Frank Gannucci
02-24-2009, 08:10 AM
"The Worry Wart":
Ralph: "Oh, is that all that they are going to do? They're just gonna take it out of my refund? It just so happens Alice that I was planning on that refund - IN ITS ENTIRETY! I need all of the refund - all 42 dollars! I can't afford to let any of the 42 go! I got to go down to Fred's Landings - I need 42dollars! What am I gonna do if I haven't got enough money?"
Alice: "We'll just have to cut down, Ralph. Just ask for a cheaper tent with a smaller snake."
"Brother Ralph":
Alice: "Don't you trust me Ralph? You are my husband."
Ralph: "No, I'm your brother."
"Songwriters":
Ralph: "If you can write music, you can write any kind of music."
Ed: "Oh yeah?"
Ralph: "Yeah."
Ed: "Name me one Rhumba that Beethoven wrote."
"Jellybeans":
(Ed takes some of the jellybeans and eats them. Ralph spots him.)
Ralph (yells): "WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT ARE YOU EATING THOSE JELLYBEANS FOR?"
Ed: "What's the matter? What are they, poisoned?"
"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":
Nick: "How about $400 a week."
(Ralph coughs.)
Nick: "$500."
(Ralph coughs more.)
Nick: "$600."
Ralph: "Norton, give me some water."
Ed: "Don't be a dope Ralph. Keep coughing Ralph. You will be a millionaire in no time."
"Oh My Aching Back":
(Ralph tries to stand up straight with his bad back.)
Ralph: "How does this look? Does this look natural?"
Ed: "Yeah, like the Leaning Tower of Pizza."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Mike Case is about to hypnotize Alice to get her to tell Ralph where the money is so he can use it on the convention.)
Ralph (to Mike Case): "You might think that this is a little underhanded, but all's fair in love and war."
Ed: "In this family, it's a little bit of both."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Ed & Ralph are trying to think of a way to get that woman, as they refer to her as, out of the phone booth. Unbeknownst to them, the woman is Alice.)
Ed: "Why don't we go across the street, call here, tell this lady she is wanted home. She leaves. Then, we come back here to call up the hypnotist."
Ralph: "Did you just say to go across the street, call here, tell this lady she is wanted home, then when she leaves, we use this phone to call up the hypnotist?" (yells): "I NEVER HEARD ANYTHING MORE STUPID IN MY LIFE. THIS PHONE WOULD BE BUSY IF WE DID THAT."
Ralph: "Oh, is that all that they are going to do? They're just gonna take it out of my refund? It just so happens Alice that I was planning on that refund - IN ITS ENTIRETY! I need all of the refund - all 42 dollars! I can't afford to let any of the 42 go! I got to go down to Fred's Landings - I need 42dollars! What am I gonna do if I haven't got enough money?"
Alice: "We'll just have to cut down, Ralph. Just ask for a cheaper tent with a smaller snake."
"Brother Ralph":
Alice: "Don't you trust me Ralph? You are my husband."
Ralph: "No, I'm your brother."
"Songwriters":
Ralph: "If you can write music, you can write any kind of music."
Ed: "Oh yeah?"
Ralph: "Yeah."
Ed: "Name me one Rhumba that Beethoven wrote."
"Jellybeans":
(Ed takes some of the jellybeans and eats them. Ralph spots him.)
Ralph (yells): "WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT ARE YOU EATING THOSE JELLYBEANS FOR?"
Ed: "What's the matter? What are they, poisoned?"
"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":
Nick: "How about $400 a week."
(Ralph coughs.)
Nick: "$500."
(Ralph coughs more.)
Nick: "$600."
Ralph: "Norton, give me some water."
Ed: "Don't be a dope Ralph. Keep coughing Ralph. You will be a millionaire in no time."
"Oh My Aching Back":
(Ralph tries to stand up straight with his bad back.)
Ralph: "How does this look? Does this look natural?"
Ed: "Yeah, like the Leaning Tower of Pizza."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Mike Case is about to hypnotize Alice to get her to tell Ralph where the money is so he can use it on the convention.)
Ralph (to Mike Case): "You might think that this is a little underhanded, but all's fair in love and war."
Ed: "In this family, it's a little bit of both."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Ed & Ralph are trying to think of a way to get that woman, as they refer to her as, out of the phone booth. Unbeknownst to them, the woman is Alice.)
Ed: "Why don't we go across the street, call here, tell this lady she is wanted home. She leaves. Then, we come back here to call up the hypnotist."
Ralph: "Did you just say to go across the street, call here, tell this lady she is wanted home, then when she leaves, we use this phone to call up the hypnotist?" (yells): "I NEVER HEARD ANYTHING MORE STUPID IN MY LIFE. THIS PHONE WOULD BE BUSY IF WE DID THAT."