Frank Gannucci
02-19-2009, 10:33 AM
"A Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1":
Ralph: "I got news for you Alice. Your husband is crazy."
Alice: "Okay. So what's the big news?"
"The Loudspeaker":
Ralph: "Do you realize that at the annual clambake I have the honor of opening the first clam! And as we take our cruise up the Hudson River I get to go up to the bridge and steer - as we pass Raccoon Point."
Alice: "Well golly gee!"
"A Dog's Life":
Ralph: "Gee, I remember when I used to weigh 165. Did you see me when I weighed 165?"
Ed: "No Ralph. I never did see your baby pictures."
"Follow The Boys":
Ralph: "For one of a shoe, a horse was lost. For one of a horse, a battle was lost. For one of a battle, a war was lost. For one of a war...for one of a war...it was all lost."
Alice: "Yeah? Why don't you get lost?"
"Lost Baby":
(Ralph found a "baby" on his bus.)
Ed: "I still say that baby is John Wadamaker's (sp?) baby."
Ralph: "Are you crazy? John is a millionaire."
Ed: "You're right. If he was that rich, he would have left that baby in a taxi."
"Hair To A Fortune":
Ed: "Here's on bottle. H2O."
Ralph: "H2O. Oh, that is pronounced ho."
"Oh My Aching Back":
(Ed puts a lit match near the thermometer.)
Ed: 'Hey Ralph, what is a normal temperature, around 98 isn't it?"
Ralph: "98.6."
Ed: "What would you say a bad temperature is?"
Ralph: "102. 103. What is it Norton? What is my temperature?"
(A pause.)
Ralph (yells): "WHAT IS MY TEMPERATURE NORTON?"
Ed (starting to cry, yells): "111."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
Ralph & Ed (singing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE DAY IN THE MERRY, MERRY MONTH OF MAY. I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A PAIR OF RUGGISH EYES..."
Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN
THERE? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."
Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity."
(Ralph goes to the window and opens it.)
Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE
SALOON BURN DOWN?"
Jellybeans":
Ralph: "I have always been lucky at contests. Remember last year at Harry's Grove when I won the clam eating contest?"
Alice (from bedroom): "Yeah?"
Ralph: "I got $5 from that. $5."
Alice (coming out of the bedroom): "You sure did and you spent $7 on Alka-Seltzer."
Ralph: "I got news for you Alice. Your husband is crazy."
Alice: "Okay. So what's the big news?"
"The Loudspeaker":
Ralph: "Do you realize that at the annual clambake I have the honor of opening the first clam! And as we take our cruise up the Hudson River I get to go up to the bridge and steer - as we pass Raccoon Point."
Alice: "Well golly gee!"
"A Dog's Life":
Ralph: "Gee, I remember when I used to weigh 165. Did you see me when I weighed 165?"
Ed: "No Ralph. I never did see your baby pictures."
"Follow The Boys":
Ralph: "For one of a shoe, a horse was lost. For one of a horse, a battle was lost. For one of a battle, a war was lost. For one of a war...for one of a war...it was all lost."
Alice: "Yeah? Why don't you get lost?"
"Lost Baby":
(Ralph found a "baby" on his bus.)
Ed: "I still say that baby is John Wadamaker's (sp?) baby."
Ralph: "Are you crazy? John is a millionaire."
Ed: "You're right. If he was that rich, he would have left that baby in a taxi."
"Hair To A Fortune":
Ed: "Here's on bottle. H2O."
Ralph: "H2O. Oh, that is pronounced ho."
"Oh My Aching Back":
(Ed puts a lit match near the thermometer.)
Ed: 'Hey Ralph, what is a normal temperature, around 98 isn't it?"
Ralph: "98.6."
Ed: "What would you say a bad temperature is?"
Ralph: "102. 103. What is it Norton? What is my temperature?"
(A pause.)
Ralph (yells): "WHAT IS MY TEMPERATURE NORTON?"
Ed (starting to cry, yells): "111."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
Ralph & Ed (singing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE DAY IN THE MERRY, MERRY MONTH OF MAY. I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A PAIR OF RUGGISH EYES..."
Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN
THERE? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."
Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity."
(Ralph goes to the window and opens it.)
Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE
SALOON BURN DOWN?"
Jellybeans":
Ralph: "I have always been lucky at contests. Remember last year at Harry's Grove when I won the clam eating contest?"
Alice (from bedroom): "Yeah?"
Ralph: "I got $5 from that. $5."
Alice (coming out of the bedroom): "You sure did and you spent $7 on Alka-Seltzer."