Frank Gannucci
03-08-2009, 04:24 PM
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
Ralph: "This is my guest and I'm your employer."
Thelma: "Some guest and some employer. The SIMP and the BLIMP."
"A Little Man Who Wasn't There":
Ed: "A doctor once told me that I had a split-personality. I was two people. One was Ed Norton: The gay, carefree man-about-town. The other one was Ed Norton: The sober, serious-minded thinker."
Ralph: "What happened?"
Ed: "I got cured. I got cured. I am now one person. I am Ed Norton: The sober, serious-minded thinker."
"Petticoat Jungle":
(Ed picks up a cricket bat.)
Ed: "What is it used for?"
Ralph: "To kill crickets."
"Petticoat Jungle":
Ed: "How would you like to bag an elephant Alice?"
Alice: "I already did."
"TV or Not TV":
Ralph: "You once said: 'Ralph, I will be happy to live in a tent with you.'"
Alice: "I still am. I think it would be an improvement."
"A Promotion Part 1":
(Ralph has just told Alice not to tell the Nortons about his promotion, but unbeknownst to Ralph, she did.)
Ralph: "I have been promoted. I am now an executive."
Ed: "What a surprise."
(Ed tries to act like he's surprised.)
Ralph (to Alice): "So you told him huh?"
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ed (looking at a map): "Here's New York City, that is where we started from. Then we go through the Lincoln Tunnel. This black dot here is Jersey City. This black dot here is Bayoone."
Ralph: "Well, Bayoone moving. That's an ant."
Ed: "Let's follow the ant. He looks like he knows where he is going."
"Ralph Kramden Inc.":
Ralph: "I am not nervous, Alice. I am not nervous. I may be a little excited about inheriting $40,000,000, but I am not nervous."
(Ralph polishes his sock.)
Alice: "You are not nervous Ralph. You are not nervous at all. You just read in Esquire about how the well-dressed man always polishes his sock."
"Rafitti, Brooklyn Style":
Ralph: "For once you are right. Alice should have married Johnny Farell. He's a much smarter guy than I am."
Alice's Mom: "So you admit it."
Ralph: "Sure. He took one look at you and refused to marry her."
Ralph: "This is my guest and I'm your employer."
Thelma: "Some guest and some employer. The SIMP and the BLIMP."
"A Little Man Who Wasn't There":
Ed: "A doctor once told me that I had a split-personality. I was two people. One was Ed Norton: The gay, carefree man-about-town. The other one was Ed Norton: The sober, serious-minded thinker."
Ralph: "What happened?"
Ed: "I got cured. I got cured. I am now one person. I am Ed Norton: The sober, serious-minded thinker."
"Petticoat Jungle":
(Ed picks up a cricket bat.)
Ed: "What is it used for?"
Ralph: "To kill crickets."
"Petticoat Jungle":
Ed: "How would you like to bag an elephant Alice?"
Alice: "I already did."
"TV or Not TV":
Ralph: "You once said: 'Ralph, I will be happy to live in a tent with you.'"
Alice: "I still am. I think it would be an improvement."
"A Promotion Part 1":
(Ralph has just told Alice not to tell the Nortons about his promotion, but unbeknownst to Ralph, she did.)
Ralph: "I have been promoted. I am now an executive."
Ed: "What a surprise."
(Ed tries to act like he's surprised.)
Ralph (to Alice): "So you told him huh?"
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ed (looking at a map): "Here's New York City, that is where we started from. Then we go through the Lincoln Tunnel. This black dot here is Jersey City. This black dot here is Bayoone."
Ralph: "Well, Bayoone moving. That's an ant."
Ed: "Let's follow the ant. He looks like he knows where he is going."
"Ralph Kramden Inc.":
Ralph: "I am not nervous, Alice. I am not nervous. I may be a little excited about inheriting $40,000,000, but I am not nervous."
(Ralph polishes his sock.)
Alice: "You are not nervous Ralph. You are not nervous at all. You just read in Esquire about how the well-dressed man always polishes his sock."
"Rafitti, Brooklyn Style":
Ralph: "For once you are right. Alice should have married Johnny Farell. He's a much smarter guy than I am."
Alice's Mom: "So you admit it."
Ralph: "Sure. He took one look at you and refused to marry her."