can let Ralph find out where she hid the money.)
Ralph (to the G.F.): "You might think that this is a little underhanded. But, all's fair in love and war."
Alice: "In this family, it's a little bit of both."
"To Whom It May Concern":
(Ralph is getting Ed to write the nasty remarks that he wants in his letter to the boss.)
Ralph: "I don't know what else to say."
Ed: "Maybe it's a good time for you to say that you want your job back."
"Flushing Ho":
(The Kramdens bought a duplex and has the Nortons as tenants because the landlord didn't fix anything. Ralph is refusing to fix things in Ed's apartment.)
Ralph: "When we were tenants in the other place, the landlord wouldn't fix anything over there. Did he?"
Ed: "I know, that's why we moved in here. Remember?"
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
(Ralph and Ed try to lift the dresser.)
Ralph: "I'll count to three and on three we lift and then we heave ho. One..two...three."
(Ralph lifts the dresser but he can't lift his side of the dresser.)
Ralph (yells): "ARRRRRRGGGGH!" (normal voice): "Why didn't you lift?"
Ed: "We didn't heave ho."
"A Promotion Part 1":
(Ralph has just told Alice not to tell the Nortons about his promotion, but unbeknownst to Ralph, she did.)
Ralph: "I have been promoted. I am now an executive."
Ed: "What a surprise."
(Ed tries to act like he's surprised.)
Ralph (to Alice): "So you told him huh?"