Frank Gannucci
02-13-2009, 10:14 AM
(Ralph & Ed are shopping at Walmart to take advantage of the President's Day sales.)
Ed: "Look at thos refrigerators Ralph. They are so empty, I think I am going to cry."
Ralph: "Oh! Look at those pictures of Barack Obama. This is going to be his day. I wonder what Presidents do on President's Day."
Ed: "Celebrate I guess. With all the love he gets, a lot of people will wish him a happy Presidents Day especially if he revives our economy."
Ralph: "That is another reason why we are shopping here. I want to take advantage of the sales. I need a new bowling ball."
Ed: "I am a Simpsons fan. I need a Krusty The Clown book."
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
Ralph: I wonder what our previous presidents like George Washington or Abe Lincoln are thinking of Barack. I bet they think a lot about him and they probably wish him a Happy Presidents Day. He could be a great role model."
Ed: "Yes, you are right. He can show presidents how to make jobs in this world. You know the sewers are laying off 200,000 people."
Ralph: "Yes and my bus company is laying off a lot of workers beside me."
Ed: "They can't lay you off Ralph. They can't even lift you up."
Ralph (yells): "OH, YOU ARE A RIOT NORTON!" (normally): "Well, we need to pay homage to our presidents past and presnet and what better way to do it by way of a holiday especially for Presidents who truly help our country and succeed."
(They sing a song about U.S. Presidents.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: "Come on out here Art. Take a bow."
(Audience applauds as Art comes out and shakes Jackie's hand, rasies his leg and then bows.)
Jackie: "As usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! Good night!"
(The crowd applauds.)
"Brother Ralph":
Ralph: "We have money in the bank, don't we?"
Alice: "Yeah, we have money in the bank. $3.31."
"TV or Not TV":
Ralph: "You are taking that TV set over my dead body."
Ed: "I can't do that. What do you think I am, a mountain climber?"
"A Weighty Problem Part 1":
Ralph: "Look me over. Now describe my build to me."
Ed: "Well, if I would I would say that you have very well-developed muscles. Got good bone structure. Very good bone structure. Fine frame...and the whole thing is covered with fat."
"Boys & Girls Together":
(Ralph comes home. The lights are out and Alice has a candlelight dinner ready.)
Alice: "Hello Ralph."
Ralph: "So, you forgot to pay the electric bill, huh?"
"Letter To The Boss":
Ralph: "Today, I'm fired. Tomorrow, I'm forgotten. They probably won't even know what I look like."
Ed: "That's okay. You go down there tomorrow and apply for another job."
"The Main Event":
(Alice is upset that Dynamite is staying with them.)
Ralph: "This guy holds the record for the quickest knockout."
Alice (getting ready to punch Ralph): "Get ready for a new record."
"Hawaii! Oh! Oh!":
Ralph (to Charlie): "I'm on a diet. I've gone from 220."
Ed: "That's his room number. He actually gone from 280."
"The Sleepwalker":
(Ed has been annoying Ralph while Ralph is trying to get some sleep.)
Ed: "Ralph, are you sure you don't want a kumpquat?"
Ralph (rolling over in bed, yells): "WILL YOU GET TO BED?"
"Mexican Hat Trick":
Ed: "La Cucaracha Shop. Is that the name of the boss?"
Swifty Jenkins: "No, it means The Cockroach Shop."
Ed: "Look at thos refrigerators Ralph. They are so empty, I think I am going to cry."
Ralph: "Oh! Look at those pictures of Barack Obama. This is going to be his day. I wonder what Presidents do on President's Day."
Ed: "Celebrate I guess. With all the love he gets, a lot of people will wish him a happy Presidents Day especially if he revives our economy."
Ralph: "That is another reason why we are shopping here. I want to take advantage of the sales. I need a new bowling ball."
Ed: "I am a Simpsons fan. I need a Krusty The Clown book."
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
Ralph: I wonder what our previous presidents like George Washington or Abe Lincoln are thinking of Barack. I bet they think a lot about him and they probably wish him a Happy Presidents Day. He could be a great role model."
Ed: "Yes, you are right. He can show presidents how to make jobs in this world. You know the sewers are laying off 200,000 people."
Ralph: "Yes and my bus company is laying off a lot of workers beside me."
Ed: "They can't lay you off Ralph. They can't even lift you up."
Ralph (yells): "OH, YOU ARE A RIOT NORTON!" (normally): "Well, we need to pay homage to our presidents past and presnet and what better way to do it by way of a holiday especially for Presidents who truly help our country and succeed."
(They sing a song about U.S. Presidents.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: "Come on out here Art. Take a bow."
(Audience applauds as Art comes out and shakes Jackie's hand, rasies his leg and then bows.)
Jackie: "As usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! Good night!"
(The crowd applauds.)
"Brother Ralph":
Ralph: "We have money in the bank, don't we?"
Alice: "Yeah, we have money in the bank. $3.31."
"TV or Not TV":
Ralph: "You are taking that TV set over my dead body."
Ed: "I can't do that. What do you think I am, a mountain climber?"
"A Weighty Problem Part 1":
Ralph: "Look me over. Now describe my build to me."
Ed: "Well, if I would I would say that you have very well-developed muscles. Got good bone structure. Very good bone structure. Fine frame...and the whole thing is covered with fat."
"Boys & Girls Together":
(Ralph comes home. The lights are out and Alice has a candlelight dinner ready.)
Alice: "Hello Ralph."
Ralph: "So, you forgot to pay the electric bill, huh?"
"Letter To The Boss":
Ralph: "Today, I'm fired. Tomorrow, I'm forgotten. They probably won't even know what I look like."
Ed: "That's okay. You go down there tomorrow and apply for another job."
"The Main Event":
(Alice is upset that Dynamite is staying with them.)
Ralph: "This guy holds the record for the quickest knockout."
Alice (getting ready to punch Ralph): "Get ready for a new record."
"Hawaii! Oh! Oh!":
Ralph (to Charlie): "I'm on a diet. I've gone from 220."
Ed: "That's his room number. He actually gone from 280."
"The Sleepwalker":
(Ed has been annoying Ralph while Ralph is trying to get some sleep.)
Ed: "Ralph, are you sure you don't want a kumpquat?"
Ralph (rolling over in bed, yells): "WILL YOU GET TO BED?"
"Mexican Hat Trick":
Ed: "La Cucaracha Shop. Is that the name of the boss?"
Swifty Jenkins: "No, it means The Cockroach Shop."