Frank Gannucci
03-25-2009, 02:59 PM
"The Sleepwalker":
Ralph: "All right Weisenhemimer. I am now going to put the key in a place which even if you know that it was there, you wouldn't be able to get it. I am going to put it under my pillow. Now, you will have to lift me up bodily in order to get the key."
Ed: "I got to hand it to you Ralph. You came up with something even Dick Tracy couldn't solve."
"Game Called On Account of Marriage":
Ralph: "Grogan, if you had two tickets to a World Series game and your sister-in-law was going to get married at the same time as the game, where would you go?"
Grogan: "I would go to the wedding."
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"
"Stars Over Flatbush":
(Ralph is trying to scratch an itch on his back by rubbing his back on the ice box. Ed comes in.)
Ed: "What do you say there Taurus?"
Ralph: "I was trying to scratch an itch that I couldn't reach."
Ed: "Oh, for a minute there I thought you were practicing the ol' Shake, Rattle & Roll."
"Mama Loves Mambo":
Ralph: "You mean that fter taking one look at that Carlos, you are going to give him Trixie's potato salad?"
Ed: "Of course. This will fix his wagon. Before I started eating Trixie's cooking, I was a regular Clark Gable."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ralph: "Just for that remark Alice, when we get to Fred's Landing, I won't introduce you to Fred."
Alice: "From this blow, I may never recover."
"Norton Moves In" (Color version):
(Ralph gets hurt by Norton's lit cigarette that Norton accidently dropped.)
Alice: "What happened?"
Ralph (yells): "NORTON WANTED TO HAVE A CIGARETTE."
Alice: "So?"
Ralph (yells): "HE USED ME FOR AN ASHTRAY."
"Movies Are Better Than Ever":
Alice: "How could you even think of going to the movies when Ed took you to the Kit Kat Club on your birthday?"
Ralph: "Did I ask him to take me there? Did I ask him?"
Alice: "No, you suggested going to the Copa."
"Young Man With A Horn":
Ralph: "I don't remember the song I used to play on this cornette. I got the music right here."
(Ralph plays the cornette. No sound is heard.)
Alice: "Not so loud Ralph. You will disturb the neighbors."
"Ralph Kramden Presents":
(Jackie Gleason is in the other room.)
Ed: "Why do you think everyone gave Jackie the nickname 'The Fat One'?"
Ralph: "That's 'The Great One.'"
Ralph: "All right Weisenhemimer. I am now going to put the key in a place which even if you know that it was there, you wouldn't be able to get it. I am going to put it under my pillow. Now, you will have to lift me up bodily in order to get the key."
Ed: "I got to hand it to you Ralph. You came up with something even Dick Tracy couldn't solve."
"Game Called On Account of Marriage":
Ralph: "Grogan, if you had two tickets to a World Series game and your sister-in-law was going to get married at the same time as the game, where would you go?"
Grogan: "I would go to the wedding."
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"
"Stars Over Flatbush":
(Ralph is trying to scratch an itch on his back by rubbing his back on the ice box. Ed comes in.)
Ed: "What do you say there Taurus?"
Ralph: "I was trying to scratch an itch that I couldn't reach."
Ed: "Oh, for a minute there I thought you were practicing the ol' Shake, Rattle & Roll."
"Mama Loves Mambo":
Ralph: "You mean that fter taking one look at that Carlos, you are going to give him Trixie's potato salad?"
Ed: "Of course. This will fix his wagon. Before I started eating Trixie's cooking, I was a regular Clark Gable."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ralph: "Just for that remark Alice, when we get to Fred's Landing, I won't introduce you to Fred."
Alice: "From this blow, I may never recover."
"Norton Moves In" (Color version):
(Ralph gets hurt by Norton's lit cigarette that Norton accidently dropped.)
Alice: "What happened?"
Ralph (yells): "NORTON WANTED TO HAVE A CIGARETTE."
Alice: "So?"
Ralph (yells): "HE USED ME FOR AN ASHTRAY."
"Movies Are Better Than Ever":
Alice: "How could you even think of going to the movies when Ed took you to the Kit Kat Club on your birthday?"
Ralph: "Did I ask him to take me there? Did I ask him?"
Alice: "No, you suggested going to the Copa."
"Young Man With A Horn":
Ralph: "I don't remember the song I used to play on this cornette. I got the music right here."
(Ralph plays the cornette. No sound is heard.)
Alice: "Not so loud Ralph. You will disturb the neighbors."
"Ralph Kramden Presents":
(Jackie Gleason is in the other room.)
Ed: "Why do you think everyone gave Jackie the nickname 'The Fat One'?"
Ralph: "That's 'The Great One.'"