Frank Gannucci
03-03-2009, 10:08 PM
"Opportunity Knocks, But":
Ralph: "After tonight, I may have my own pool table in my apartment."
Ed: "If you do, you would have to stand on the sink to make a shot."
"Please Leave The Premises":
Alice: "You got holes in your gloves. Fix the silverware."
Ralph: "How would you like to have some fingers in your nose?"
"Please Leave The Premises":
Ralph: "Why can't you get behind me?"
Alice: "It's not my fault Ralph. It's just that there is no room back there."
"A Promotion Part 1":
Ralph: "A derrick couldn't get me out of this chair."
Alice: "A good big one might be able to."
"A Promotion Part 1":
Ralph: "I know how to throw my weight around."
Alice: "If you did, you wouldn't leave it where it is."
"Champagne & Caviar":
Mr. Marshall: "How did you get a job in the sewer?"
Ed: "Just lucky. I guess."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
(Alice is upset that Ralph & Ed are practicing for the talent show during the wee hours.)
Ralph (to Alice, yells): "NOW GO TO BED!!"
Alice: "Aaaah."
(Alice goes to bed.)
Ralph (to Alice): "Oooh, you are flirting with death."
"To Whom It May Concern":
(Ralph says what he wants Ed to say in a letter to his boss.)
Ralph: "'You dirty bum!'"
Ed: "Don't you think that that is a little rough for a starter?"
Ralph: "Maybe your right. "Dear Mr. Marshall:...'"
Ed: "That's better."
Ralph: "'...You dirty bum!'"
"Boy Next Door":
(Ralph thinks that Ed & Alice are lovers. Ed is in Ralph's home.)
Alice: "Excuse me sweetheart."
Ralph: "Who are you calling 'sweetheart.'"
Alice: "Norton. Who else?"
(AmericanLife TV):
(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)
TV-G
All times are Eastern.
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.
Fri. March 6 10p & Sat. March 7, 2009 12a #4 (aka #157) - "Confusion Italian Style": Ralph is jealous of Alice's guide, not knowing the guide is a little boy. (5728/93148)
Fri. March 13 10p & Sat March 14, 2009 12a #5 (aka #158) - "The Curse of the Kramdens": Ralph & Ed have to spend the night in the ancestral Kramden castle, which has its very own ghost. (5961/47049)
(WPIX) & (WPIXD):
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
Mon. March 9, 2009 1a #010 (aka #101) - "Hello Mom": Ralph and Alice Kramden (Jackie Gleason, Audrey Meadows) squabble over the impending arrival of Ralph's mother-in-law in this classic, and ultimately touching, episode. The king is told that his castle is soon to be invaded by Alice's mom. Ralph painfully remembers how his mother-in-law said at his wedding, "I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a ton," and refuses to let her visit. But when Alice stands up to him and insists her mother's coming, Ralph decides to move in with the Nortons until the visit is over. Humor and poignancy meet in a conclusion that once again shows Alice, who sees beyond Ralph's insecurities, to be the bigger person. (WPIX: 71098. WPIXD: 11538.)
1:30a (CC?) Episode information is unavailable. (WPIX: 39083. WPIXD: 43625)
Mon. March 16, 2009 1a #021 (aka #112) - "A Dog's Life": Ralph gets another one of his half-baked ideas after he samples a tasty dish he found in his ice box in "A Dog's Life," which was originally telecast Feb. 18, 1956. Convinced that the unusual cracker-spread will satisfy the public's appetite for a snack that's new and different, Ralph asks his boss, Mr. Marshall, to taste the dish in the hope that he'll bankroll production. Ralph's even cooked up a name for the culinary delight: "KramMar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer." Marshall tries it and likes it, and asks Ralph if the recipe is exclusively his wife's or if Alice's mother helped out. "Anything she'd cook I wouldn't give to a dog," Ralph replies. But Marshall wants some other opinions, so he calls in his assistants for another taste test. (WPIX: 78451. WPIXD: 10351.)
1:30a (CC) #050 (aka #137) - *“Love Letter” (1956 version): Ralph fears Norton and Alice are having an affair after finding a love letter from Norton he thinks is intended for Alice. (WPIX: 41326. WPIXD: 55968.)
(WGN America) (Not WGN's Chicago feed):
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
All episodes on WGN America are in CC.
Sun. March 8, 2009 12a #96 (aka #21/#42) – “‘Suspense’/‘Two Tickets To The Fight’”: (For “Suspense”): Ralph overhears Alice rehearsing her part in a play and thinks she is planning to kill=2 0him. (For “Two Tickets To The Fight”): Ralph's plans to see the fights with Norton are ruined when Alice's uncle comes to visit. (305040)
9p #93 (aka #83) – “A Promotion (Part One)”: On his first day as assistant cashier of the Bus Company, Ralph accidentally locks the safe and must keep the money at home overnight. (124589)
9:30p #94 – “A Promotion (Part Two)”: So Alice won't find out about Ralph's blunder, he and Norton hide the money in a brown bag and put it in the icebox. Everything is fine until Alice decides to defrost the refrigerator. (179427)
Sun. March 15, 2009 12a #99 (aka #131/#27)– “‘Double Anniversary Party’”/‘Lunchbox’”: (For “Double Anniversary Party”): Alice plans a surprise anniversary party for Ralph on the same night that Ralph has made plans to surprise Alice. (For “Lunchbox”): When Ralph's lunch box gets accidentally switched at work; he blames Alice for making him an inedible lunch. (609863)
1a #97 (aka #79) – “Hero (Part One)”: Tommy, a fatherless boy, begins to idolize Ralph, inspiring Ralph to tell the boy exaggerated tales of his own boyhood. (351554)
1:30a #98 – “Hero (Part Two)”: Tommy asks Ralph to attend a Boy Scout competition with him, thinking Ralph will win all of the events because of Ralph's exaggerations. (440912)
*: This episode has been edited HEAVILY.
Credit goes to tvguide.com, tvland.com, the old honeymooners.net, wpix.com and wgnamerica.com.
Ralph: "After tonight, I may have my own pool table in my apartment."
Ed: "If you do, you would have to stand on the sink to make a shot."
"Please Leave The Premises":
Alice: "You got holes in your gloves. Fix the silverware."
Ralph: "How would you like to have some fingers in your nose?"
"Please Leave The Premises":
Ralph: "Why can't you get behind me?"
Alice: "It's not my fault Ralph. It's just that there is no room back there."
"A Promotion Part 1":
Ralph: "A derrick couldn't get me out of this chair."
Alice: "A good big one might be able to."
"A Promotion Part 1":
Ralph: "I know how to throw my weight around."
Alice: "If you did, you wouldn't leave it where it is."
"Champagne & Caviar":
Mr. Marshall: "How did you get a job in the sewer?"
Ed: "Just lucky. I guess."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
(Alice is upset that Ralph & Ed are practicing for the talent show during the wee hours.)
Ralph (to Alice, yells): "NOW GO TO BED!!"
Alice: "Aaaah."
(Alice goes to bed.)
Ralph (to Alice): "Oooh, you are flirting with death."
"To Whom It May Concern":
(Ralph says what he wants Ed to say in a letter to his boss.)
Ralph: "'You dirty bum!'"
Ed: "Don't you think that that is a little rough for a starter?"
Ralph: "Maybe your right. "Dear Mr. Marshall:...'"
Ed: "That's better."
Ralph: "'...You dirty bum!'"
"Boy Next Door":
(Ralph thinks that Ed & Alice are lovers. Ed is in Ralph's home.)
Alice: "Excuse me sweetheart."
Ralph: "Who are you calling 'sweetheart.'"
Alice: "Norton. Who else?"
(AmericanLife TV):
(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)
TV-G
All times are Eastern.
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.
Fri. March 6 10p & Sat. March 7, 2009 12a #4 (aka #157) - "Confusion Italian Style": Ralph is jealous of Alice's guide, not knowing the guide is a little boy. (5728/93148)
Fri. March 13 10p & Sat March 14, 2009 12a #5 (aka #158) - "The Curse of the Kramdens": Ralph & Ed have to spend the night in the ancestral Kramden castle, which has its very own ghost. (5961/47049)
(WPIX) & (WPIXD):
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
Mon. March 9, 2009 1a #010 (aka #101) - "Hello Mom": Ralph and Alice Kramden (Jackie Gleason, Audrey Meadows) squabble over the impending arrival of Ralph's mother-in-law in this classic, and ultimately touching, episode. The king is told that his castle is soon to be invaded by Alice's mom. Ralph painfully remembers how his mother-in-law said at his wedding, "I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a ton," and refuses to let her visit. But when Alice stands up to him and insists her mother's coming, Ralph decides to move in with the Nortons until the visit is over. Humor and poignancy meet in a conclusion that once again shows Alice, who sees beyond Ralph's insecurities, to be the bigger person. (WPIX: 71098. WPIXD: 11538.)
1:30a (CC?) Episode information is unavailable. (WPIX: 39083. WPIXD: 43625)
Mon. March 16, 2009 1a #021 (aka #112) - "A Dog's Life": Ralph gets another one of his half-baked ideas after he samples a tasty dish he found in his ice box in "A Dog's Life," which was originally telecast Feb. 18, 1956. Convinced that the unusual cracker-spread will satisfy the public's appetite for a snack that's new and different, Ralph asks his boss, Mr. Marshall, to taste the dish in the hope that he'll bankroll production. Ralph's even cooked up a name for the culinary delight: "KramMar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer." Marshall tries it and likes it, and asks Ralph if the recipe is exclusively his wife's or if Alice's mother helped out. "Anything she'd cook I wouldn't give to a dog," Ralph replies. But Marshall wants some other opinions, so he calls in his assistants for another taste test. (WPIX: 78451. WPIXD: 10351.)
1:30a (CC) #050 (aka #137) - *“Love Letter” (1956 version): Ralph fears Norton and Alice are having an affair after finding a love letter from Norton he thinks is intended for Alice. (WPIX: 41326. WPIXD: 55968.)
(WGN America) (Not WGN's Chicago feed):
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
All episodes on WGN America are in CC.
Sun. March 8, 2009 12a #96 (aka #21/#42) – “‘Suspense’/‘Two Tickets To The Fight’”: (For “Suspense”): Ralph overhears Alice rehearsing her part in a play and thinks she is planning to kill=2 0him. (For “Two Tickets To The Fight”): Ralph's plans to see the fights with Norton are ruined when Alice's uncle comes to visit. (305040)
9p #93 (aka #83) – “A Promotion (Part One)”: On his first day as assistant cashier of the Bus Company, Ralph accidentally locks the safe and must keep the money at home overnight. (124589)
9:30p #94 – “A Promotion (Part Two)”: So Alice won't find out about Ralph's blunder, he and Norton hide the money in a brown bag and put it in the icebox. Everything is fine until Alice decides to defrost the refrigerator. (179427)
Sun. March 15, 2009 12a #99 (aka #131/#27)– “‘Double Anniversary Party’”/‘Lunchbox’”: (For “Double Anniversary Party”): Alice plans a surprise anniversary party for Ralph on the same night that Ralph has made plans to surprise Alice. (For “Lunchbox”): When Ralph's lunch box gets accidentally switched at work; he blames Alice for making him an inedible lunch. (609863)
1a #97 (aka #79) – “Hero (Part One)”: Tommy, a fatherless boy, begins to idolize Ralph, inspiring Ralph to tell the boy exaggerated tales of his own boyhood. (351554)
1:30a #98 – “Hero (Part Two)”: Tommy asks Ralph to attend a Boy Scout competition with him, thinking Ralph will win all of the events because of Ralph's exaggerations. (440912)
*: This episode has been edited HEAVILY.
Credit goes to tvguide.com, tvland.com, the old honeymooners.net, wpix.com and wgnamerica.com.