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Frank Gannucci
03-05-2009, 08:18 AM
"A Matter of Record":

Alice: "Ralph, I told you that I don't want you calling her that."

Ralph: "Okay, you are an expert on crossword puzzles. Give me another word for 'blabbermouth.'"

"Out of Sight, Out of Mind":

Ralph: "Can you take a hint?"

Ed: "Yes."

Ralph: "All right." (yells): "I HATE YOU! HATE YOU! HATE YOU! NOW GET OUT!"

Ed: "Okay. What's the hint?"

"Songwriters":

Ralph: "Berlin threw away a lot of bad lines."

Alice: "Yeah, if you can only find out where he threw them."

"Stars Over Flatbush":

(Ralph is trying to scratch an itch on his back by rubbing his back on the ice box. Ed comes in.)

Ed: "What do you say there Taurus?"

Ralph: "I was trying to scratch an itch that I couldn't reach."

Ed: "Oh, for a minute there I thought you were practicing the ol' Shake, Rattle & Roll."

"Mama Loves Mambo":

Ralph: "You mean that after taking one look at that Carlos, you are going to give him Trixie's potato salad?"

Ed: "Of course. This will fix his wagon. Before I started eating Trixie's cooking, I was a regular Clark Gable."

"Vacation At Fred's Landing":

Ralph: "Just for that remark Alice, when we get to Fred's Landing, I won't introduce you to Fred."

Alice: "From this blow, I may never recover."

"Better Living Through TV":

Ralph: "This (the Handy Housewife Helper) is the key to my future. The key to my future."

Alice: "Don't tell me that it has a key for opening the door at Bellevue?"

"Norton Moves In" (Color version):

(Ralph gets hurt by Norton's lit cigarette that Norton accidently dropped.)

Alice: "What happened?"

Ralph (yells): "NORTON WANTED TO HAVE A CIGARETTE."

Alice: "So?"

Ralph (yells): "HE USED ME FOR AN ASHTRAY."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

Alice: "How could you even think of going to the movies when Ed took you to the Kit Kat Club on your birthday?"

Ralph: "Did I ask him to take me there? Did I ask him?"

Alice: "No, you suggested going to the Copa."