Frank Gannucci
02-17-2009, 10:02 PM
"Cottage For Sale Part 1":
"Mr. Mosby": "I am going to do for you what I did for my mom when she wanted a cottage."
Ed: "You are going to buy one for us?"
"Cottage For Sale Part 1":
Ed: "The door is busted."
Alice: "Ed, don't be ridiculous. This is a dutch door."
Ed: "Boy those dutch people must be very short."
"A Weighty Problem Part 1":
Ed: "Well Ralph, what kind of day has it been today? Has it been a day like all others or one that illuminates our lives?"
Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!"
"Young At Heart":
Ed: "You are supposed to waddle like a duck."
Ralph: "How can I do that?"
Ed: "It's easy. Just walk like you always do."
"Without Reservations":
(Ralph and Ed are in the run-down hotel.)
Ralph: "Would you stop with the wisecracks Norton? When the girls get here I wanna make a good impression!"
Ed: "If you wanna make a good impression, keep the door shut!"
"Opportunity Knocks, But":
(Ralph's boss made Ed Ralph's supervisor.)
Ralph: "It's not my pride."
Alice: "Well, your job is still the same."
Ralph: "Let's face it Alice. When Norton becomes my boss, I'm quitting."
Alice: "Why?"
Ralph: "I got my pride."
"Hot Tip" (Color version):
Ralph: "Where did you get that jacket?"
Ed: "That is what they are wearing down at the track."
Ralph: "Yeah, the horses. But not the people."
"Box Top Kid Part One":
Trixie: "Ed believes that before you go to Europe, you should see a bit of America first. So we made a list. So far this year, we have scratched off Bayoone, Yonkers & Scranton."
Alice: "What are you going to scratch off this year?"
Trixie: "I would like to scratch off Norton."
"People's Choice Part 1":
Ed: "You should go down to my Uncle's place in New Jersey. 'Bullets' will never find you there."
Ralph: "He won't?"
Ed: "No, I have been going down there for the past three Sundays in a row. I can't even find the place myself."
"One Big Happy Family":
Man (from upstairs, yells): "KNOCK OFF THE NOISE DOWN THERE!"
(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)
Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP BEFORE I REPORT YOU TO THE SUPERINTENDENT."
Man (from upstairs, yells): "I AM THE SUPERINTENDENT."
(AmericanLife TV):
(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)
TV-G
All times are Eastern.
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.
Fri. Feb. 20 10p & Sat. Feb. 21, 2009 12a #2 (aka #155) - "Ship of Fools": The Kramdens and Nortons sail to Europe. Ralph and Ed set themselves adrift on a life boat but are rescued some time later. Upon arriving in Paris, Ralph poses for a publicity photo and falls off the deck. (3556/99372)
Fri. Feb. 27 10p & Sat. Feb. 28, 2009 12a #3 (aka #156) - "The Poor People of Paris": Ralph & Ed get a great exchange rate -- on counterfeit money. (4282/84992)
(WGN America) (Not WGN's Chicago feed)
(WGN America's episodes are in CC.)
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
Sun. Feb. 22, 2009 12a #92 (aka #72) - *“Songwriters”: To Alice's dismay, Ralph buys a piano thinking he and Norton can write a hit song and become rich. (970358)
9p #87 (aka #76) – “The Hypnotist (Part One)”: Ralph and Norton see a demonstration by "The World's Greatest Hypnotist." When Alice won't give Ralph money for a convention trip, he decides that hypnotism might work on her. (6553377)
9:30p #88 – “The Hypnotist (Part Two)”: Alice finds out about Ralph's plans to hypnotize her and decides to teach Ralph a lesson. (753483)
Sun. Mar. 1, 2009 12a #95 (aka #56) - *“Move Uptown”: Ralph and Alice plan to move but must sublet their old apartment first. When they can't find a new tenant, Ralph tries to break the lease. (419389)
9p #90 (aka #61) – “Two Men on a Horse (Part One)”: When Ralph loses a large sum of money he was to deposit for the Raccoon Lodge, he and Norton think of ways to make the money back in one day. (9246)
9:30p #91 – “Two Men on a Horse (Part Two)”: Ralph and Norton get a hot tip on a horse and go to the track to place their bet. When the odds on their horse go down, Ralph and Norton scheme to sway the odds in their favor. (69888)
(WPIX & WPIXD)
Mon. Feb. 23, 2009 1a #100 (aka #89) (CC) – “Songs and Witty Sayings (Part One)”: Ralph and Norton team up for a contest hoping to win first prize. Against their husband's wishes, Alice and Trixie also enter the contest. WPIX: 76025. WPIXD: 89085)
1:30a #101 (CC) – “Songs and Witty Sayings (Part Two)”: Ralph and Norton wake up the neighborhood practicing for the contest. (WPIX: 32120 WPIXD: 48120)
Mon. Mar. 2, 2009 1a #037 (aka #125) - "The Safety Award": Ralph is honored with an award for being "the safest bus driver in the city" and plans to take Alice and the Nortons to the ceremony at City Hall. But his big day is plagued with problems, culminating with Ralph having an accident in his friend's car. Ever the optimist, Norton offers a distressed Ralph some sewer-worker words of wisdom: "When the tides of life turn against you, and the current upsets your boat, don't waste those tears on what might have been, just lay on your back and float." Mr. Martin: Frank Marth. (WPIX: 39043. WPIXD: 36395)
1:30a #44 (aka #74) - *“Kramden Vs. Norton”: Ralph takes Ed to the movies for his birthday. Norton wins a television set with the ticket Ralph bought, and the two friends fight over who really owns the TV set. (WPIX: 54840. WPIXD: 60840.)
*: This episode has been edited HEAVILY.
Credit goes to wpix.com, wgnamerica.com, zap2it.com, tvguide.com, tvland.com & the old honeymooners.net.
"Mr. Mosby": "I am going to do for you what I did for my mom when she wanted a cottage."
Ed: "You are going to buy one for us?"
"Cottage For Sale Part 1":
Ed: "The door is busted."
Alice: "Ed, don't be ridiculous. This is a dutch door."
Ed: "Boy those dutch people must be very short."
"A Weighty Problem Part 1":
Ed: "Well Ralph, what kind of day has it been today? Has it been a day like all others or one that illuminates our lives?"
Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!"
"Young At Heart":
Ed: "You are supposed to waddle like a duck."
Ralph: "How can I do that?"
Ed: "It's easy. Just walk like you always do."
"Without Reservations":
(Ralph and Ed are in the run-down hotel.)
Ralph: "Would you stop with the wisecracks Norton? When the girls get here I wanna make a good impression!"
Ed: "If you wanna make a good impression, keep the door shut!"
"Opportunity Knocks, But":
(Ralph's boss made Ed Ralph's supervisor.)
Ralph: "It's not my pride."
Alice: "Well, your job is still the same."
Ralph: "Let's face it Alice. When Norton becomes my boss, I'm quitting."
Alice: "Why?"
Ralph: "I got my pride."
"Hot Tip" (Color version):
Ralph: "Where did you get that jacket?"
Ed: "That is what they are wearing down at the track."
Ralph: "Yeah, the horses. But not the people."
"Box Top Kid Part One":
Trixie: "Ed believes that before you go to Europe, you should see a bit of America first. So we made a list. So far this year, we have scratched off Bayoone, Yonkers & Scranton."
Alice: "What are you going to scratch off this year?"
Trixie: "I would like to scratch off Norton."
"People's Choice Part 1":
Ed: "You should go down to my Uncle's place in New Jersey. 'Bullets' will never find you there."
Ralph: "He won't?"
Ed: "No, I have been going down there for the past three Sundays in a row. I can't even find the place myself."
"One Big Happy Family":
Man (from upstairs, yells): "KNOCK OFF THE NOISE DOWN THERE!"
(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)
Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP BEFORE I REPORT YOU TO THE SUPERINTENDENT."
Man (from upstairs, yells): "I AM THE SUPERINTENDENT."
(AmericanLife TV):
(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)
TV-G
All times are Eastern.
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.
Fri. Feb. 20 10p & Sat. Feb. 21, 2009 12a #2 (aka #155) - "Ship of Fools": The Kramdens and Nortons sail to Europe. Ralph and Ed set themselves adrift on a life boat but are rescued some time later. Upon arriving in Paris, Ralph poses for a publicity photo and falls off the deck. (3556/99372)
Fri. Feb. 27 10p & Sat. Feb. 28, 2009 12a #3 (aka #156) - "The Poor People of Paris": Ralph & Ed get a great exchange rate -- on counterfeit money. (4282/84992)
(WGN America) (Not WGN's Chicago feed)
(WGN America's episodes are in CC.)
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
Sun. Feb. 22, 2009 12a #92 (aka #72) - *“Songwriters”: To Alice's dismay, Ralph buys a piano thinking he and Norton can write a hit song and become rich. (970358)
9p #87 (aka #76) – “The Hypnotist (Part One)”: Ralph and Norton see a demonstration by "The World's Greatest Hypnotist." When Alice won't give Ralph money for a convention trip, he decides that hypnotism might work on her. (6553377)
9:30p #88 – “The Hypnotist (Part Two)”: Alice finds out about Ralph's plans to hypnotize her and decides to teach Ralph a lesson. (753483)
Sun. Mar. 1, 2009 12a #95 (aka #56) - *“Move Uptown”: Ralph and Alice plan to move but must sublet their old apartment first. When they can't find a new tenant, Ralph tries to break the lease. (419389)
9p #90 (aka #61) – “Two Men on a Horse (Part One)”: When Ralph loses a large sum of money he was to deposit for the Raccoon Lodge, he and Norton think of ways to make the money back in one day. (9246)
9:30p #91 – “Two Men on a Horse (Part Two)”: Ralph and Norton get a hot tip on a horse and go to the track to place their bet. When the odds on their horse go down, Ralph and Norton scheme to sway the odds in their favor. (69888)
(WPIX & WPIXD)
Mon. Feb. 23, 2009 1a #100 (aka #89) (CC) – “Songs and Witty Sayings (Part One)”: Ralph and Norton team up for a contest hoping to win first prize. Against their husband's wishes, Alice and Trixie also enter the contest. WPIX: 76025. WPIXD: 89085)
1:30a #101 (CC) – “Songs and Witty Sayings (Part Two)”: Ralph and Norton wake up the neighborhood practicing for the contest. (WPIX: 32120 WPIXD: 48120)
Mon. Mar. 2, 2009 1a #037 (aka #125) - "The Safety Award": Ralph is honored with an award for being "the safest bus driver in the city" and plans to take Alice and the Nortons to the ceremony at City Hall. But his big day is plagued with problems, culminating with Ralph having an accident in his friend's car. Ever the optimist, Norton offers a distressed Ralph some sewer-worker words of wisdom: "When the tides of life turn against you, and the current upsets your boat, don't waste those tears on what might have been, just lay on your back and float." Mr. Martin: Frank Marth. (WPIX: 39043. WPIXD: 36395)
1:30a #44 (aka #74) - *“Kramden Vs. Norton”: Ralph takes Ed to the movies for his birthday. Norton wins a television set with the ticket Ralph bought, and the two friends fight over who really owns the TV set. (WPIX: 54840. WPIXD: 60840.)
*: This episode has been edited HEAVILY.
Credit goes to wpix.com, wgnamerica.com, zap2it.com, tvguide.com, tvland.com & the old honeymooners.net.