Frank Gannucci
03-07-2009, 09:25 AM
"The Deciding Vote":
(Ralph turns on the vaccum cleaner. It doesn't work.)
Ed: "I think that motor needs a drop or erl."
Ralph: "Yeah, that is all that it needs. A drop of oil."
Alice: "A drop of oil? It wouldn't help if you dipped it in Texas."
"Ralph's Sweet Tooth":
Alice: "I read in a magazine once where they said 50% of the pain is mental. 50% of that toothache is here (in the mouth). The other 50% is here (head)."
Ralph: "For your information, 100% of it is in here (mouth). There is nothing up there (head)."
"Pal O' Mine":
Ralph: "Is there any lard around here?"
Alice: "Yeah, about 300 lbs. of it."
"Pal O' Mine":
(Ed just showed the ring that he is going to give to his boss, Jim McKeever.)
Alice: "Why didn't you get the store where you got this from to gift-wrap it for you?"
Ed: "Oh, they got some silly rule down there. 'No gift-wrapping for any purchase less than $3."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(The boys come home.)
Ralph: "Shh! Alice is asleep."
Ed: "What?"
Ralph: "I said that Alice is asleep."
Ed: "I can't hear you."
Alice (from bedroom): "He said: 'Shh! Alice is asleep.'"
"The Hypnotist Part 1":
Ralph: "This furniture is good for me."
Alice: "Sure it is. But, just because you are a Raccoon doens't mean that I have to live in a hole in the ground."
"Peacemaker":
Ralph: "You know that when I lay down on that bed, it takes me an hour to get to sleep."
Alice: "Remarkable. Every night for fifty-nine minutes, you snore before you go to sleep."
"Flushing Ho":
(Ed comes out with a sailboat. Ralph wants to take a bath.)
Ralph: "You don't mean to tell me that you kept me waiting out here for 20 minutes while you were in there playing with a boat in the tub?"
Ed: "I'm sorry Ralph. This is a new boat. We were on the Shakedown Cruise!"
"Boy Next Door":
(Ralph and Mrs. Paterson think that Ed loves Alice but the feeling isn't matual.)
Mrs. Paterson: "Why don't you give your wife the benefit of a doubt?"
Ralph: "All right, maybe they don't love each other but if they do, they are going to have a lot of fun on the moon."
"Ship Of Fools":
(The photographer feels Alice's leg.)
Ralph (yells): "HEY! HEY! HEY!"
Alice: "All he wants is a little chesse cake."
Ralph: "Why doesn't he go to a deli then?"
(Ralph turns on the vaccum cleaner. It doesn't work.)
Ed: "I think that motor needs a drop or erl."
Ralph: "Yeah, that is all that it needs. A drop of oil."
Alice: "A drop of oil? It wouldn't help if you dipped it in Texas."
"Ralph's Sweet Tooth":
Alice: "I read in a magazine once where they said 50% of the pain is mental. 50% of that toothache is here (in the mouth). The other 50% is here (head)."
Ralph: "For your information, 100% of it is in here (mouth). There is nothing up there (head)."
"Pal O' Mine":
Ralph: "Is there any lard around here?"
Alice: "Yeah, about 300 lbs. of it."
"Pal O' Mine":
(Ed just showed the ring that he is going to give to his boss, Jim McKeever.)
Alice: "Why didn't you get the store where you got this from to gift-wrap it for you?"
Ed: "Oh, they got some silly rule down there. 'No gift-wrapping for any purchase less than $3."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(The boys come home.)
Ralph: "Shh! Alice is asleep."
Ed: "What?"
Ralph: "I said that Alice is asleep."
Ed: "I can't hear you."
Alice (from bedroom): "He said: 'Shh! Alice is asleep.'"
"The Hypnotist Part 1":
Ralph: "This furniture is good for me."
Alice: "Sure it is. But, just because you are a Raccoon doens't mean that I have to live in a hole in the ground."
"Peacemaker":
Ralph: "You know that when I lay down on that bed, it takes me an hour to get to sleep."
Alice: "Remarkable. Every night for fifty-nine minutes, you snore before you go to sleep."
"Flushing Ho":
(Ed comes out with a sailboat. Ralph wants to take a bath.)
Ralph: "You don't mean to tell me that you kept me waiting out here for 20 minutes while you were in there playing with a boat in the tub?"
Ed: "I'm sorry Ralph. This is a new boat. We were on the Shakedown Cruise!"
"Boy Next Door":
(Ralph and Mrs. Paterson think that Ed loves Alice but the feeling isn't matual.)
Mrs. Paterson: "Why don't you give your wife the benefit of a doubt?"
Ralph: "All right, maybe they don't love each other but if they do, they are going to have a lot of fun on the moon."
"Ship Of Fools":
(The photographer feels Alice's leg.)
Ralph (yells): "HEY! HEY! HEY!"
Alice: "All he wants is a little chesse cake."
Ralph: "Why doesn't he go to a deli then?"