Frank Gannucci
02-14-2009, 08:58 AM
"New Year's Eve Party Part 1":
Ed: "Will you stop looking at the dark side of things? If you work on New Years Eve, you are bound to get Saint Valentine's Day off."
Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU SHUT UP!"
"New Year's Eve Party Part 2":
Mr. Marshall (to Ralph): "You lied to me so you can get off New Year's Eve."
Ed (to Ralph): "Now you have to work on Saint Valentine's Day."
"Double Anniverasry Party":
(After Ralph told Ed that he was going to take Alice out for their anniversary like it's an ordinary evening, he will surprise Alice with a dinner at a nightclub. Alice comes in.)
Ed: "Alice, may I be the first to wish you a very happy oridinary evening?"
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"
All from "Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
#1
Ralph: "Me and Alice have an anniversary coing up."
Ed: "I hope that it is the 16th. 16th means net."
#2
Alice: "That is all that you are good for. You always boss us around. You men think you own the world."
Ralph: "You women get revenge. You marry us."
#3
(Ralph & Ed are practing louldy in the middle of the night.)
Ralph (yelling out the window to Garrity): "ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FAT LIP?"
Garrity (yells): "IF I WAS LOOKING FOR A FAT ANYTHING, I WOULD KNOW WHERE TO FIND IT. AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY KRAMDEN? DID THE PIZZERIA BURN DOWN."
All from “Honeymooners Valentine Special”:
#1
Alice: “Ralph purposed to me on Valentine’s Day.”
Trixie: “Yours was more romantic than mine was. Ed proposed to me on Groundhog’s Day.When he pops out of the sewer and sees his shadow, I don’t get a present.”
Alice: “What if he doesn’t?”
Trixie: “I still don’t get one.”
#2
Alice: “What is your waist measurement?”
Ralph: “146.”
#3
Ed: “Trxie how would you like taf pil for dessert?”
Trixie: “What is that?”
Ed: “That is fat lip spelled backwards.”
All from "The Deciding Vote":
#1
Ed: "I wish Trixie would make icing that tastes as good as this."
Alice: "Icing? Ed that's starch."
Ed: "It is?"
(Ed tastes it.)
Ed: "I still wish that Trixie would make icing that tastes as good as this."
#2
Ed: "I always get a cold working under the Park Avenue sewer."
Ralph: "Why?"
Ed: "They are air-conditioned."
#3
(Earlier on Ralph gave Alice a vaccuum. He gave it a test by trying to suck up oatmeal. It doesn't work. So, he loaned it to Joe.)
Ralph: "Why would Joe vote against me?"
Ed: "Remember the vacuum you loaned to him? Jim tested it. He didn't do well with the oatmeal test either.
All from “Honeymooners Second Honeymoon”:
#1
Ralph: “How I love thee. Let me count the ways.”
Alice: “That is beautiful. What is it, browning?”
Ralph: “No. After work, Grogan took me to Reilly’s for a beer. I saw it on an mouthwash commercial.”
#2
(Alice is getting the punch ready but she hasn’t put in the punch yet and the alcohol too. Ralph and Ed don’t know this.)
Ed: “What have we here?”
Ralph: “That is the punch. Wait a minute. Let’s have a drink.”
(Ralph gets a cup.)
Ralph: “I must warn you pal. This stuff is strong. Alice put four cups of vodka in this.”
(Ralph and Ed take a drink.)
Ralph: “As that fat guy on TV says: ‘Mmmmm boy, that’s good booze.’”
#3
Alice: “Tell me, I can’t stand the suspense.”
Ralph: "We are going to spend two glorious weeks at the Raccoon National Cemetery.”
All from "Jack & Julie Together":
#1
Ed: “Why don’t you tell her that you sent her a card but it got lost in the mail?”
Ralph: “That’s dishonest. Besides, I already told her that last year.
#2
Ed: “Why do you pick on me?”
Ralph: “Because you are a BUM!”
#3
Ed (writing Ralph's letter): “’My dearest, darling, loving, sweetheart Alice. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am sorry I forgot your birthday, but I will make it up…I will forget next year's too.”
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"
Happy Valentine's Day!
Ed: "Will you stop looking at the dark side of things? If you work on New Years Eve, you are bound to get Saint Valentine's Day off."
Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU SHUT UP!"
"New Year's Eve Party Part 2":
Mr. Marshall (to Ralph): "You lied to me so you can get off New Year's Eve."
Ed (to Ralph): "Now you have to work on Saint Valentine's Day."
"Double Anniverasry Party":
(After Ralph told Ed that he was going to take Alice out for their anniversary like it's an ordinary evening, he will surprise Alice with a dinner at a nightclub. Alice comes in.)
Ed: "Alice, may I be the first to wish you a very happy oridinary evening?"
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"
All from "Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
#1
Ralph: "Me and Alice have an anniversary coing up."
Ed: "I hope that it is the 16th. 16th means net."
#2
Alice: "That is all that you are good for. You always boss us around. You men think you own the world."
Ralph: "You women get revenge. You marry us."
#3
(Ralph & Ed are practing louldy in the middle of the night.)
Ralph (yelling out the window to Garrity): "ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FAT LIP?"
Garrity (yells): "IF I WAS LOOKING FOR A FAT ANYTHING, I WOULD KNOW WHERE TO FIND IT. AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY KRAMDEN? DID THE PIZZERIA BURN DOWN."
All from “Honeymooners Valentine Special”:
#1
Alice: “Ralph purposed to me on Valentine’s Day.”
Trixie: “Yours was more romantic than mine was. Ed proposed to me on Groundhog’s Day.When he pops out of the sewer and sees his shadow, I don’t get a present.”
Alice: “What if he doesn’t?”
Trixie: “I still don’t get one.”
#2
Alice: “What is your waist measurement?”
Ralph: “146.”
#3
Ed: “Trxie how would you like taf pil for dessert?”
Trixie: “What is that?”
Ed: “That is fat lip spelled backwards.”
All from "The Deciding Vote":
#1
Ed: "I wish Trixie would make icing that tastes as good as this."
Alice: "Icing? Ed that's starch."
Ed: "It is?"
(Ed tastes it.)
Ed: "I still wish that Trixie would make icing that tastes as good as this."
#2
Ed: "I always get a cold working under the Park Avenue sewer."
Ralph: "Why?"
Ed: "They are air-conditioned."
#3
(Earlier on Ralph gave Alice a vaccuum. He gave it a test by trying to suck up oatmeal. It doesn't work. So, he loaned it to Joe.)
Ralph: "Why would Joe vote against me?"
Ed: "Remember the vacuum you loaned to him? Jim tested it. He didn't do well with the oatmeal test either.
All from “Honeymooners Second Honeymoon”:
#1
Ralph: “How I love thee. Let me count the ways.”
Alice: “That is beautiful. What is it, browning?”
Ralph: “No. After work, Grogan took me to Reilly’s for a beer. I saw it on an mouthwash commercial.”
#2
(Alice is getting the punch ready but she hasn’t put in the punch yet and the alcohol too. Ralph and Ed don’t know this.)
Ed: “What have we here?”
Ralph: “That is the punch. Wait a minute. Let’s have a drink.”
(Ralph gets a cup.)
Ralph: “I must warn you pal. This stuff is strong. Alice put four cups of vodka in this.”
(Ralph and Ed take a drink.)
Ralph: “As that fat guy on TV says: ‘Mmmmm boy, that’s good booze.’”
#3
Alice: “Tell me, I can’t stand the suspense.”
Ralph: "We are going to spend two glorious weeks at the Raccoon National Cemetery.”
All from "Jack & Julie Together":
#1
Ed: “Why don’t you tell her that you sent her a card but it got lost in the mail?”
Ralph: “That’s dishonest. Besides, I already told her that last year.
#2
Ed: “Why do you pick on me?”
Ralph: “Because you are a BUM!”
#3
Ed (writing Ralph's letter): “’My dearest, darling, loving, sweetheart Alice. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am sorry I forgot your birthday, but I will make it up…I will forget next year's too.”
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"
Happy Valentine's Day!